Memories of the Cosmic Vessel

Then Paulo turned to face Tetsuya Saito, who vanished and then abruptly reappeared behind Paulo.

Paulo was prepared for this, so he leaped over the slash Tetsuya was about to do and kicked him into the wall, causing Tetsuya to cough up his blood.

Paulo then commented, "You guys regenerate but aren't fully immortal, am I right?" with a displeased expression. Then Tetsuya responded, "Paulo Satoshi, how did you figure that out?"

“I have access to each off my Cosmic Soldier’s memories,” Paulo laughed. At this, Tetsuya clenched his lower jaw.

As Paulo looked at Alexi's body, he remembered how Alexis had saved him in middle school from rumours that nearly brought him down, just like in high school, but the rumours caused him to leap from a rooftop in high school.

Paulo then stopped fighting as he just looks at Alexis ness’s corpse, his breathing quickening as he remembers what happened 4 years ago and how it affected his life

about four years ago, when Paulo's mood soured. The final bell echoed through the halls of Keiko Middle School, a sound that usually meant freedom.

But for Paulo Satoshi, it only sounded like another reminder — that another day of monotony, judgment, and exhaustion had passed.

He slung his worn-out bag over his shoulder and stepped into the fading light of a winter afternoon.

The air bit sharply against his skin as he muttered under his breath, “Another day pretending everything’s fine… when it’s not.”

The world around him felt blurred — the laughter of classmates, the echo of shoes against concrete, the clouds that seemed too heavy for the sky.

He started walking home, hands shoved deep into his pockets, his breath visible in the icy air.

Inside his head, thoughts spiralled, “I’m getting tired of this… school, people, fake smiles, I should focus on something real. Something that doesn’t vanish the moment the bell rings.”

But fate — cruel and unpredictable — had other plans.

A single drop of rain hit his cheek. Then another. Within seconds, the sky opened up, pouring heavy rain over the streets.

He groaned softly, pulling his hood up, “Tch… great. Just great. Guess I’ll head to the café.”

The Café Shelter, The bell above the café door jingled as Paulo stepped inside, dripping with rain. The scent of coffee and warm pastries filled the air.

He approached the counter and ordered, “One medium espresso, please.” His voice came out quieter than he intended — tired, hollow.

Ten minutes later, his drink arrived. He sat near the window, watching the rain crash against the glass.

The outside world felt distant — like a movie he was forced to watch.

He stared at his reflection in the window.

“You look miserable,” he whispered to himself, “No wonder people barely notice you.”

The espresso’s warmth did little to fight the cold inside him.

After a while, he gathered his things and stepped back into the rain — this time heavier, colder. The world felt hostile, almost like it was warning him to turn back.

As Paulo turned the corner near the park, he froze. There, under the dim yellow glow of a streetlight, stood Lily Hanamori, his girlfriend. And in her arms… was Max Sly.

They weren’t talking. They were kissing.

Max’s arms were locked tightly around her, and Lily — the girl Paulo thought he knew — had her eyes closed, heart-shaped and full of passion that wasn’t meant for him.

The world seemed to stop.

The rain grew louder. His heart pounded like thunder in his ears.

He whispered, barely audible, “Lily…?”

But neither of them heard. They were lost in each other — laughing softly, whispering things he couldn’t make out.

Paulo’s vision blurred. It wasn’t just the rain.

He turned away, every step heavier than the last. His hands trembled. His chest ached in ways he didn’t know it could.

“I was nothing to her… just a placeholder until something better came along.”

He walked faster — almost running — until he reached home. He didn’t even remember unlocking the door.

Inside the bathroom, the mirror fogged as he stood under the shower. Hot water cascaded down, but he felt colder than ever.

Images replayed in his head — Lily’s smile, Max’s hands, their lips. Over and over, like a curse. “Why… why her? Why him? Did I do something wrong? Am I that easy to throw away?”

He pressed his hands to his face and screamed — not loud, but raw. The kind of sound that never leaves a person’s memory.

That same night, in Max’s house, laughter echoed through the room.

Lily sat on the bed, her phone glowing in her hand. On speaker were Shingo Ogawa and Sakura Masusa — Shingo’s sister, both infamous for their popularity and charm.

“So, Lily,” Shingo said with a smirk in his tone, “you’re really done with that Paulo guy? He was always kind of… pathetic.”

Sakura giggled, “Totally. He looked at you like you were his whole world. Cute… but sad.”

Max put his arm around Lily and whispered, “He never deserved you. You’re mine now.”

And Lily, caught between guilt and pleasure, whispered back, “Yeah… I guess he is.”

Then Max’s tone turned darker, “I’m gonna make sure no one ever talks about Paulo again — except to laugh. Watch me.”

He opened his phone and began typing. Within minutes, the chat groups of Keiko Middle School buzzed with whispers, half-truths, and cruel lies.

By midnight, Paulo’s name was dirt.

Friday at 7:58 a.m.

The halls of Keiko Middle were louder than usual. Whispers followed Paulo like shadows as he walked to class. “Is it true he stalked her? They say he begged her to stay with him. He’s so weird lately…”

Paulo kept his head down. The world felt smaller, heavier.

He reached his seat in the back corner, next to Alexis Ness — his only real friend.

Alexis looked at him, concern written all over his face, “Hey, man… you, okay?”

“No,” Paulo said flatly. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.”

He pulled out his phone. His thumbs trembled as he typed, "we are breaking up so enjoy a playboy prick like max."

He hit send. No hesitation. No turning back.

The door slammed open — Sakura Masusa swept into the room, her presence commanding attention as always. Shingo followed her, annoyed, “Sakura, calm down. It’s too early for this drama.”

“Drama?” she snapped, glaring at Paulo. “Tell your friend to stop spreading lies about my brother and Lily!”

Paulo didn’t even look at her. He just stared out the window, watching the wind twist the branches of the old trees outside.

“Let them talk,” he murmured. “Let them all talk. Maybe that’s all I am to them — a story.”

Alexis clenched his fists, “Paulo, don’t let them win. You didn’t do anything wrong—”

“Didn’t I?” Paulo cut him off. His voice was empty. “Maybe I did. Maybe existing was my mistake.”

The bell rang. But for Paulo Satoshi, that sound didn’t mean the start of class.

It meant the end of something inside him — something he could never get back.

The classroom buzzed with voices, laughter, and the rustling of notebooks.

But at the far corner by the window, Paulo Satoshi sat still — motionless — as if time had forgotten him.

His desk was neat, untouched. His textbook lay open to a random page he wasn’t reading.

Outside, the rain hadn’t stopped; it tapped softly against the glass like it was trying to whisper something only he could hear.

He stared through the window — not at anything in particular, but through everything.

His reflection stared back, eyes dull and heavy.

Is this what breaking feels like?

When even silence hurts?

Across the room, Lily walked in with Max. She was laughing — loud, glowing, pretending nothing had happened.

Paulo’s hands tightened around his pencil until it snapped.

The sound drew Alexis’s attention immediately, “Hey, Paulo… you, okay?”

Paulo blinked slowly, then looked down at the broken pencil like he didn’t remember holding it.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Just clumsy.”

Alexis didn’t buy it. His eyes darted between Paulo’s pale face and the dark circles beneath his eyes, “You didn’t sleep, did you?”

Paulo forced a faint smile, “Sleep’s overrated.”

Lily and Max took their seats near the centre of the room. Max glanced back — caught Paulo’s hollow stare for a split second — and smirked.

He whispered something to Lily, and she turned her head slightly, avoiding Paulo’s gaze. Her laugh came out shaky.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

Even now she can’t look at me.

Because guilt has a face. And it’s mine.

The teacher began talking, but Paulo didn’t hear a word. Every sentence sounded like static — meaningless noise.

He could only hear the whispers,

“He’s obsessed with her.”

“He begged her to take him back.”

“Max said he’s been following them after school.”

Each whisper felt like a knife — small, precise, unrelenting.

He hunched lower in his seat, gripping his arm so tightly that his nails dug into the skin. He needed to feel something real — something that wasn’t just pain in his chest.

Alexis leaned closer, whispering, “Ignore them. They’re cowards. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Paulo’s eyes stayed on the window. His voice was quiet, trembling, “Maybe that’s the problem. I didn’t do anything… not even when I should have.”

Outside, thunder rolled. The rain came down harder. The world looked Gray — just like he felt.

When the bell rang for the first break, most students rushed out laughing and chatting.

Paulo didn’t move. He stayed seated, elbows on the desk, hands pressed against his temples.

His thoughts were heavy and slow — like walking through water.

She didn’t even flinch when I texted her.

Not even sorry. Not even a why.

Just silence. Like I never mattered.

Alexis returned from the vending machine, placing a bottle of water on Paulo’s desk.

“You need to drink something.”

Paulo didn’t look up.

“Thanks,” he whispered, voice cracking. “You shouldn’t waste your time on me.”

“You’re my friend,” Alexis said firmly. “That’s not a waste.”

For a second — just one second — Paulo almost smiled. But it faded as soon as his eyes caught Lily again.

She was sitting with Max, her head resting on his shoulder. They were showing each other something on her phone — probably messages, photos, maybe even old ones from him.

He swallowed hard.

“I wonder what version of me they’re laughing at right now.”

Alexis clenched his jaw.

“If Max says one more word about you, I swear—”

“Don’t,” Paulo interrupted softly. “It’s not worth it. Let them have their fun. That’s all they’re good at.”

He looked down at his hands — trembling slightly — and sighed.

“You ever feel like the world decided you’re the villain of someone else’s story… and you didn’t even get to read the script?”

Alexis didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to. He just watched as Paulo slowly unravelled — the way someone does when they’ve been holding too much for too long.

When the final bell rang again, Paulo was the last to stand.

Students streamed out — laughter echoing, sneakers squeaking, life moving on. But Paulo just sat there, staring at his half-empty notebook.

Alexis lingered by the door.

“You are sure you’ll be, okay?”

Paulo nodded, though it was a lie.

“Yeah. I just… need to clear my head.”

Once the room emptied, Paulo finally looked up — the sunlight breaking through the clouds, painting gold across Lily’s empty seat.

“Funny,” he whispered, “how light can hit all the places you wish it wouldn’t.”

He stood, slung his bag over his shoulder, and walked out of the classroom.

Each step echoed like the ticking of a clock — slow, deliberate, final.

The air outside was colder now, and the rain had stopped. The puddles reflected a fading sky.

Paulo stood by the gate, staring at his reflection in the water.

Who are you, Paulo? The guy who loved too much? Or the guy who wasn’t enough?

Maybe both.

He could hear distant laughter — Shingo, Sakura, Max, Lily — the golden circle of Keiko Middle School. The perfect ones.

And somewhere deep inside, something in him broke — quietly, almost peacefully.

He whispered to himself:

“Maybe it’s better if I just… disappear for a while.”

And for the first time in days, his voice didn’t shake.

The rooftop was silent except for the distant hum of the city below.

The sky above was a dull Gray, clouds hanging heavy like his thoughts.

Paulo leaned against the railing, the wind tugging at his jacket, his hair damp from the rain that still clung to the world.

He’d always come here when everything felt too loud — too cruel.

Now, it felt like the only place left where he could breathe.

He pulled out his phone.

The screen glowed against the darkening sky. He hesitated for a moment, fingers trembling above the keyboard.

Then he started typing — no filter, no hesitation.

“I don’t care about the rumours anymore. Or you. Enjoy your time with Max. Alexis is a better person than you’ll ever be. So do us both a favour and stop pretending to care.” He hit send.

The message went out instantly, and for the first time in days, he exhaled — a shaky, bitter breath that almost felt like relief.

He stared out across the campus — the sports field, the classrooms, the kids below who probably already believed every rumour about him.

“Let them believe what they want,” he muttered. “At least now I don’t have to pretend anymore.”

His phone buzzed in his hand. It was Lily. One message. Lily's message was, “Paulo… I didn’t mean for things to go like this.”

He laughed — a quiet, broken sound.

“Yeah,” he whispered, “that’s what they all say.”

He turned the phone face-down on the cold concrete and sank down beside the railing, staring at nothing.

For a moment, he imagined what it would be like if things had gone differently — if she’d chosen to talk to him instead of Max, if the rumours had never started.

If people had looked at him and seen more than a shadow.

But reality didn’t offer “what ifs.” Only what was.

A gust of wind blew past, and the sound of the door creaking open snapped him out of his thoughts.

Alexis stepped onto the rooftop; his bag slung loosely over one shoulder.

“Figured I’d find you up here,” he said quietly, walking closer, “You shouldn’t skip lunch, man. It’s freezing.”

Paulo didn’t move, “I wasn’t hungry.”

Alexis sat down next to him, leaning his elbows on his knees.

“She texted me,” ness said after a long pause, “Lily. Said you told her off.”

Paulo let out a dry laugh, “Good. She deserved it.”

Alexis frowned slightly, “You’re not usually like this.”

“Maybe this is what I’m like,” Paulo replied coldly. “Maybe I was just pretending before.”

The wind howled between them, carrying away the silence that lingered after.

Alexis finally said, “You’re not what they say, Paulo. You’re not what they’re making you out to be.”

“Then why does everyone believe it?” Paulo shot back. “Because it’s easier. Because the truth’s too boring to care about.”

His voice cracked slightly, the anger fading into exhaustion, “I’m just… tired, Lex. Tired of fighting for people who don’t even think I’m worth listening to.”

Alexis didn’t answer. He just sat there beside him, letting the silence speak for both of them. Below, the school bell rang again, echoing faintly across the empty rooftop.

Paulo watched the clouds shift and whispered,

“It’s weird, you know… how one person can destroy everything you thought was real.”

The rooftop door creaked open again.

Paulo didn’t look up — not at first. He thought it was just the wind.

But then he heard voices.

Sharp, familiar ones.

Lily Hanamori stepped out first, clutching her phone. Behind her came Sakura Masusa, arms crossed, expression unreadable but eyes like glass — cold and judging.

Paulo’s shoulders tensed. He stayed seated, gaze fixed on the horizon.

“Guess word travels fast,” he said quietly.

Lily’s tone was trembling, a mix of anger and guilt, “Why would you text me something like that, Paulo?”

He finally turned his head, eyes hollow, “Because it’s the truth.”

Sakura stepped forward, her tone sharp, “You think acting like some tragic victim gives you the right to insult her You’re just making yourself look worse.”

Paulo let out a bitter laugh, low and quiet, “Oh, right. The school’s golden girl speaks. Tell me, Sakura — how long did it take before your brother and Max started twisting the story? A day? Two?”

Sakura’s jaw tightened, “You’re blaming us for the rumours now?”

Paulo stood up slowly, his expression empty but his voice trembling with anger that had been festering for days, “You know exactly what’s going on. You and Shingo — you rule this place like everyone else’s life is just gossip for your entertainment.”

He turned to Lily, eyes softening for a second, “And you… you didn’t even defend me. You let them destroy me while you stood there and watched.”

Lily stepped closer, her eyes wet, “I didn’t mean for it to happen like this, Paulo. I didn’t want—”

“You didn’t want?” he interrupted, his voice breaking. “You didn’t want what? To see me like this? Or to feel guilty about what you did?”

For a moment, the only sound was the wind rushing past the metal railings.

Lily’s tears fell silently. She whispered, “You’ve changed, Paulo.”

He laughed quietly, shaking his head, “No. I finally stopped pretending. That’s all.”

Sakura sighed, taking Lily’s arm, “Come on, Lily. Let’s go. He’s not worth it."

But before they could leave, Alexis appeared in the doorway. His voice was calm, but his eyes were sharp, “That’s enough, Sakura.”

She frowned, clearly annoyed, “What, you’re defending him now?”

“I’m stopping you from making things worse,” Alexis replied.

The tension hung thick in the air — like electricity before a storm. Paulo turned back toward the skyline, not even looking at them anymore. “You can all go,” he said quietly. “I don’t need explanations, or apologies. I just want to be left alone.”

Lily hesitated, her lips trembling as if she wanted to say something — anything — but Sakura pulled her away. As the rooftop door slammed shut behind them, Paulo felt the silence rush back. He finally let out the breath he’d been holding.

Alexis stepped closer. “You didn’t deserve that,” he said. Paulo’s voice was barely audible. “Maybe I did. Maybe this is just… what happens when you care too much.”

He looked out over the Gray city one last time, the wind brushing against his face like a ghost. “It’s strange,” he murmured. “Up here, everything looks so small. Like all the things that hurt you don’t even matter from this high.”

The wind howled across the rooftop, colder than ever.

Paulo stood near the railing, staring out at the endless Gray horizon — the world below blurred by mist and height.

His thoughts were louder than the wind, faster than his heartbeat, "Would anyone even care if I was gone? Would it just be quieter for them? Easier?"

Behind him, the door burst open.

Alexis stepped out of the door frame, his face pale the moment he saw where Paulo was standing, “Paulo—!”

His voice cracked through the air. Paulo flinched but didn’t turn. “Go away, Lex,” Paulo said softly. “You don’t have to watch this.”

“You think this fixes anything?!” Alexis shouted, his voice shaking with fear. “You think leaving like this makes their lies go away?”

Paulo closed his eyes, the wind whipping at his hair, “It’s not about them anymore. It’s about being tired, Alexis. So tired.”

Alexis took a step closer, his voice trembling now, desperate, “Then be tired with me, okay? Don’t face it alone. You don’t deserve this pain.”

The door slammed open again. Lily, Sakura, Shingo, and Max rushed in — their voices overlapping in shock.

“Paulo, no—!” Lily cried out, her voice breaking. That sound — her voice — froze him. He finally turned, his eyes red, distant.

The sight of all of them together — the very people who broke him — made something inside him twist painfully. Sakura’s confident posture vanished. Shingo looked pale. Max’s usual smirk was gone.

For once, they weren’t untouchable. They looked terrified. Alexis held his arm out protectively, his voice firm but breaking, “You all did this. Every rumour. Every lie. Every word. You pushed him to this point.”

Lily’s tears fell fast, “Paulo… I didn’t know it would hurt you like this. I swear, I didn’t—”

“Didn’t what?” Paulo said, his voice trembling but steady. “Didn’t think? Didn’t care?” The silence after that hit like a wave.

Sakura lowered her head. Even she couldn’t meet his eyes. Shingo muttered something — maybe an apology — but his voice faded against the wind.

Max stepped forward slowly, guilt in his face for the first time, “I… I went too far, man.”

Paulo’s chest rose and fell in shallow breaths. His vision blurred again — not from the wind this time, but from tears he didn’t realize he was holding back. Alexis took another step closer, gripping his shoulder tightly. “You’re not alone,” he whispered. “Not now. Not ever.”

Paulo’s body finally gave out. He fell to his knees, clutching his chest as sobs wracked through him. All the anger, the pain, the exhaustion — it came spilling out like the storm itself. Lily rushed forward, falling beside him. She didn’t speak — she just cried, whispering his name over and over.

Sakura knelt behind her, shaking. Even Shingo and Max stayed frozen, watching the reality of what they’d done crash down around them.

For the first time, no one had anything cruel to say. No rumours. No laughter. Only silence — heavy, trembling silence. Alexis kept his arm around Paulo’s shoulders.

“You’re still here,” he whispered. “That’s all that matters right now.” Paulo didn’t answer. But he didn’t pull away, either.

The rooftop was silent except for the howling wind.

Paulo’s fingers trembled as they loosened their grip on the railing. He stepped back, his knees weak. Alexis reached out, steadying him with both hands. “I’ve got you,” he whispered. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

Paulo’s head hung low, his hair falling over his eyes as tears streamed down his face. He sank to the concrete, his whole body shaking. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, barely audible at first. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

His voice cracked again and again, each apology heavier than the last as if he was apologizing for existing, for feeling, for being hurt at all. “I didn’t mean to cause trouble… I didn’t want this… I’m sorry…”

Alexis knelt beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders. “You don’t have to be sorry, Paulo,” he said firmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Not one thing.”

Paulo buried his face in his hands, his sobs echoing against the rooftop walls. “I ruined everything… I ruined everything…”

Lily stood frozen a few steps away, her hand pressed to her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes as she whispered, “He’s apologizing to us? After everything we did to him?”

Sakura looked pale, her arms hanging limply at her sides. Shingo shifted uncomfortably, guilt flickering across his face. Even Max had gone silent — his usual arrogance completely gone, replaced with something unsteady and ashamed.

Lily slowly stepped forward, kneeling a few feet from Paulo, Her voice was trembling, “Paulo… you don’t have to say sorry. It’s me. It’s us. We’re the ones who—”

She choked on her words. Sakura, for once, didn’t interrupt. Her eyes were glassy as she muttered under her breath, “We almost destroyed him…”

Paulo’s crying only grew louder, raw and jagged. His words blurred into broken fragments, “I tried… I tried so hard… I loved you… why… why…”

Alexis tightened his hold on him, looking up at the others. His voice was sharp, furious, “Look at him. This is what your rumours did. This is what your games did.”

Max swallowed hard, unable to meet Paulo’s eyes. Shingo shifted back a step, his voice small for the first time, “We didn’t think… we didn’t think it would get this bad…”

Alexis glared at them, “You didn’t think, period.” Lily wiped at her eyes, “I am so sorry, Paulo. I am so, so sorry…” Paulo’s sobs slowed into shaky breaths. His voice was almost a whisper.

“I just wanted to be enough…” Alexis whispered back, steady and gentle. “You are. You always were. You just had the wrong people around you.”

Paulo slowly lifted his head, his eyes red and unfocused. He looked at Lily, at Sakura, at Max — and for the first time, they looked small.

He was not angry anymore. Just empty, broken. The group stood there in silence, the winter wind cutting between them. For once, no one had anything to say.

Back on the battle in the Cosmic base one of Paulo’s eyes began to glow as he says, “You killed Alexis, now I will kill you.”