A Murder Of Crows {19}

The next day, Kieran wasn't in class.

Jamison eyed Kieran's empty seat, but said nothing as he made his way to the back of the room to take his own seat. He met my eyes and offered me a tired smile.

I turned away from him, wondering where Kieran was. Surely he wouldn't be stupid enough to try to pull something off on his own right now.

Mia didn't seem alarmed by his absence, so she probably knew where he was. Hopefully she'd tell us at lunch. I didn't like any unknown factors right now.

Morning classes were slow and uneventful, but I managed to keep my focus enough to take good notes. By the time lunch came around, I was ready to crawl back into bed and sleep for a few days.

Jamison came up to me as I gathered my stuff. The two of us left the classroom together, easily falling into step with each other. Why were these simple things so easy, but everything else was so complicated?

"You never texted me last night. Normally I'd assume that's a good thing, but with you, it's hard to tell," he said. "You okay?"

"Perfectly fine," I said. "I don't need a caretaker, you know."

"I know. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to watch out for you," he said.

I adjusted my sunglasses a little and didn't respond to that. It was so strange, to have someone that wanted to look after me like that.

We reached the dining hall and Jamison caught my arm before I could head off to get my lunch. He slowly released my arm once I was looking at him.

"You're always welcome to sit with us," he said.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said.

We parted to get our lunches, and I made my way to my usual table. Jamison might welcome me to their table, but I knew the other three Crows wouldn't trust me.

"Where's Kieran?" I asked as I sat down with Val and Mia.

"He signed off campus to go help his mom for the day. He'll be back by tonight," Mia said. She looked past me and her expression darkened.

I didn't even have to turn around to know Jamison was coming this way. I mentally sighed, waiting to hear his voice.

But neither he nor Cole said anything as they sat at our table. Mia glared across the table at them.

"No one wants you here," she said.

"I do!" Val said, raising her hand a little. "Cole and I are friends. I told him he could sit with us."

Mia picked her tray up. "I'm not dealing with the president and his lapdog."

"I think that was supposed to be an insult, but dogs are adorable so I'm not going to take it that way," Cole said.

Mia ignored him and left the table. Jamison sighed and offered us an apologetic smile.

"Guess we're not real popular around here," he said.

"Cor and I don't mind the company," Val said.

"Don't talk for me," I said.

Cole pulled out his phone, checking a message and sighing. "Chief, we have a problem." He passed his phone along to Jamison.

Jamison skimmed over the message and handed the phone back to Cole. "Tell her I'll take care of it after classes. I don't want to miss anymore class if I don't have to, and that can wait," he said.

"Trouble in paradise?" Val said.

Jamison just shrugged, looking tired despite the smile on his face. "Kenz just heard some rumors of a possible target for the Doctor. No immediate danger, though. I'll have her call the target's school for now and deal with the rest later."

"Not a Crowe student?" I said.

"No. One of the public high school's students," Cole said, responding to the message. "I told Kenz to call."

"Good," Jamison said. "I bet she texted me, but I think I forgot to turn my phone back on after classes."

"You should have it on all the times. You know Headmaster Crowe will excuse you if it goes off in class," Cole said.

"I know." Jamison rubbed at his eyes a little. "It slipped my mind."

He pulled his phone out, turned the sound back on, and checked a few messages before putting it back in his pocket. I knew I should be happy about the exhaustion causing him to be absent minded. I knew it would make it easier for us to come up with a plan if Jamison wasn't thinking clearly.

But instead, I was...worried?

He was just a student. This whole situation shouldn't fall directly onto his shoulders.

"I'll be back," I said, getting up.

I left the table and when I returned, I set a cup of coffee down in front of myself, and another down in front of Jamison. He seemed surprised at the small gesture, but took the cup gratefully.

"Thanks, Cor," he said, his voice as grateful as his expression. "I need this today."

"You could do with some sleep," Cole said to Jamison.

"And I'll get some sleep, when this is all over," Jamison said. "Until then, there are more important things to focus on."

"Someone's determined," Val said. "Anyone coming forward yet?"

"I can't tell you that, sorry," Jamison said. "We promised confidentiality."

Val tilted her head to the side a little, curiosity on her face despite no doubt knowing the answers to her own questions. "So the Academy is really going to protect students instead of punish them for drugs? Even prescription drugs, since they're being obtained illegally."

"It's not like it's kids just deciding to do drugs," Jamison said. "A lot of them were pressured into it by people working for the Doctor, or at least that's what we're pretty sure happened. We'd rather forgive the students if it encourages them to come forward so we can protect the rest of the students."

"I guess that is a smart way to look at it," Val said. "Do you guys think you'll actually catch the leader of all of this?"

"We're going to do our best," Jamison said, determination coating his words.

"This Doctor guy is so pathetic, he's got to target vulnerable kids," Cole said in disgust. "Can't wait to take the guy down."

"He's already shown there's potential for a drug market in the area. Even if you catch him, someone else will probably just step up," I said. "Even if you do catch the Doctor, there's no guarantee you'll catch everyone working for him. Even one missed target could start the whole cycle over again."

"Then we push for more drug education to lower the victim pool. We keep this coming forward policy in place for future students. We tackle the cycle before it can get going again," Jamison said. "Just because there's a chance it'll start again, it doesn't mean we shouldn't bother to end it now."

Logic versus emotion. It always came down to that with us.

"Hey, they're your sleepless nights, not mine," I said with a shrug.

"I'll take sleepless nights if it means saving kids from a drug lord," Jamison said.

"You both have points," Cole said. "But Jamison is right, and we need to put an end to this guy. If someone else rises up in his place, we'll put a stop to them, too. Some battles are endless, but you've got to keep fighting because losing isn't an option."

"Let's get on a lighter topic," Val said. "You're all getting so worked up about this."

"Sorry, sorry, you're right," Jamison said.

"Hey, not that I'm missing him, but where's Kieran? Usually by now he'd be over here picking a fight," Cole said.

"Mia said he signed off campus to help his mom," Val said. "So you're spared from a fight with him for now."

"He skipped class to help his mom?" Cole said in surprise. "She must be getting pretty bad then."

"We wouldn't know. He never mentions her," Val said, though I was positive she knew all about Kieran's mom. I wasn't even sure what she was sick with. Hell, I hadn't even known she was sick until recently.

"Shame. She was a nice lady," Cole mumbled.

I couldn't ask them what she was sick with. They thought I'd taunted Kieran about it, and if I revealed that I hadn't, they might figure out that Kieran hitting me had been staged.

"We all have our struggles," I said instead.

Yea, it sucked Kieran's mom was sick. That didn't excuse him from beating the shit out of people. But that was all on Kieran, and by the end of the schoolyear, it wouldn't matter to me what his reasons were for doing what he did.

Val got up, stretching a little. "Since someone didn't think to get coffee for the rest of us, I'm going to grab a cup and some dessert. You want any, Cole?"

"Yea, sure, thanks," Cole said.

Val went off to grab coffee. Cole leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. He hesitated before looking over at Jamison.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if she hadn't gotten sick?" he said.

Jamison stared down at his coffee. "It doesn't matter. She did get sick, and he changed. Don't dwell on it, Cole."

But Cole was fidgeting with his red bracelet. "I know, Jamie."

Brothers. Cole and Kieran had been like brothers. Those bracelets still shackled them despite the tension that came about whenever they were near each other.

I thought about Aria. She'd given me a hair tie once, told me to hold onto it for her. I'd put it on my wrist and forgotten about it until I showered that night. The next day, I'd slipped it back on my wrist and asked her at school if she wanted it back.

She'd told me no, it was mine to keep. She'd teased me that someday maybe my hair be long enough to need it.

So I'd kept it on my wrist, never taking it off. Absentmindedly playing with it when I was bored. Twisting it around my wrist whenever I thought of Aria when she stayed home sick from school.

Then one day, it broke. I wore long sleeves to try to hide the fact from Aria, but she noticed. She said it was okay that the hair tie broke.

"Someday, I'll find you a bracelet that'll never break," she'd told me.

"Everything breaks," I'd said.

"Not everything," she'd said. The conversation ended there, and she'd taken my hand, pulling me along with her.

I looked down at my wrist now. It was bare, no hair ties, no unbreakable bracelet.

No Aria.

"Here," Val said, sitting back down and sliding coffee to Cole. She had a plate with a slice of cheesecake on it, but cut it in half and moved the plate so it was between herself and Cole. She handed him a fork.

"You and Jamison can suffer, since you didn't share coffee with us," Val said.

"You and Cole have fun being fat," I said.

"It'll keep me warm in the winter," Cole said, patting his stomach.

Jamison rolled his eyes. "I'll drag you to the gym myself. Your health is important."

"We work out together all the time," Cole groaned. "Leave me alone, dad. I want cheesecake."

Val laughed a little. "Look what you've started, Cor. Don't shame people for enjoying their desserts."

"Eat what you want. It's not my body to look after," I said.

"And it's not your cheesecake to eat," Val said, forking a bite into her mouth.

"Looks like we have a war at the table," Jamison said, getting up. "I'll be back."

"Be healthy," Cole mocked.

Jamison ignored that and left. He came back a minute later with a piece of cheesecake, setting it between us and handing me a fork.

"There, now we're even," he said.

"I'm not even that hungry," I said, but picked at the cheesecake anyways. Let's be real, was I really going to say no to cheesecake?

Jamison didn't bother cutting the slice in half. Instead, we just picked at it until we were both full, setting our forks on the nearly empty plate.

Cole checked the time. "We'd better head to the Nest, Jamie. We've got to deliver those papers to the headmaster before class starts."

"Thanks for letting us sit with you guys," Jamison said, getting up and grabbing his bag. "I'll see you in class, Cor."

"Yea, sure," I said. "See you."

"Bye!" Val said, waving to them.

They left, heading down the stairs. Val turned to me, a grin emerging on her face.

"Someone got a little too attached to Jamison Heitor," she teased.

I turned my head left, then right, then looked up. Val raised an eyebrow.

"What?" she said.

"Oh, nothing, really. I was just looking for how that's any of your business," I said.

"He has a sense of humor!" she said, the grin returning. "Maybe that's what Jamison sees in you. It's certainly not your charm. You're interesting, but rude as hell."

"Maybe I wouldn't be rude as hell if you weren't a massive bitch," I suggested.

"There's the extent of your charm," she said.

"And the extent of my patience. Drop the topic," I said.

"You know he's just using you for information," Val said.

But was he? I'd thought that at first too. Of course I had. I wasn't an idiot.

But the thing was, Jamison hadn't pressured me for information. He hadn't tried to distract me and sneak answers. It was more than using me.

It was that sincerity, mixed in with that ruthlessly cold indifference. It was a smile and trust covering the pitfall into cruelty. It was Jamison, complex and ever-changing.

"You have a type, you know," Val said. "He's very similar to Aria."

I shot her a glare. "That's not dropping the topic."

"Just pointing it out," she said with a shrug.

I turned my head away from her, observing the movement in the dining hall instead. Val was wrong. Aria and Jamison were different.

Weren't they?

I shook it off, ignoring Val until it was time to head back to class. Kieran still hadn't showed back up, and Mia paid no attention to me. The last few lectures of the day were slow, but I forced myself to focus so I could think about something other than Jamison and Aria.

When classes finally let out, I gathered my stuff, feeling relieved. I'd go do my homework, then I could just relax for the night.

But then Mia moved past me. "Kieran's room. He texted me to meet him there. He wants you and Val there, too."

"Goddammit," I said miserably, hoisting my bag over my shoulder and following Mia out of the room.

We walked back to the dorms, where Val was waiting for us. The three of us went inside and to Kieran's room together, Mia knocking on the door.

"It's us," she said.

Kieran pulled the door open, letting us in. Once we were seated, he shut the door and moved towards his chair.

But I instantly picked up on the fact that he was injured. He stayed hunched over just the slightest, and he was favoring one leg. He arm stayed close to his side, stiff.

"What happened?" Mia said, narrowing her eyes, noticing his state as well.

Kieran tugged his shirt up, revealing a parade of bruises. He rolled his pant leg up, showing more bruises. I could see some peeking out from his sleeve, too.

"You said you went to see your mom," Mia snapped.

"I did go to see my mom. And then I went to see the Doctor. He wasn't happy that there's nothing I can do in this situation," Kieran said. "He wants results, and I can't get them. He tried another method of persuasion." He touched his ribs and winced a little. "If we're not doing his work, we're worthless to him."

"You were his best Collector," Mia said.

"Until Jamison fucked me over," Kieran said. "The Doctor told me to figure something out by the end of the week, or he'd cut me off. And I have a feeling he'll send me off with a message."

"Uh-oh," Val said.

Mia looked away from Kieran. "Maybe it's for the best if he cuts you off."

"I need that money," Kieran said.

"Find another way to get it," Mia said.

"My mom is dying!" Kieran snapped. "I don't have time to find a job and work my way up the ranks to a good paycheck. I need money now, and I don't care what the fuck it takes to get that money. You can take your precious time building funds, but I can't."

Mia stood up, her glare matching Kieran's. "Take my precious time building funds? You think I have that luxury? I can't wait to get out of that house. Kenz ruined my life. At least your mom forgets your mistakes."

Kieran clenched his fists. "Don't you ever say that about my mom again. Run your fucking mouth, take the fucking consequences for it."

"Go ahead and fight me. You won't win. And hitting me won't fix your mom. Maybe it is time we leave the Doctor and find real jobs," Mia said.

Kieran tugged on his hair in frustration. "I don't have time. My mom doesn't have time." Shock hit me as I saw the slightest build-up of tears in Kieran's eyes. He blinked rapidly and they disappeared, but his face was furious, desperate. "She doesn't have time. She choked yesterday because she couldn't remember how to swallow. She's..."

Some of the tension left Mia's body, though she didn't drop her guard. "Then she'll die and be gone. Are you really going to lose your future for someone who won't be in it?"

"Shut up," Kieran said, voice shaking. "Shut the fuck up."

Even Val was smart enough to keep her mouth shut right now. She shot me an unnecessary warning look to do the same.

"They screwed us over and still ended up on top of the world. Life isn't fair. Cry about it some more and see if it changes," Mia said, heading for the door. "If you stay with the Doctor, I'll do what I've always done. But the Crows are forcing our hand again, and this time maybe we can have the winning cards. There's a world outside of the Collectors, but we'll never know if we end up behind bars."

She left, shutting the door. Kieran looked down at himself, as if he could see his bruises through his clothes. His expression hardened and he looked over at me and Val.

"What can you do?" he asked.

"Nothing, really," I said. "We could loop the video feeds, but patrols would catch you, and the Crows will probably be keeping an eye on our rooms to make sure no one sneaks out." I paused, thinking it over. "You'll yell at me for saying this, but it is an option. You could go forward and admit your involvement. The Academy has the confidentiality and no-punishment policies on the matter right now."

Kieran barked a laugh. "Don't be a moron, Jpeg. Jamison would bypass all of that to get me arrested for my involvement. Cole and the others would help him."

"Your wrist says otherwise," I said.

Kieran looked down at his wrist, where his red bracelet was dangling. He shoved it up his arm, grabbing a jacket and shrugging it on, pulling the sleeve so the bracelet was hidden.

"Turning ourselves in is not an option," he said.

"Cor's right. It is an option. It's just not a good one," Val said. She looked thoughtful, no sign of concern or unease at the situation. "You can't even use your mom as an excuse, since if they ask, Darby will tell them you weren't actually there. Any way you could pretend to run errands for your mom but pull off a job instead?"

"No," he said. "Darby runs all her errands. And it's not like I could send Darby off and then leave my mom to do a job."

"Alzheimer's?" I said, judging by the inability to swallow correctly.

"Early on-set," Kieran said, his voice bitter. "Very early. It's been ten years since she was diagnosed. The doctor figures she had it for at least a year or two before that, though."

"So the money is...what, medication or something?" I said.

"My mom gets disability, my dad works full-time, and has side jobs when he's not doing work for the navy. But Darby is my mom's full-time caretaker, and that's not cheap. Plus there..." He clenched his fists, wincing at the pain it caused him. "There are funeral costs to consider. Medical costs to afford."

"And Jamison is using that against you now," I said.

Should I be disgusted? Jamison was using Kieran's dying mother to trap him into a confession. But he was doing it to protect students from getting pulled into the spiral of drugs. His goals were admirable, but his methods were horrific.

"If you two aren't going to be of any help, then just leave. I need to think," Kieran said.

"Think all you want. I don't see a way out of this," Val said, jumping up and pulling me with her. "Face it, Kier. It was fun while it lasted, but the game's nearing its end."

"I'm not giving up. I don't like losing," Kieran said.

"Might want to plan for your funeral as well, then," Val said, pulling me out of the room. Once we were a safe distance from his room, Val let out a sigh. "It's not as fun anymore. Jamison pulled out a big play."

"It was never fun. It was always just about keeping it a secret," I said.

"So much for that, huh?" she said, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "I'm getting bored of this game. I hope someone makes it exciting again."

"We're not here for your entertainment," I said, unlocking my door as we reached my room. I put my hand out to stop Val from entering. "Go. I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

"Rejecting your own friend," she said with a frown. "You know, I'm a very good friend to have right now."

"I'll take my chances." I shut the door in her face, making sure the lock click was as audible as I could possibly make it.

I sat down on my bed, letting my bag drop to the floor. I'd lost the motivation to do my homework.

We were trapped. Everything was spiraling to its conclusion, and it didn't look good for us. We were a group of Collectors, but they were a murder of Crows.

I fell back on my bed, closing my eyes, hating my thoughts. They should be on how to fix this. They should be planning to help Kieran. They should be making plans to save myself.

Instead, they were on what would happen to me and Jamison. Would he crumble the Doctor's empire, knowing I'd be buried in the rubble?

An enigma. Just another unanswered question concerning a boy with more mysteries than truths.

I never should've kissed him.

I never should've wanted more.

But I wanted to kiss him.

And, god, I wanted so much more.