Nicotine

I was drunk and dancing. My mind was a blur, and the club was spinning.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, guiding me off the dance floor. I snorted in annoyance. It was Alex.

“I really think you need some air, Bella,” he said, handing me my coat and bag when we were in the elevator.

“No I don’t,” I muttered, but still went with him.

When we were outside, I picked up Erik’s cigarettes from my bag and lit one. I didn’t want to leave, but I wanted a smoke.

“Started smoking?” Alex asked with a chuckle.

He took the package from me and lit one for himself.

I was shivering. It was really cold outside.

I suddenly started feeling really nauseous and covered my mouth.

“You’ve had too much to drink, Bella. It needs to get out,” Alex pointed out.

He was right, of course. I really couldn’t hold it in.

I hurried across the street. I barely made it behind the bushes before I threw up.

Alex was behind me and held my hair up.

“This reminds me of when I was younger. We used to get too drunk all the time,” he said, sounding very amused.

“This is horrible,” I said with a weak voice before I threw up again.

Half an hour later, we were sitting in a park nearby. Alex had gotten me water and a coffee from a convenience store.

“I’m really sorry to ruin your night,” I apologized.

“It’s not ruined. I saw my ex in there and wanted to get out anyway,” Alex admitted.

“I heard from Ellie you have a daughter. Who’s the mother?” I asked. I hadn’t dared to ask him before now.

“Of course she told you,” he sighed.

“The ex that I wanted to escape. My daughter is a lycan hybrid. As I’m sure you know, her existence is illegal. Not too many years ago, she would have been hunted. Might still,” Alex said with a worried voice.

I looked at him with big eyes.

“They know at the headquarter?” I asked, surprised.

Alex nodded.

“When the council found out, I immediately got transferred from the first squad to the X-squad. I was given the choice to work in the X-squad and do everything they ask of me, or…” he said bitterly.

“Or what?” I asked, dreading his reply.

“They would take, possibly kill, my daughter,” he answered.

“Would the council really kill a child?” I asked, shocked.

“You know our history,” Alex reminded me.

“And you broke up with her mother for the council?” I guessed.

Now Alex laughed.

“No, I hate that lycan bitch! A word of advice, Bella, stay away from the wolves. They can get a bit possessive,” he said.

That was the first time I had heard Alex talk badly about anyone. Ellie had mentioned before, though, that Alex didn’t like lycans.

I got really curious about what had happened. His tone had made it clear, though. He didn’t want to talk about her.

My phone buzzed while Alex was walking me home. It was Erik. He asked if I wanted to hang out.

Many weeks had passed since Anna’s lecture about avoiding spellcasters. I had ignored her warning and met with Erik a few times since.

I answered him honestly. I told him that I was feeling like shit, and was on my way home.

Alex saw who I was texting and sighed.

“What?” I asked.

“Don’t fall in love, Bella. It’s much more trouble than it’s worth,” he said.

Of course he knew how much I’d met with Erik lately.

“Worry about yourself!” I snorted.

Alex chuckled.

“We can’t help but worry about you, kitten,” he said.

Ever since I’d told Ellie about how I found out about Marcus, both of them had acted a little strange, like they didn’t approve but hadn’t said so straight out.

I still hadn’t told Louisa. She seemed to have forgotten about the talk she wanted to have with me, after I’d gotten hurt and all.

Ellie had tried to persuade me to remind her, since she thought that I should, but I didn’t want to. I was afraid she’d tell me I shouldn’t see him, and I really wanted to.

***

Erik still hadn’t answered my text when I got home. I lay down on my couch and turned the TV on, while glancing at my phone.

I couldn’t get those glistening eyes and black curls out of my mind. Was Alex right to worry? Was I really falling in love?

I suddenly felt a surge of arcane energy, and before I could react, someone nudged my shoulder. I got so scared, I screamed out and fell off the couch.

Erik laughed at me.

“You still have something of mine. That’s how I was able to teleport in here,” he said, as if he had read my mind.

“I have something for you that will make you feel better,” he said, handing me a vial filled with a red substance.

“Do I really dare to drink this?” I asked suspiciously. I wasn’t sure I felt up for any strange potions.

“It will cleanse your body and make you sober up,” Erik answered.

I glanced at the vial in doubt, aware of my own stupidity as I drank the substance.

“You probably should have drunk it in the bathroom,” Erik said.

Dread hit me at his suggestion. I got off the couch and moved toward the bathroom.

My body tingled in a weird way as I walked. Then suddenly, I felt my stomach knot, and I was hit with severe nausea. I threw up again…

Luckily, I had made it to the toilet.

It looked all weird and black. I leaned against the bathroom wall, feeling embarrassed.

I hadn’t wanted Erik to see me in this state. Now he stood in the doorway, looking at me.

“Well? Feeling better?” he asked.

I was. I was feeling great, actually. Lighter than usual.

“It didn’t just clear you from alcohol. It cleansed you from other bad things too,” Erik explained, then suddenly smirked mischievously at me.

“Don’t smoke, Bella.”

I sighed and shook my head. He’d tricked me.

He could have given me another potion to help me sober up.

“I should take a shower. I’m dirty,” I said, feeling embarrassed about my state.

I still smelled of alcohol, and my makeup was ruined.

“Want help?” he asked with a wink.

“You could get me a towel,” I said, still blushing.

“You are missing out!” Erik called while he went to find me a towel.

He let me shower in peace.

A towel was hung by the shower when I got out. I wrapped myself in it and went out.

Erik was watching TV.

“What are you watching?” I asked.

“Someone really beautiful and hot,” he answered, looking at me with hungry eyes.

I got turned on instantly.

“Turn it off!” I commanded, hinting at the TV.

As soon as it was off, I climbed on top of his lap, facing him, and kissed him. He pulled my towel off and started to caress my body while I drew my fingers through his hair.

I let out a moan of pleasure between kisses. Erik was quick to throw me on my back, on the couch.

I was trembling with anticipation while he took his own clothes off. I wanted him so badly.

I had already grown addicted to the sweet ecstasy that was his touch. More so than cigarettes ever could.

***

I woke from the doorbell. Who could it be so early on a Saturday?

I grabbed my dressing gown and went to check. It was my parents…fuck…

I opened the door slightly. “Could you wait while I get dressed?” I asked, trying to sound as tired as I’d felt before I saw them.

“We will wait, in the living room,” my father said, barging in.

I panicked and hurried to pick the clothes up in the living room while my parents took their shoes off. Erik was awake in my bed.

I made a sign to be quiet. “No magic, my parents are here. They are both umbra,” I whispered.

Erik just looked amused and started getting dressed. I quickly threw on a purple silk blouse, black stockings, and a black tight skirt with gold buttons.

Then I fixed my hair real quick and put on some light makeup before I went back out to my parents.

“So you like living alone?” my father asked.

My mother looked at me with a smirk. I watched as she carefully kicked one of Erik’s socks under the couch. She had my back.

“Yes, I do, actually. Do you want coffee?” I asked.

Mother suggested we sit in the kitchen, since it was a bit chilly outside. We sat and talked for a bit about how it was going for me at work.

I talked about the missions I’d been on with the first and second squad.

“So, do you smoke, or have you had a guest over that smokes?” my mother asked when my father was in the bathroom.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“There are cigarettes out on the table on your balcony. You should go hide them before your father sees them,” my mother suggested, smirking at me again.

I immediately went out to hide the cigarettes and the jar acting as an ashtray. My mother was right, of course.

When my father came back from the bathroom, he wanted to have a look around. Erik had texted me that he had successfully snuck out while we were drinking coffee.

“I’m coming over again tomorrow, dear. We can clean and cook something together. I think you still need to learn,” my mother said when they were leaving.

I felt thankful for that. I had noticed the dust gathering on the furniture.

***

I had just ordered sushi for lunch when I got a text from Louisa asking me to come urgently to the headquarters. I wondered what that was about.

She had to wait until the afternoon. I wasn’t going to abandon my lunch.