Moon

Right, this one is very controversial. You know that persona that people think towards you which you aren't actually, but people not knowing you personally, just assume. Okay, so This boy brought out that side of me, the side I'm not actually, but people think I am, the side I want to actually be, but am too poor to bring it out.

Just in case you're wondering, people physically seeing me, they just assume I'm a mean girl, maybe baddie, maybe attention seeking, maybe boss bitch, or maybe just bitch to some. My appearance has always been a weapon fighting against me. Even when I'm quiet, I've always been told that I have "talking eyes". I don't know what that means, but I'm guessing its something sexual. But then I like that image, I like that perception, it helps me sideline my body dismorphia. Coz its like my sexy outer ego.

In fact the problem about me is, I'm not content with being mediocre, I don't wanna be just a basic baddie or just a nerd. I want to be a hardcore baddie, but I also want to be a hardcore nerd, i also want to lead. But people fear that blend. Iean, whosoever said these items where mutually exclusive. Anyways back to the story....

So anyways, Moon brought this side out of me. I met two Moon's in my college career actually, and how very different they are.

Moon 1 was older, did the same program as me, and thought he could tame me. He thought he could make me wifey. Shame. We went for a drive once. Moon 1 if you're reading this, I'm human not a machine, I don't eat air. Anyways, so this nigga, we went for a drive then we went up to his room afterwards. Boys of this century think, if you smell their petrol, then they can automatically hit! I don't know where that delusion comes from!

But anyways, so this particular Moon...

I'm sorry but, no matter how much he brushed his teeth or drank something, I would always feel like there's some bad breath lingering in the back of his nasal and oral cavity. Like I don't blame you, but I feel you should just go see a dentist. Anyways I hated kissing him but first days, I have to admit, he knew how to work it with his boob game.

The problem about him though is, he was sadly delusional, we had the talk and I let it be known that I'm a virgin in the first week of our talking stage. Suddenly he is under the impression that i was gonna let him fuck me. Which is never going to happen by the way. But he saw himself as a knight in shining armour, he saw me as his first ever opportunity to pop a cherry.

So, I met Moon, for the first time one fateful afternoon. I passed by the fancy boys dorms with my friend, and according to him, that's when he stalked me. When I came back from leaving my friend, he was there lurking in the parking lot. I made my way back. Thats when I saw a blue car, signal at me. He was sitting in the driver seat, and I could tell he was a cute guy. The problem is, he called me from a distance, and even if I wanted to stop and go back to him, I couldn't because i didnt want people around to realise how much of an attention lover i was. So I stopped in the Road. Then he drove up  to me then he asked for my number which I have him. I remember in that moment, my friend TPR, drove his car and blocked the road for Moon and he was like.

"You moon, leave my sister alone", i remember, that was the icing on the cake for me, I felt this boy was trouble and I was down for it.

So later than day, he called me. And he was like, I'm outside could you come for a sec and I was like cool. I went down, I remember being in this whole, white hoodie and skirt thing. I was feeling myself. And I just have to say, Moon has this aura about him, like, he is kinda intimidating and he is the type of guy that, when you don't want to take him seriously, you do anyways.

So, We were seated in his car.  He turned on the lights, and he was like, I wanted to see if you're really pretty. That intimidated me, it not the type thing you say aloud hello. Anyways , he thought, he still thinks I'm pretty.

He was like, let's go for a drive, maybe we can get something to eat, so we went to this food court, I was like, fuck it, lemme get myself a big ass pizza, so I did. We went up to his room afterwards and he started playing FIFA, and after his match, he decided he wanted to play me instead. Okay, till this day, that was the most intense unpleasant thing I've ever had done to me, but I feel I handled it maturely. He like, stuck up his hand up my thigh , in my skirt and up on my ass cheek slipping my panties to the side. Then he kissed me. I could tell.he wasn't a bad kisser, but for everything else, I was like, woah woah woah buddy, like whatchu doing. Like I'm sorry, but are you turning me on, like no, no l do not like that. Okay, maybe it's just because we don't know each other, hence I have no emotions towards you, that's why I'm not enjoying this. I left the room.

One time, he called me while I was coming from study session at the library, it was nearly midnight. We drove off to the sports area. Wo we were sitting there in his car and talking. Then he asked,

"Hey, do you have a boyfriend"

"No. You?"

"I wouldn't say I don't have. But it's all clouded with situationships"

"I said, I totally understand, since thats also like my predicament"

Me and Moon, I thought we had an agreement. I understood his predicament and I thought he understood mine , but men are men. You know, when I met Moon, I had a serious predicament going on, and him telling me about his predicaments only lightened up the situation. You see, Moon had everything that my serious situation lacked, adventure, intimidation and just that party atmosphere. Moon represented everything Tyler was not, and that gave me a thrill. I thought I could have my cake and eat it too.

I thought Moon and I were chilling, and I thought he thought we were just chilling, which we were but his testosterone got the better of him. Like I was his situationship and he was mine, but he wanted to do all this relationship stuff like exchange each other's room number, regular texts and phone calls and random visits and just knowing stuff about my life. And ohh, did I mention the jealousy, Moon was so jealous for no reason, he would always be like who you texting or stuff like that. Sometimes when I went to see him, he would be like, let me walk you back and I would be like no thanks then he would be like, why not, why won't you let me walk you. Do you have another man out there, are you embarrassed of me, and I'm like, bro chill, this is not that kind of relationship. I have to admit I had the power in that relationship.

But I have to admit, even I would get jealous sometimes. One time, I went to his room, he was with his friends and there was a bouquet of flowers in his room. I asked him if those fliwers were for his girlfriend and he deaduo lied to me. I'm like bro, they are roses , of course they are for a girl. A girl who is not me, so who else could it be. Another time, on my way to the library, l saw him parked outside this girls hostel, and so I ran to him like he had always wanted, I noticed in the front sit next to the drivers seat, there was a big cake. And being the smart chick that I am, the math, mathed and I was able to calculate the flowers and the cake, and realise, oh yeah, they are for his girlfriend. I have to admit, I got jealous, like super jealous like dead ass. I mean, you ain't never got me a cake before. Like?  Yeah, but I could always control my jealousy, later that evening he posted the girl with the caption happy birthday and everything just made sense again. Like no wonder he exaggerated my beauty, he had a ugly girlfriend. Sorry for slamming another girl, but she looks like the type of woman who will stand by you in your lowest times, and then when you make it, you take care of her, but you still dont inherit that expensive look.

But, if I'm talking about Moon, I have to admit, it's mostly good stuff I have to say about him, I had fun and he gave me exposure, if he was a great kisser and hadn't told me that he had other girlfriends I would have dated him.

Like honestly, what is wrong with me, why is it that most of the time, I'm not the girl who is worth lying to!

Anyways, Moon got me doing fun things, like kissing in back seats of a car, whether moving of stagnant. I felt like I could be the fakest version of myself around me and he wouldn't know. But he didn't come without him own drama. So one time , he called me, he was with two of his friends and I called my bestie and her friend and it became a whole thing. We went out had fun, had alcohol, took cute pics. It was adorable. I really enjoyed hanging out with the group, we played truth or dare, spin the bottle, and we even had a little sleepover. Well let's call it a half sleepover coz we woke up at 2 in the morning, to leave.

So the next day now, 2 of our friends we had hooked up, planned on seeing each other. So my bestie accompanied her. And she told me over text. She said she had met Moon and that Moon had made a move on her. She said that he walked her to her room and then tried to grab her ass in a hug and also that he asked for her number. I asked him about it and he denied it. He said that she probably misunderstood stuff but then he only walked her because his friend wanted to see the girl one on one so they wanted my bestie to leave. He said he asked for her number because it was for his other friend. He said that he wouldn't ask for her number considering that I had already given it to him earlier that morning to give to his friend from the sleepover. Honestly this was bullshit to.me. I told him, you can have any other girl you want, but my bestie is off limits. Then to her I said, this is just a guy I party with, he knows there is nothing there, so he was probably just horny. I didn't want my authority to be undermined. Which it didn't. But the whole situation is just still pieces for me, I guess only them two know the truth of events.

Honestly, coming into this chapter, I didn't think I was going to praise this guy as much as I am, but genuinely, he is a fuck boy, but a nice person. He is like the father of the group, he makes sure everyone has eaten, everyone is having fun and everyone is comfortable and I love that about him. Here is how he fucked up though.

One day, I was coming from a lecture, I walked my friend to the parking lot then I passed by Moons dorms so I was like, lemme go say hie to him. I went to his room. And he was skeptical about everything.

Started asking:

"Where are you coming from?"

"The terminus are you sure?"

"What were you doing there?"

"Which is the direction of the terminus? Wrong that's inaccurate!"

"Your clothes, you went to a lecture like that?"

"That's a lie!" To his friend, "hey does she look like she is coming from the terminus".

He said no, and I was like fuck this. The one time I try to be spontaneous, which is what you've fucken been begging for, you complain. The other time I had no makeup on and just oil, and he was skeptical, thought I had been making out and that I had a storm if sweat and cum on my face. That nigga. I'm like, why would it matter anyway, I'm not your girlfriend.

The other time, I was in my room and he texted me, asked me if I was outside and I was wearing some pink skirt. Told him no. Then he was like okay cool.

I still have his hoodie, and I don't intend to give it back, first coz it's pretty then second, it got me in trouble so I have suffered because of that hoodie, and now it's my reward. He called me towards end of semester. Wanted to see me, he didn't want me to leave without saying goodbye. Vi couldn't see him. Then I saw him on my last day at school, as I was heading up the road. You'll never believe, I saw him leaning against a car, together with Sean, yes the Sean from my past. Small world in deed. I talked to him for a sec. He said he was gonna come visit me over the break. I guess we will see.