Chapter 19: Confessing

"One of the best feelings in the world is when the person you like, likes you back."

Jaimie-mae sat silently in the passenger seat of Fabian's Range Rover as he reached over her and buckled her in cautiously. Even though he had just carried her out of the café, he was still being careful not to over step anything she'd be uncomfortable with.

She was mildly surprised that he had even bothered carrying her. He was injured not to long ago but he didn't protest.

Jaimie-mae didn't know what had come over her. She had no idea why she had clung to him like a monkey, or why she held on so tightly. She just knew she felt a lot better after she did. Actually, she did kind of know why she did those things.

She missed him. God, did she miss him.

She knew it was her fault for not calling, or coming by, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't bring herself to do a lot of things actually.

She was having a bad week. She was irritated at everything and everyone and she didn't want to make a mistake and take out her frustration on everyone in her path. She so busy putting everyone else's feelings in consideration that she forgot to put her own there too.

She had avoided as many people as she could so as not to let them face her fury. It was rare for anyone to see her angry. But when she was angry, she hid it away. To protect others. But that wasn't doing her any good.

She wasn't angry at anyone but herself. She was angry, so angry. She was simmering in her own frustrations, slowly burning up. She was mad because she was scared now.

She was scared of letting people know how she was feeling. She was scared of her thoughts. She was scared of the panic attacks. She was scared of therapy. She was scared of school. But, she wondered if she ever really was scared of those things.

No she wasn't. She couldn't be. She was facing them.

What she was actually scared of, were the things that happened in the past. They came back to visit all the time. The past was the present and she hated that. She hated it all.

But she promised herself she wouldn't go around hating things anymore because it would kill her when the memories didn't.

"Jaimie, stop thinking so hard," Fabian said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Jaimie-mae slowly turned to Fabian and her anger finally boiled over and came out in angry hot tears. She couldn't find a way to let it out.

"Come on Jaimie-mae. You need to talk about it or at least shout at me or something," Fabian said seriously.

Jaimie-mae didn't know why she was so surprised. He knew. He always knew.

"I-i don't know how to t-talk about it," she said through her sobs.

"Alright. Just relax for a second."

Jaimie-mae sat back in the seat and eventually curled up on herself. She found her herself nodding off a few times, but she tried to stay awake so she wouldn't seem rude.

"Jaimie-baby, you can go to sleep. Its okay. I'll be right here."

Jaimie-mae's heart stuttered at the chosen nickname. It sounded so... sweet coming from his mouth.

Jaimie-mae soon drifted off, the smooth movements of the car lulling her further into a comfortable sleep. It was the best one she'd had in a while.

***

"Hey, Jaimie-mae. Wake up."

Jamie-mae groaned slightly and curled up tighter to shut out the annoying but handsome voice interrupting her slightly pleasant sleep.

"Jaimieee."

"Nooo," she whined. "You said i could sleep."

"Yeah, and you did. Now you have to open your eyes."

"Whatever happened to manners?" she grumbled as she cracked opened her eyes.

Fabian chuckled. "Please."

"Much better."

She sat up straight in the passengers sleep and rubbed her eyes to rid them of the blurriness. She was feeling in a mildly better mood than an hour ago. She was still feeling pretty sour though.

She took the time to look around her. "Are you planning to go hunting or something?"

Fabian shook his head with a small chuckle. "No. I don't really promote killing innocent creatures for sport."

Jaimie-mae could have swooned at how sweet he was.

She watched as he hopped out of the car and quickly came around her side to open the door. He bowed playfully and held out his hand for her to take. She laughed for the first time in a while and she felt her spirits soar. She felt much better now.

Delicately, she placed her small hand in his large palm and he pulled her out of the car. After locking the car, he led her on a barely there path which was overgrown with lush grass that was damp from the air. Jaimie-mae, for some strange reason, didn't question the fact that he was dragging her through a secluded foresty area. She was beginning to really question her sanity.

After about three minutes of walking, Jaimie-mae figured it was probably better if she asked something. "Where are we going?"

"Through here."

"Thanks," she mumbled sarcastically. "That helped a lot."

He laughed and just tugged her forward more.

Jaimie-mae noticed her hand started to sweat and she felt slightly embarrassed but Fabian didn't seem to mind and if he did, he hid it really well.

Jaimie-mae was so busy worrying about her sweaty hand that she didn't even notice that they had stopped and were now standing on the edge of a very high cliff.

"Jaimie-mae. You alright?"

Jaimie-mae looked around and almost screamed when she saw how high up she was.

"Why did you bring me here? So you could push me off?"

Fabian chuckled and pulled her into his side. "No. I could never bring myself to do that. I brought you here so you could scream and shout at nothing."

Jaimie-mae looked at Fabian like he was crazy. "What?"

"Just shout whatever comes to your mind."

Jaimie-mae just continued to stare at him curiously.

"Go ahead, no one will hear you. Try it. I promise it will make you feel good. And to make it even better, there's a cool echo too."

Jaimie-mae turned and looked off the cliff. "How do you know this?"

"Because i fell off of here once and i screamed and i noticed there was an echo on my way down."

"You say this like it's totally normal. And do you have nine lives or something?" She asked as she gazed down at the perfectly calm water. It was so still it looked like glass.

"Falling is normal and no."

Jaimie-mae went back to looking at him strangely but then she smiled. Just from spending a few days with him she had realized that this boy made her happy. She realized that he was someone unique and that she should hold onto him. She realized that she liked him.

God, did she really like him.

He made her feel happy. And strong. And tall. And confident. And pretty. And now... she felt brave.

She actually felt brave. She didn't feel so small and pathetic.

And while she still had that small moment of braveness running through her, she began to shout.

"I can't beleive im saying this. But, i really like Fabian Sharp!" She shouted. "I really do!"

She waited until all of her words stopped bouncing off the waters and through the air and then she turned around to Fabian and grinned at him.

She began to get a little worried when he looked like he was just about ready to faint. But then a smile slowly creeped up onto his face and then he was grinning brighter than the sun and it was now Jaimie-mae's turn to feel like she was going to faint.

He playfully punched her in the arm and kicked at the ground.

"I like you too Jaimie-baby. You're not half bad."