Fifteen - Ella

When Kyle knocked on my bedroom door early on the morning we were supposed to leave it was probably stupid that I had hoped he was waking me up for more than just to tell me we were leaving in half an hour. He'd been grinning when he walked into my room, shutting the door behind him and, come on, what else was I supposed to think. But all he did was tell me we were getting ready to leave and then walk back out. And I was a lot more disappointed by that than I should have been. It was just sex. But it was really good sex - at least, I thought it was. But he hadn't said anything, or made any move in the last couple days. It was stupid anyway, I knew that, to be thinking about him in that way at all when such huge things were happening.

When I got down stairs, I understood why he'd been smiling and acting excited when he woke me up. We had a truck. A mother-freaking mode of transportation that was not the feet attached to our legs. I was in heaven. I turned from the truck to Kyle, who stood a few feet away, tossing the keys up and catching them. His lips still curved into a smile, he winked. He surprised me with a truck. There was a chance I was in love. Normally my love wouldn't be so easily bought - or for sale at all - but after the way my muscles rebelled from the first few days of walking, my love could totally be bought for a vehicle. It helped that he was really darn cute.

"Why don't we have a truck?" Squirrel complained, looking longingly at the old pick-up sitting in the drive.

"We have a day long walk," Atlas pointed out rolling his eyes. "We'll make it without a truck."

"Yeah but it would be quicker," she pointed out, pouting.

Walking away from her Atlas pulled me into a hug as though we were old friends parting ways, not near perfect strangers.

"Stay safe, Mouse."

Atlas, who was apparently the unofficial name-granter of their little group, had taken to calling me that in the few days we'd known each other. It didn't seem like there was any point in arguing with the kid.

"Yeah, you too."

They all said their goodbyes to everyone and Kyle reminded them of the directions one last time before they hit the road. All of our stuff was tossed into the bed of the truck and then they all piled in behind it. I moved to climb into the bed, but Kyle stopped me. Calling my name, he nodded toward the cab. "You're riding shotgun."

Switching directions, I walked around to the passenger side and climbed into the cab of the truck. It rocked back and forth as they all shifted, getting comfortable in the back and Kyle climbed in on the drivers side. The truck was slow to start, the engine screeching a couple times and Kyle flashed a nervous smile while I'm sure all of sent silent prayers that the truck wasn't giving out before we could even pull away from the inn. Another try and the engine turned over.

A couple hours on the road and it was official, I was the only one of us scared. At least visibly. Joel and Miles sat with Hunter and Zero in the bed of the truck, all of them laughing and carrying on conversation. Well, three of them doing just that. Zero was quiet, pensive maybe but I didn't think she was scared. I didn't think she was capable of experiencing fear. It was like we were driving around for the hell of it and not like we were passing zombies and cars filled with dead people. But we were. And we were going slow enough at times that one of them had to turn and kill a zombie that was reaching over to take bite out of one of them. It didn't phase a single one of them, I don't think they even paused the conversation to kill the occasional zombie.

I shouldn't have felt like less for being scared. That was the normal reaction to dead people coming back to life and eat living people. But I did. I wanted to be laughing and joking. Hell, I would have even taken being excited to kill zombies in the twisted way Zero was. Instead I was staring out the window at everything we cruised by in slow pace. Kyle's attempts at conversation kept falling flat which was less about his conversational skills - those were just fine - and more about my inability to focus on anything but the road in front of us. I didn't want any surprises. I didn't know if Kyle was driving slowly because the truck simply couldn't go faster or if it was for some other reason, but we didn't get much over twenty. I was tense. My back was straight as a board and my jaw was tight as we passed through destruction. Destruction that I could have prevented. Dead bodies that could have been avoided if I had been... what? Willing to stand up my father? Smarter? Not so damned naive.

I jolted when Kyle's hand landed on my thigh, just above my knee. Pulling my gaze from the window I had been staring through, I looked to the left to see his eyes on me instead of the road and filled with concern. I waited.

"I said your name," he started carefully. "Twice."

I forced a dry laugh, but honestly, who was I trying to fool? Clearing my throat, I apologized. "I didn't hear."

Kyle glanced at the road just long enough to make sure he wasn't going to hit a zombie or deer or something and then his eyes were back on me, his eyebrows pulled together so that his forehead was wrinkled in concern.

"You doing okay?"

Swallowing the frog in my throat that begged me to scream otherwise, I nodded my head. "Yeah. Totally ready for this."

It was a lie. A big fat lie. One that I'm sure he saw straight through because he squeezed my leg and tried to reassure me, but I didn't hear the words because what was outside the windshield took over all of my senses. Like a bad wreck, I couldn't seem to pull my eyes away, though it's all I wanted to do. My stomach churned and even the air was suddenly sour to the taste.

"Wh-what is that?" The words were barely loud enough to hear - a choked whisper, really - but Kyle must have followed my gaze because about two seconds later he hit the brakes. Words for what we were looking at weren't coming to mind, I couldn't say it, I couldn't even think it. Maybe I was in shock. The people in the bed fell over each other and banged into the back of the cab, surprised by the sudden stop. Vaguely, I was aware of their confused curses toward the driver but I didn't really hear them. Kyle recovered first.

"Fuck," Kyle's muttered curse filled the cab. His hand tightened on my leg, but not in a way that was meant to reassure me didn't think. It was more like he was scared. And that was... well, it was about the worst thing I could imagine. Kyle seemed fearless, all of them did.

He didn't give an explanation before his hand lifted from my leg, taking with it any and all comfort. Kyle's hand grips onto the gear and he shifted the truck into reverse at the same time he punched the gas and we flew backwards down the road moving quicker than we had most of the day. We didn't drive for long before he found somewhere to park, mixing our truck in with a group of other cars that had been abandoned on the side of the road, Kyle shut off the engine.

"Ella?" I was still looking in the direction we'd just left, as if something were going to pop out at me. The image was burned to my brain and I didn't think I'd ever sleep again. His fingers touched my jaw, coaxing me to face him. I was paralyzed. I couldn't feel any part of my body. Was this what had become of the world? All that was left. All the good dead. Hand cupping my cheek, Kyle physically turned me to face him. His thumb wiped my cheeks dry of tears I hadn't even realized had fallen.

"Who would do that?" My voice was shaky and weak.My eyes were wide and I didn't think I could even blink them. Normal people wouldn't do that. Decent people wouldn't crucify zombies. Yet someone had. Four of them. Large wooden crosses lining either side of the road. Ropes secured the zombies in place around their arms and waist but that didn't stop their heads from moving. Side to side, jaws opening and closing, hungry for flesh they'll never get. But that wasn't the worst of it. Their entrails were spilling out of them and their legs were gone, or almost gone. Ripped from their bodies. They had been hung just low enough that other zombies had ripped their limbs from their torsos. Despite the fact that they were dismembered and had organs hanging from their limp bodies, they were all still alive... as alive as a zombie could be.

I brought my hand to cover my mouth and force the bile down from my throat.

"What's up?" Miles was at Kyle's window first, dragging his attention away from me, from answering my question. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted it answered.

"We may have a problem." I hated how casual he sounded. Like seeing something like that was as big a deal as thinking you picked up a nail in your tire. At the same time it was reassuring that he was so clam. His thumb rubbed circles on my leg. It felt like I silent promise that this was okay. I focused on that - the motion of his hand and tried to yoga breathe my way out of panic. "You been out this way before?" He asked Hunter and Zero, who had joined in gathering around the open window. Both denied ever being this close to Washington, they came up a different route further west of here. When Kyle explained what they'd missed, everyone grew tense.

I was pretty sure that seeing dismembered, disemboweled zombies tied to crosses wasn't something any of us had seen before. They all seemed equal parts surprised and disgusted by the quick description Kyle rattled off.

"We expected this, right?"Joel said after taking a deep breath.

"Yeah," Miles added. "We weren't getting this close to a major city without running into someone."

What? "What?" I blurted out, unable to keep quiet. Four pairs of eyes locked onto me and I had my answer. I was just along for the ride here, I knew that. But at some point they had all sat down and talked about this trip and no one had told me that dead people weren't the only things I would have to be afraid of.

Kyle turned from the group to me. "Remember I told you the further we get from base the shadier people get?" Reluctantly, I nodded. "We're far enough from the base." The words hit me like a punch to gut, knocking all the air from my lungs. That... that was not was imagined when he said shadier. I expected... well, I'm not really sure what I expected but whoever would do something like that wasn't shady. They were evil.

Miles jumped in when Kyle didn't offer more information up. "Cities were evacuated, Ella. Abandoned pretty damn quickly, so they have a lot of shit still. Pharmacies are still full of meds and shit. Grocery stores... the works. All of it, left behind. Bigger cities haven't been picked over like most places, they're packed full of stuff."

He didn't finish explaining, but he didn't have to. I got the message. If survivors knew the cities were gold mines and they didn't want to share, or were only willing to share for a price... they would defend what they considered to be theirs. I doubted they'd listen to a reasonable explanation and let us through. I doubted they were reasonable at all.

And then a thought filled my mind and once it was there, it consumed me completely. My hands started to shake and any form of deep, calming breathes were long forgotten.

"Those..." I breathed out, barely able to form words. "Th-they were alive."

"What's that?" Kyle asked, unable to make out my mumbled mess of words.

I met his eyes and repeated myself. "They didn't string up zombies." A thick silence hung between us. "Did they?"

Kyle held my gaze for a beat. One of them said his name and he dragged his eyes away from mine, rejoining the conversation as I sat alone in my thoughts.

This wasn't the revelation for everyone else that it was for me. They all got it. But until that moment I hadn't even considered it. That they would hang living, breathing humans. Humans who are just trying to survive. It didn't even cross my mind that the things tied to those crosses were alive when they were put there. That they were alive when monsters tore into their flesh and ripped off their limbs. I choked back vomit. How long could a person stay alive up there? How much pain did they experience before the life finally faded from their eyes? Of course they hadn't strung up zombies like that. It was silly to even consider it. People. They were people.

And someone had done that to them.

I wanted to turn around. My vote was very quickly that we should forget a stupid chance for a cure and hightail it the hell out of here.

I didn't think... But those people, whoever had done that, they weren't going to politely ask us to turn around as we got closer. What if we had run into those people instead of what they'd done? Would be hanging from chains too?

They should have told me —warned me that this was a real possibility. So that I could have... could have...what? Added one more thing to my list of reasons to join Atlas and the other girls in heading back to the church instead of continue on what was looking more and more like a suicide mission? Yeah, it was probably good thing they had kept it from me. Or at least I understood their intentions.

"Ella, we have to go."

"Go?" Like back to the inn? Back to the church? Back to Hudson? I bobbed my head rapidly. We needed to go. We needed to get as far away from people who would do that as we could.

But then Kyle pushed his door open. He was getting out of the truck.

"Wait." I stopped him. "Go where?"

"We'll have to walk the rest of the way." I must have made some expression because he leaned back into the truck, so close that his face was only inches from mine, blue eyes piercing mine. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you."

I believed him. I believed he would try, at least.

And I didn't have any other choice. I schooled my expression, not wanting anyone to know how much I wanted to run away and climbed out of the truck. Walking around the front of the truck, I met up with everyone else. They all eyed me like they were concerned I might pass out. Honestly, I thought I might too. I reached for my bag that someone had grabbed out of the bed of the truck for me, but Hunter beat me to it. He slung it over his shoulder and then loosened the straps so that they would fit his larger frame more comfortably.

"I'll switch you," he said with a wink and gestured to the much more regularly sized back pack by his feet.

"My hero," I said only half-joking and with a forced smile that I don't think anyone bought considering the quiver to my voice. Giving up on smiling all together, I picked up the bag that didn't weigh more than ten pounds. "So what do we do?" I asked no one in particular.

"Stay off the road, keep our eyes open," Joel said. "I'll run forward—"

"Is that a good idea?" I interrupted and everyone turned their attention to me, surprised. I didn't know anything about this sort of thing. I was the only one who hadn't ever been out here, dealing with all of this. To everyone, that probably meant I should have kept my mouth shut and let them do what they do. But the idea of splitting up made a horrible feeling settle in my gut.

The awful image of Joel strung to the posts flashed in my mind and I wanted, more than anything to beg him not to go ahead. Together, I thought, maybe we'd have a fighting chance. Apart, though...

Joel flashed what could only be considered a patronizing smile before continuing on as if I had never said anything at all. "I'll run forward with Zero and make sure we're clear. Anything suspicious, we avoid for as long as we can. That up there was just a warning, I doubt they have anyone watching for people this far out."

Out of the corner of my eye I glanced at Hunter expecting to see some sort of worry, but he nodded along. Apparently he wasn't at all concerned about Zero being separated from him. Or being tied to a cross. Everyone was good with this plan except me. But I was the only one who had no idea what I was talking about; my opinion didn't count for much. I pursed my lips together and bit my tongue while they finalized exactly what the plan was.

Hunter pulled Zero toward him and lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her passionately enough to make me blush and avert my gaze away from them. "Please remember that you're just scouting," he whispered to her and I thought, despite his blank expression that he was a little nervous about her breaking away. "Nothing stupid, Sweetheart."

"No death wishes today," she told him.

Joel did that handshake-half-hug thing that men do with each of the guys and nodded once in my direction before he and Zero set off in a jog ahead of us. Miles lead the way, off the road in the same direction Zero and Joel had gone and the rest of us followed.

"We've run into to shitty people before," Hunter said, keeping his voice low. "Made it out every time. Their bark is usually worse than their bite. Never well organized, lots of holes to slip through."

"People who crucified living beings and let the dead tear into them?"

His step faltered. "No," he answered honestly.

"It's a scare tactic, Ella," Miles said quickly. "They probably just found a few zoms, messed them up and hung them so anyone passing through would be scared away."

I wanted to believe that more than anything. It made sense, sort of. It was plausible.

Kyle's pursed lips told me otherwise. My steps slowed - muscles rebelling against what my brain knew was wrong.

"Odds are they don't keep close watch. That little stunt would have most people turning away, so I'd bet my left arm we'll be fine for the next ten miles or so," Kyle finally said and he sounded like he believed it. I forced my feet to keeping moving, one in front of the other. I just had to make it the next few miles. I focused on that as we walked.

AN - Sooooooo... what'd y'all think???? I've been excited/nervous to post this one since the idea first formulated!! Hope you enjoyed! Look for more on Friday :]]