xxxi.

one. this is to the day when stretch marks became the epitome of tragic beauty and strength to my eyes. when these lines on human body started to become highlights of pure gold. when i realised that these are not the souvenir of weaknesses to be kept hidden under layers which are not even close to the prettiness of your skin colour. when i decided that i would never hesitate to show off the results of the pain and hardwork that my system underwent to match the satisfaction of my brain.

one. you are the reason i see beauty in stretch marks. thank you for being one of the strongest humans i have ever known.

two. this is to that first mathematics class during summer three years ago in that dim and windy room. to the days when you liked numbers more that human physiology. to those extra hours we had spent on the second to last bench to solve those questions. when we would speak a sentence more than we did the previous day.

two. this is to the day i told you about my poetry and my love for literature and Tokyo lights.

three. this is to all those one-to-one conversations we have ever had. and to those hours long text conversations which were more real than anything i would ever speak.

three. this is to that night we stayed up in dark last December and talked. about everything.

four. this is to that time you cried behind your sunglasses under the setting sun. no. i do not always cry for other humans. i am sorry but there was no way i could stop myself from tearing apart after seeing you that day.

four. this is to the day i realised how much you actually love your parents.

five. this is to the first chocolate ice cream we shared from the same cup. this is to the day you had cheated your diet after months for my hot chocolate. i was fully aware that you did it for your sandwich but i like to think that you did it for me.

five. this is to those discussions we had over TFIOS and Lauv's awkward dance moves and Severus Snape and Eddie Redmayne and politics and Stephen Hawkings.

six. this is to the first time i saw you in a dress. you are beautiful. you always were to me. since day one. through all your phases. you always will be.

six. this is to all your hardwork, physical and mental. this is to tell you that i am proud of you. i really am.

seven. this is to the messages which were not replied [ texts as well as physical cues ]. this is to the calls which were ignored [ phone and otherwise ].

seven. this is to you. and this is to us.

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this is not my best work. however, every word in this piece is raw and straight from the core of my cardiac system. believe me. yes. this is how we talk.

there are things and words and moments that i have not mentioned here because no matter how much i write about us, there will always be things remaining in my brain. i love you. i do. i am proud of you. i will always be there for you. i promise.