Seven - Ella

I was going to smack him if he didn't stop looking at me like that.

Grinning and happy and not caring at all that I was currently plotting his murder. Not that I could go through with it... if I'd learned one thing from trying to kill a zombie, it was that I didn't like dead things. Nope. Nope. Nope. But right then, it was fun to think about.

Smothering him while he slept. Stabbing him in his stupid face. Oh, I could go on.

Because Kyle Russell was looking at me like he was proud of me.

Proud. Of. Me.

Excuse me while I barf.

On purpose or not, after what he'd done he had no right to be proud of me. Or to even look my direction. No right!

Last night, his mouth may have said he was sorry for nearly getting me killed, but the look in his eyes held no apology. I didn't care if he was proud of me. I wanted him to realize that he'd been totally wrong. Dragging me out into the woods, pretending to give me his only weapon, trying to get himself eaten by a zombie so that I would use said weapon. Did he not realize how insane that was?

Well, no, I didn't think he did. That's what was so frustrating about it.

There were plenty of things he could have done. Oh, he could have given me some pointers on how to hold a knife. Or had me practice on a tree or, oh, I don't know, the wind. There are about a thousand acceptable ways he could have tried to teach me to defend myself. But no. Kyle Russell didn't pick from that list. He decided the best way for someone with zero experience to learn how to kill a zombie is to just make them do it.

The worst part is, I didn't think he even realized how ridiculous that mindset is. He was crazy person that doesn't realize how bonkers he is.

Maybe he'd been shot at one too many times, or maybe he inhaled too much carbon monoxide while he worked as a mechanic, or maybe it was a genetic thing. I didn't know for sure the cause, but I was fairly certain that Kyle Russell wasn't all there.

Maybe that was it. That was their secret to why this team was the best. They were all flippin' insane.

So. Yeah.

I was pissed. I pissed that he tricked me into killing a zombie and almost got my killed in the process. And I hated with every fiber of my being that he was proud that I had killed a zombie. He had no right. I didn't do anything spectacular. I managed, on a fluke, to kill the thing because I thought I was going to die. I sincerely doubted I could do a repeat. And his little theory that killing one would make them less scary... wrong. I'd never been so scared in my life. Staying with these people at the church for the rest of my meager existence was starting to sound better and better. I was ready to say the hell with finding a vaccine because I did not want be in that position ever again.

"Are you hoping he'll turn to stone?" Colby asked pulling my attention to where she sat next to me at breakfast. I hadn't realized until she pointed it out that I'd been glaring across the table at Kyle.

"A little, yeah," I admitted with a shrug. There was no point in lying. The icy tension that had settled between us hadn't gone unnoticed at dinner the night before.

"You still going with them?"

Reasonable question. I kept my mouth shut about what happened; I hadn't known any of these people well enough to feel comfortable complaining about something that happened between myself and someone they obviously all loved, but dinner last night ended in Kyle's not-so-sorry apology and me storming off. There had been plenty of witnesses. I hadn't spoken to him since then and that was working for me. It had been Miles who let me know they'd decided that instead of leaving at the crack of dawn in the morning, we'd stay and eat a real breakfast. I think they did it for my benefit more than anything else. They were trying to be nice and I knew from my talk with Kyle yesterday, before the zombie incident, that they had wanted to start over, try to put our differences aside and work together. It was a sort of olive branch to stay for a nice breakfast and I wasn't going to scoff at the gesture. I wanted breakfast. But I also positioned myself firmly at the opposite end of the table. I was still pissed and it was still early - I was not a morning person - so it was best, I decided to keep my distance for a while longer.

At least until I was no longer picturing Kyle's head on a stake.

"Of course. They need me."

Her face twisted in disbelief, but she kept her mouth shut. She didn't know why I was with them but to her - to all of the people here - it was clear that I didn't fit in, nor did I appear particularly capable of helping anyone. And I wasn't, at least, not in the sense they were all thinking. But I could help to get H-26... if it were really there. If my father had kept a second or third sample of it somewhere, I would find it. He had to have had copies. He always had copies, never wanting to risk something happening to the original sample. It was there. I couldn't accept that this whole mission might be in vain. I couldn't, and didn't want to, even imagine what the three men traveling with me would do if they knew this could all be for nothing.

We didn't mingle after breakfast, though it was impossible for the men to get away without hugs and well-wishes from practically every person living in the community. It annoyed me, but I was trying really hard to not be annoyed any more. Upset or not, I was spending the day with these jerks.

"Need help with that?" Kyle approached me when he saw me struggling with my bag.

"I got it, thanks." The words came out colder than I intended. With food in my stomach and the sun higher in the sky, my mood was slightly better. I wasn't trying to be a bitch so much as prove to myself that I could do this. I could carry my own weight... literally and metaphorically. Kyle raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to prove him wrong.

Taking a breath, I heaved the bag up and slung it over my shoulder. Looping the other strap around my arm, the bag settled into position and I began to fiddle with the straps, pulling or loosening them and buckling things together until it felt comfortable. At least, as comfortable as it was going to get. My shoulders and back were still sore from so many hours of wear yesterday that there was no escaping it: wearing this backpack would never be comfortable. Comfortable was flopping into a nice fluffy couch and turning on a Supernatural marathon. Life wasn't comfortable any more.

But I'd gotten the backpack on without any help. And I didn't even lose balance doing it.

I smiled to myself.

See? I could do this.

When I caught Kyle's eye he was smiling too.

It was hard to want to smack him he was smiling. It was a really good smile. The kind that would have made my knees weak if I didn't know he was severely lacking in the sanity department. Knowing he likely belong in a crazy-bin made it easier to ignore the stupid, stupid attraction between us - because it was there for sure - and keep my panties firmly in place.

He nodded once in approval that I didn't need, or want, but secretly liked, and then said, "I have something for you."

I arched a brow. Was it an apology? I hoped it was an apology.

It wasn't.

Kyle pulled a knife out of the holster he wore on his side. The wooden handle, smooth from being used so often, was attached to a smooth and deadly sharp blade. I recognized it immediately as the knife he had given me the previous day. He looked at it for a minute, lost in thought before flipping it around in his hand so that the wooden grip was held out to me.

"I want you to keep this on you," he said and then cleared his throat.

Even though he didn't say it, the ominous "just in case" implication was clear. A part of me wanted to refuse, but it was a good idea to have, I knew that. So I nodded and wrapped my fingers around the grip of the knife. Once it was in my hand, I hadn't a clue what to do with it. If it was sharp enough to go through bone, I was pretty sure the thin, quick drying fabric of the pants I wore would be no match for the weapon. So shoving it into my pocket seemed like an epically bad idea. I really didn't want to start the morning stabbing myself.

"Hang on," he said. He bent down and produced another knife from his shoe. It was smaller and didn't look quite as deadly, but somehow, I figured it was. At least for someone like him who really knew how to use it. Kyle placed that knife in the sheath at his side and then bent back down to his shoe. A moment later he stood, holding a small sheath for the knife that was attached to an ankle sized holster. "I don't have one for your side or thigh, but this should fit around your ankle. It's easy to use," he explained as he strapped it to my boot. When he was done, he stepped back and I slid the knife into its sheath.

With a weapon, it was official, I felt a little badass. I knew it was just a feeling. I couldn't use the weapon strapped to my boot even a little bit. I was more likely to stab myself than anything else. I probably should have asked if he'd teach me, but I was terrified he'd throw another zombie at me.

"Thanks," I muttered.

When he didn't leave, I forced my eyes to meet his. I was a little shocked at how close his face was to mine. I sucked in a breath that had nothing to do with my surprise and everything to do with his nearness and silently cursed myself for being attracted to him.

"I would never purposefully have done that to you, Ella," he said quietly. "I know I'm an asshole, but I wouldn't intentionally hurt you."

There was nothing to say. I looked into his eyes that never strayed from mine and nodded. I believed him. I forgave him. I still didn't think he should be proud, but I forgave him. But I didn't trust him, not entirely.

He made a grunt and turned to meet up with Miles and Joel. I followed behind, forcing my still sore legs to move quickly to keep up despite their ache. We left the building to a beautiful day. It was the kind of day that made you want to spend the whole thing outside. Even a person like myself, who spent most of my time in labs and studying, found it hard to resist that type of day. The cloudless sky was so blue that if the world was normal, it would make you want to call into work sick, not that I ever actually did anything like that. But I would eat lunch in a giant park on my lunch break or take walks along the trails when I needed a break and wanted to feel the sun on my skin.

The point is, the day didn't match the world as it was.

I'd noticed it before. Staying on base, we had pretty days still, it wasn't like the whole world was overcast in a hazy fog just because humanity was on the verge of extinction. But out here, it suddenly felt like it should be. The whole world should look and feel as scary as it is. Like a horror movie. Horror movies never take place on bright, sunny days. Even if it start off sunny, it's always dark or raining or foggy by the time the killing starts.

It never felt out of place for a nice day to occur at Hudson. Probably because Kyle was right, people living there were naive to the dangers. They were complacent. They refused to recognize the horrors of the world.

I never thought that I was one of those people, but I was. It didn't really hit me, how terrifying the world had become, until I was aimlessly shoving a knife into another person's head. Well, what used to be a person. Zombies were real. It wasn't a new idea to me. I had been a party to their creation. But something about being pinned beneath one made it impossible for me to stay in that little bubble.

It was a beautiful day.

The happy day didn't match the world. It didn't match the fear pumping through my veins.

It could trick you into a false sense of security. How bad could things be on a perfect day?

Miles bumped into my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked over to see him grinning.

"You seem less glarey."

"I'm not sure that glarey is a word." He lifted one shoulder in an uncaring shrug. "Kyle gave me a knife."

"And you're planning to stab him with it? That why you're all happy?" He teased and I shook my head trying not to join in his laughter. He held out a hand making grabby fingers until I squatted down and pulled the knife from the holster. "Will you teach me to use it?" I asked, handing it to him.

Miles took the knife and stopped mid step, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline in a near comical manner. I stopped too, waiting and damn curious to know why he looked so shocked. He recovered quickly, schooling his expression and picking his step up again.

"He gave you this?"

"I didn't steal if from him," I say with a slow nod. I looked up at Miles wondering if he was going to say more than that.

"Joel," he called ahead to where Joel was speaking to Kyle, who took point today. "Check it out."

Joel stopped where he was, letting Kyle lead the way alone. When we caught up Miles tossed him the knife and Joel fumbled to catch it without getting stabbed.

"What the fuck, dude? Any reason you threw a knife at me?"

Miles laughed. "Don't be a little bitch. Look at it." Joel inspected the blade briefly before his eyes shot up to Miles. "Kyle gave it to her," Miles explained wearing a grin.

"Huh," he muttered, his brow pulling together in surprise.

"Want to fill me in?" I looked between the two men.

"It's..." Joel trailed off, shaking his head. I hadn't known him well enough to read him even a little bit. Really, I was just happy he was being civil.

"Ask Ky, he'll teach you to use it," Miles said. The thought of asking Kyle Russell to spend alone time with me was about as appealing as... well, it was about as appealing as being trapped under a zombie. I'd forgiven him, at least mostly, but that didn't mean I was anxious to be alone with him again. Something in my expression must have given away my thoughts because Miles burst out in laughter. "Trust me," he said once he'd regained his composure.

Joel held the knife out to me, hilt first. When I curled my fingers around it he didn't immediately let go, instead choosing to stare me down. I wanted to cower away from the intensity, but since he didn't look upset, just befuddled, I managed to hold my own. Finally he smiled and let the blade go, I quickly returned it to the sheath around my ankle.

"Everything okay?" Kyle called back to us after realizing that everyone else had stopped.

"We're good," Joel said, jogging ahead to catch up up.

"So?" Miles said, smiling. "You still hate me?"

"You still betting on when I'm gonna die?" I asked, smiling. I had forgiven him.

"Nope," he answered with a wide grin. "Moved on from that."

"Is that so?"

"Yep." He nodded and I waited for him to go on.

"Well?" I asked, curious.

"I got a few different bets going at the moment," he said cryptically.

"You're horrible," I said certain that all of his bets were about people. I only hoped they weren't all as morbid as death estimates.

"Tough shit, princess. Long stretches with nothing to kill gets real boring after a while, and I Spy stops being fun after... well, it's never been fun. Gotta find my entertainment where I can get it."

Unable to find an argument against that, I shrugged. Who was I to judge how they killed time and distracted themselves from the long walks?

I wasn't sure if Miles had set out hoping to break the tension between us all, but that's exactly what he did. Kyle stayed at the front of the group, breaking off every hour or so to scout ahead for the best route. I was okay with not trying to carry on a conversation with him. I wanted to ask him about Miles and Joel's reaction to the knife he gave me, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. And I wanted to ask Kyle to teach me how to use it a little, but I couldn't quite work up the nerve.

Miles kept the conversation going even though a few hours into the day my feet had started to hurt bad enough that I couldn't focus on much else. I think my blisters had blisters. I didn't even want to look at them. They were probably disgusting. Feet were gross enough without being covered in blisters. But the guys weren't acting all broody and annoyed like they had yesterday, and I didn't want to give them any reason to start. So I gritted my teeth and tried my best to focus on anything but the fact that it felt like someone was stabbing my feet with every step. Thankfully, Miles was a talker and he didn't seem too bothered by my lack of social skills.

"Hey," Joel interrupted as he and Kyle rounded their way back to us. "We're almost to Winchester."

"And it looks like we've got plenty of company," Kyle added.

"Like another group?"

Was it naive or just plain stupid to hope that the company Kyle mentioned was the living variety?

"Sure," Joel said, "But this group is a little more dead."

"We're going around right? We'll just take a different way."

It's what we'd done all day. Avoid the zombies. It was a good plan if you asked me, one that we should stick to.

"Not going to happen," Joel said emphatically as he shook his head.

Kyle shot a look to Joel.

"What he means is we don't have another reasonable option." He paused to gauge my reaction. It wasn't good. "Here, hang on." He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a map. Like a real, old fashioned paper map. Of course they had a map, it only made sense. I just hadn't thought about it. Unfolding it, Kyle held it out for me to see. "Here's where Hudson is." He pointed to a spot on the map just inside the West Virginia border where Hudson was. Nodding, I took his word for it. "Here's where we are now." He moved his finger an inch or so. Looking at the map was a little depressing because it felt like we'd been walking for so long but made so little progress. When he moved his finger again he placed it on our destination... Alexandria, Virginia. "We're headed for the D.C. Metro Area, Ella. The towns will get progressively larger the closer we get. That means more Zs."

"I—" My chest tightened. "How many?"

"Couple dozen, give or take. They're will be plenty more when we actually get into town," Joel said and my jaw dropped. "They're spread out some. We might be able to just sneak past most of them," he added quickly to keep me from panicking.

"You can do this." Kyle said sounding a lot more confident than I felt. "We get to the other side of this town and it should clear up enough to find a spot to camp."

"We got your back," Miles added, clapping a hand on my shoulder.

"Sure. Right." I nodded. "We'll just walk through a zombie-filled nightmare town. Simple stuff."

I could do this. I could. I would. I had to.