TwentyEight - Kyle

It didn't take long to figure out that Ella's lack of personal effects at Hudson wasn't just at Hudson. The house wasn't well lit, but it was nothing like the home I'd grown up in. Family pictures didn't line the walls and end tables. There weren't embarrassing school pictures or Christmas cards pinned to the fridge under tacky magnets they'd picked up on different vacations. It was homey enough, but in the way that a model home was. Nice furniture, a couple wall hangings and throw pillows, but no personalization.

I found it odd that such a warm, caring person had so little in the way of personal effects. I couldn't help but want to get up to her room and see if it were any different than the rest of the museum-like house.

Based on the house and what I knew about the girl on paper, I would have expected someone with few social skills and even fewer emotions. But that's not what I got. Not even close.

Damn, I'd been so ready to... I don't know. Scream it out. I hadn't been ready for her to admit she was wrong. But she'd done that, not in so many words, but I knew. It made it difficult to stay mad when she wasn't trying to defend all her decisions. And then she told me what'd she'd done. That she'd killed someone. I guess when we came across the bodies, I should have known, but we'd all assumed Zero took care of it.

Ella finally pulled away and when her eyes met mine, she looked tormented.

I never wanted her to know what it was to take a life. Ella was good and innocent, even if she didn't know it. She was a little naive, which was both and endearing and frustrating. She blamed herself for this horrible thing but couldn't fathom that people could be wholly evil. She was heartbroken and betrayed when she discovered that her father wasn't who she'd thought him to be.

I didn't want her to be tainted by the realization that sometimes you have to kill to live.

I wanted to promise her that the knowledge of what she'd done would get easier with time. That the weight would lessen. For some people it did, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her it would because I didn't think that for Ella it would ever get easier. She was going to be someone who thought about the life she took - justified, or not - every single day.

Looking up at me, Ella stared at me. I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't for her perfect lips to stretch into a shy grin. I wasn't sure how she could possibly feel shy around me, but I was intrigued.

"What?" I asked when she didn't speak. Just continued to look at me like a kid on Christmas.

"You really like me, huh?"

That... caught me off guard. If anyone asked, I would deny, deny, deny that shit, but I blushed. Like a chick. Thank God no one witnessed it. I didn't expect her to call me out like that and it took me by surprise.

I rubs the back of my neck with one hand, stalling.

"That a problem?" No sense in denying it. Besides, she was damn hard to deny. And when her smile grew and her eyes looked less haunted, sparkling in the candlelight, I was glad I didn't try.

"No," she whispered. "Are you still mad at me?

I nodded. I was on a roll with the honesty tonight and truth be told, I was still pretty pissed.

"That gonna stop you from kissing me?"

My answer was to lower my lips to hers. Her hands braced on my arms as our lips brushed once, twice and then pressed together. I pulled away before the kiss could deepen and Ella let out a frustrated little growl that had me seriously questioning my decision.

But she was traumatized and hurting and her head was all kinds of fucked up at the moment, and call me crazy, but I'd rather not continue this pattern of ours. I knew I wanted Ella. And I knew she thought she wanted me. What I didn't know was if she really wanted me or wanted to forget the million things running through her mind. I wasn't sure she knew for sure.

When she had a clear mind I would do whatever she wanted me to... as long as I was still around.

It was stupid, getting attached. Wanting to wait for a right moment, because Ella and I would never have a right moment. She desired the safety of the base. She needed to help undo what she'd contributed to. And I wasn't going to stick around longer than it took to get new orders.

Even knowing all that, I didn't want to be her escape.

"We should get back in there. Gotta plan our exit strategy."

"Sure," she said reluctantly.

I started to walk away but Ella grabbed onto the crook of my elbow and pulled me back. She was warring with herself over something. She dragged me back into the kitchen, as far from the living room as we could get. I waited, the question clear on my face.

"I have something I need to tell you." She bit down on her bottom lip and looked at me with wide eyes. "But I really need you to not freak out."

"Ella?"

"Promise."

"Alright, I promise."

She nodded but didn't spill whatever secret she felt the need to divulge. Her right hand was tugging nervously on her left fingers and she kept glancing toward the living. Finally she exhaled.

"People react differently to different things, you know? Like, you could get the chicken pox and barely have a fever and only a few bumps and I could get it and be covered in pox and out for more than a week. Or... the flu! That's a better one. We could both be exposed to the flu and I not get it at all and you come down with a horrible sickness that puts you out of commission for days. I mean some people die of the flu and others barely get a fever. You know?" I didn't. I mean, I understood the words, but I had no idea what she was getting at. She was rambling, which was kind of cute and also kind of worrisome. "Some people are immune to things is what I'm saying. So it's not out of the realm of possibilities that people would exist who are immune to the zombie virus. I mean, it stands to reason that there would definitely be people who could survive it. Billions of people exposed over the whole world, say even a quarter of one percent were immune, that'd still be millions of people. It wouldn't be totally improbable that one of us, here, now, could be immune. It's not something we've really tested for..." She paused for the first time to inhale and then in barest whisper said, "Zero was bitten."

"What?"

"Lower your voice," she whispered fiercely. "She thinks she's immune and I don't think it's crazy. It's been hours and she's not feeling well, but that's it. She could have some symptoms but survive it still if her body is strong enough to fight it off. She hasn't been getting worse so there's a chance the symptoms will just disappear."

It took me a minute to find my voice, to even think clearly.

"Why the hell does she think she's immune?"

"She thinks she was bit before."

"Thinks?"

"Yeah. Her memory, remember? It's foggy, she's not sure if it's a memory or something she made up. But she doesn't want Hunter to know."

Ah. Shit.

Hunter needed to know. He had to know. What the hell did Zero think she was going to do? Just die or... not without telling everyone. She could turn in the middle of the night and kill us all, or at least Hunter, while we were sleeping.

"You were right. I shouldn't have tried to come alone. If you'd been with us... I wouldn't have had to... and Zero wouldn't have...I really am sorry."

"Zero made her own choices, Ella. There are no guarantees either way, but you succeeded, right? You got what we came for and now we just have to get back to base." I wasn't going to use the moment to dish out an I told you so when she felt bad enough, already. And it wasn't her fault. Yeah, I believed it wouldn't have happened if we'd been with them, but unless Ella pushed the zombie at Zero, it wasn't her fault. "Come on." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Miles and Joel have been worried about you too."

"They have?"

I smiled, aiming to lighten the mood a little. I had no idea what to do with the information about Zero. I felt like a dick for even considering keeping it from Hunter, but I'd given my word to Ella. If she was getting sicker, Zero wouldn't be able to hide it much longer. I rationalized that they deserved for the evening to go untainted. If it was one of their last, there was no reason to spoil it with bad news.

Miles spotted Ella first and shot his hands up into the air, yelling, "Don't shoot!"

Ella hid an embarassed smile, looking away.

"Get over here," he said with a wide grin and patted the space on the couch between him and Joel. Reluctantly, I let Ella out from under my arm and walked over, sitting between the two guys. Miles threw his arm around her, pulling her in for a hug and Joel shifted on the couch so that he was facing her.

"Remind me to give you some pointers," Joel said smirking. "Next time, you won't miss."

Ella muffled a laugh as Miles reached his arm, jostling her around as he tried to whack Joel.

"I'm glad I missed," she said.

"Yep," Miles said tugging her closer. "I knew you couldn't live without me."

"I'd be lost," she said sarcastically. "Where're Zero and Hunter?"

"They went up stairs get some shut eye."

"So this is it?" Joel nodded toward the coffee table where a small pouch sat.

"That's it."

With the acknowledgment, Ella relaxed in a way that I hadn't seen from her. It was like I could actually see some of the guilt that had been weighing her down ease off. He leaned forward and grabbed the small bag carelessly. Ella's eyes went wide like she wanted to grab it from him and wrap the entire thing in bubble wrap. Her hands to clenched into tight fists as Joel thoughtlessly twirled it in his hands. Finally she leaned forward and yanked it from it, gentle handling it as she set back on the table.

"Maybe don't touch it," she said.

"You don't trust me?"

"That bag holds the fate of humanity, Joel. It's not a basketball to toss around." Her voice was high and she was little frigid about it which made the Joel laugh as she scolded him.

"What's this?" Miles asked picking up a journal. "Your diary?" He wiggled his eyebrows. "Do I get to read the inner workings of Ella's mind."

She jabbed him in the ribs softly. "My diary would be pretty boring. But no, that's Dr. Fairchild's journal. I thought it might- I thought I'd look through it."

Miles shut up and set the book back down on the table. Couldn't really make fun of her for wanting to understand and make sense of what her father was going through in his last days.

"We should get out of here pretty quickly," he said. "Try to sleep through the day and leave when it's dark again."

"You two get some sleep. We'll keep watch and wake you in a few hours."

I almost refused their offer, except Ella stood from the couch and walked over to me, lacing her fingers through mine and I was helpless to refuse. I followed Ella upstairs she stopped and pointed out a bathroom, even though the water wasn't running.

"There's a guest room. If you want."

"Is that what you want?"

Slowly, her head shook from side to side. "I know you're still mad. And I'm tired and so are you. I'm not hitting on you. I'm just," she barely breathed out the next words, "I'm scared to close my eyes."

And she felt safer with me. Unafraid. She had said I made her feel unafraid.

We walked into her room, which was surreal, and she crossed to the bed, scooting over to the opposite end to leave room for me. When I crawled in next to her, Ella didn't hesitate to wiggle close into my side as my arm wrapped around her.

"Sleep. I'll keep you safe."

She fell asleep quickly after that and at some point, I don't know when, I joined her.

Ella tossed and turned in her sleep, making what little was left of night restless for both of us. And shortly before the sun came, up, just as I was about to give up on sleeping at all, the door to the bedroom swung open with enough force that I was sure the doorknob put a whole in the wall. Next to me, Ella jolted, gasping at the crashing sound. We both jolted upright in the bed, our eyes squinting to make out the dark, furious figure in the door way.

"You better start fucking talking!"