Chapter 43

𝕾𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖔: 𝕱𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘 𝖇𝖞 𝕿𝖆𝖞𝖑𝖔𝖗 𝕾𝖜𝖎𝖋𝖙

***

"Then I wouldn't be able to do any punishment for you, Verfeil," were the last words he said before grabbing my hand and pulling me closer to him keeping me accompanied with his warmth as Verfeil released mine.

My gaze went from Caliere's back to Verfeil. My mouth opened but silence overwhelmed my words. I saw Verfeil smiling, waving at me with a very familiar expression.

The way the corners of his lips lifted, while his eyes shone made me see his shadows move with the sun's setting, but his ears were so high that I couldn't see the way his lips lifted.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I nearly halted walking, but his grip was so strong that instead of being in control of this situation, I kept being reminded that I was still a young lady compared to this young man.

He was everything that I couldn't have, he was that one young man who hated me despised my entire existence, and the one who brought me to my tragedy because, in the end, he would never be able to love someone like me.

He never loved me, and even if I came back to the past, and now this became my present, in the end, he would still fall in love with the one he was destined to fall for, and that will never be me.

I may have held the end of my bargain, even if the emperor and Caliere couldn't hold me back from my opinion of being the heir to my household, being a lady who would pursue a knighthood as well as medicine, I know when Liana comes, I would back out from our engagement.

"Vestia..." my eyes blinked and before I knew what was happening, I looked in front of us and we were already in front of a huge wooden door. A door I remembered well, the door that I couldn't even come within.

A passageway where I could only knock and look within but never step inside.

Right now, Caliere was in front of my gaze, and he turned to look at me. He leaned in closer. I could see his doe eyes and lips that were lifted, back in that time when I used to fantasize about this moment, I would dream about this.

I would never hesitate to kiss him in the face, hug him tighter, and be around him all the time. But I guess they were just some memories in the past now, memories of what could have been if things were different.

I sighed and returned his expression but all that remained was eyebrows lifting in his occurrence before grabbing my hand again and opening the door that banned me from entering his life.

"Since you're already my fiancé, I wanted to let you see this side of me, my office, and my room next door," he said ushering me to look around.

It's different from the noble households I've been to before in my first life. Especially since it was different from my father's office. This might have been the first time I saw his workroom, but I felt as if this moment, we were inside a small cabin.

Everything was made of wood. There was a fireplace near the couches, everything resonated with the light and dark color of the wood blending well together.

I could see the chairs and sofas being made of wood with some foam except for the couch but they were still brown.

Then a thought came to mind, the reason why he must have loved Liana was because she had something that he favored that is having light brown hair and eyes, the appearance that I could never have.

"And see my table?" he pointed. I saw how the papers kept on filing his table and some were already on the ground while the others barely hung from the highest position.

My eyes widen. I blinked and returned to look at Caliere, not minding that he wasn't looking where I was looking earlier but at my face instead.

He kept on leaning over me until my back touched the door. He immediately put both of his hands beside my head as I gasped.

"Caliere, I think you're busy right now so-----"

"Finally, what a nice start to hear your following words, but it seemed that you're still not aware why I brought you here"

"Why?" I gulped while I tried to stop the shaking of my hands as I caught my breath in between his gaze and position.

"I wanted to let you know," he paused. A second later, my eyes couldn't get any wider. I felt something warm touching my forehead and it took me time to realize what landed on it.

"If you ever thought of me the same way I'm thinking about you and I wanted to add something. I'm sick of always thinking about it, it's bad for my health, it's bad for my work, but I couldn't get you off my mind..."

I opened my mouth and closed it. I touched both of his cheeks and put some distance between our faces. I look at his lips for a second before landing my eyes on his.

It only took me a brief second to look at those golden orbs before sighing and closing my eyes.

"I don't know what's going on with you. Caliere, but I think it's not only your problem. If you have a hard time thinking about me, then only remember these words and you'll forget my appearance," I paused.

"Vestia Monsiore is an ugly duckling"

Later I realized that his shoulders were shaking, and it took me seconds to hear that soft laughter. When I looked at him, he continued to give us distance until his warmth was no longer lingering in all of my senses.

"You're indeed funny, Vestia. Why would I think that my fiancé is an ugly duckling? But I guess it worked... for a moment, I couldn't see you in my mind," he said looking right at my eyes, with lips cornered in a glorious victory.

I returned that kind of expression but something in my chest felt heavy that time, as if my lifeline would immediately be ripped apart from admitting that I could never be more than anything to him.

That I could never be someone he could depend on and that I would never become the love of his life, because that lady would come to him in the future.

I could see from my perspective that he would be an excellent ruler and someone loyal to the love of his life. Perhaps, that kind of trait made me drawn to him even more.

The more that I think about it, then the more I have this love of mine be logical enough to let go of it slowly since losing these reasons of loving him, would be enough for me to move forward and find my own happiness in life.

"So now that we're officially engaged, a week from now, I could see some invitations coming to your household. As advice, you just have to be prepared since those invitations would come from notable nobles of the noble society," he held my hand to sit on the couch and I followed him.

"Blake left this here because I said so," he paused as he opened the teapot, and a smoke overwhelmed his face as he closed his eyes.

He inhaled some scent from it before lifting the corners of his lips.

"I'm glad that it's still hot. Care for a hot greet lemon tea?" He asked and I chuckled.

I never thought he even had a side like this, his being playful would be the first side that would make me shrug off some thoughts from the past.

All I could say is that the present him, compared to the mature person that is also him in the past, were very different.

I nodded and he placed my tea as he continued to brew some from his small space table.

I tried to help him but he gestured with his hand and nodded with a chuckle.

"I can do it, let me just pamper my fiancé for a moment...since you'll be my wife after all..." I smell the strong scent of the tea as I close my eyes. I nodded with his words but I didn't hear the last ones he mentioned. I guess he only meant about how the tea was still warm.

I didn't even bother asking him since all I wanted for that very moment was peace. Now that I have it with Caliere, I know I wouldn't regret this moment, not when I felt as if nothing to him at all.

He descended across from me to the other couch and took a sip from his tea. He looked at the huge window beside us. I could see that the sun was already on the land but the sky was still bright.

Gazing long enough at that place, made me realize that Caliere had been gazing at me when I turned to look at him.

"Vestia, I know this might surprise you but as your fiancé, can I ask you?"

"Of course, you may..." soft laughter escaped my mouth

"As we've been officially announced as an engaged couple, I as the crown prince and you as the crown princess, would you be able to stay away from those young men?"

"They've been my friends, Caliere..."

"I know but wouldn't there be any rumors if you keep hanging with them?"

I sighed and put the tea on the small table.

"I might not be able to see some of my friends because Henry and Claudius would be going to the imperial academy... and----"

"So you're calling them by their names, huh?" I sensed a sudden changed of aura coming from Caliere.

"What makes them special that you couldn't speak my name when I asked you back then, Vestia?"