Fifteen

"Mel!" Petula exclaimed as I entered the Clubhouse the next day. "Great news! My boyfriend it playing at Orville, and I got two tickets for you and Buddy."

I tried to smile normally. I really, really did. But when Petula's face fell and Brody glanced at me, it was obvious I wasn't doing a great job at hiding my nerves. Alone with Buddy, and at another concert, too. At least Petula would be with us. Then again, I wouldn't put it past Buddy to use the crowd as an excuse to hold my hand again. I refused to hold his hand if he liked me. That would be part of me leadin' him on.

"You good, Mel?" Brody questioned.

"Huh? Oh, great. Thanks, Petula."

"Are you not wanting to go anymore?" she questioned. Her eyes popped out of her head and panic coated her face. "It's not that I need you to go, but I'd really prefer it if you did. It'd be a long, long time until I could get you guys tickets again."

"No, it's not that. Trust me, I want to go." I needed to meet this man she's dating. There was obviously a reason she kept thinking Brody and I were going to date, so I had to meet the man who'd cause her to think about that. But until I could tell Buddy I knew he liked me, I didn't want to go anywhere with him.

"Are you worried about day?" she questioned.

"Yes," I lied. "You just sprung it on me, I'm worried I might be busy."

"Oh, well it's not next Friday, but it's the Friday after."

"Two weeks before The Struts concert," Brody smirked. "No overlap there."

"I'll be there. I need to check with Buddy first," I slowly adlibbed at the end.

"Great," Petula squealed as she sat back at her table and continued to paint.

Brody whistled and ushered me to the front desk. I leaned in and he whispered, "What's really going on between you two?"

I whined as I buried my face in his desk. He patted my head, patiently waiting for me to answer him. "It's Buddy," I whimpered. "He likes me."

"He told you?"

"Not yet, but I know. I've been avoiding him."

"Mel," he sighed, disappointed.

"I know. I know. I'm not good with this sort of confrontation. You know how hard it was to ask for Jeanie to come to the concert with me. I don't want to deal with hurting my best friend."

"Tell him why you've been avoiding him. He must be so confused right now."

"I know."

Brody sighed as he walked past the counter to hug me, and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "I know you don't want to hurt him, but you two are friends. It's not just about his feelings. This involves you too. And if you're not looking for a relationship, then don't force it. Just be his friend, because I'm sure that's enough for him. And if it's not, then it's better to get rid of the toxic people in your life sooner than later."

And I kept that in mind all night until I saw Buddy the next day. I waited for him by his locker, hoping he would show up before homeroom. I wasn't planning to tell him I knew until after school. My intentions were to first apologize, tell him about the tickets, and then tell him while he dropped me off at the Clubhouse so we could move on with our lives.

Buddy hurried over to his locker, shocked to see me. The moment he did, he calmly walked over and leaned against his neighbor's locker, facing me. "Roy told me you were in front of my locker. I knew I should have come this morning."

I shrugged. "It's fine. I would have talked to you after English anyway." Before he could say anything, I said, "I'm sorry for avoiding you. I've been dealing with some shit that I'll explain later, but it wasn't cool to just blow you off."

"All's forgiven. Are you okay?" he quickly asked.

"Peachy," I said with a forced smile.

He wasn't convinced.

"In brighter news, Petula got us tickers for her boyfriend's concert."

"When is it?"

"Not next Friday but the following."

"Okay," he whispered. "I should be able to get my grades up by then."

"Grades? Are you failing?"

"No, but I have a D in math. Until I can get it up to C, my parents will not let me go to those sorts of things. Your house, mine, or the Clubhouse are it."

I smirked. "What about Devon's?"

"What about his?" he asked, fed up.

"He tutored me for today's test. He's really smart. He's even following the curriculum online so he doesn't fall behind. He can tutor you, too. Then you'll pass the test, get your grade up to a C, possibly even a B, and then you can go." If he still wanted to go with me after I break his heart.

Devon didn't say anything on the way to homeroom, but it was obvious he was out of choices. He could study on his own, but that wasn't working. Neither would studying with me, because I couldn't teach shit. "When can he meet us? The test's in a few days."

"I'll text him."

Devon said he could tutor us that afternoon around five, so Buddy came to the Clubhouse with me, and I didn't bring it up then. When we walked through the doors and Brody raised a questioning eyebrow at me, I shook my head and hurried over to my drums. Before Brody could tell me to do my homework first, Buddy sparked a conversation with him that kept him busy.

I played nonstop, practically an hour long drum solo. By the end of my session, I felt calmer and relaxed. Buddy being in the room didn't seem to stress me out as much, and I was prepared to face my long awaited conversation with him. At the end of the night, I was going to tell him I knew about his feelings and that I didn't feel the same way.

I was ready.

^^^

"PEMDAS," Devon emphasized. "Parenthesis, exponents, multiplication and division, and then addition and subtraction."

"So...fourteen, not twenty, right?" Buddy questioned.

"Exactly," Devon encouraged. He glanced over my shoulder. "How are you doing?"

"I've decided I'm going to sharpen my pencil till it's sharp enough to stab myself," I replied, smiling politely.

"If you do, you'll never become a drummer," Buddy smirked, not looking up from his homework.

"Damn," I said, and tossed the pencil on the table. "This is hard! I don't want to do this."

Devon leaned down to check my work, and he chuckled. "I don't know why you're upset. You've only got two wrong."

"What?" Buddy exclaimed, jerking his head up to me. "How the hell are you better than I am?"

"Because I'm amazing," I smirked. "Actually, I don't know. Are you sure?" I asked Devon.

"Positive." He pointed out my mistakes in the two I got wrong and showed me how to fix it before doing the next twenty. I didn't want to, but I knew I had to do good on the test as well. And if Devon was taking the time to show us how to do it correctly, then I would take the study session seriously and actually work.

"Where's your bathroom?" Buddy questioned, and Devon pointed down the hall.

When we heard the bathroom door shut, Devon glanced down the hallway before leaning down to ask me, "Was it him who likes you?"

"Yes."

"Am I the person he's jealous of?" he asked, as though he'd be astonished if it were.

I sighed. "Unfortunately. It's not like there's a reason for him to be."

"Of course not," he said, smiling at me. "Have you told him yet?"

"No, I'm planning to tonight. Why? Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"No. You should tell him. I was more curious because of the way he stares at us."

"His staring?"

"Not possessive, but I can see some jealousy." He scoffed. "What's there to be jealous of?"

"Nothing," I said, though I felt an ache in my chest when I said that.

Devon opened his mouth, but the bathroom door opened before he could say anything. He pushed himself off the table and opened the fridge, pouring everyone a glass of water.

We stayed for another hour and half before calling it a night. Buddy had a curfew, and I wanted to get the night done and over with. I was ready for it, but that didn't mean I was looking forward to it.

Before I left the house, Devon patted my back and whispered, "Good luck."

"Thanks," I whispered back.

I climbed into the passenger seat, and Buddy started the minute drive to my house. I knew I needed to say something, as I told him I would explain why I'd been distant all week. That had to be a good way to start the conversation.

"It was nice of Devon to tutor us," Buddy commented as he pulled into my driveway. "Should I thank him more properly with dinner or a gift card or something?"

"It's just friends helping friends," I chuckled. "You don't owe him anything. He's not expecting anything."

"Still," he said. "I feel like I owe him something."

"Buddy," I said, a little too loudly.

He jumped slightly in his seat before looking at me. "Yeah?"

"I know you like me."