The Role We Play

* Dennis Johnston *

Sweat was dripping down my body as I held my throat. I felt my chest heave up and down. My heart was beating arduously and at an irregular pace, visibly desperate for a sense of relief. I awoke in a jolt of panic as the screams rang in my ear like the bells at school, continuously and on a loop.

"Baby, it was just a dream," were the words that I could barely hear over the obnoxious ringing in my ears.

I secured my hands over them and sealed my eyes to better block out everything that was trying to suffocate me.

"No, no, no," I mumbled under my breath as an uncontrollable convulsing started up in the core of my body, and soon took me over, captivating me.

Two warm arms wrapped themselves around me and a gentle hum overboarded my eardrums. The melody had a sense of familiarity to it. It was still drowned out by the other sounds capsizing it.

I wanted, no needed, to focus on the song and the calming way it was presented to me. The shaking was slowly leaving me as the song climbed its way to the forefront of my mind.

My breathing gradually returned to its normal tune, as I fixated my attention on the melodious humming coming from the person next to me. The harmony engrossed me, swallowing me up into its dulcet nature. My mom used to sing this to me when I was younger and needed ease.

"Mom," I whispered as I gradually detached my hands from my ears and my top lash line to my bottom.

"I'm here, there's no need to be afraid," she said to me in her consoling voice that I was so accustomed to hearing.

I breathed, "I'm glad."

Maybe thirty minutes went by. I finally started to feel the normal amount of anxiety I possessed come back, rather than a domineering one.

"Mom I, I feel better. I can get up now. Where's Dennis?" I looked at my hands.

Then, we were surrounded by an eerie quietness that brushed every inch of the walls. Words escaped me as I looked up and saw her peering down at me with an intent, layered look.

If one could look behind the blank canvas, they might become open to a realm of damage. Just look deeper.

My eyes turned away from her as I lifted myself against my headboard. I immediately knew where I needed to be.

Words couldn't escape my mouth as I peeled myself away from the warm, comforting arms of my mother and into the coldness of my house. I breathed in the frigid air as I took steps toward one of the most important aspects of my life.

Standing in front of Denny's door, I touched the smooth wood that had been painted some blue color years before I was born. My fingers contacted the door, and I swung it open not even bothering to knock. He looked so different but familiar at the same time.

I could see bruises on his face and arms, everywhere that wasn't covered in clothing. But most importantly was the cast surrounding his knuckles.

My hand involuntary covered my mouth as the words, "Hey, Little Miss, you're staring," came into my ears.

His voice took me out of my trance and the next thing I knew I was colliding my body with his. I felt airy just by hearing his voice. He wasn't acting like the most catastrophic thing that has ever happened to us just occurred hours ago.

"You're going to give me more bruises than I already have with all that squeezing," I laughed at his remark with tears welling up in my eyes.

I smiled, "How are joking right now, you lost a fight with our dad?"

"I won and give it a few weeks, I will be able to take him again." Confidence rolled off of him.

Ugh, why was he acting like that? I lifted my head from his chest and connected our hands. I rubbed my thumb against the wrap around his knuckles.

"Are you feeling okay?" He peered into my eyes and then back down at our newly connected hands.

A shaky breath escaped his lips followed by another. He continuously breathed in and out for a few seconds and I followed suit. In and out, we breathed. Not making eye contact but taking each other in. I watched his chest fall, and rise, and then he started to stutter.

A deep breath followed as he took his hand away from mine and put it over his eyes. To my surprise, he didn't cry. He started breathing heavily again before removing his hands and laughing. He was laughing, I thought to myself and confusion took over my face.

"Does this look like the face of a guy who is okay? All in one day, I went from hating my mom for our lives being ruined to hating myself for half the things I said to her. Our dad and I were abusing her. Maybe even you." His gaze turned harsh.

"Take a good look in the mirror sister, because we can't just blame our dad for what happened. All of us... had something to do with this." His voice broke at the last sentence.

Dennis stopped and turned toward the window. "I did this to our family. Now my head hurts. My hands feel like they're going to fall off. In addition to that, I feel guilty. God, don't you know by now not to ask someone who is clearly not okay if they are all right? Surprise, surprise I'm not."

A few tears fell out of my eyes as he spoke so earnestly. Seeing it, he wrapped his sore and fiery red arms around me and pulled me in for an embrace. I hugged him back and we sat there, in that very position for a few minutes.

"Can I stay with you tonight? I know it's stupid, but I don't want to be alone." I'm not sure if it was for his sake or mine. Either way, we needed each other. He wasn't wrong though. All of us had a role to play.

"It might be a tight squeeze, but if you promise not to touch me, I guess you stay in here." He could not help himself but say something trivial.

Giggling, I said, "I'm going to bring you some food, okay." I poked his arm and got up to leave.

He tried to grab me with his weak arm but failed. "I'm tired of that crap you made two days ago, make some pasta."

"Make it yourself, oh wait," I jested to him as I left his room and went downstairs.

I decided to make dinner by myself tonight. Mom was still shaky from the whole ordeal and Dennis was pretty much out of commission. I scoured our kitchen for something to make. I guessed we would be having a light dinner. I don't think any of us had much of an appetite. So, I settled on making a few Dinner Roll Sandwiches for the three of us. I carried the platter to Dennis's room, which he and my mom were in.

"I brought you something," I said in a sing-song way.

He responded, "Thank you, Little Miss."

"What, no snarky reply? I'm shaking," I sat down on the bed beside him.

"How are you feeling?" I rubbed his arm.

Dennis grabbed a sandwich off the plate. "I'll feel better after eating."

I looked over at Mom, "How are you feeling?" She had to deal with seeing Dad again, coming to see me in the nurse's office, and then taking her son to the Emergency Room.

"Me? I'll be fine. I'm more worried about the two of you. How are you, Daya?" I took a bite of my sandwich.

"I am still reeling from everything that happened today, but I think all I need is time."

She agreed, "I think time is what we all need."

The rest of the night felt oddly less draining than the day. I cooked and Mom, Dennis, and I all sat in his room. We ate and communicated about something that didn't hurt me on an emotional level.

It was the first conversation in days where I was not on the brink of tears and I couldn't help but feel better about things. Mom told us that neither of us had to go to school tomorrow, not like Denny was going anyway.

"I'll be right back," I said as I went to the bathroom. It was the first time I was alone today and could honestly see things for what they truly were. I took a bath and almost fell asleep while I was still in there. Then, I changed into my sleep clothes and went back into Denny's room.

They were both sound asleep by the time I got back. A small part of me was scared to get in bed. But the thought of interrupting the peace they were having nearly stopped me. I decided to stay, and I fell asleep with my brother beside me and my mother beside him.

I hoped all of our dreams could bring us some semblance of peace.

* Hello, you guys! That is officially the end.... of day two.

Personally, I feel like day two was a bit of a slow day and it is the shortest day that I wrote. I'm still happy with it though. The events of day three change the course for the rest of the story so I hope you're excited.

How was day two as a whole in your opinion? And how does it hold up to day one?

I've been thinking about changing the cover. What do y'all think?

Thank you all so much for the love my story has been getting and 2k! *