Last a Lifetime

*Young Jay and Daya*

My eyes felt like they had been open for hours, but simultaneously like they had been opened for the first time.

A gasp escaped my throat as I fell off my daybed and onto my fuzzy tan carpet. My head popped up and I looked at the completely intact window. My hand landed on my forehead. The blue glare coming through the window revealed that it must have been early morning or late at night.

With laden breaths, I put my head onto the carpet and lay there so confused. My head was killing me as flashes ran through my mind of bloody hands, glass, and multiple versions of me.

Was I daydreaming? What in the world was that?

Then I started remembering what was happening before I was transported to my dream world. I lifted my head and brought my eyes to look at the door.

No way was he still here.

I turned my person around to face the door fully and wrapped my arms around my knees. I sat like that for almost ten minutes, my eyes only leaving the door to blink.

Taking a very deep breath, I put myself in the crawling position and started moving towards the door. When I reached it, I put my ear to the cold wood.

Nothing could be heard.

Haltingly, my hand wrapped itself around the doorknob and unlocked it. Then in one swift motion, I barely opened it. I put both my hands on the side of the door before peeking over and being greeted by the hallway carpet.

I guess he didn't stay as long as it took. A breath I thought I let out long ago fell out of my lips.

Using the doorknob as leverage, I lifted myself and opened the door further. I walked down the hall and the stairs and into the kitchen.

My eyes surveyed every centimeter that was visible to me, to be certain that he wasn't there, or that anyone was there for that matter. I opened the fridge and saw a plate wrapped in aluminum foil that wasn't there before.

When I reached for it, I saw that my name was written on it in black marker. I took off the foil to reveal ham, green beans, and hush puppies on the plate before me. I missed dinner, mom must have been so concerned.

Without haste, I heated the food. Knowing my mom, she probably stayed up all night waiting for me to open the door. As soon as it dinged I got my food out of the microwave, grabbed a fork, and darted for my room.

When I reached the top of the stairs I heard a voice from down the hall say, "Oh my God, Daya."

I sighed and tilted my head back.

"Daya please, tell me you're okay," my mom said as she crossed the hall and wrapped her arms around me.

"Can we talk in my room?" She nodded and so that's what we did.

I slowly picked at my food while we sat on my daybed and she asked me again, "Are you okay?"

"Honestly Mom, I don't think so. How much do you know?" I inquired as she kissed my forehead, and weaved her fingers through my hair.

"Jayson came over. He said that something happened between the two of you that wasn't very pleasant. He gave no details about what happened, but he sat here and waited for you to come home not long after you left." I rolled my eyes, not at her but at the memory.

"We concluded that you were probably at the park, but I suggested for him to give you some time alone to gather yourself. I saw what happened once you got back here. Jayson went to your door and tried for a while to get you to come out."

She continued, "Then I tried and Dennis tried. Dennis suggested that you may have snuck out, but when we went outside... we saw your silhouette in the window."

Then, her words truly hurt. "You really scared us."

"Jayson was outside looking up at you for a little while and you weren't... moving." She choked up in between weren't and moving.

She looked very worried. "I practically had to force him to go home after it got dark and you were still unresponsive."

I continued eating my green beans and then she said, "That's all that I know. Now please, tell me what happened." I could hear the despair in her voice.

"I think I blacked out or was so scared I couldn't move and lost myself in my mind. Or I fell asleep in a really uncomfortable position," I said relieving the crick in my neck.

She put her arm around my shoulder, and brought me closer, "Scared of what, baby?"

I didn't know how to tell her, so I shook my head and ate a piece of ham.

"Tell me," the words she spoke were filled with so much anguish.

I opened my mouth a few times before I settled on the words, "I think I... might be in love with Jay. Whatever that means. And I saw him with his girlfriend, Olivia, in a moment that I would do anything to unsee."

"In my mind, I assumed that after certain things happened between him and me earlier he felt the same way. Now, I don't think he does, and that..... truly terrifies me. I may have lost my... my best friend," my eyes were watery.

I paused and she said, "Why? Why does that scare you so badly that you completely shut down."

A tear fell down my face, "I'm fearful of rejection. I don't feel like I can move forward now and we definitely can't go back. I'm so scared of losing him and that I'll lose everything. I'll finally be... completely alone."

"No, Daya. You will never be alone. As long as I can, I'll be here for you. Your family will be here for you. And I'm sure that you can move forward with Jayson. As something more than friends, I'm not sure. And it doesn't need to be that. You're both just sixteen, sweetheart." She looked at me with teary eyes of her own.

"These things take time to develop. But, I do know that you and that boy have a bond that is once in a lifetime and that lasts a lifetime. He won't abandon you over something so frivolous." Her smile was so sure.

By that point, I was barely holding myself together. "Dad left me. He left us and I never thought, for even a second, that he could do something like that before he was just gone. Even a few weeks after I still thought maybe he was coming back and it was all some messed up joke. So, don't pretend that you know that," I snapped.

"Look, I do know that he came over here and sat for an hour before you got home. He also sat in front of your door for hours after you arrived. He wouldn't leave until about the fifth time I asked him in the dead of night. He clearly loves you. Not every man is your father. Your father wasn't always like how your father is now." A part of me knew she was right, but I didn't want to hear it.

It seemed like she was going to continue but I interjected by saying, "But he became that way. I'm not sure if I can get past this. I mean, I know that I can't really be mad at him for being with his girlfriend, but I think my view of him is forever changed. For both of them."

She nodded, "I'm just happy that you're okay. You look so tired, baby. How about we go to sleep and then deal with all this emotional stuff in the morning, yes?"

"Okay," I said as she pressed against me tightly before getting up.

She squeezed my hand and said, "Sleep well, my sweet girl." She headed toward my door and I said, "Will you stay with me?" I sighed, "Again."

My mom smiled and said, "I was planning on it. I was going to close the door."

We halfheartedly smiled at each other and she was right, my emotions would still be there in the morning. Well, later that morning, since it was probably around three. We could deal with it then.

We were lying in the bed together, sharing a pillow, and even though I felt tired I couldn't sleep. Though I wasn't facing her, I knew she was still awake too.

"Mom, you never answered my question from this morning." I turned over and she looked at me with half-open eyes. I knew that she recognized what I was referring to. Still, she asked, "What do you mean?"

I exhaled out, "How am I supposed to feel?" I said in almost a whisper and a warm tear fell on my face.

Her soft hand met my jaw as her thumb rubbed my cheek up and down, wiping my tears away.

"I never want you to hate your father... but whatever you feel or need to feel is completely up to you at this moment's time. If you need to hate, hate. Yell, scream, or write out your frustrations all you need. If you need to love, choose love. Cry, dance, or write letters. I can't choose how you feel for you. However, I admonish you to take all the time you could need before making any rash decisions. People are capable of redemption... I love you." Her advice was sound, but it felt like something was missing.

Yet, I smiled at her. "I love you, too."

She kissed my forehead, and when she pulled away, I saw a drop scroll down her face too.

I sobbed into her chest and soon after, I heard soft cries coming from her as well.

*Young mom and dad*

* This is the end of day three. The rest of the days are a bit different. We have some new characters coming and I hope you are excited to read as Daya's story progresses.

Do you think Jay can be redeemed?

Who's more likely to get redemption, the dad or Jay?

Thanks for reading! Remember to comment, follow, and share!*