1. Asphyxiated.

I am fixated on death.

I am fixated on ultimatums.

I am fixated on karma.

I am fixated on bad habits.

Fixated on bad words.

Fixated on being heard,

But never speaking up.

Fixated on hurt that I never let go.

Fixated on myself,

But only my flaws.

And how far I can drop myself.

Not how far I can go.

I am fixated on the opposite of hope,

Of faith,

Of believing in something great.

I am fixated on death.

So fixated that I feel asphyxiated with my own breath.

That I feel asphyxiated til,

I can't hold my own breath.

Til I feel asphyxiated,

Out of breath.

I am fixated on my down fall.

Fixated.

Asphyxiated.

Breathless.

Dead.