Chapter Ch 22- conflicting emotions

–Kora–

Morning came quickly, and by the time the first sun started to rise, all the glowing plants and shimmering water returned to normal. It was baffling how their unearthly glow just disappeared, along with all the fireflies in the area.

I hadn’t seen the river or any other part of the forest change like this in all the weeks I’d lived out here. Why was this area so different?

During the night, Elazar took it upon himself to add a few more depictions and words into my notebook. Some I was able to easily identify and understand. Others I didn’t.

He drew pictures of a few plants around us and even went as far as crushing up flowers petals and other things to use as color pigment for better imagery. Who would’ve known these 7ft tall natives were freaking pro’s at drawing?

Elazar’s pictures made from charcoal, berries and plant leaves could put some of earth’s best artists to shame.

Through these images, he showed me that the small white flowers growing on some of the vines deterred most animals and predators away from this area, but I didn’t have any idea how.

He also added some landmarks to my map, including the location we were at. We were surprisingly close to the river, meaning it wouldn’t be very hard for me to return home.

Along with the extra vocabulary lessons, he returned my clothes to me. Unfortunately, they had more than a few extra holes torn into them, leaving my shirt practically in tatters. I’d have to try sewing them closed the best I could once I get back home. At least the shorts weren’t completely destroyed, even though the buttons were broken off.

I glanced at the alien roaming around our secluded part of the woods, his tail flicking back and forth as he moved.

For such a large, brutish alien, Elazar seemed like a really gentle soul now that we’d formed an alliance of sorts and I’d gotten a better feel for him. He’d been avoiding certain things that set me off since he brought me back here. He was even extra careful not to make me uncomfortable while checking over my injuries.

It was kind of strange how my wounds looked so much better than they did yesterday. I could’ve sworn they were a lot worse, even life-threatening. Maybe I only passed out when I was attacked because I was so exhausted?

But I swore it felt like I was dying…even now I could remember that sense of impending doom looming over my shoulder.

I needed to stop thinking about it. It wasn’t helping my state of mind, and I was still mentally drained from all the shit that had happened to me these past few weeks.

Elazar grunted, shaking his head as he prowled around the edge of the water. He’d been acting like this all morning, and it was…strange. He seemed a little anxious as he kept pacing, his tail swiping the air behind him blindly, and a bit more aggressively than before.

He looked around the forest contemplatively, before shooting a not-so discreet glance at me. I should probably have gone home, especially because I knew the way back now and my injuries weren’t as severe as I’d imagined.

But what about him?

Should I take him with me like a lost puppy? Would he even follow me? I doubted he would turn rabid if I tried to leave, and attempt to kill me, but he might still try to stop me.

Either way, we couldn’t stay camped out here forever. Surely he had a tribe he needed to return to and I needed some proper shelter. As beneficial as it was to have him around, it was probably not very safe for either of us.

Sighing, I sat on a large rock, poking at the fire with a stick. After a moment, Elazar finally came over, crouching down in front of me.

I looked at him as he eyed me strangely. “Kora, aym ku ke’et.”

Arching a brow, I just stared at him, having zero clue as to what he’d just said. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan, and looked away, trying to come up with a different way to explain himself.

Standing up, he gestured to the area around us, speaking slowly as he pointed to himself, then the forest, then me, and then finally the ground. He then continued on, talking and making other hand gestures that made no sense to me.

I was starting to think this guy was some kind of weirdo who’d been cast out of his village because he has a few screws loose. He paced once more before stopping and looking down at me seriously.

“Ke’et’ aine.” He pointed at me, then the ground.

Did he want me to stay here?

He grabbed his spear, looking at me once more before quickly leaving the area, disappearing from sight.

“And he’s gone,” I muttered to myself.

I sat there for what felt like ages, listening to the various critters chirping and communicating in the forest around me while patiently waiting for Elazar to come back.

How long was he going to be gone? Where did he even go?

I glanced around and sulked, unsure what to do in this situation. Now was my chance to leave, to get away from Elazar and return to my cave without having to worry about him following me but…the idea of just ditching him somehow bothered me.

Elazar was…strange. He seemed really kind and caring, and I’m sure he was the reason I was still breathing. I wasn’t sure why he’d go out of his way to help me, but I owed him a lot.

He saved me, fed me, and even started teaching me some things. Having him around didn’t sound half bad, and honestly? He wasn’t bad company to keep.

Besides the little mishap with fondling me–

–I’d yet to see him show any sort of ill intention.

But did I really want to risk trusting someone again? After what Max did to me…

Squeezing my eyes shut, I shuddered, burying my head in my arms.

It had hurt enough that Max had tried to use me after gaining my trust, but the worst part was him trying to force himself on me in that stairwell. I thought he cared about me, and I’d let my guard down…

I grit my teeth just thinking about it, and shook my head. How many times had people tried to manipulate and use me? I’d honestly lost count. It had always been the same, ever since I was a child.

They all acted nice, treated you well and lured you into a false sense of security, only to stab you in the back, throw you on the streets or try to sell you off when it was most convenient for them. All men were the same, alien or not. Just smooth talking jackasses who wanted to take something from you. Once they got what they wanted, they abandoned you like trash on the ground.

Looking up at the part of the forest Elazar had disappeared into, I silently waited, unsure of what to do next.

–Elazar–

I needed to hurry.

Leaving Kora alone at the healing pool for too long wasn’t ideal, especially in her condition. Even though her wounds had healed considerably, she was still weak, and I’d yet to fully gain her trust. If I was gone too long, she might decide to move on and leave the area. If that happened, then any number of problems could arise.

I slowed my pace a little while running through the forest. What was she to me?

She was a human, not even the same species as me. We could hardly communicate, and had so many differences in both appearance and personality.

Of course, when I found her it felt like the only right thing to do was to help her, but I’ve gone far beyond that. And for what? She wasn’t my mate, nor was she part of my tribe or any other.

I should’ve left her once she awoke and just parted ways.

So why was I going out of my way for her?

I’d noticed how I talked and moved around her, including my eating habits, and fixing any knots in my mane to make it look nice, was to please her. It didn’t make any sense to me, and yet I continued to do such things.

I should have been more focused on other things, like–

I stopped in my tracks, staring down at the ground in deep thought. I was failing to come up with anything specific that I needed to do once I returned home.

I didn’t have a purpose anymore, not without Ratha. Shaking my head, I dispelled those thoughts from my mind.

Gripping my spear tighter, I continued walking, and shortly arrived back at the village. No one bothered to look at me, much less stop me as I passed through, going straight for my den. Once inside, I started going through my tools and other belongings, grabbing necessities, and things that would be easy enough to carry.

As much as I wanted to bring crafting materials and blankets, it would be a hassle to carry so much stuff out of here.

.

I strapped a bow and quiver to my back, gathering a few small tools such as threading needles, medicine, a small bag of salt–

“Elazar!” a familiar voice called out behind me. I glanced over my shoulder at the entrance, spotting Roku coming over. “You did not return last night? Did you find something?”

Find something?

My face heated as I realized he meant the missing tribesman I’d initially gone out searching for. I hadn’t thought of him at all since I’d stumbled upon Kora.

Hesitant to answer, I continued packing up a few more supplies, avoiding his gaze. “I did not find anything regarding Paku’s brother.”

Roku tilted his head to the side, watching as I gathered some things around my den. “Then what did you find? Are you going back out there?”

Pausing momentarily, I tried to come up with some kind of excuse. “It is hard to explain right now. I’ll fill you in another time. For now, I’m taking some things and leaving for a few days. I’ll return soon.”

Strapping my carrying sack to my back, I moved past Roku and out of my den.

He followed quickly. “I assume you find some good prey to hunt then? Do not get yourself killed out there!”

I nodded and rushed out of the village, making my way back to the healing pool.

.

With the supplies I had, I’d be able to make her new furs, and hunt larger prey in order to better feed her. I could also show her how to preserve meat, hunt for fish and speak more of our language.

The thought of communicating more with her brought forth a sense of excitement in me, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling a little bit.

.

With this new surge of energy, I quickly made my way up-river and back to the healing pool.

“Kora!”

I slowed down in my approach, pushing past the overgrown foliage towards the pool.

“Kora!”

Coming out of the treeline, I glanced around the area, expecting to find the small human resting on the ground. My tail dropped as I cast a longer look around.

The pool was empty, the furs and supplies were gone and the human female was nowhere to be found.

.