: Chapter 7

Most of the time, I was left alone.

I spent my time in my bedroom then went to the church to see the other angels. I’d only crossed paths with half of them, and Laura was almost always there, sitting in a row and staring blankly ahead. Beatrice would come and bring Claire with her, and she and I would color so Beatrice could have her time to be by herself.

The sun rose and fell—but nothing changed.

I walked up the hill at sunset, heading to the church to spend my evening with whoever was there. On the way, I passed members of the Malevolent—because they were always around. Keeping their distance, they followed me with their eyes as I passed, taking in my features with the same interest even though they saw me every day.

I stopped and stared at one who stood outside of a cabin.

When he felt my stare, he stilled further, meeting my gaze without blinking, his arms by his sides.

Everything about him infuriated me. That stupid skull, his open eyes, his existence entirely. They were less scary here, either because I was used to them or because they seemed to have no intention of harming me. But in the streets of Paris and at the theater, they were so out of place that it was innately terrifying. It made my soul scream. But here… They belonged here.

I continued to stare at him, feeling so much anger toward every single person here, capturing us and believing we were angels just because we were beautiful. I took a step toward him, moving off the path and onto the dirt.

He immediately stepped back, mirroring my actions.

I stopped, surprised that he moved away. “You afraid of me?”

Silence.

I took another step toward him.

He moved back again.

“I asked you a question.”

Nothing.

“You just stand out here all day and night with that stupid skull on your head? What’s the point? You don’t have anything better to do with your time?”

All I received was a blank stare, his eyes visible between the bones of the eye sockets.

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” I turned back to the path and continued on my way.

This time, he followed me.

I stopped and looked at him over my shoulder.

He stilled.

My eyes narrowed. “Don’t follow me.” I moved forward again.

His footsteps were audible on the cobblestone.

I turned back around. “Did you hear what I said?”

He slowly cocked his head sideways, like a dog trying to understand its owner, and there was something so weird about that.

Furious, I marched to him with my palms out, ready to shove him back and down the hill.

But he ran, getting away from me as fast as he could.

“That’s what I thought—bitch.” I moved toward the church again.

But he followed me…again.

I didn’t bother trying to chase him away. They were a dime a dozen, and there was no escape. At least the most intrusive thing about them was their stares. I wasn’t afraid that they would grab me or hurt me. If they intended to do that, it probably would have happened by now.

I made it to the church, the lawn out front containing the graveyard of the women who would never escape this place. The demons realized they weren’t true angels—and the women paid with their lives.

I stopped when I noticed something out of place.

One of the graves had been dug up. The headstone was still there, and a pile of dirt was beside it, like someone had grabbed a shovel and dug six feet until the remains of some poor soul had been found.

It hadn’t been that way just yesterday.

I remembered because I looked at them every single day, thinking about the women who had come before me, who had suffered at the hands of these freaks.

Then I heard the sound of an engine, something approaching in the sky, the noise faint but quickly elevating. I ignored the grave and looked up, expecting to see a plane flying overhead.

It was a helicopter.

It was the first airborne thing I’d seen in the sky since I got here. Planes didn’t seem to fly above this space. Even in the far distance, I’d never seen exhaust from a plane. The sky was always totally open.

Until now.

When it crossed the sky, the sound was deafening, audible to everyone in the camp. It flew past the trees and then started to descend.

“Oh my god…” It was landing.

Here.

I resisted the urge to run and draw attention to myself, so I walked slowly down the path, aware of the Malevolent who never pulled their gazes from my face. I lifted the hem of my dress and made the trip back to my cabin, my heart pounding in my throat, freedom at my fingertips. It was probably an ally who had come to deliver something, but I would investigate every detail I could find.

By the time I made it down toward the bottom of the camp near the field, I could see the five men facing Forneus and the Malevolent. A duffel bag was dropped in front of them, and the guy in the front didn’t lower his gaze to look at what was delivered.

But I recognized the blond man slightly behind him…with those blue eyes…those shoulders…the wetness in his gaze.

He was here for Beatrice and Claire.

I moved quicker, ignoring the Malevolent that quickly started to descend on me like they knew I was about to run for it.

If this was my only chance, I was going to take it.

Benton’s expression was indescribable, like he didn’t know if he should sob or scream.

I didn’t understand what was going on—until it dawned on me.

Benton lunged for Forneus, pulling out a knife from nowhere. The man in black pushed him back, and then Benton pulled out a gun and fired, but his arm was pushed to the sky, so the bullet missed its target.

One of the men grabbed the bag and left with the group.

I started to run, run as fast as I could.

“Motherfucker!” Benton screamed so loud, it sounded like he was right beside me. “I’m coming for you—”

I ignored the Malevolent who rushed me, and I kept running. I watched Benton and his crew leave the camp and return to the chopper parked yards away, the bag containing the bones of someone else. “Ben—”

A hand was clasped over my mouth, and his name died on my tongue. An arm crossed over my throat, and I was immediately choked. And just like the moment when I was captured, I was slowly pulled to the earth, the height of the trees surrounding me, my mind fading into oblivion.

When I opened my eyes, I was back in my bed, on top of the covers with my wings below me. The Christmas lights glowed above my bed, and the darkness from the window told me several hours had passed.

And then Claire’s face came into my sight. “Constance, are you okay?” Her sweet voice entered my mind, made waking up in this hell much easier. “Mom, her eyes are open.”

Beatrice’s face appeared next. “You okay? The Malevolent put you in here… We didn’t know what happened.”

I blinked a couple times before I sat up, everything coming back to me like it was a dream I was trying to hold on to. “Yeah, I’m fine.” My fingers moved through my hair, and I felt the weight at my back from the wings. “I… The helicopter.” I turned to Beatrice, remembering the scene clearly. “I heard a helicopter.”

“Yes, I heard it too.” She sat beside me on the bed and placed her hand against my back, finding the hidden zipper and pulling it down so the material fell from my shoulders. She knew better than anyone how heavy those wings could be, and the first thing we wanted to do when we were in our cabins was take them off.

Flashbacks moved across my mind, Benton trying to kill Forneus, the bag that was taken with him when he departed. The rest was a blur because I had been taken down, a heavy arm pressed into my throat so all I could do was collapse. Once the vision left, I looked at Beatrice, stared at her with a fresh mind.

She seemed to understand me telepathically because she turned to Claire. “Baby, could you give us a minute?”

“But is she okay?” Claire asked, still looking at me like my well-being was all that mattered to her.

I forced a smile as I stared at her, seeing those same blue eyes that Benton had, that same blond hair. The rest of her features were from Beatrice, but she definitely had a lot from her father. It broke my heart, seeing the way her father had been dragged away…heartbroken. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about me.”

When she heard it from my mouth, she returned to their bedroom and disappeared from view.

Beatrice turned back to me and immediately cut to the chase. “What happened?” She was in white jeans and a matching top, making the contrast of her dark hair even deeper. Every woman held as a prisoner in this camp had brown hair—except Claire.

“I saw Benton.”

Her reaction was instinctual, sucking in her breath and widening her eyes. “He’s here?”

“He was… He’s gone now.”

“What happened?”

“He landed in that chopper with a crew. They talked to Forneus for a while. He was given a bag…and then he tried to kill Forneus. I think…I think he came for you guys, and then Forneus lied and said you were already dead.”

“Why do you think that?” Her reaction started to dim again, her eyes slowly returning to their normal size, defeat snaking into her veins and her bones. “Did you hear what they said?”

“No, but Benton’s expression made it pretty clear that he was devastated.” I had seen the shine of tears even through the distance that had separated us. I’d seen grief in its purest form, watched a man go through each of the stages in a microsecond and then lunge to get his revenge. “I’d gone to the graveyard just before…and one of the graves had been dug up.”

She started to breathe harder, her eyes filling with tears. “No…”

My own eyes started to water, imagining the painful lie that Benton had to carry.

“He thinks we’re dead.” She faced forward and let her head fall into her palms, breathing hard as she had a silent breakdown, as she closed herself off from the world because reality was too traumatic to process.

I knew our hopes for rescue had been destroyed, but I considered my situation preferable to his. He thought that bag contained his daughter’s remains, that unspeakable things had been done to her and he took too long to get here. He had to go back to his life with that burden on his chest, knowing his daughter was dead and her spirit was in a place he couldn’t follow. I was in hell, but he was somewhere worse.

When she dropped her palms, there were drops on her cheeks from her tears, rivers of black mascara smeared against her skin. “He’s not coming back. No one is coming for us. We’re stuck here…and we’ll die here.”

I turned back to her, seeing the raw defeat, seeing the way she’d given up before she’d even tried. “We aren’t going to die here, Beatrice. We’ll find a way out, alright? It might take a while, but we will. Don’t give up hope.”

“Come on…” She sniffled and looked at me. “The only way we’re getting out of here is if—”

“We try.” My hand moved to hers, and I gripped it. When everyone panicked, it somehow made me calmer. When everyone gave up, it made me try harder. I was never the leader in any scenario, but once that position was permanently vacant, I had to fill it…because no one else would. “We must try, Beatrice. Each of us is fighting the clock, because they’ll eventually figure out we aren’t really angels and they’ll replace us with another batch. So, we need to work together and find a solution. I understand you feel hopeless because I feel hopeless too, but think of Claire. She’s got two parents. Benton did his best…and now it’s your turn.”

I was guided through the dark by Rebecca, who led the way with a torch, taking me through the camp where the Malevolent watched me from their shadows. Wearing the wings regularly caused my shoulders to be sore. It was like wearing a backpack stuffed with textbooks all the time.

I made it to the building with no windows, the dark church where Forneus awaited my arrival. The Malevolent didn’t scare me as much as they had before because they were clearly bottom-feeders here, just henchmen with a mindless purpose. But Forneus did scare me…because he was clearly insane.

The door was locked behind me like last time, the room was lit with hundreds of candles, and the space smelled like decades of melted wax and dust. He sat on his iron throne, his hands gripping the jagged edges, his eyes down on the floor and his sinister smile gone.

I lowered myself into my white throne and clutched the edges, forcing my body to relax despite the anxiety in my chest. Laura warned me that their rules were easily broken, and just because they said you were safe didn’t mean you actually were. Now I was more timid, my guard as high as it could go.

I’d told Rebecca that I wasn’t an angel—and now I feared that might get me killed.

The best way to survive this place was to be whatever they wanted, even though it made me sick to my stomach to play out their twisted fantasy. It was submission—and I didn’t want to submit to these demons and monsters.

But I had to survive.

His gaze remained on the floor, deep in thought, as if he wasn’t aware that I had joined him at all.

I didn’t dare speak. We could sit here in silence all night—fine by me.

“Angel.” He lifted his gaze and directed his brown eyes on me, a plea in his gaze. “I repent, I ask for forgiveness, I vow to be different…but then I go back to my old ways. I want to walk with the angels, but I simply don’t know how.”

What the fuck was I supposed to say to that? What would Laura say? How had she done this for two years? I’d skimmed a lot of the books on my shelf, not to understand the material, but to understand what I was dealing with. I used it to my advantage. “To be alive is to sin. To be divine is to ask for forgiveness. Any man who walks this earth will live his life this way. But repentance will open the gates at the end of this journey.”

His eyes narrowed slightly on my face, as if those words caused an evocative reaction in his mind. His stare continued for seconds, and those seconds turned into minutes. The light from the flames cast slight shadows across his face, highlighting his high cheekbones. “Then I ask for forgiveness once more.”

“What was your sin, Forneus?” He seemed to be the man in charge of this place, and the more I learned about him, the more information I would have to get free.

“I bore false witness.”

I wondered if he was referring to Benton.

He took his time before he continued. “I told a man that his lover and daughter were dead—and that was a lie.” He bent one arm so he could rest his closed knuckles against his cheek, looking defeated, as if he actually felt guilty for what he’d done, even though he would do it again if given the chance.

“Why?” I dropped my angel persona because I needed to know this information, to understand exactly what had happened yesterday. “Why did you lie to him?”

“S-so he wouldn’t re-turn.” His pattern of speech abruptly changed without warning. His mood was the same, but something inside him was different. “I’ll never let them go, s-so it’s easier this way…eas-s-ier for him to move on.”

I gripped the edges of the chair and felt the rage pound in my ears. I wanted to rush him for hurting Benton that way, for separating a family due to his own cruelty. I’d only spoken to Benton once, but I felt like I knew him, like I’d known him my whole life. “What will you do with the girl?” I hadn’t seen any signs of interest toward Claire. They seemed to leave her alone, leave all of us alone. But I wasn’t stupid enough to believe it would always stay that way. Just the thought of them looking at her made me so angry that I thought I might break off the edges of my throne.

He looked across the room, his eyes lidded. “The Divine.”

That didn’t answer my question at all, but I couldn’t press him. I had to inch my way around the conversation without provoking him. If it felt like an interrogation, he would grow suspicious, and that suspicion would get me killed.

“This is the first time we’ve had The Divine here. She will grow into the most powerful angel we’ve ever had.”

Did he just make this shit up?

“She’ll save us all. We just have to wait.”

I stared into his eyes and saw everything beneath the surface. I saw the darkness of his corrupted mind, of his demonic soul, of the pure insanity that couldn’t be remotely understood. This man was beyond help.

He held my gaze in return, like he was searching for my own truth. “You blocked the windows in the church. Why?”

I was careful with my answer. “Angels need privacy to do their work.”

He seemed to accept that answer because he was quiet.

The silence stretched again, as if he expected me to say something, to lead this strange confessional. “What are your other sins, Forneus? How else can I help you redeem yourself?” What were his other crimes? What else did he do at this camp? I knew there was far more to this place than met the eye.

He looked away, his eyes darting to the sea of candles displayed around the aisles. “My last angel was unable to absolve me of my crimes. For years, I searched for her replacement, someone with the light and grace to truly elevate me. Then I saw you…gliding across the stage…with your wings so graceful. That was the first hope I’ve felt in a long time. A ve-ry long ti-me.” He turned back to me. “Because I’ve done horrible things, things I can’t control. The demon comes forth and takes over…and I lose control. My mother was so good to me, but I killed her. Father grieved, hated me for what I’d done, so I killed him too. I’ve killed every family member I’ve ever had.” He looked into my eyes with a reflective expression, but he didn’t look apologetic about the heinous admissions. “My family lin-e-age shouldn’t con-tin-ue. I need to be the las-s-t of my kind—for humanity.”

Oh Jesus. He was a serial killer.

He killed his last angel when she didn’t meet his expectations.

I would be next…at some point.

A table was beside him with a jar on top of it, so he opened the lid and pulled out two tablets. “We must ascend now.”

Ascend? I had no idea what he was talking about.

He leaned forward with the small capsule between his fingertips and waited for me to take it.

“What is it…?”

“Med-ic-ine.” He was immobile, stonelike, still holding the capsule for me to take.

I didn’t see any way to get out of this. The door was locked, and if I defied him, he might lose his temper and kill me.

“An-gel.”

I didn’t want to put that stupid pill in my mouth, but I had no choice. It was probably drugs, and I’d never taken drugs, not even smoked marijuana. But it would pass through my system, and then it would be over.

I took the pill and placed it in my mouth.

He continued to study me, like he knew I wouldn’t swallow it. His eyes pierced my skin, as if he could see the inside of my throat and the pill tucked into the side of my cheek. He grabbed a second pill and held it up, as if he were waiting for me to swallow before he took his.

I forced it down my throat with a swallow, hating myself for participating in this nightmare.

He popped the pill into his mouth and swallowed it dry. Then he relaxed into the chair, dropping his stiff posture and sinking into the iron, crossing one ankle and resting it on the opposite knee. That sinister smile came back on to his face, and he focused his stare on my face, watched me without blinking, his mirth palpable in the air around us.

Palpable in my own heart.

Run.

I tripped and landed hard on the ground.

The Malevolent surrounded me, their faces pressed down against mine, just inches away, their open stares drilling deep into my bones. They crowded me, surrounded me, created a solid barrier around me.

The earth was cold, and my warm breaths bounced off the cobblestones beneath me and hit me in the face, the humidity disappearing into the sky like smoke. “Leave me alone!” I pushed off the cobblestones and got to my feet, shifting forward and almost losing my footing because I was weak and confused, the darkness and the shadows blending together into one.

It’s not real.

It will pass.

Just stay calm.

You got this.

I kept going, seeing the Malevolent right beside me every step of the way, following me in a herd like cattle.

Forneus’s voice came from the sky, the ground, my mind. “Let our angel guide us.”

I started to run harder, moving to the tree line and into the darkness, my bare feet slicing on the rocks and branches beneath me. The pain was distant, but I knew I was injured. There was no cobblestone pathway anymore. Now there were just stars between the branches of the trees, the moonlight giving the dark sky a slight glow. It turned quiet, and it felt like I was alone, alone in the middle of nowhere…with nowhere to go.

But I kept going.

Branches scratched my face as I passed through the trees. An owl screeched, and I tripped and fell to the ground once more. The monsters in the dark pressed around me, and they were worse than the Malevolent. Yellow eyes stared at me in the darkness, the wolves and the bears coming to see the intruder in their forest. “Help me…” I pushed my palms to the earth and raised my body, reminding myself that none of this was real, that I could conquer my mind.

I rose to my feet once more, but I stayed on the spot, seeing the woodland animals surrounding me, the Malevolent, and then I saw Forneus in his true form.

His demon form.

Like the statues spread throughout the camp, he had large, jagged teeth, horns on his head, several arms and several legs, and a long tail that had thorns as sharp as a knife at the end. His grin was there, grinning at my suffering, grinning at my demise.

But I closed my eyes and blocked it out.

“It’s not real.” If I told myself that enough times, I would believe it. I forced out the sounds of the grunts, of the screams, of the heavy footfalls that surrounded me, descended to capture me and drag me away. “It’s not real.” I focused, conquered the drug in my system, blocked out the sound.

And then it was silent.

All I could hear was my deep and uneven breathing.

All I could hear was the wind through the trees.

And then I heard…the sound of a river.

My eyes opened and focused ahead, drilling through the darkness to see a glimmer of the moonlight on water.

This was real.

My breathing suddenly slowed, my heart rate settled back to its steady beat, and I embraced the gift the forest had given me.

I stepped forward and moved across the ground, using the light of the moon to avoid the rocks and the branches. A clear night had given me the gift of the stars, and I looked ahead to study them, to remember what I was looking at and where I was.

I saw the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and the North Star.

Remember this.

Remember.

I kept walking until I reached the river. It was wide across, the water loud against the rocks on the edges. I couldn’t cross it, the stream was too strong, and it was too broad. But I kneeled at the edge and pressed my hand into the water.

It was ice-cold.

It was real.

I placed both of my hands into it and relished the coldness. I bent over and pressed my face to the earth, letting the water trickle past my cold hands, my lifeline out of there. I thanked God for guiding me here, for showing me the path out of this hellhole once he could touch me.

God didn’t exist in that place—but he existed in me.