Chapter 25

The following Monday, he was still with Catherine. But now I noticed the little things that I had been oblivious to before due to my anger.

The tension in his shoulders, his smiles never reached his eyes nor did his smirks. Even when they were talking or kissing, it seemed robotic as if his heart was not into it.

The conversation that we had never leave my mind. Somehow I understood him; he believed everything was his fault because that was how people treated him his whole life. But what did that have to do with how he behaved? How is that going to prove something to his brother? To release his anger somehow? Those same questions kept on running through my mind, I always tried to answer them but somehow it always seemed wrong.

I tried to get him alone long enough to ask, yet he managed to avoid being alone at all cost. It was like trying to catch a shadow, impossible and quite hard to do.

I told Maya briefly what had happened. Of course I didn't tell her about his mother, just that he had some reasons for how he behaved.

"So you are telling me that he stayed overnight, opened up and you know he actually wants to be your friend but he is still with her?" Maya asked incredulously.

I nodded.

"I really don't get boys." She threw her head back with an exasperated eye roll and frustrated groan.

"Me neither." I sighed deeply.

"So what are you planning to do?"

"Confront him? Try to talk to him?"

"And then what are you going to say?"

"I don't know! What do people normally say in these situations?"

"You are the one that read the most books! You tell me."

"I don't know!" I threw my hands up, exasperated.

"Don't the girl usually be like: oh it's not your fault!" Maya said in a high pitch voice, imitating those basic girls' voices. "And then they confess and kiss and live happily ever after?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah as if we are going to confess."

Her face suddenly turned serious and it scared me for a moment, "I actually think he likes you."

I laughed out loud and gave her an incredulous look, "Me? You serious?"

"Very." And she sounded so solemn.

"What makes you think that?" I challenged her.

"Well for starters, he opened up." She listed off.

"He can open up to a friend." I interrupted.

"Hush, and then he stick by you even when you are being your weird self." She continued.

"That's what friends do! You do that for me too!" I defended.

"Let me finish first!" She gave me a stern glare and I shut my mouth, swallowing all my other protests.

"He defends you when you are not around, he glares at boys that even look at you, he rejected thousands of girls, and you never seen the way he looked at you, as if you are the only thing that exists, the only thing that matters to him." She finished.

"Wow, did you get that off the internet or something? Did you read or watch that somewhere?" I tried to not sound too sarcastic but at this moment, it was impossible.

"I am dead serious." She stared at me, and she did looked serious, so serious that I wondered did she hit her head or something.

"The things you said sounded like all those typical cliche stuff that boys do to the girls in every cliche book." And I started to wonder, did Maya get possessed? Maybe I should ask Tom is she acting strange these few days.

"No! I'm telling you he does like you. My gut feelings are never wrong." She insisted firmly. I seriously started to think that I need to bring her to a doctor.

"It's impossible, there's so much more better choices than me. But anyways," I said quickly, when I saw her mouth opening to defend. "If I do ask him what should I say?

She rolled her eyes at my not so subtle change of topic, but she let it slid, "Just ask him to be himself, and try to convince him that it's not his fault. When you guys are really talking you will figure it out."

"Wow that's so helpful thank you."

"Your welcome." She flashed me a smile, ignoring my sarcasm, "And when have you ever seen the girl ask her best friend what to do in books? It's always in the spur of the moment. You can't be prepare for those things."

"True, but this is not a book!"

"You will never know." And she winked.

I rolled myself eyes for the thousands time, it was a miracle that it wasn't permanently stuck.

It was last period, I rushed out of the classroom as if it's on fire towards Asher's car. I arrived just a second before him. My sudden appearance seemed to startle him, his facade dropped for a second, his face shocked and a little happy?

"What are you doing here?" His words were as harsh as ever.

Ignoring the glare he was giving me, I simply stated, "We need to talk."

"We don't "need" to do anything."

"Yes we do." I stood my ground, looking into his eyes, but it was like staring at a wall.

He knew I was stubborn so he sighed and got into his car, ignoring me. I scrambled to get in before he started his car.

He looked at me, opened his mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. His mouth was in a tight line and he started his car with a grim look.

I kept my face as blank as an empty canvas but I basked in my little victory. At least we were alone right now, he must had had to talk to me.

Stuck on not knowing how to start the conversation, he drove the familiar road to my house. We arrived before I even had the chance to talk.

"Get out." He said in a straining, controlled voice.

"Not until we talk."

"What do you even want to talk about?" He snarled, his knuckles were turning an alarmingly white.

"Us."

"What about us." His voice wavered just the tiniest bit.

"I thought we were- I will lov-like for us to be friends again." I said with uncertainty, not gathering my thoughts fast enough.

"Can't we just go on with our life? We are fine just like this." His words were liked tiny shards of ice piercing through me. Why did it hurt that much?

"No. I thought you wanted to be my friend. You even said you don't like Catherine! And what does us being friends have to do with Catherine. I don't care if you are dating her, as long as we can still be friends." I was telling the truth, then why did it felt liked I was not?

"Unless.... unless you don't want to be friends?" I said at last, voicing my fear.

I really thought we are friends. Even best friends.

The silence was so long and loud, it was the worst silence I had ever experienced.

"No."

That one word shattered my heart in a way I didn't knew it was possible. I knew it. Of course he doesn't want anything to do with you. You are just a nerd, he is the freaking 'bad boy' he have everything why will he need you?

"Okay, sorry for bothering you." I said, my voice stripped of any emotion. I fumbled to get out, my hands suddenly very clumsy.

Why am I so dumb to believe anyone like him will ever want to be my friend? It's ok I have Maya. I don't need anyone else-

"I don't mean it like that." His voice broke my train of thoughts. I froze, the car door was opened and I was halfway out already.

"I want- I do want us to still be friends, just not just friends."

My heart was beating so loud, so fast. I turned and looked at him, still with the guarded look on my face.

"Best friends." His voice was shaky but it sounded sincere. He gave me a tentative smile, a genuine smile.

Uncertainly, I returned a small smile, "Okay." My heart still wouldn't slow down.

"Okay." He repeated.