Gratefulness

Now that the world sang in cross harmony the songs of numbness, the quote 'life goes on no matter what' related to the everyday sync, I got used to being alright. For the Elahim Brothers, there was still some facts to be acknowledged. They still looked at the wounds as fresh and their demise would only disappear when they would forget but they seldom could forget their brother.

I was knitting Fateh a sweater of the wool Mrs. Kasheefa had given me but I looked at myself. Six months... It's been Six months here. My clothes have worn out and I have stitched hemlines to sleeves to the sides of my pants every alternative week to keep going. These clothes were weary before I came here.

My Father and Mr. Elahim are home. I hate the atmosphere when Mr. Elahim is home. What takes the brothers months to open about, the father comes and locks in all. My father and he would stay for three weeks. For three weeks nothing really moved. All still and controlled under the feet of Mr. Elahim.

On a particular Saturday, I was with Fateh who was constantly urging me to take him to Al-Wildan. Since Mr. Elahim is home, I have altered my visits. He's an irritable man. Finally, I myself failed to deny, had to see Al-Wildan.

I entered the room and Al-Shizad was sitting beside. Whenever I see him these days, I poke him to insult me, to mock me, to share my ridiculousness with him because I cannot bear him silently.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"What am I doing here? What are doing here!" He retaliated.

"He is my brother" the sentence that annoys them all.

"He is MY brother" he hissed.

I moved beside the bed and leaned. He has shrunk, his face has become more bones than flesh.

"Can you hear him? Can you communicate with him through telepathy?" I asked Shizad.

He wondered but did not answer.

"I believe in telepathy. And twins are believed to have certain stronger connections, telepathic energy " I added

He brought his face closer to his half.

"He likes you," he said softly.

"I love you too" I answered to Al-Wildan.

"I dearly miss you Al-Wildan" Al-Shizad spoke in a whisper but it really broke my heart.

I walked out of the room and wiped the tears from my face. I prayed and prayed but there was someone who had been praying more than anybody else, Al-WAIS.

The next afternoon after lunch we all were gathered in the room, Mr. Elahim had called for all to attend.

He had bought some gifts for everyone. Maybe I wasn't invited but as I was already in the room I had to tag along.

Now everyone was handed a bag, some a packet, some a box, all servants, all maids, all drivers. Then he called Fateh with a wide smile and handed him a big box. Which he accepted with utmost courtesy taught by his new company. Now he called me with his head down and creased forehead he handed me a small package. I was embarrassed to accept it but I thought the only way to escape was immediately accepting it and to run. I took the package and stood at a distance. Now his sons were spoiled with all the lavish left. He said he personally shopped for one item each for them in Paris. He gave these black bags to each of his sons except Al-Hassan.

It wasn't the first time that I had noticed a slight partiality towards him. The story of this hidden bias had acquaintances with all present. Al-Hassan would always under his father's gleaming sight get small.humiliated.uncomfortable.

When the distribution ended and the 'dismiss ' was announced I sat with Al-Hassan at the place where one could always find him, in the garden, under the dome-shaped gazebo.

"Fateh is getting really annoying" I know I should not intervene but I have always had this bad habit of striking conversations with sad people to distract them.

"Umm... I shall see in the matter myself latter" he said.

"But... How are you?" I asked foolishly.

"Pardon?" He looked at me.

"Are you Alright Al-Hassan?" I questioned.

"I am very well Miss Falaq-Naaz. Thank you very much" he said not losing the bit of weariness from his face.

"No I mean your heart, how is your heart?"

He gulped, looked at me.

"If you pity me for how my father treats me, I'm afraid you misunderstood me rather you are insulting me. I would be the epitome of shallowness if I would take my fathers words or actions to my heart as atrocious. I am not sad about how he treats me, I am disappointed by how I can never redeem him"

He answered impeccably.

Al-Hassan, for times that I doubted that this ocean only shines on the surface;I regret. I take my words back. He is remarkable. The deeper the more beautiful.

"I wish my brothers respected my Dad just as you," I said airily.

"They are foolish" Al-Hassan muttered.

I smiled at the setting sun.

Maybe my father is now in the right place. I don't have to worry about him now.

I waited for an email eagerly from Fatima. No new mail.  I skipped a few pages of the book I was reading from their library '19 Dead Soul' it was such a good one to be recommended.

Then there were others that Al-Wildan had added to my reading list.  I smiled running my fingers on the old yellow pages peeking from the sides.

I miss you Al-Wildan.

I was checking on the CO. Outer screen again.  No new mail.

I ventured out to and fro.

I saw Al-Wais smiling at me from the hallway.  At first, I looked aside, then at the back and then I assured when no one was around that indeed Al-Wais was smiling to me.

He hurried a few steps and came close to me.

"Al-Wildan has opened his eyes.  He's awake. Talking..... " His eyes glistening, his breath humming the sweet melody of what happiness is made of.  He cleared his throat and smiled wider. It's the rarest to see him smile, he smiled almost with his teeth showing. Why doesn't he smile often, he looks so good.

Then rehearsed his words again in my mind. Alhumdullihah Wildan is back!

I ran to his room but I halted hearing Mr. Elahim inside.

I heard his voice and I thought myself what great gift life has bestowed on me, if only I start appreciating it more will the Lord grant more mercy my way.

When the fathers walked out, I rushed in.  All the brothers present and Al-Wais following me stood by my side.

"you cannot imagine how much... Just how insanely I've missed you! "

He burst.

My instinct was to hug him but the embrace to the situation and people demand me not to.

He did not talk but that radiant smile did all the work for me.

We all were smiling. All of us.

Now the days returned more pleasantly as there was sudden gratefulness for what we never had before.

In the garden Al-Wildan and I adore the golden sun melting in the pink sky.

He on his automatic mobility chair. I, on my feet and Father on the bench, tickled the air with our deep breaths and sight.

"Are there pretty sunset in the city?"

Al-Wildan asked.

How much I missed these questions.

"nothing even bear to the ones here I've seen" I answered gladly.

"What about chocolate puddings? "

He shifts so randomly.

"I've eaten better"

He scrunches his nose.

Recovering from the panic of a sudden coma and the numbness in his lower body, Al-Wildan is still a brave young man.

"Birdsong. Can you hear it? " he asked.

The sweet chirping and the melody of two distant birds interweaving a sweet talk dissolved in my ears.

The day ended beautifully.

-*-*-*-*-*

I was running in the dark green meadows of a blurry surrounding.  The moss was deep and brown, my feet were slipping, I could not control my heartbeat.  I ran with all the force in me. My legs failing me, it hurts everywhere. I resumed my respiration pacing back.  Behind a hand followed me, I ran, raced,  cried.  Tears flying in the air.  The purple sky howling my name.  " No! " I screamed.

I stepped into a gigantic hall.  It was Dar-Al-Maqamah.  The first room of the house is where I assumed my safety, I banged madly at the door of Al-Wais.  Nobody else could be seen around, I yelled and screamed.  "Help!  Help! "

But there no response.  The lights went off with a loud breeze.  Silence came over me.  The doorknob turned.

"Al-Wais? " I spoke without a voice.

Frightening glare took over me!  I screamed on discovering the vain vile man I was running from!

He held my fist. I gasped for air, his hands gripped my waistline and I shuddered and sat upright!

Panting, sweating, disillusioned.

" It was just a dream" I repeated to myself over and over.

I heard soft Sounds behind my door.

I am a coward. I get easily frightened.

My brain had to recall the conversation between myself and Mrs. Kasheefa where she confessed that this house may be haunted.

I recited Ayatul Kursi.

I looked at the watch at 3:02 am.

What?  Had to be the demonic hour.

I fidgeted with my covers. Pillows. Fingers. Then hair.

Thirsty as I had to be.

No water in the hug, no courage in my heart but still thirsty.  I couldn't sleep.

3:26 am. What?

"why don't you sleep now?  Hadn't it been enough all for these years now" my grandma grunts even in her

Sleep.  Huh.

"give me some water" she adds to my dismay.

I went out of the room. When I successfully climbed a floor I saw the silver fabric in the hallway flying into a room.  Why doesn't this Man sleep?

Al-Wais and his silver nightgown.

I went to the kitchen upstairs it was locked.  I did not have the guts to enter the chamber.  Souffian said "Ayy! " and I sprang to my feet.

"what the fu--" I cried.

"what are you doing here? "he asks casually.

"Good lord does anybody in this house sleep? " I mumbled.

"Vampire Castle; one of the lady servant use to call Dar-Al-Maqamah. Surprisingly it's not much different from her accusation "

He spoke with a smirk.

"why are you smiling? " I asked him annoyed.

"I want water from the chambers, some idiot has locked the kitchen here"

"can I come along? " I asked nervously.

"of course, " he said with a smile.

Why is he smiling? Al-Souffian is friendly today but Al-Souffian is not friendly at all.

I waked scared step behind him.

He filled his hug, I filled mine.

He sat on the table to drink a glass of water, I sat beside because I had to get out of here but with someone.

"are you scared Falaq-Naaz? " he smirks again.

"I suppose I am"

"shhh" he hissed and I sprang closer to him. This shhhhh has thing about it that scares me in dark and cold and ugly scary places.

He laughed loudly now I moved away from him.

"stop laughing!  Why are you laughing? " I closed my eyes.

"It's true we have demon residents in the manor but that does not at all mean that you should be scared of them" he spoke about the subject so easily.  So easily.

"please get me out from here" I spoke in a low whisper.

"Okay," he imitated me.

"you are so farcical Falaq-Naaz! " he spoke loudly and cheerfully laughing like a ghost.

I ran out of the kitchen.

But the way to my room was dark. I waited swiftly thinking of ways and reciting all surahs I know.

"Falaq-Naaz, ugh let me help" he came to me.

He sighed.

"Don't be afraid of the dark.  Be afraid of bad intentions" he said looking intensely at me.

Now he caught my hand, God knows why I let him. He took me from across the small garden and then he stood at my door when we reached.

Still looking at me. He said " Wouldn't you call me inside? "

There was a certain shine in his eyes, his forehead folds, his breath something haunting about him but yet captivating.  He had grasped me, I wanted to say No but I couldn't. I looked into his hands still in mine.  Why don't I shrug them away?

He left my hands to fall lifeless at the side and stood straight.

"Al-Souffian, what brings you here? " Al-Wais's vigorous voice.

"Helping the Miss fetch the water from the Chamber Kitchen" he answered without losing the eye contact.

"You must leave now" Al-Wais demanded.

"sure. Goodnight Miss Falaq-Naaz " he bowed his head slightly.

"Go to bed Miss Falaq-Naaz " Al-Wais ordered firmly.

My face had lost color. I could not feel myself.  Like life has left my body.  It was so confusing.