Chapter 46

After quite a while, Lyndon returned.

“The knight commander, Lyndon. He has returned after carrying out Your Majesty’s orders.”

He immediately went to the Emperor and found Theodore sitting alone at the edge of an empty bed in the darkened bedroom.

“Your Majesty……?”

Lyndon cautiously called him.

Theodore, who had been silent the whole time, raised his head and looked at him.

The moment he met the desolate golden eyes, Lyndon trembled.

He had heard from Armin that the emperor had become strange, but…

‘It didn’t just get weird… ‘

Gulp.

A breath he couldn’t get out of his mouth ran down his throat.

Theodore just stared at his face.

Lyndon wanted to cry in the gaze that seemed to strangle him.

‘It’s gotten scarier. This will only encourage more false rumors of the past that the Emperor is the god of ancient darkness.’

The Emperor, whom he met again in nearly two months, was so creepy and frightening that he almost kneeled down.

“I… found a survivor of Chernicia.”

Theodore’s lips, which had been kept silent the whole time, opened for the first time.

“Survivors of Chernicia…..?”

The voice that flowed through them was very rough, as if from someone who had not spoken for a long time.

And the next moment, to Lyndon’s surprise, Theodore’s lips loosened.

“A survivor of Chernicia…. Did I order you to find him?”

“Yes? Yes, Your Majesty! Did you not prepare for Chernicia’s reinstatement?”

“Before I lost my memory, I was doing something very cute.”

When Theodore showed interest, Lyndon plucked up the courage to speak up.

“Brian Chernicia was alive.”

“Oh yeah…….”

But Theodore responded bluntly and bit his lips firmly again. Brian Chernicia…

Yvonne’s youngest brother.

But even with the name he should have been pleased with, Theodore was not impressed.

Everything has been like this since he lost Yves.

Chernicia’s reinstatement, Yvonne’s end…

Those were the goals of his life, and yet..… Everything was indifferent.

At this time, Lyndon looked at him and carefully opened his mouth once more.

“Shouldn’t we tell Yvonne about this joyous fact?”

“…?”

Theodore’s brow furrowed slightly.

Now, what are you talking about?

Theodore thought for a moment that he had heard something wrong.

“By the way, where is Yvonne? She was always with Your Majesty…”

But Theodore didn’t hear wrong.

Lyndon was obviously looking for Yvonne.

“Why are you looking for Yvonne here?”

“Yes? No, that’s… what……”

Lyndon was more perplexed and broke into a cold sweat.

“… … After Your Majesty brought Yvonne from Ferdinand to the palace, you told me to find Chernicia’s survivors.”

“Yvonne… You said I brought her from Ferdinand?”

“Yes, last summer… Your Majesty Himself……”

“…!”

Theodore looked at Lyndon with a shocked expression.

‘Did I bring Yvonne?’

‘No, no.’

Last summer, whom he brought from Ferdinand was Yves.

Yes, Lyndon must have gotten it wrong.

Thinking about it that way, he (Theo) felt at peace again.

“Aren’t you misunderstanding something? I didn’t bring Yvonne. It was Yves.”

“Yes….?”

This time, Lyndon looked blankly for a moment.

“Isn’t Yvonne’s alias Yves Llewellyn….?”

“What……?”

Not long ago, Ernst came to Theodore and asked him to give back Yvonne. Theodore chased away the pathetic half-brother, who could not even tell the difference between Yves and Yvonne. But Lyndon said the same thing as Ernst.

Yves was Yvonne.

“What nonsense…!”

It was at that moment when he was trying to raise his voice, denying the ominous feeling that suddenly attacked him.

You know Yvonne Chernicia, right? (Yves)

Suddenly, with a faint afterimage, it was as if Yves’s voice could be heard. Yves was talking to him. With a very sad and sorrowful expression…

You keep looking for her…. (Yves)

Arhhh!

A strong headache gripped his head.

I……. (Yves)

In a pain that was incomparable to anything before, Theodore wrapped his head with both hands and fell to the floor.

I’m Yvonne…… . (Yves)

“Ugh…”

I’m Yvonne. When His Majesty came to Ferdinand half a year ago… (Yves)

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty……! Doctor……… !”

Lyndon’s raucous voice faded away.

What do we do? I think I love you.

Armin, you answer. What is this?!

Now that you have erased all of Ferdinand’s ghosts, can I love you?

Do you think you can become the Emperor’s mistress? You dare?

Will you love me too?

The body you will give me is not worth a single coin.

I love you, Yves.

Dirty and ugly.

Yves.

Memories before and after he lost his memory were mixed in a mess. It was the small bell coming through the open window that rescued him from the pouring waves of memories.

Ding. Ding.

The sound of the clock signaling two o’clock in the afternoon was heard in the distance. What unfolded before his eyes at that moment…

A single green leaf that fell from the sky above his head…

Hi. What is your name?

He found her in the midst of the greenery and her eyes wide open like a rabbit.

….Yves Llewellyn.

A lovely voice whispering to him as if possessed. It was their reunion. Yes, they met again.

Last summer, on a tree in Ferdinand’s mansion. At two o’clock in the afternoon, at the appointed time.

I’m not stupid enough to not remember the woman I love.

Actually, I tried to approach you a little more slowly, but your eyes looking at me were so pretty I couldn’t stand it.

I love you, Yves.

The spell was broken, and the memories came alive. Memories of the lost half year.

***

10 years ago.

When Chernicia was swept away by treason and destroyed, he heard the news that the youngest daughter had disappeared. The young Theodore, unable to overcome the torment, went crazy. And Yvonne’s death, the second time he encountered after that, drove him completely insane.

If there was a difference between the past and the present……

Unlike at the time when there was even a small hope that maybe she might be alive somewhere, now there was not even the slightest hope.

“Yves….”

Theodore called her with a tearful face.

“Yvonne………”

But no one was here now to answer the call.

“I miss you, Yves…Yves…Yvonne… … .”

Didn’t he let go of her by his own two hands?

Come to think of it, right after he fell off his horse and lost his memory, Yvonne always looked at him and wanted to talk to him.

Your Majesty, I have something to tell you…

But it was he who had refused her earnest request for a conversation. At one point, she no longer came to him. She just stared at him with her tired, numb eyes. The color of love that had been shining as she embraced him had disappeared, and when he looked into those eyes, he was angry for no reason. Besides, Katarina Ferdinand, the woman whom he took her hands to find Yvonne….

You.

It was that woman who abused Yvonne (back in Ferdinand). The clear traces of abuse that were left on the inside of Yvonne’s white forearm when they met again.

Theodore knew Katarina was the one responsible for the heinous act.

So he threatened the woman and rescued Yvonne.

He did, but after all that, in front of Yvonne, with that woman…..

‘What the hell did I do?’

As he recalled the things he had done with that woman, his eyes flashed white.

It was a weak point to lie about loving Katarina. He knew it would hurt Yves greatly but he made more mistakes.

Yvonne Chernicia, the girl he loved from a young age, was hiding memories of a very unhappy childhood.

Theodore has always hoped to heal the wounds of her childhood.

So, while he wanted to erase the scars left on her wrist after meeting her again, he ignored the scarring Katarina made again on Yves’s forearm after they met. He persuaded Yvonne that her short hair was a scar from the past so she should grow it back.

But he cut it off in front of the woman (Katarina).

He took away the token of love from her that he had once given to her. (the hairpin)

He promised her to reinstate Chernicia where she could no longer live. And he promised that she didn’t have to wield her sword again.

But he ordered her to raise her sword to escort that woman, and as she tried to protect her, she was killed by the assassin’s sword.

It reminded him of that subtle attitude he saw the night before her death.

No. Your Majesty… You’re getting engaged to Miss Katarina tomorrow.

When she said that, her face as she looked at him had a certain expression on it.

I don’t want to be Your Majesty’s mistress. I have no intention of becoming your nighttime woman.

He couldn’t remember well. Because back then he was….

Miss Katarina has a child with Your Majesty.

Because he didn’t listen to her voice at all. Because he didn’t pay any attention to how she looked at him.

Only, at that moment, he was preoccupied with the aspirations that filled the proposal.

“ha ha ha!”

Theodore burst out laughing like a madman.

“Hahaha!”

****

T/N: Guilt is a powerful weapon.