Thirteen

I didn't know if I wanted to tell Buddy or not. I knew I wanted to still be his friend. I knew I didn't want things to change, but something had to. I couldn't keep things up the way they were. We couldn't cuddle anymore, but we could still hug. We couldn't keep kissing each other on the cheek like it was no big deal (even though it was, in fact, no big deal). And part of me wondered if we could keep telling each other 'I love you.' No matter what, it was platonic. At least to me. If he was going to say it the way he did Friday night, I couldn't let him say it again until we were back to being platonic buddies.

I wanted to get it out of the way. Tell him I didn't have any romantic feelings for him because he'd always been my best friend, and that was all he was ever going to be to me. I couldn't that Monday. We were supposed to go out to the batting cage with Devon and his cousins, and since Buddy was supposed to come with us, I didn't want to say anything that would ruin everyone's time. No matter what, Buddy was going to come with, rejected or not, and if he was upset, it would bring everyone down. I couldn't let that happen. Not while I was still trying to get to know Devon.

All day, I was excited to see him. I missed him over the weekend. I thought about texting him, but I decided against it. What was I supposed to tell him, anyway? "Hey, thinking of you. Whatcha up to?" Yeah, right.

Today, I planned to have my friends bond. He'd meet Darcy in his own time, but Devon and Buddy were going to get along today. Even if I had to force it. I needed Devon to meet someone who he could feel comfortable with when he went back to school. I wouldn't be with him every moment of the day, but Darcy and Buddy apparently filled the voids for all his other classes. I needed everyone to get along.

"Is your stomach feeling any better?" Buddy asked. I was in my head a lot during the day, hardly talking to him. At lunch, I went straight to the band room and practiced my drumming since the school's band was out on the field to practice for Homecoming next month. And Darcy covered for me by telling him she heard my stomach issues and said it was caused by my period, which was coming, so it worked out.

"Much," I told him. I could fake it. Fake knowing that I knew he liked me. I could continue to be as friendly as ever and keep the façade up. I had to. At least for today.

"Good," he exhaled, relieved. "I thought we were going to have to cancel today."

"You're looking forward to it?"

He smiled. "Of course. You know how all those girls came up to me and asked if Devon said anything weird to me when you two left? I don't want them to have those sorts of ideas either." He shuddered. "Despite that scary look in his eyes."

"That's because he was nervous to meet you. He has social anxiety, and it comes out in an intense glare. It wasn't personal."

"That's a relief," he chuckled. "I thought he hated me."

"He thought the same thing about you. At least you'll be able to clear that up tonight."

He sighed. "Yeah."

I clapped his back as we stepped up to his new car in the parking lot. I would have driven with him in the morning, but I told him I had my own ride for the day. Really, I just walked. I wasn't ready in the morning, but talking with him like we normally did made things feel a lot simpler. Maybe I didn't need to bring it up.

"You've met his cousins. Are they nice?"

I chortled. "Is that what you're worried about? All of them are super nice. You'll love them."

"I hope so."

I smiled. "You got me by your side. You don't have to worry about anything."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and nodded. "Damn right I don't." This felt normal. There were no extra feelings there, and I couldn't feel them radiate off him. We were more physical people. Touching was just something we did. It never actually meant anything. But if the truth came out, would things still feel as normal as they did?

"Mel!" Devon's cousins exclaimed as we entered the batting cage. It was still sealed off, so Dave had to bring us in. The one thing I noticed about him was that he was the quiet type. Not in a nervous or cruel or shy way. He just wasn't a big talker, but it didn't seem Buddy knew that yet. To go from the silent type to the loud types surprised him, and he stood behind me instead of beside me.

"Oh, come on," I stated, as I grabbed his hand and dragged him further into the room. Bella, Francine, and Sylvester all stood behind the metal fence as Devon stood on Homeplate, batting as the balls automatically shot towards him. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't very great either. But with his cousins cheering him on, he was having a blast, laughing with them.

When he heard my name, his head instantly shot to mine. He smiled widely as he left, but a ball shot right for his side. He nimbly dodged the throw, but he jumped against the door.

While his cousins laughed and he bashfully smiled, I stepped over to him as he exited. "Are you good?"

"Perfectly alright," he said as he closed the door, and the balls stopped shooting. His grip on the bat tightened as he gazed down at me. "I'm really glad you could make it." He looked up at Buddy, who stepped up to us. "Both of you. It means a lot that you could come."

"We wouldn't miss it," Buddy said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and it suddenly felt weird again. There was something in his tone, in the way his arm tightly wrapped around me. There was that awkward feeling again of him liking me, but why would it come out now of all times? What was he trying to show off for? There was no one around to ridicule me and make me feel bad. He didn't need to show off, so I gently unraveled his arm from my shoulders.

"How has work been?" I asked.

"It's good." He groaned. "Long since no one ever comes by the community center, but that should hopefully change soon after the relaunch party."

"Are you going to be working, then?"

"No, I asked for the day off. If anyone from school comes and sees me working there, they may not want to come back. I might as well let them enjoy the party and find a reason to come back. Besides, I mainly work during school hours anyway, so unless they're ditching or it's an institute day, they aren't likely to see me."

"That's stupid," Buddy commented.

"Buddy," I warned.

"You work there. Your cousin owns the damn place. Everyone should get over themselves because you have a stupid job. Everyone needs to work eventually. You got one at the community center. It's not like you're going to do anything to jeopardize your job." He smirked. "Plus, you can't technically get fired for scaring away business."

"No, I can," Devon said as he faced Dave. "He is a business owner. He doesn't want it to fail."

"Then I guess you're going to have to come back to school," Buddy shrugged. "Get people to stop being afraid of you."

"Easier said than done."

"Better not to give up and actually stand your ground then let your anxiety run your life."

"Buddy," I gasped.

Both boys stared at each other, their eyes cold and menacing. But I knew Buddy enough to know that he was challenging Devon to stop letting his fears overtake his life and learn to get over them. And I also knew the look in Devon's eyes was him putting up a front to prevent himself from being walked over by Buddy. Usually, that inferred he was going to punch someone, but so long as Buddy didn't insult anyone he cared about or made a first move, Devon wouldn't do anything.

"I'm just being honest," Buddy stated, not looking away from Devon. "He wants to go back to school, he should go back to school. There's no use in letting his meaningless peers prevent him from going back."

"No offense, Buddy, but you don't know shit, so I'd prefer it if you didn't talk you like you do," Devon gritted. "If I go back now, I have no problem punching Jett again and again until he begs to take back what he said. And I will never forgive him for it."

That took both of us by surprise.

"What did Jett say?" I slowly asked.

Looking down at me, his glare softened into a chirpy smile. He placed his hand on my back and led me over to the group. "Let's not think about depressing things. We're here to have fun."

"Yeah, Mel, you should get in the cage!" Sylvester exclaimed. "I want to see you bat."

"Why does it sound weird when you say it?" Francine quipped.

"What- Oh," he winced. "She knows what I mean, though."

"Thankfully, I do," I smirked. I grabbed the bat from Devon's hand and entered the cage. Everyone talked behind me. While the cousins cheered me on, I spotted Devon and Buddy talking. Their eyes were dark, but it wasn't intimidating anymore. It was sad. After missing the ball a few times, their eyes grew lighter, their conversation taking a turn for the better.

I was relieved. I hoped they'd become friends after today, because Buddy made it apparent that he wanted Devon to come back to school. Devon needed another person on his side. Buddy made a great ally.

I finally hit the ball, but it went left and hit the clothed fence a few feet away from me. The cousins laughed, still hollering and cheering me on. I turned to face them and said, "I'm not good at sports. These hands are made for one thing- And it's not what you're thinking."

Francine snorted she laughed so hard. Bella asked, "Then what is it?"

"Drumming," Devon and Buddy replied.

"Bingo!" I exclaimed, as a ball shot for my thigh. But I quickly stepped out of the way.

"At least I know to fix the launcher," Sylvester commented.

"You need to get more than one remote," Devon stated, before entering the cage with me. "May I?"

"Sure." I handed him the bat, but he nuzzled it back into my hands. He stood behind me, wrapping his arms around from the back. He moved my hands along the handle. He pushed down on my shoulders to get me to bend my knees. He then wrapped his hands back around me and told me, "Swing later than you think. The ball needs to be closed."

He did one practice swing while still holding onto me, and I felt something stir within me. When I hit the ball, I glanced back at him from over my shoulder, and he gazed down at me with plenty of pride in his eyes. His cousins whooped behind us teasingly, but I ignored them. Devon took a step back, allowing me to hit on my own, but I was having a lot more fun when he was holding onto me.

"Come back," I said.

"Still need help?" he chuckled.

"No, I just want you to do that again."

He laughed as he looked away from me, and Francine and Dave cackled as Bella and Sylvester hollered for us. Only Buddy was silent as he glared at Devon. The same glare he always had whenever his name was brought up. And it suddenly made sense.

Buddy had feelings for me, and he was jealous of Devon.