Chapter 38

Caleb returned to the penthouse to find his mother and girlfriend sitting together on the couch, going through his baby photos. Though, at first, he wanted to protest, he quickly clammed up when Angelika threatened to break out the video of his kindergarten performance of Hamlet. In the end, he decided to choose the lesser of two evils.

What was ultimately important was that Akane and his mother were hitting it off. Given what he knew about both of these women, Caleb was half worried he might return to find a bloodbath, all things considered. Putting up with a bit of humiliation for the sake of making sure these two didn't tear each other's throats out was the least he could do.

After they were done with dessert, Angelika offered to let Akane stay the night. Though Caleb was worried that might make Akane uncomfortable, she had apparently already brought over something to sleep in. Not that he could really say he was surprised.

That night, as they lay down to sleep, with Akane taking Caleb's bed while he slept on an inflatable mattress on the floor, Akane had a lot on her mind, causing her to toss and turn quite feverishly. With a frustrated sigh, she sat up in her bed.

"Darling, are you awake?"

Caleb slowly lurched up from the half-sleep he'd fallen into. "What is it?"

She tucked her knees up to her chest, a forlorn look in her eyes. "I can't sleep."

He stood to his feet before hopping into bed and putting his arm around her. "What's wrong, babe?"

"I was just thinking...." She rested her head against his chest. "...you have such a wonderful mother. She's so loving and supportive. I'm...a little jealous, honestly."

He frowned at her in concern but otherwise simply nodded his head and kept listening.

"Don't get me wrong, I love my parents too. But..." Akane sighed. "... we're not as close as you seem to be with your mom."

"What do you mean?"

"It feels like there's always some sort of barrier between us," she admitted sadly. "Like...when I talk to them, we never seem to be in the same room. It's always through a wall or a door. It feels like we don't really live together as much as we just...occupy the same space, you know?"

He nodded in understanding. "You're not as close as you want to be."

She hung her head, withdrawing in on herself. "Do you remember...when I told you about how it was before my parents got sick?"

"I do."

Akane took a moment to gather her thoughts.

"It was horrible. We were always fighting, always yelling at each other. My parents were always so angry at me, and I never fully understood why."

He remained silent.

"I get it now, though. Why they were always so angry, I mean."

"Why?"

She fidgeted a little. "Promise you won't think less of me?"

He smiled reassuringly. "Promise."

Akane cuddled up to him more, finding comfort in his arms. "Sometimes...I hear voices of people who aren't really there. They used to scare me when I was younger. I'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming, shouting, banging my fists against the wall, doing whatever I could think of to get them to stop."

"But they don't scare you now?" he noted a hint of intrigue in his voice.

She shook her head. "Not since my parents started scaring me more."

"Akane..."

"We're a lot better now," she assured, smiling for his sake. "My parents weren't always nice to me, but since I started caring for them, they've mellowed out." Akane sighed, her demeanor turning gloomy again. "Still... we've never really gotten over that. I've never really gotten over that. It's nice to know they need me now. But..."

Try as she might, Akane couldn't force it back. Her eyes glassed over, and her lip began to quiver.

"I just wish...they could have been there for me when I needed them."

Caleb gently wrapped her up in both arms while she quietly wept on his shoulder. It was strange. Hearing this should have made him furious. But the blinding white rage, the sharp ringing in his ears, it wasn't there. The more he thought about it, the more it didn't make sense. He loved his girlfriend. Why wasn't he upset by this?

That's when he felt it. The strange sensation of something tickling his cheek. Caleb gently wiped the tear from his eye before looking at it in perplexity. When was the last time he had cried over anything? Even when his father died, Caleb couldn't remember ever shedding any tears. Any grief or anguish he may have felt, having been replaced with bitter hatred and anger.

Then again... he'd always been an inherently selfish person. Anger was a much more productive emotion than sorrow, at least in his opinion. Anger helped keep him alive when the cult turned on his family. It kept him motivated when he and his mother hunted down and butchered the traitors most responsible for his father's death.

But his rage had always been such a selfish emotion. And right now, he really didn't want to be. He wanted his girlfriend to smile again. More than anything, he just wanted her to be happy.

"Parents don't always know how to love their children," Caleb spoke gently while stroking her hair. "They may want to. But they don't know how."

She finally stopped crying and looked up at him curiously.

"It's not like we come with instruction manuals or anything," he continued. "Parents are pretty much ad-libbing everything right from the get-go."

"Did your mom teach you that?"

He smiled wistfully. "My dad did."

Now she was frowning at him in concern.

"Parents seem like everything when you're young. In a lot of ways, they're almost like Gods to children." He shrugged. "And why wouldn't they be? We're born from them, raised by them. For better or ill, our parents shape the people we ultimately become." He shook his head. "But they don't have to define us forever. Dad always told me there would come a day I would have to take control of my own life. As he put it, "No one can be you but you. Ultimately, you are the star of your own reality."

She quirked her head at him, curious as to where this was going.

"I want to be angry at your parents for treating you that way," he admitted. "But at the same time, I'm grateful that you were able to overcome those challenges together." He chuckled. "It's frustrating, honestly. On the one hand, I desire nothing but good things for you."

She finally smiled at him. "And on the other?"

Caleb gently caressed her cheek, a look of deep longing in his eyes. "I wouldn't change a thing about you. You're a survivor, Akane. Like me. I'll always love you for that."

Akane was finally at peace again. For all his wonderful qualities, his looks, his intelligence, his charm, the thing she'd ultimately come to love about her boyfriend the most was how much he understood her. Maybe he couldn't empathize with her lot in life, but he was aware enough to know exactly what she needed to blow away the gathering storm within her.

He easily recognized the reason for her feeling lost, feeling sad. Caleb had the answers for problems she couldn't solve for such a long time. But more than that, he made her feel validated, whereas before, she often felt like her burdens, much like the voices, were all in her head and nothing more.

"Will you cuddle with me for a bit?" she asked hopefully. "At least until I fall asleep?"

He kissed her forehead. "Do you even have to ask?"

Akane sighed contently, getting nice and comfortable.

"Hey..." she whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Have I told you lately how happy I am?"

He smiled, his eyes gently closed.

"Me too..."