Chapter CHAPTER XVII—EVIL WITHIN

I replayed the moment twice in my mind before I answered her question.

“Well, I could tell that you were trying to control my emotions, but I wanted to be mad in order to properly convey my sentiments to you, so, I just pushed back.”

“What do you mean by you ‘pushed back’?”

“As I felt your false serenity descend, I rejected it.”

“How?” She leaned towards me, her palms flat on the table.

“Mentally, I guess. I don’t know. What does it matter?”

Iris got up and began to pace back and forth. Rahim and Jules watched her closely, their expressions both attentive and anxious. I could tell that they both would have loved to know what went on inside her head.

Her pink lips, which had been a thin line, parted. “I want to test something,” she said to the room at large. “Kaya, stand up please.”

I did as she instructed.

“Commander, could you do the same?” she asked.

He obliged.

She continued, “Now, I would like both of you to come and stand in front of me, Commander Hokor to my right and Kaya to my left.”

We followed her instructions like marionettes strung along purely by curiosity.

“Kaya,” instructed Iris, “I want you to look at Commander Hokor, or Jules if you like, and tell me how he’s feeling.”

“What? I—I don’t—” I stammered in protest.

“Just do it,” she demanded.

I turned my attention to Jules. His warm, brown eyes swarmed with curiosity and apprehension.

“He looks worried to me,” I offered.

“Forget about how he looks,” she retorted impatiently. “How does he feel?”

“Heck! I don’t know.” I did not appreciate her attitude.

She proclaimed, “I’ve got an idea. Kaya, you take Jules’ hands, then look into his eyes one more time.”

I reluctantly did as she instructed. Jules’ hands felt warm and inviting. His eyes stared into mine with a sort of longing.

“Anything?” asked Iris.

“No,” I replied, blushing. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to do really.”

“Don’t give up, Kaya,” Jules encouraged.

I smiled weakly.

“Focus,” Iris added. “It’s important for you to believe that you can do this.” She began to pace again, mumbling something about the troubles involved with working with less heightened senses. “Alright Kaya, I have one more trick up my sleeve. I need you to get closer to Jules.”

I did not like that idea at all, but I obeyed, stepping about two inches closer to the valiant Jules.

“No, no—much closer than that! In fact, wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his shoulder with your face towards his neck, eyes closed—and concentrate.”

For the first time since the exercise began, I did not instantly move a muscle at her command. I felt no desire to get that close and personal with Jules for some sort of experiment.

“What are you waiting for?” she asked impatiently, “We don’t have all night. Do you want to discover your abilities or not?” She added convincingly.

?

I inhaled deeply and took two small steps towards Jules, quickly closing the short distance between us. I reached out my hands, which literally twitched with nervousness, and placed them behind Jules’ back. The inset of my elbows rested on the sides of his taut waist.

He did not move, only stared into my eyes, as I proceeded to hug him. His gaze bore into me like the sun’s rays on a cloudless winter day, sending warmth and comfort throughout my body. I tried to avoid them as I leaned in to rest my head on his shoulder. Though he felt firm and muscular, my head settled onto him comfortably.

“Now close your eyes,” said Iris softly, “And breathe deeply.”

I let my eyelids close and took a deep breath. As the air passed through my nostrils, Jules’ fragrant aroma sent excited messages to my brain. I became aroused by the most intoxicating scent I ever smelled, a combination of warm, campfire wood and exotic spices. I leaned forward, wanting to get closer to it, desiring it to engulf me, and at the same time, to hold it in my hands. I would caress it against my face like a dozen, beautiful roses, soft as gossamer cloth.

My entire body began to relax, as the smell took away all my pain and anxiety. I tried and tried to get closer to it, but an obstruction stood in my way, something solid and stately.

I opened my eyes.

My hands rested on Jules’ chest. I had no idea how they had gotten there. I felt so embarrassed that I nearly tripped over myself trying to get away from him. I did not get far before I felt someone return me to Jules’ chest.

“You were almost there, Kaya. Don’t give up,” came Iris’s voice.

I did not fully understand what ‘there’ she referred to, but I felt sure that it was not a place I wanted to go in present company. Iris stood right next to me detecting my every emotion. I had a bad feeling that ‘there’ might eventually take me to a place where I had not been since JJ’s conception. Surely, she did not want me in place.

“Rest your head and close your eyes,” she instructed.

I welcomed the darkness.

“Do you notice anything?” she called to me.

“Just him,” I mumbled.

“What about him?”

“His shoulders, his waist, his scent—”

“Oh, good! You can smell him. That helps. Concentrate on that and let it lead you deeper and deeper into—”

Though I presumed that Iris continued to talk, I could no longer hear her. Her voice had faded away into the obscurity of my mind and had been replaced with the smell of a crackling fire and a warm chai latte. I could not see, feel, taste, or hear, only smell. The scent swept me like the vortex of a tornado, threatening all the while to whisk me away to uncharted worlds.

My first instinct inclined me to clench tighter onto my stronghold. Then I remembered what Iris had said about letting it lead me deeper. I hesitated for one more moment, then I let go I could feel my body become lighter than air itself as the tantalizing scent carried me away.

Despite its allure, the smell actually led me to a place of emotional turmoil. I had been bamboozled. For such a sweet aroma surely could not be associated with feelings like mourning, angst, and aggression. I could also sense longing and—love.

I opened my eyes and backed away from Jules. I felt so ashamed that I had invaded his personal space and emotional sphere and now knew more about him than I cared to know. If this is what my ability entailed, I wanted nothing to do with it.

“You did it,” said Iris ecstatically.

“Yeah. I guess I did.”

“I’m so proud of you,” she exclaimed. “Here, take this. It’ll make you feel better and help protect you in the future.”

She reached behind her neck and unfastened the necklace she was wearing. I had not noticed it before because the pedant had been resting below the collar of her shirt.

The necklace, made from yellow gold, held a pendant that resembled a familiar set of solid circles. The round, blue eye from the map on the floor twirled mysteriously from the end the golden rope.

“Thank you, Iris,” I said, grateful.

I took the necklace from her outstretched hand and looked at it. The dark blue field was made of sapphires, white of diamonds, and the light blue of topaz. The pupil was black diamonds and sparkled as bright as the rest. The fine piece of jewelry would protect me and decorate my neckline.

“Let me get that for you,” Jules offered, taking the necklace from me.

I turned my body away from him and watched as the pendant dropped in front of my eyes. A noise in the corner of the room made me turn my head. I watched Rahim rise from his seat and disappear on the spot without a trace.

“You’re very welcome,” Iris twittered beside me, looking me over now that the necklace rested on my chest. “It suits you.”

I returned my gaze to the spot where Rahim had once stood. I wondered out loud, “He just disappeared. Is that normal?”

“His ability is teleportation,” answered Iris. “He’ll be fine. This is just a lot for him to accept right away—you being a Huzeen and all.”

I smiled wistfully, looking down at my bare feet resting on the screen of an alien vessel. I could scarcely believe how much my life had changed. This had surely been one of the most eventfully nights of my life.

Between meeting people from another dimension, finding out that I was somehow linked to them genetically, and discovering my formerly suppressed supernatural ability, I felt quite beside myself.

I could hear the sounds of an alarm and male pursuers yelling unpleasant phrases in English and what I presumed to be French. I opened my eyes, sat up swiftly, and looked around.

The master bedroom in my Miami home surrounded me.

I pinched myself forcefully on the forearm.

“Ouch!” I said aloud.

? I thought.

The aggressive sounds seemed slightly familiar. I had heard them before, but I could not recall where or why or to whom they belonged.

I felt almost helpless as I sat there, waiting and listening.

I realized that the voices did not move nearer to me, nor did they move further away. In fact, they seemed to be coming from one stationary source, the television in the living room, purchased in part for its superb audio features.

Given the repetitious vulgarity and violent content of the phrases I could understand, I knew that JJ must be playing his favorite assassin game on his new gaming system, a Christmas gift from his great-uncle who lived in China. The system had yet to come out in the United States, a fact that made JJ very proud.

I threw back the covers and jumped out of bed. I felt my feet hit the cold, tile floor as I rushed out of the bedroom. If a chance existed that everything I had experienced recently had been an awful nightmare, I could not wait to verify it.

I sprinted down the hall.

My mind perplexed and my heart full of hope, I entered the living room to find JJ lying on his stomach on the tile floor. His feet kicking back and forth in the air.

At any rate, he did not look like a boy who had been kidnapped by an alien who had murdered his grandmother.

I watched him there, blissful and serene, despite the fact that I knew how much my mother hated that dreadful game. She said it encouraged violence. I agreed with her, but I also trusted my son to differentiate between actual reality and virtual reality.

I had explained to him time and time again that in life played out nothing like a video game. If you made the wrong decision, you could not simply restart the narrative without cost or penalty as if nothing had ever happened.

, I frequently told him.

My mother had shared that wisdom with me when I was his age, something my father used to say.

My eyes welled up with tears. I could finally release the guilt that had been smothering me all this time. Inwardly, I had blamed myself for JJ’s kidnapping. I had convinced myself that if I had never left his side, none of that would have happened. I could feel the tears flowing freely down my face.

I had been given a second chance.

Overcome with joy, resisted the urge to run up to him and plant numerous kisses on his face. He would find that weird considering the fact that the recent trauma had all been a figment of my imagination.

Instead, I just stood there, speechless, weeping silently to myself.

Through my tears, I watched as his animated character jumped from rooftop to rooftop evading his pursuers. I found the game quite entertaining to watch.

Right when I thought his character would be captured, he shot around a turret, jumped from the roof in a graceful swan dive and landed softly in a pile of hay. His pursuers did not unearth him. When the danger cleared, he hoped from his hiding place, his dirty deed done.

Suddenly, the figures on the television screen became still.

“Hi, Mom,” said JJ, turning his head from the TV to face me. He had paused the game.

“Hey, Sweetie,” I said, taken aback.

I thought I had been quite stealthy in my entrance and therefore had remained undetected.

“Isn’t your grandmother asleep?” I asked, hinting to the fact that the television had been too loud.

“Sort of, yeah.”

“Well, you better mute that game,” I said, attempting to sound normal, though I knew my tears must have given me away.

“Why?” he asked defiantly. “It’s not going to wake her up.”

“It woke me up.”

“That’s different.”

He was not confrontational often. My mother and I raised him to be obedient and courteous. I felt too grateful for his well-being to scold him, so I played along.

“How can you be so sure?” I asked with a soft smile on my face.

“She’s dead, remember?” he said dryly.

My jaw fell slack.

JJ, who seemed wholly indifferent to this fact, turned his attention back to his game. The character ran down an alley and onto the adjacent street. A large procession moved slowly up the cobblestone lane to somber hymns. Completely incognito, the character disappeared amongst the solemn faces of the crowd.

The room looked pitch-black when I my opened eyes, the darkness that engulfed me felt foreign. A palpable eeriness filled the air, one typically associated with surreal experiences.

My dream, if it could be called that, had been all too real to be dismissed, suppressed, or ignored. My heart raced and my pajamas felt damp with sweat.

I felt my way to the edge of the bed and swung my feet over the edge. I could feel carpet under my feet and knew I was no longer at home in Miami. I did not need to pinch myself for confirmation, not that it had worked anyway.

I felt as if I had just seen JJ as he now existed. I wondered sincerely if that sort of perception was possible. Anxiety began to build inside of me in lieu of understanding.

I attempted to stand. Blood rushed from my head and I became dizzy. With each subsequent breath, I seemed to consume less and less oxygen. I felt defenseless and trapped. My lungs burned and my heart ached.

I needed an oxygen mask, a paper bag, or something to slow the onset of hyperventilation that threatened my consciousness.

A banging noise came from the far side of my room inside the closet. A dark figure stepped out toward me, its hands extended.

I screamed, completely startled by the medical robot Jules had told me lived inside my closet and monitored my vitals.

“Stop!” I yelled at it. “I’m fine!”

I did not feel fine, but the robot stopped its forward progress.

“Do you require medical assistance?” it asked in a mechanical, female voice.

“No! Just leave me alone!”

The robot returned to the closet and shut itself inside.

I inhaled deeply, trying to think straight and regain my composure. I had to admit to defeat. Emotionally, I was not prepared for this multi-mega-universal, save-the-planet journey I had been called upon to lead on behalf of the human race.

I had accepted the challenge, foolishly ignoring my human limitations, but I had not been given a choice whether or not to learn the truth about the world I loved.

I stumbled towards the place where I thought my room door was located. I needed to find Jules or Iris and tell them what I saw.

As I reached for the door knob from memory, I grasped nothing but air. My knees buckled as I lunged forward. My right shoulder collided with the door before my face had the opportunity. I slid down the slick, wooden frame until I found myself seated on the floor, bruised and shaken. I cried out in pain.

The closet door opened a couple of inches.

“Don’t you dare come out here!” I yelled at the robot.

It shut the door as instructed.