Chapter 2:

I WOKE UP to see my mom standing in the doorway. She could clearly tell that I had been crying again. I was sure that she had heard about what had happened that morning by the look of concern on her face. She saw that I was waking up, so she came over to my bed and gave me a hug.

"Sweetie, what happened?" Part of me hated it when she called me that, but part of me liked it for some reason.

I related to her all of the bullying crap that had happened to me that day. When I told her about what happened with Matt after school. She immediately got on the phone and called her boss to find out why that kid had been allowed on my bus – he said he would look into it. After a quick and silent dinner, I put on my clothes for soccer practice.

Soccer was the only sport I really liked to play. In all honesty it was the only one I had even a modest amount of skill in. I couldn't catch or throw to save my life, so the other normal sports of baseball and football were definitely out. On my soccer team I was a defensive sweeper. Even though I was so small, most of the time I managed to get the ball away from my opponent's team, and pass it to the offensive players on my team. Our team goal for that year was to make it into the city championships.

The team was coed, and I said, 'hi,' to all of my friends as I got there. The nice thing about my soccer team was that they were all the same age as me, meaning that I was the only one in the sixth grade; the rest were in fifth grade. I'd been playing with the same teammates for four years now, and we all pretty much got along. We benefited from having an awesome coach that understood that sports should be fun. Yes hard work was involved, but there was the human aspect to it that so many coaches didn't have. He understood that we were just kids.

We went through a lot of drills that night using cones and having other people try and get past with the balls, as well as some goal shooting against our goalie. Practice ended with a short scrimmage, our team divided into two. By the time practice ended I was thoroughly exhausted. I came home and sat down at the kitchen table with a bottle of Gatorade. My parents sat on either side of me while the TV was on in the background.

"Ooh I almost forgot!" I exclaimed and ran to get my backpack and pulled out the brochure and letter about the trip.

"Ms. Fitzgerald came up from the elementary school to give this to us today!" I showed my mom and dad the packet that Ms. Fitz had given us that afternoon. "I'd get to go to Florida and see Kennedy Space Center! They even take us to Space Camp!" I said excitedly. It had been a dream of mine to go to Space Camp ever since I watched the movie by the same title.

My dad looked at it and said, "I don't know, it's not cheap."

My mom looked at him and said, "Well I don't know that he would ever have this chance again though. This is really a once in a lifetime chance to do all of this."

My dad looked at us and said, "Okay we can look into it, I'm not saying yes until I can spend some time thinking about it first."

I hugged him and sat back down; knowing to push it any further at this point would be a good way to get a no. "So what's this I hear about you fighting today?" My dad asked.

"Umm... it wasn't really fighting..." I continued to relate the events of the day, though not as thoroughly as with Mom. I didn't talk to him as much about stuff. In all honesty he was at his job's beck and call twenty-four hours a day most of the time, which meant I didn't see him nearly enough.

After I finished relating the story he looked at me and said, "Maybe I should find this Matt kid and teach him some manners." Flexing his muscles...

I had little doubt that he would think about doing that, but Mom and I said, "That's a bad idea, then you would just get in trouble."

"Well, let me know if you have any more trouble with him and we'll deal with it." Just at that moment the phone rang and Mom picked it up.

"Brandon it's for you!" Covering the microphone she whispered to me, "It's a girl!"

I blushed and took it in the other room away from prying ears. Who would be calling me?

"Hello?"

"Hey Brandon? This is Amy." Amy was calling me? My heart just about stopped.

"Hi," I somehow kept from stammering.

"Hey I heard something and wanted to make sure you were okay. Someone said that Matt got on your bus and tried to jump you today. Are you okay?" She asked, very concerned.

"Yeah, I managed to trip him and get away, then I ran home as quickly as I could." I paused for a second before asking, "How did you hear about it?"

"Well, Halley called Lindsey, and Lindsey called me, and told me that Matt tried to beat you up after school, but he was the one that got beat up."

"HUH??" I asked.

"Apparently when you tripped him he went head over heels and hit his face against the concrete. The rumor going around is that he broke his nose!" She said giggling.

"No way... Great, now he'll really be after me." I said.

"Actually, I have a feeling you'll be alright for a while, apparently the police came by just before you ran off and saw him attempt to attack you. They were the ones that took him to the Emergency Room."

"I can't believe that they didn't come down and talk to me." I said.

"Well Halley's dad, he's a cop, said that they're going to come by the school tomorrow and talk to you to see if you want to press charges. They watched the whole thing go down, seeing him clearly attack you. This could mean we could finally be rid of him!" She said.

"Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm still scared he's going to try and get even. So this is all over school already?" I asked.

"Yeah, the fact that you 'beat up' Jeff and Matt in the same day is making waves around the phones today."

I smiled, "Well neither is true, but maybe people will back off for a while." I paused and then decided to see if she would talk about anything else, "So what are you up to besides checking on me?"

We struck up a conversation and talked for fifteen minutes before her mom started nagging her to get off the phone. "Brandon I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay, talk to you later!" I hung up the phone, happier than I had been in years. I told Mom and dad about what I heard and they both decided that meeting the principals tomorrow would be a good idea. I went to bed dreaming that maybe the next day would be better.

THAT NEXT DAY was Friday, so much for TGIF? When I got to school kids were whispering behind my back like I was some sort of alien that inhabited Brandon's body.

From the time I arrived through my first hour class, nothing happened. No one called me names, shoved me in the hallway, or picked on me at all. During second period I got called to come down to the office. I found my parents waiting in the chairs there. We went in together to talk to the Principal, Mrs. Hinther. During our meeting my dad made clear, in no uncertain terms, that Matt was to be nowhere near me ever again in this school. He added that if this stuff didn't stop they would be hiring an attorney to sue the district for not doing its' job of protecting students.

My parents both ranted at her for a long while. She seemed to turn white as a ghost at times with my parents' discussion of legal action. During our meeting she also asked me a series of questions trying to find out exactly what had happened. She seemed to be carefully wording them so as not to upset my parents anymore than they already were. After all of this she assured my parents that though she could not talk about another student's disciplinary action, she would make sure we didn't come in contact at all. She switched his schedule completely around, dropping him from band as well as a couple other classes I had with him.

At that point in the meeting she called the school resource officer in and he took a statement from me. My parents also filled out the forms to file charges against him. He said it should be a pretty clear cut case since the officers' had filed their own reports of what they had observed. The officers' statements lined up with my statement perfectly.

We finished up during third hour, and I returned to choir right after the meeting let out. Before I left to go to class though Mom let me know that she had found out from the bus yard boss that Matt would not be allowed on the buses for the remainder of the school year. Mom also let my driver have a piece of her mind that morning... Crossing an only child's parents is tantamount to messing with a grizzly bear with cubs!

When I got to choir I stood by Amy who asked what had happened. I told her everything in a low whisper before class started.

About the time I finished telling Amy what happened, Pete asked, "So is it true Brandon? Did you really beat up Matt?"

"Well, I tripped him and he went flying if that's what you mean?" The kids were all very impressed with this. But I knew it wasn't going to solve my problems. I knew for a fact that Lucas was already talking a lot of threats towards me to retaliate. Matt had been removed from school pending expulsion hearings, and because of that Lucas had become the leader by natural selection. Still...

Mrs. Schultz interrupted our conversation and said, "Okay we need to get started."

We sang and worked on a piece for about ten minutes before she got mad about something and stormed into her office crying.

I whispered to Amy, "I feel bad for her, but I have to say I'm glad to see there's one other person at this school that gets picked on more than I do!" She snickered. We both agreed she was a terrible teacher. That was something we'd talked about the night before.

Amy and I talked to each other back and forth for the rest of the period before the bell rang and we went to lunch. Lucas came up to the line behind us and asked, "Amy why are you hanging out with this loser?"

"I don't know which loser you're referring to. The only one I see at the moment is you." She replied nonchalantly.

He started to open his mouth to reply but stopped as a teacher came over and said, "Lucas I don't believe you were in that spot there... Why don't you go back to the end?"

Lucas tried arguing with the teacher but gave way eventually. I got my food and went to the table farthest away from anyone again. As I set my food down though, I saw Amy coming towards me, along with some of her friends. "Brandon may we sit with you?"

"Sure." I said... I wasn't really sure what to do. This was strange. We sat and talked all through lunch – eventually moving outside and sitting together on the grass. I decided to go get something to drink from the snack bar and started walking back inside. On my way in there I ran into Matt's girlfriend, Liza.

"Brandon why are you sticking your chest out like that? What? Are you trying to look like a girl? I guess that makes sense, that's how you fight, cry, and act."

I was dumbstruck, my day had been going so well. I managed to get inside to the bathroom before breaking down for a few minutes. I came out and found Amy waiting by the door.

"Brandon, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just tired of getting crap all the time. I was hoping it would get better today. I guess I should have known better." I said while looking down at my feet.

"Brandon, look, you're an awesome guy, and I'm really proud to have you as my friend. Can you trust me on something?"

I thought for a second then nodded, "I guess."

"You are so much cooler than they are that it's sickening. You're also the sweetest guy I know. You've put up with so much crap, and I'm sorry it keeps happening. But know that I'll be here for you okay?"

"Thanks," I said meekly.

"Now I'm guessing you want to get that drink before the snack bar closes?" She asked.

"Sure," I said and then got into line. Once we had gotten my drink she walked back outside with me. From that point forward in the year it was an odd time to see one of us without the other at lunch.

I was fortunate enough to somehow make it through the rest of the day without anything else happening. Lucas didn't even ride the bus for some reason that day! That meant I didn't have to worry about anything that day at the bus stop. What a week!

WHEN I GOT home I went inside and sat down in front of the computer. I got on the internet and just started looking around. I saw there was a really cool new video game coming out next month, and I knew I would have to ask for it for Christmas. I got bored and decided to go and play with some toys. Yes I know I was in sixth grade, but really who doesn't still want to play with Legos!?

I sat down building something or another and thought about what had happened that day. Liza's words were still ringing in my ears for some reason. I kept running her exclamation through my brain again and again, "Brandon why are you sticking your chest out like that? What? Are you trying to look like a girl?"

I had read a Star Wars book a couple weeks before that the author had written something like, "if someone calls you a Hutt once, ignore them. If someone calls you a Hutt twice start to wonder, and if someone calls you a Hutt a third time, buy a drool bucket and start stockpiling spice."

Her comment was making me wonder. I had been getting called a girl so often, and now that statement... To be honest I had for many years fantasized about being a little kid again. Even all the way back to being a baby again, because those were the last times I remembered really being happy. I'd been picked on for so long – I was tired of it! Perhaps if I'd been a girl...?

Really... perhaps if I'd been born a girl, life would have been better. I got it into my head that girls aren't constantly beating up each other; they're not constantly picking on one girl. I got up from my toys and went to the bathroom. As I stood washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror. I stared for several minutes.

What would I look like if I was a girl? I looked at my body and noted that I was small enough that if I had longer hair maybe I could get away with looking like one. Nah it was no use... Even though I was probably the most clueless person on sex, I still knew that my parts didn't look like a girls'...

I kept thinking about it. Hair might be the key to me looking more like a girl. About that time I heard Mom come in and she asked me how my day went. I told her everything but Liza's comment. I wanted to think about her statement without having any one getting in the way of my thinking. I didn't have soccer practice that night, so we rented some movies.

She had rented some 'chick flick,' and I rented a kids movie. I grumbled at watching the sappy movie, but honestly I enjoyed it more... That disturbed me slightly and added to my uneasiness.

When the movie was over Mom announced that it was time to take my bath, since I had a soccer game tomorrow. I sat down in the bath and thought more about the idea of being a girl instead of a boy. On one hand I thought kids would probably make fun of me a lot for trying to be a girl... but really how much more could I get picked on?

Mom and dad were already talking about taking me out of school and home schooling me or something. If it wasn't for band I was sure they would have pulled me out this week. I had already thought about using that argument to get them to buy me a clarinet. At the beginning of the summer I had really wanted to play either flute or clarinet – I had done really well on both of them when I had tried them at the music store. But they had bought me the saxophone hoping that kids would have one less reason to make fun of me.

It honestly didn'tmatter, as they said 'Damned if you do, damned if you don't.' It was a fact of life, though I did see somelight at the end of the tunnel. Ifpeople recognized that I wasn't quite helpless after having 'beat up' two guysin one day, maybe I could enjoy some peace. I tossed and turned most of the night, not sleeping real well thatnight. During the course of that night Idreamed of how great it would be to have long hair like a girl. Even if I couldn't –be- a girl, maybe I couldkind of look like one?

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