twentyfour - nobody likes you when you're twenty three

the art of nobody liking you when you're twenty three

- - -

The curtains were closed, but silvers of faint sunlight managed to seep through the thin material. It wasn't not quite enough to illuminate the space, which left the room enveloped in a soft shadow.

Last night was still coming back to me in a blur. Smudges of color, of dark lashes and sour limes and Hendrix's god awful singing. I could still feel the adrenaline simmering within my veins, making my head dizzy.

Next to me, Kareem looked relaxed. His hair had grown quite long within the past few weeks, and it was fanning out darkly against the sharp white of my pillow. His lips slid into a hazy grin, I leant over to press our mouths together, tasting the sharp bite of smoke and something else - a hint of lemon. I think Hendrix suggested the tequila shots, and I must've been handing the fruit to Kareem out of courtesy for our sober status. Kaz kissed me back lazily, hand coming up to cup my jaw with a gentle but firm grip.

Legs still tangled together, I rested my head on his bare chest as I listened to his heart beat. As fun as night's out were, nothing quite beat these times. Just laying in bed together, holding one another close.

"Happy birthday, my love."

"Thank you, Angel." He murmured back quite happily.

I snuggled into his hold, tranquillity buzzing through my nerves.

"You're officially old now," I teased, poking at his cheek as he scrunched his face up. "You have been alive for 12,088,800 minutes."

One of his eyes opened, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me weirdly. "How long did it take you to memorise that number?"

"A couple of hours," I kissed his nose, "Hendrix helped."

This ignited a groan, "Of course she did."

"You wanna get up, Kaz?" I petted his hair, prompting a quiet sigh.

"In a minute," He yawned, rolling to his side and snuggling closer to me.

"Everyone's going to come over around noon. Sound good?"

His eyes lulled shut as he nodded against my chest. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I pulled our bodies closer together.

After what was definitely longer than a minute, I got out of bed and showered as Kareem started on breakfast. I towelled my hair, trying to contain the wet strands as Kareem slipped into the bathroom, reminding me to not let any of our food burn.

Thirty minutes later, we'd managed to eat and clean our bedroom. I reminded Kareem to reply to everyone's elaborate birthday messages.

He complained, as usual, but acquiesced. I was starting to get excited over seeing his reaction to Kezziah's present. After such a good couple of days, I knew this would be the peak.

My own presents seemed pitiful in comparison but I hoped that he liked them, regardless. I've never been one of those people who can easily buy birthday or Christmas gifts, having always over-thought every single part of the process.

Regardless, an hour later everyone was bustling into the house. Jem trailed behind Hendrix, their hands carried no doubt their own bag and Hendrix's, given her complete incompetence when doing anything for herself.

"Happy birthday, bitch." Hendrix said, poking Kareem's cheek. He moved back, slapping her away. "Twenty thee years ago, you were pushed out of a vagina and brought into this great world, knowing that one day you would be privileged to meet the greatest woman and lesbian to ever live. Her name, you may ask? Hendrix Joy Dexter."

Oh god no.

Kareem definitely didn't look as impressed as Hendrix did. "Your middle name is not Joy."

Hendrix smirked and I groaned at her smugness. I faced Kareem, noting his confused expression before I reluctantly nodded. "To my greatest dismay, I must admit it is."

His mouth dropped open. Yeah, that was my initial reaction too. "What?"

"I don't know why. I don't know who thought it would ever be a good idea." I started off, ignoring the way I could hear Kezziah and Sacha cackling at Kareem's gobsmacked face. "But it is, and she never fails to bring it up at the most inconvenient times."

"It's not my fault that I'm a joy to be around." Hendrix cut in.

"You're not." I deadpanned, keeping a straight face. "And you're also not as funny as you think you are. Do better."

"Fuck you. I'm exactly as funny as I think I am. It's not my fault that your mental capacity is not as advanced as my level of intelligence."

"You're really not funny."

"Just because you can't comprehend how funny I am, doesn't mean I'm not funny." She shot back, "I'm really funny. Sometimes, I'll be alone at the apartment and I'll think something, and I literally make myself laugh like none of you bitches can, because I'm that funny."

"That doesn't even make sense!" I exclaimed.

"As I said, your lack of -"

"I swear to God, I've heard one sentence and I'm ready to walk out." Sacha announced his arrival, placing a bottle of vodka onto the side as he walked into the room.

I blinked at it before rounding on my brother. "The fuck is that?"

"Lemon juice." He deadpanned, "The fuck do you think it is?"

"Get it out of my house. You're underage."

"It's not your house, it's Kaz's." He stuck his tongue out at me, making Hendrix stifle a laugh. "Anyway, I'm celebrating."

"You got a free pass yesterday. One day only. That's over now. You're still a normal nineteen year old so put it away and go sit on the stairs and think about what you've done." I berated, before actually taking a second to think about what I'd said to him first. Something I'd said without even thinking.

As if he knew where my thoughts had gone, Kareem reached out and squeezed my hand, smiling with a small nod.

Breathing out, my shoulders relaxed as I sent my brother another glare. "Do I need to ask again?"

"When I'm a millionaire, I'm going to disown you."

"When you're a millionaire, I'll sue you for everything you're worth. Don't test me, Sacha."

"Cley, shut up." Hendrix butted in, throwing an arm over his shoulder as he scowled at us. "It's Murad's birthday and we need to celebrate. I've got some brownies anyway so go hide the vodka." She said the last sentence quietly but I caught it.

Kareem grabbed my wrist and held my back before I could dive on them both.

Just as I was about to throw a glass at them both, Kezziah barged in and paused, looking at us weirdly.

Shaking her head, she rested her bag on the couch before pulling out a wrapped, thin present. Her eyes caught mine almost immediately and she let me see the panic swarming in her brown orbs but I sent her a small smile, knowing she had nothing to be worried about.

Ignoring everybody else, I went up to her and asked her softly, "Are you okay?"

"Does wanting to leave and never come back classify as okay?" She directed back instantly, closing her eyes as she shook her head. "I can't do this. What if he doesn't want to? Or feels forced into it? I can't do this to him. I-"

"Kezz," I cut her off, reaching out and grabbing her hand on instinct. She stared down at the way I held her hand, squeezing softly as an emotion that I couldn't decipher spiralled on her face. "I need you to trust me, okay? You're a team. It's Kezz and Kaz. It'll always be Kezz and Kaz; this will just make it all official."

"I know but-"

"Can I give you my present now?"

"Can you not see I'm busy?" The rebuttal seemed to bounce off her as she brushed me off with a wave of her hand. Rolling my eyes, I turned back to Kezziah to see her sending me a small, reassuring smile. My eyebrows raised in question and she nodded.

Hendrix smiled giddily as Kareem sat at the table rather unwillingly. Jem tried to stifle a laugh as Hendrix bounced on her feet, seemingly more excited about this entire event than Kareem was.

"Merry Christmas, dickhead." Hendrix pulled out an awfully large present from her bag, pretty much throwing it onto the table in front of him.

With a frown above his eyebrows, Kareem ripped away the wrapping until the box was revealed.

"You're joking."

"What sort of monstrosity is that?"

"Thank you?" Kareem's tone made the words sound more like a question. And then, more timidly, "What is it?"

"It's a Star Wars AT-AT Metal Model!" Hendrix announced rather proudly, "I built it myself."

Stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth, Sacha pointed out rather bluntly. "Aren't you supposed to give the parts to someone so they can build it themselves?"

"Yep!" Hendrix didn't even seem bothered by the fact she opened her present for Kaz and built it. "But look, I added a photo for your enjoyment. You can put it on top of your cupboard in your room."

"With all due respect, Jimi, I don't particularly want a photograph of Donald Trump with an orange filter on staring at me while I sleep."

She blinked, "There's no filter on the photo."

"As interesting as it is," My hand gestures to all of it, "What was your thought process behind it?"

She glowered at me, slapping my arm before huffing. "It looked cool and I was bored."

"Well," Jem swerved in, pushing their body in front of Hendrix as they handed Kaz a considerably smaller sized box. "Enjoy?"

"Thank you," Kareem said before even opening the package, seeming genuinely grateful that Jem had thought of him. Despite the fact Jem didn't actively dislike Kareem anymore, their pending friendship had been somewhat strained since Jem's ignorant comments.

The box opened and Kareem pulled out a snow globe. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the background was a photograph of me and Kareem laughing in Dexter's. My lips tugged up unconsciously as I pictured the snow globe at the side of our bed. Regardless of where we end up, whether it's across the world or not, we'll always have that as a reminder of where we started.

"I love it," Kareem told Jem, voice soft as he thumbed over the glass. "Thank you so much."

Jem shrugged but grinned softly, "You're welcome."

"My turn," Sacha pulled out his phone. "It's partly from Saint too but..." Once the page came up, he handed his phone to Kareem so he could look at it. "Six tickets to LA, to meet our new management team and sign our three album contract."

"Shit," Kareem breathed out, eyes wide as I smiled at him. "I-This is really happening."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Hendrix reminded him.

"Oh yeah!" Sacha swiped the screen, "Two tickets for your dogs. Realized I couldn't leave them behind."

"Wait," Kezziah spoke up, sounding a lot less confident than I'd ever heard her. "Why are there six?"

My face softened, "It's for you...if you want it."

Her eyes fluttered, searching mine as she nodded, thinking over the decision. It wasn't going to be an easy one. Sacha had only bought the tickets this morning as we spoke about it yesterday, after I gave him the confirmation that I'd go with them.

Jem hummed, before lifting up their eyes to capture mine. "Are you signing a contract too?"

"What?" Hendrix directed towards me, eyebrows drawn into a frown. "Why would you be signing a contract?"

"They're thinking about it, according to Sacha." I answered Jem instead, anxiety twisting at something deep in my stomach. "They want to look at my writing a bit more before anything is finalised but apparently they're impressed with the songs they've already heard."

"Writing?" Hendrix echoed, "You write their songs?"

"Co-write." I corrected, not wanting Sacha or any of the boys to be brushed off as just the performers. They wrote beside me; it was just as much their work as it was mine. "Anyway, back to the presents."

"It's your turn anyway, Saint Nick."

"Hm," The box was only little but I hoped I hadn't overstepped with my present. I ardently wanted something that meant a lot to him, something he could cherish forever.

Kareem thumbed over the box before he finally lifted it up, revealing to everyone watching what was inside.

"Oh," He breathed out deeply, eyes beginning to water.

"I know they're not the real ones." I started off nervously. Anxiety was rolling off me in waves as I internally chided myself, wishing I'd got him something normal instead. "I wanted something meaningful. I didn't mean to overstep. I can take them back, get you something else. I-"

Kareem cut me off with a hug, hand cradling my head as he nuzzled the crook of my neck. A few tears dripped onto my shoulder but he just squeezed me tighter.

When we finally pulled apart, he picked up the dog-tags and fastened them around his neck. Three tags. One for him and one for each person he lost. Lennon and Zeppelin; the family he found in the midst of a war.

When it came to Kezziah's turn, her somewhat relaxed state faded.

The girl shuffled from side to side when it came to her giving her gift to Kareem. She was avoiding eye contact with everyone as she shoved the envelope into her brother's hands. We'd spent the last few weeks getting the paperwork ready, discussing the decision with her social worker and ensuring that we'd be able to move Kezziah into Kareem's immediately, and now all we needed now was a signature.

Kareem's eyebrows furrowed as he took in the paper, opening the envelope and pulling out the enclosed pages. His eyes flickered over the paper and he paused. Within just a few moments, his eyes welled up in tears again and I knew he was fighting internally to stop himself from sobbing.

Not needing to say a single word, Kareem stood up and threw his arms around Kezziah, holding her as close to him as physically possible. Kezziah buried her face into his shoulder, sniffling lightly.

My heart soared for them both, for the two lost souls that found each other. Kareem may have come into this world without a family but he'll never go without one ever again.

Sacha beamed at me, putting his arm over my shoulder as I wiped my eyes, getting choked up at the heart-warming sight. It was like a breath of fresh air to see it, given the last soul crushing weeks. Kareem finally pulled away from Kezziah, shakily smiling as he fixed his stare on the papers as though it'd physically pain him to move them away. He was clutching them tightly, almost like he was scared they'd disappear if his grip loosened for even a split second.

He shuffled through them, finding the designated pages and signing without hesitation. The action caused Kezziah to throw herself at him again, legs wrapping around his waist as she clutched him tightly. It was so heartbreakingly beautiful to witness, and my heart felt so full.

Once everything had calmed down, Hendrix started her complementary speech about responsibility while I drowned her out. Sacha was annoying Kezziah across the room and Jem had taken to playing with Kaz's dogs, King and Starr.

There was nothing better than times like these. Time with the family I chose rather than the one I was stuck with. It made me confident that the changes now occurring would be for the better because, no matter what happened, I'd always have these people beside me.

New York has been my home for my entire life. When I moved into this city at eighteen, I never imagined a time where I'd willingly want to leave it. Things have changed for me now and that's okay. I'm okay with these changes because I'm surrounded by the best people. I'm excited for the future. I'm excited to see what the world holds for Fallen Temple. I'm excited to share my writing with people and actually get recognized for something so special to me.

Everything was coming full circle now for all of us. Jem had one more year left of their Masters. Hendrix had started being a lot more involved in the bakery and experimenting with a variety of new confectionaries. Kezziah was applying to college and undoubtedly getting a shitload of acceptances because that girl was a genius.

LA was the entertainment centre. The place of music, movies and stars. It was where musicians go to be seen, to have their music played from the rooftops or to perform crosswalk concerts to the masses.

LA was going to change everything for us, and I couldn't wait.

A/N:

i really hated this chapter lol

do love a bit of family time but this took me so long to write and i'm still not happy with it but we move

thank you for reading!