Christmas

This chapter goes to serve as a testament to why I can't have female friends. No matter how much I may want to.

So, did I mention, I also had a five minute friendship fling with a female. First days of College. You might think this is a silly fallout but you won't get it, I'm sensitive.

So, I met Christmas back when we were in high school. We weren't close much but it was adequate for us to become buddies first week of school.

I have to be honest, she wasn't my first preference in friendship but both of us being new in a strange new world..., there were desperate time, and desperate times call for desperate measures.

I have to admit. It was very convenient, I mean, she had no friends, I had no friends, it only made sense. If I'm being honest, the thing which drew me to her is that she worshipped me.

Or at least I thought she did and she did things that made me think she did. So Christmas, I'm sorry girl, but if you didn't worship me, you're now gonna go down in history as the girl who worshipped me.

I mean, she was obsessed with my clothes, she liked my hair. She was infatuated with all the stories I told her about my life and I liked that she liked that, because being the very dramatic being that I am, I obviously had new things to share everyday and talking is my therapy. Christmas also thought that I was pretty and always praised me for my looks and I liked that she liked that I was pretty. She thought I was the absolute baddie and I loved that image she saw. Or at least I think she thought, you would never know whats concealed in someone's heart. But for the part that I saw, she praised me and i loved the master -slave dynamic. Metaphorically.

I loved playing master-servant with her. I always felt that the power dynamics were in my favour. She was the perfect obedient submissive persona that I wanted her to be.

Or I am a big narcissist and I think that the world revolves around me, but aren't we all. Don't we all have that one person, barely friend which we have all taken for granted. And would you blame me.

I mean, we are all prejudicial, it's not my fault that the only thing which was interesting about Christmas was the fact that she couldn't stop pining over a boy who didn't want her.

Fuck. I'm toxic. This is why I'm single and this is why I don't have any friends.

Anyways , we did everything together her and I, if she needed makeup I was her go to girl, if she needed fashion advice I was her person. I was her everything. The stream was two way, I also saw her as human don't worry.

The fallout came one day. I was hanging out with my people doing something important. Then she was like hey, why don't you come outside so we can get that thing you have always wanted. And I was feeling lazy and since I was with people , I told her I'm like I'm busy blah blah blah. She said just come. And I was like fuck okay. I went to her. Even walked a distance. Then I went to her. Then she was like. Oh look ,theres a queue, let's go back to the dorms and come back later after lunch.

And I'm like bro, you have been here the entire time. Hadn't you noticed there was a huge line before you brought me out of here. I told you I was busy, in the middle of something, but you insisted now I'm here, and you're like, nah let's go back. How dare you want to waste my time. I'm like, did you just want a babysitter to walk you wherever you needed princess. Don't get it twisted. I'm the boss here.

And this is more about the principle of the whole thing rather than me getting the particular item I wanted.

I walked back to my room. I didn't talk to her ever since that day. And I never intended or thought to talk to her. She initially thought I was angry and I was gonna cool down. She thought I was being dramatic, which I always am, well how is that for drama. I never talked to her ever again the whole semester.

And in return she also blocked me on social media. How.dramatic, I taught her well. Lol.

I didn't realise she had blocked me until, I was sleeping it was like around midnight, then she texted me and she was like, hie, who is this? I mean can you imagine.

I still had her number so I could instantly tell it was her. And so I was  like, "what the fuck do you mean, who is this. Who did you think it was when you texted me bruh?"

And I don't want to misrepresent facts, so I'll show the other side of the story. I think to some degree she even also thought she was the boss in our little collaboration.

After she texted me, she later apologised for the incident, she texted me on my socials, but I was not looking back. There was no regular communication from then on, and I was not interested in it. And neither was she I think, because when she got my number, all she did was send me messages advertising her business ventures. Thinking of she praised how.much of a baddie I am, I would be enticed to buy. Propaganda.

She called me one day, when she urgently wanted something from me. I turned my phone off, and I blamed it on the network. She never confronted me about hanging up on her. I think she took reflection time and realised that she had no line of arguement where she to confront me about that incident. We haven't talked since.

If you know what's healthy, stay away from oestrogen.