FortyNine - Ella

Hunter returned not long after that. He hadn't seen anything but set up some traps so we would hopefully have rabbit or some other tiny forest creature for breakfast. Rabbit.

I was really, really trying to be okay with all of this. But I hadn't really thought about food. The whole trip we'd had canned food and protein bars or MREs. I'd never eaten a rabbit before and at the moment, on a still satisfied stomached - I'd gotten to eat some lunch and never did well with food under stress - it didn't sound appetizing. That didn't mean I wouldn't be joining in the rodent-eating festivities in the morning when I woke up hungry.

Really, I should just be grateful no one was asking me to kill it. Or skin it. God, I really hoped they wouldn't ask me to skin it.

When the fire was smothered out, everyone split off, not separating too far, just enough to find a somewhat comfortable spot to sleep. I started to move, thinking that Kyle would be more comfortable if he had room to lie down rather than sit in a propped up position, but his hand flexed, gripping my shoulder.

"Where're you goin'?"

"You should be asleep."

He sighed. "Can't sleep."

I frowned and shifted to better look at him. I couldn't make out his expression well enough, but I knew he had to be in pain if he couldn't sleep.

"You can have something stronger if the Motrin isn't cutting it."

Kyle had been on a steady diet of Motrin for the pain, not that it was doing a whole hell of a lot, but he needed to stay aware and anything that might have actually helped would have made him... not aware. Now that he could sleep though, I didn't see any harm. Stubbornly, the boy shook his head.

"Something could happen."

"Then I'll protect you." My lips split into a smile. "I'm not that helpless girl you met."

I was still kind of helpless in a lot of ways, but I could kill a zombie now. Apparently I could kill people too.

I dug through my backpack and found the bottle of pills I'd swiped from the clinic. I forced one into his hand along with a bottle of water. Kyle looked at the pill for a second like it was an enemy and I rolled my eyes.

"Taking it doesn't make you a pussy," I said to him in words I thought would get through and a soft chuckle rumbled through his chest. Probably at how awkward that word sounded coming out of my mouth. "It just means you'll be able to get rest and heal." Finally he popped the pill into his mouth and took a swig of the water. I looked away to hide the victory smile on my lips.

"Hey," he whispered catching my attention. My head whipped back toward Kyle who leaned down capturing my lips with his own. The desperate intensity of our last kiss, when he showed up in his room on the verge of passing out and scared I was dead, was replaced by something sweeter. His lips pressed down softly onto mine, but there was nothing chaste about it when his tongue swept across my lips, dipping into my mouth.

Kyle's hand came up to my face, cupping my cheek with his palm as his fingers combed into my hair. His tongue stroked mine and slid along the roof of my mouth. His teeth nipped gently at my bottom lip as he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine, our lips a feathers width apart, as we breathed each other in. I straightened, just the slightest, it didn't take much for our lips to meet again.

When we pulled apart, our quiet breaths were ragged.

"I meant it," he said, our lips brushing with every whispered word.

"Hm?"

Kyle pulled back, just the slightest so that I could see the moonlight reflecting off his eyes.

"I love you," he said in a breath and then gave a slight shake of his head. "I'm in love with you."

I licked my lips and rubbed them together to hide a smile. There was something amazing about hearing those words leave his lips. He may have said them before, but slurred and sloppy they didn't have the same cart-wheel-inducing effect on my heart. This felt real. And I felt like I was on cloud nine.

But it felt fragile. Too fragile to trust.

Everything had gone so insane. He'd watched his best friend die in front of him.

"The last few days..."

"Have nothing to do with those words." He paused. "Okay, they have a little to do with it, but not what you think. It's not grief talking. It's not drugs or pain. We haven't gotten to know each other in a normal way, under normal circumstances. There's been a lot of awful shit but it doesn't change this." He gestured between us, not breaking away from my eyes. "Baby, I knew you would be the death and life of me when we met."

"You pushed me away," I said.

Leaned leaned back down until his forehead rested against mine and quickly, softly kissed me. "I am a stupid man. We can't all be so smart." His lips smiled against mine. "I love you, Ella."

"I—"

His lips captured mine before I could get the words out of my own lips. His lips moved against mine slow, sensual... like he told me and was now committed to proving his words with just this kiss. My insides all melted to into a trembling puddle. The boy knew how to kiss. I parted my lips as he deepened the kiss and wanting, needing more I shifted clos—Kyle hissed in pain.

"Oh crap," I pulled away. "Did I?"

"I'm okay," he said through what sounded like gritted teeth. "It was my fault."

With the gunshot wound effectively ruining the moment, I snuggled down on his chest and closed my eyes content to fall asleep.

When I opened my eyes Hunter and Joel were sitting around a the fire, once again burning. I shifted away from Kyle's still sleeping chest, stretching as I let out a quiet yawn. I looked back at him, a grin overtaking my lips as I remembered last night.

Pulling my gaze away from him, I crawled over toward the fire, the movement catching the attention of the boys around the fire. They each nodded in greeting and I wondered if they were too tired to even talk.

"Have you been up all night?" I asked. "You can get some sleep if you need it."

Hunter shook his head. "Just got up early. You hungry?" He gestured to the fire where I hadn't noticed meat wrapped carefully around some sticks ka-bob style.

"What is it?" I couldn't help but ask even as I nodded my head. I was hungry.

Hunter cracked a smile and I got the feeling he was laughing at me.

"Don't worry sweetheart," he said. "Tastes like chicken."

Taking the meat, I ripped off a piece and hesitated before popping it in my mouth. For a second I didn't chew, not sure what flavor to expect, but when either Hunter or Joel snorted back a laugh at me I manned up and ate it. It didn't taste like chicken. Or maybe it did a little, but the texture was all wrong. But it wasn't horrible and it wasn't like I could really tell what it used to be. I was just looking at cooked meat. I ate the rest of what on that ka-bob, having already counted that there was more than enough for everyone.

"Mm, that smells good," Atlas said, joining us. He didn't hesitate in grabbing some of what I assumed was rabbit from the fire. Still chewing, he smiled and said, "could use a little salt. Maybe a hint of garlic."

"I'll add it to my shopping list," Hunter said dryly. His expression grew serious and his voice lowered a little when he asked. "You doin' okay?"

Atlas shrugged one shoulder but nodded his head. "Don't think it's really hit me yet."

"Yeah," Hunter agreed. "Zee say anything to you?"

"Nah," he shook his head and popped another bit of meat into his mouth, "She'll talk when she's good and ready."

After a moment Atlas asked, "We really lookin' at a week?"

Hunter and Joel both nodded, but I answered. "Kyle really shouldn't be walking at all. At a minimum he should be on crutches for a solid six weeks. I'm sure he would push himself to do more, but more than five or six miles a day will really be pushing it."

I hadn't been able to get crutches from the clinic. They were too big and bulky to sneak out discreetly. I had intended to go back for a set, or even just one, but things didn't really go as planned.

"You know," Hunter said. "When we were walking across the country, we found a wagon and pulled Bambi so she wouldn't slow us down. I bet we could find one, or a wheel-barrow." He grinned. I didn't realize why until a stick flew out of nowhere, bouncing off the tree next to Hunter's head and causing him to laugh. I turned around at the waist in time to see Kyle shuffling over to us.

"Asshole," he said with humor. "I'm not a damn invalid." He settled next to me shaking his head as he muttered, "think you're gonna pull my ass in a wagon."

He nudged my elbow with his and I angled my head up to look at him. Kyle's lips split into a smile. "Good morning."

I wanted to giggle, which was stupid, really. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from making a complete fool of myself and whispered, "Morning."

"If you're done staring all googly-eyed at each other," Atlas said. "There's food." Atlas gestured toward the food for Kyle. "Mouse," he said, calling me out. "I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Zero."

"Oh, lord," Hunter said under his breath.

"I am not delivering any babies." My eyes may have bugged out of my skull a little at that comment. Joel cracked up and Kyle chuckled.

"Thanks for the heads up," I said quietly and searched my brain for absolutely anyway to change the subject. I came up short. "I'm gonna go," I pointed somewhere behind me, "over there. I'll be right back."

"Hey." Kyle caught my wrist as I stood up. "Take Zero with you."

My lips twitched. "I'm not going far." Just far enough that I knew they wouldn't be able to hear me pee.

"Please," Kyle said in earnest and I couldn't even attempt to argue with that.

I'd been trying to figure out what to say to Zero, how to possible talk to her for the last two days. She'd been quiet, in the same way she had since she found out Squirrel was gone. Not mean, not a sobbing mess... just quiet. Like she was lost in her own world or maybe like she just didn't know what to say either.

I caught up to her when we stopped. It was still light out side, the sun still a couple hours from setting but we'd been running on little sleep from the night before and Kyle needed to stop. He'd argued at first, insisting he had another mile or two in him, but nobody was buying it. We were only a few miles from the church but Joel had mentioned we'd be taking the long way around, avoiding the church and hopefully anyone who may still be there. We'd been out of the woods for a while, they surrounded us though as we walked through old farmland, the grass now well overgrown.

Joel spotted the barn, suggesting we sleep in there to avoid being outside while we were so close to the church. It was a little stuffy and dark, but it looked like rain outside and old bales of hay offered seating and make-shift beds that weren't the hard ground.

Zero stood off by herself, examining all the tools still hanging neatly on hooks on one wall. I didn't think she was considering building anything... probably how each would work as a weapon. I stood next to her for a moment, trying to figure out what to say.

"I liked her," I blurted out not knowing what else to say, but feeling that I had to offer up some form of condolences. And it was true, I did like Squirrel, and Claire for that matter. But unlike everyone here, I didn't have the deep emotional ties to anyone who had died. Squirrel and Claire were sweet girls, who had somehow not allowed themselves to be too hardened by the world. Miles was a friend. He was a guy who could make anyone laugh, gambled over about anything he could, and I knew he was really kind. But he wasn't my brother - my family - like he had been to Joel and Kyle and even Hunter. I knew him only slightly better than I'd known either of the girls... or anyone else who died at the church. I wasn't feeling the same pain the rest of them did and for that, I was grateful. The one person I didn't want to lose was still here. But I had grown close to everyone who was still alive, close enough that I felt pain for them; for their loss.

A ghost of a smile swept across her lips. "She liked you too," she said quietly. "You're a little like her, you know?" A soft chuckle. "Not quite as clueless. But generally not cut out for this world." She looked at me finally. "I don't mean that as an insult. Most of the people made for this kind of world are real assholes. Or they're like me."

I didn't really know what she meant by that.

"I'm so sorry, Zero," I said. "I keep thinking if I hadn't asked you to come back with me—"

"There's a good chance that I'd be dead too. Or Hunter." Her lips pursed in thought. "My best friend died a few months back." She paused, shaking her head like she couldn't really believe that only a few months had passed since he died. "Shot in the leg, almost exactly like Kyle but he got an infection. I got him antibiotics, but... who knows if they really did any good. We'd gotten in bad with some people and when we were attacked he created a diversion so the rest of us could get away."

"You called him Braces, right?" I asked. "Hunter and Atlas mentioned him."

She smiled. "That's right. Anyway, I spent a lot of time thinking about what should have been different after that. I practically drove myself, and everyone else, crazy over it. Eventually I learned there wasn't much point. You know? I could spend forever wondering what would have been different if I was at that church... But I wasn't. Nothing will change and it's not good for anyone to dwell like that." She wiped under her eye before a tear could fall and let out a short laugh. "Don't tell Hunter I said any of that," she said. "Don't need him getting a big head, thinking I actually listen to him."

I laughed and she said, "I'm gonna see if he needs any help with the traps." Zero took a few steps off, about to catch up with Kyle before he left, but paused. Turning back to me she said, "Hey Ella?" She waited to have my attention. "I'm really sorry, too. I know how much finding a cure meant to you."

I smiled as Kyle's arm fell across my shoulders, his sudden weight throwing me off balance for a moment. Even though the day was warm, found myself snuggling closer to his heat as muscles I hadn't realized were tense relaxed in his arms.

"Come here," he said, guiding me away. "Let me take care of you."

I gripped around his waist and leaned into him so that I could support more of his weight hoping he wouldn't be in too much pain as we walked together. "Shouldn't that be the other way around?"

He ignored that comment and led me back out of the barn and around it toward the back. I almost asked where we were going or reminded him that he needed to sit down and take it easy, but then I saw where we were going. A large oak tree stood outside the barn, one that had to be a century old. Off one branch was a tire swing and I tried not to think about what happened to the children that used to play on it. Underneath was a few bails of hay though, set up as seating, I guessed. It was sort amazing and a little eerie that it was all still here, set up like at any moment the family who spent time out here would show up again.

"You just knew this was here?"

He shrugged. "We've come this way before." He let go of me, hobbling over to the hay and carefully sat down. Kyle scooted back so that his back rested against the large tree and his legs stretched out across the hay in front of him. "Come sit with me." He bent his right leg up, making space for me between his legs and I raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." I shot him an incredulous look knowing it would be easier than not to accidentally hurt him. "Just come here, baby. I'll be fine."

I hesitated a second longer until he gave an exasperated sigh and made like he intended to come get me himself, and then I crawled onto the hay between his legs. Careful not to even touch his left leg I shift around and settled there, my back resting against his chest. Kyle's arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer and I let my right arm rest on his right leg, my hand on his thigh.

Kyle whispered into my ear, quietly recounting memories. It began with Miles, and by default Joel and Hunter too. How they met. Stupid, shit they'd done together. Mostly good memories, some better than others. He told me every time he could remember Miles saving his life. And as he spoke, Kyle's hands traced patterns up and down my arms. His fingers danced with mine, and eventually worked their way to my shoulders, pushing me forward enough to rub my back.

When he seemed to run out of stories about his friends, or maybe he just couldn't bear to talk about Miles any longer, he told me about his family. About his parents and brother. Growing up.

I shared a story here and there, but mine weren't as good. Kyle didn't seem to mind that I was mostly quiet. I think he needed it.

"You know," I said when he'd finished telling me about a time he jumped off a roof into a pool - he'd broken his leg - in high school. "If we'd met before all of this, I would have been too intimidated to speak."

"When you met me, you were too intimidated to speak," he reminded me, humor in his voice and I laughed a little knowing he was right.

"You had your scary voice turned on," I said and his chuckle rumbled through my body.

"We're gonna be okay you know."

"I hope so."

"No," he said. "Not hope. We are going to be okay. Your cute little ass is going to be snuggling up to me until you're at least seventy."

I crossed my arms in front of me, lacing my fingers through his around my waist and grinned, all toothy and everything.

"Seventy?"

His lips grazed from the outside of my shoulder to the base of my neck and he hummed in agreement. "Seventy." Kyle kissed a line up my neck and my head lulled to the side, giving him room. "By then you'll have a cure and the whole world will remember Ella Fairchild ended the end of the world," he whispered.

"You think I can make a cure?"

"You have Zero," he said. "Hunter said the inn has a generator, so we just need gasoline to keep it going. I'll find you that. I'll find you all the books—all the equipment you need." I couldn't help but to smile, amazed that he would do that. I didn't know if I was capable of something like that, achieving that sort of thing, but that he'd thought about it so much warmed me to the core. "You don't have to give up on that just because things changed."

I leaned to the right and twisted at my waist to see him, not bothering to hide the ridiculous smile on my face. "I love you." I shifted to one side and let goes of his hands reaching into my back pocket. "I almost forgot," I said to him quietly. "You were out of it and I saw this..." I handed him the picture of he and his brother that I'd found when first looking through the chest in his room at Hudson. When we were fumbling to get ready and leave in a hurry a couple days ago, I'd seen it again and stuck it in my pocket for him. "I thought you'd want it."

"Wow," he said, taking the picture from my fingers. It was too dark now to really see the picture, but the emotion in his voice said he knew exactly what it was. "I forgot I had this. Thank you for getting it."

I smiled up at him as his lips swept down to mine in a quick kiss that left my head spinning despite its brevity.

"We should go back," I said. "It looks like rain."

"We could just stay here."

There were dangers in staying out here like this. No shelter to prevent us from becoming zombie snacks. But we were well under the shade of the tree and quiet enough that we wouldn't draw one toward us. I hadn't seen a single one since we came outside. And I felt safe in his arms. I was safe in his arms. I settled back into his chest. "Do you want me to go get you anything?"

His chin rested on the top of my head, moving back and forth as he shook his head. "I'm alright, Ella. Just stay with me."

I close my eyes, not falling asleep but enjoying the moment. The feel of him around me. The gentle breeze and chirping crickets in the night. The air was thick and heavy clouds blocked most of the stars, but a full, bright moon shone through lighting up the evening. In the distance deep thunder rumbled and I knew we'd have to go in eventually. But not yet. In a world that had so much shit, hurt and evil and so, so much death I'd learned to hold on to moments like this as hard and for as long as I could. And this one, it was pretty close to perfection.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN - Well, almost 6 months and about 142 thousand words later I'm satisfied with closing Ella and Hunter's story here. Thank you for reading it - especially those who've been reading and commenting and voting on practically every chapter since I first posted in March! I really, really appreciate it!

It's NOT TOTALLY OVER just yet. I do have an epilogue that I'm really, really excited to share! I'll post sometime tomorrow - still trying to get finish it up just how I want!

And then I may or may not post a couple bonus chapters in Zero's POV - if you guys are interested in that??