Hey Brother

VERONICA

~“Hey brother, do you still believe in one another?”~

~Hey sister, do you still believe in love, I wonder?”~

~Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you,~

~There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do…”~

~– Avicii~

***

A few days into my hospital stay, Dr. Jacobs told me I would be good to go in about two more days. They wanted to make sure my wound was healing right before they sent me home to rest.

During these past days, my friends came to visit me.

Jo, Lucy, and Erin came again once, but they didn’t stay for long, thank God, because Erin didn’t finish being a complete bitch to me.

Nick and Amy returned from Chicago and popped by to visit, along with Kyle which was a little awkward at first.

Then there was Mom and Stephen who came regularly, joined by Andy, who came with them once.

It was nice, for a change, to be with my family, even if Andy’s fingers were glued to her phone, texting nonstop.

Jax didn’t visit me at all after our…disagreement.

After Dr. Jacobs’s announcement, I felt pretty good for the rest of the day.

I didn’t think about Jax or his insistence on me, or of his lack of Hindu sun on his back, but instead floated in daydreams about what I would do once I was discharged.

But my merry bubble popped when the nurse told me I had a visitor, and none other than Drake Adams appeared at the door.

He had a bouquet of roses in his hands, and he put it on the nightstand before taking the chair at my bedside.

“How are you?” he asked casually by way of greeting.

Now that he was here, I wasn’t sure how I was feeling anymore.

“I’m good,” I lied, “what are you doing here?” Or rather, how did you hear about my hospitalization?

“I found out from Nick,” he said, reminding me that he was a member of Nick’s fraternity and his football teammate. “And I had to see how my favorite girl is doing.”

My mood took a nosedive.

“I’m not your girl, favorite or not,” I informed him.

“Oh, but I want you to be,” he chuckled. “But that’s not why I’m here. Tell me how you feel.”

I was beginning to wonder whether this guy was under some sort of drugs, because there was no way in hell he was for real.

“What possibly makes you think that I’m happy to see you and talk to you about my feelings?” I asked, stunned at his blatant lack of understanding.

Drake was in his own wee world, by the beaming look he gave me. “Come on, Veronica. I know you like me, even if you’re refusing to admit it. Now tell me how you’re doing.”

“Get out of here,” I grumbled at him.

“But I’ve just arrived!” he complained, pouting.

That was it.

“Listen to me carefully, Drake,” I said as serious as possible so the point would be made clear, once and for all.

“I don’t want you here. You don’t really want to be here. You’re under a delusional assumption that you know me, but you don’t. I don’t like you, I hate flowers, and I just want some peace before I snap again.”

“So, get out of my face and find some other girl who might actually be willing to be bothered by your stupid redheaded self. Capiche?”

“But I like you, Veronica!” he whined. “Why do you have to act like this?”

“Because you’re annoying the shit out of me! I really wish you would stop sending me flowers and stop emailing me to tell me that you’re into me. I’m through with your unwanted attention.”

I was harsh, maybe even cruel, but I decided to be brutally honest, because sending signs and hints, apparently, wasn’t enough. I was done with men who were trying to enter my life by force.

Jax was giving me space. Now it was Drake’s turn to do the same.

Drake seemed crushed. His eyes were wide with hurt, and his hands clenched into fists.

“You could’ve just told me instead of leading me on,” he said quietly.

“I didn’t lead you on, Drake,” I said, scowling.

Why did every single guy I rejected think it was my fault for giving him the wrong signs? It was so not the case!

“I was very forward about how I don’t want any interaction with you whatsoever. Didn’t you think it was odd I didn’t respond to your attempts at winning me over? It wasn’t a coincidence. I did everything I could to avoid you.”

That was when he pulled a Jax on me.

“You didn’t even give me a shot!” he exclaimed, jumping off the chair. “You just pushed me away!”

Did I mention I was also through with dramas? No? So here; I was ~through~.

So, so through.

I was exhausted with having to explain why I didn’t think being together was good. I was tired of men thinking I was ready to just give every man who showed any interest in me a shot. I was done.

“Get out of here, Drake,” I said gravely, “I’m tired and you’re giving me a headache. I want to rest before I go back to real life so, please, just leave.”

Drake was about to say–or scream–something else at me when the door opened and Oliver, out of all people, walked in.

He shot one look to Drake and said in a clipped voice, “You. Out.”

The other man snarled at him. “Who the fuck are you to give me orders?!”

“She doesn’t want you here,” Oliver explained slowly, as if talking to a three-year-old, which wasn’t that far off the mark. “So, you can either go away nice and quiet, or I drag you out by force.”

Looking flummoxed, Drake snapped his head toward me, as if telling me to do something about Oliver’s threat.

I was ready to back my stepbrother, Oliver, for once. He was actually on my side this time.

“Buzz off, Drake,” I told him, my voice heavy with exhaustion. “I’m through with you.”

Maybe it wasn’t the best way to handle things, but it was the only way I knew how.

I was done pretending everything was fine. Now that I’d discovered honesty was the best approach for my current situation, I was ready to use it, even if it could be harsh at times.

Drake looked like I’d shattered his heart, which I hadn’t. He might have a tiny crush on me, but he was definitely not in love with me.

Regardless of his feelings, he left the room without another word, slamming the door behind him with a dramatic flourish.

Relieved, I turned to Oliver, who had taken a seat next to my bed. “Thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it,” he brushed off my gratitude with a casual wave of his hand, then fixed me with a serious look. “Actually, I think I owe you an apology.”

I blinked at him in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“I was a judgmental jerk,” he admitted, his eyes filled with regret. “And I think I might have played a part in what you did to yourself.”

He gestured towards my bandaged wrist.

I wasn’t sure if he was right or not.

“There were a lot of factors that led to this,” I told him, being brutally honest—a tactic I was starting to appreciate.

“It’s not entirely your fault, although I can’t deny that your accusations did mess with my emotions.”

That was the truth. I sighed and looked into his silvery-green eyes.

“You were right, Oliver. I did hurt Jax, and I am a slut. I can’t deny it just because I don’t like hearing it from others.”

His lips turned down in a frown.

“You don’t have to be a slut,” he advised me, “you can choose a different lifestyle, a different habit. As far as I can tell, you haven’t even tried.”

He was right again.

“I know,” I admitted, looking down. “But there’s a reason I chose to live like this. It might not be perfect, but it works for me.”

“I can’t do relationships, not right now. Maybe later in life, but I can’t predict the future, so I can’t promise you that.”

“I get that, even if I don’t agree with it,” Oliver said, giving me a sheepish smile. “And that’s why I lost it at Bernard’s.”

I looked back at him. “What do you mean?”

He leaned in a bit closer.

“I was mad at you, not just because you made Jax lose it and stop talking to me, but also because of your choices, because you don’t let anyone in, not just Jax, but me and that redhead guy, too.”

“I don’t know how you are with your friends, but judging by their worry and the fact that none of them saw your…episode coming, I’m guessing you didn’t share everything with them.”

His words hit too close to home, but I was committed to honesty now, and I was really trying to be more open, even if just a little.

So, I said what I was thinking, even if it was a bit harsh.

“I’m going to be blunt here,” I warned him. “You never showed any interest in getting to know me, Oliver, not since we met eight years ago. We were just unavoidable acquaintances, nothing more.”

“You never showed any interest in me, and you weren’t here five years ago, when I was in the hospital. So, of course, I didn’t feel comfortable opening up to you.”

“That’s true,” he admitted, not denying it. “But there’s a reason for that too; you never showed any interest in me either. I thought you were annoyed with having a new brother, whether we were related or not.”

“When you were in the hospital, I wanted to visit you, but I thought you hated me and that my presence would just upset you more, so I stayed home.”

“It wasn’t because I didn’t care. Our distance wasn’t just my fault. You gave me warning signals from the moment we met.”

He was right, again.

“So, what’s different now?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“What’s changed is that I got tired of waiting for you to warm up to me, and that you hurt my best friend, my brother,” he paused. “By the way, he told me you want him to keep his distance. He didn’t give me details. Why?”

The change in topic didn’t surprise me. I’d figured he’d ask about it eventually.

“When he visited me, I decided to stop sending him mixed signals, like you told me to,” I explained. “So, I told him what I really wanted from him.”

Oliver grimaced. “I can guess the rest now. He looked crushed when he told me about you.”

I winced. “I had to be honest, Oliver. I couldn’t keep showing him with my body language that I wanted him, while my mind was screaming no. It had to stop.”

“So, what did you tell him?” he asked, his face clear of any assumptions for the first time. He just wanted to hear my side of the story.

“I told him the truth,” I said quietly, looking away. “I told him that being near him was making me lose control, and right now, control over my actions, over my body and mind, is all I have left.”

“I lost control completely once a few years ago. I’m not ready to let that happen again, and Jax just doesn’t get that.”

“He won’t admit that I’ve got real problems, that it’s not all in my head. If we were together, that denial would’ve torn us apart.”

I clenched my hands. “When I’m ready to be with someone, they need to understand me, not try to fix me.”

“Jax isn’t like that. I don’t know him well, but from what I’ve seen, he’s a hero type. He’d try to put me back together.”

“And when he couldn’t, when I had an anxiety attack or something, he’d get frustrated and blame himself. I care about him, Oliver, I really do. I can’t let that happen to him.”

When I finally looked at him, Oliver’s eyes were filled with sadness. “He must’ve been upset when you told him.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “That’s putting it mildly.”

He looked at me for a long time before speaking. “As much as I hate to say it, I think you might be right.”

Hearing him say that was a relief. I needed someone to listen, to understand that I knew myself better than anyone else, that I knew what I could and couldn’t handle.

That Oliver did made me feel like I wasn’t going crazy.

“Thank you,” I said, my voice thick with emotion.

He rubbed his head and let out a heavy sigh, looking up at the ceiling. “You and Jax are in a real mess, Veronica.”

I winced. “I know. If I could go back and change things, I would.”

~Like not sleeping with Jax to begin with.~

That thought made me pause when I remembered something else.

“Oliver,” I said, catching his eye. “Did Jax ever have a tattoo on his back that he got removed?”

My stepbrother looked confused.

“A tattoo?” When I nodded, he still looked puzzled. “Why would Jax, who’s scared of needles, have a tattoo?”

My heart sank. Jax had been telling the truth. He never had a tattoo. So why did I remember seeing a beautiful Hindu sun tattoo on his muscular back?

“Veronica?” Oliver’s voice brought me back. “You look pale. Are you okay?”

I pushed the thoughts about the tattoo aside.

“I’m fine,” I said, giving him a genuine smile. “I’m glad we talked today, Oliver.”

He relaxed, and I realized he’d been tense. His smile was warm. I’d never seen him smile like that, especially not at me.

“I’m glad, too. I’d like to do it again.”

I blushed a little. “Really?”

“You’re my sister, whether we’re related by blood or not,” he said, his smile turning amused. “I want to get to know you better, because at the end of the day, you’re a good person.”

“So, you’re saying we should act like real siblings?” I asked, smiling back.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “What do you think?”

“Absolutely, I’m in,” I said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. “We are siblings, after all.”

“Good,” he said, and like a big brother should, he squeezed my hand back and stood up. “I’ll let you rest now, so you’ll be ready to go when you get discharged.”

“Thank you,” I said, and a minute later, my big brother was gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts about everything that had happened in the past few days.