Chapter 9

Dear diary,

that's how you're supposed to start this off, correct?

I haven't written in the old thing for a while, not since mother died. Aunt Mary got this for me around a month after it happened, so I could write down how I was feeling, since I didn't really talk to her about things like that. Of course, if mother was still around, I would have someone to talk to. I wouldn't have to write it down in some book. I was twelve when I last wrote in this, its been four years since then. That's because, I haven't needed to write in here. Until now, I suppose. Things have been fine, actually they've been great. I've grown closer to Y/n, and unfortunately, so has Caleb. A lot has happened in the past few years. As irritating as it may be, Caleb has had a crush on Y/n for the past year and a half, or at least that's how long I've known for. He's been awfully flirty with her, its disgusting. And I hate watching it, mainly because I can't tell if she enjoys it or not. If she feels the same way about him, I hope she doesn't. I kind of wish I told her how I felt before she left, I mean, a while before she left. Maybe we would have gotten somewhere if I had. Should I have been doing what Caleb has? I've never tried flirting before, really. Not that I intend too, what would be the point? It feels like almost nothing matters right now, everything I see, or hear, or even think of reminds me of her.

I didn't realize that five little words could break me so easily.

"I have to move away."

If I have to be honest, it felt like the world was crashing down on me. Everything felt broken. Out of place, unreal. I didn't want to believe it but as she said it again, the words registered in my head. Over and over again, I wanted it to stop. I wanted the words to disappear. I didn't want to hear them, I didn't want her to say them. Because when she did, there was nothing I could do. Shes everything to me, my best friend. Well, I was hoping for maybe more than just that. But I never had the guts to say it, because if she didn't feel the same, it would hurt more. More than if I just didn't say it in the first place. I didn't want to lose what we had by telling her. So I've kept it to myself but now what am I supposed to do? She said that i'm always charismatic, charming, a people person. And that I could make more friends in no time. I know that I could, but I wanted her. I didn't want some other person. Or some other people to be friends with. I couldn't even settle for someone like Y/n, I need her. I don't even know how long she's going to be gone for, or if i'll ever see her again. I wonder why she didn't tell me sooner. Why did she have to tell me at the last minute? If she told me before hand, maybe I wouldn't be acting like this. Maybe I would have more time to think. I could have done something special for her, but I had no time. I simply didn't. I'm sure that I would have done something stupid, like try to convince her parents to stay. Or try to let her stay.

(Alastor pov, yesterday morning)

I wasn't feeling the best so, I was staying home from school for the day. Last night, I was trying out some of mothers recipes and trying to cook them myself. I think I messed it up somehow because I ended up throwing up in the middle of the night. I was making Jambalaya but I think the meat might have gone bad.

I woke up at the time I usually did, and immediately rushed to the restroom. I suppose my stomach was still messed up. After a few minutes, I felt okay but I couldn't fall back asleep. So, I went downstairs. As I did, there was a knock on the front door.

"Aunt Mary?" I called out when I got down the steps.

"Hm? Yes Hun?" She asked, stepping out of the kitchen.

"Are you expecting anyone?" I asked as she shook her head.

"No, but go ahead and open the door. Maybe its the papers." She said, walking back into the kitchen.

"Hello?-Oh Good morning, Y/n. I didn't expect you to be here." I said as I heard a gasp from the kitchen.

"Y/n? Oh hello, what are you doing here?" She said, walking over to where I was standing.

"Hi Mary, I was just coming to see Alastor." She said.

"I'll leave you two be, then." She said with smile before walking back into the kitchen.

"Sorry, i'm not going to go to school today. I'm guessing that's why you're here, to walk with me?" I asked as she shook her head.

"No uh, i'm not going either. Can you come with me though?" She asked. I wasn't particularity planning on going out but, this seemed important.

"Sure, would you like to wait inside while I get ready?" I asked as she nodded.

"Okay, i'll be quick. Just give me a minute." I said as she chuckled and sat down on the couch.

"Just try and hurry." She said. I didn't know why she was in such a rush but I didn't bother to question it at the moment. I quickly got ready, throwing on a a simple button up and some trousers, along with some socks and my shoes.

"Done?" She asked as I hurried down the stairs.

"Mhm." I said, walking over to where she was sitting.

"Great, but we have to go now. I don't have a lot of time." She said.

"Time? I-mh okay." I said. I was beginning to grow more confused by the second. First, she doesn't go to school and now shes telling to hurry, that she doesn't have a lot of time? Time for what exactly?

"Aunt Mary! I'm going out with Y/n for a little while, i'll be back soon." I said.

"Oh? Weren't you just throwing up last night? Are you sure you're okay to go out?" She asked, poking her head out of the kitchen.

"I'll be fine, its only for a little anyways." I said.

"Okay then, have fun you two. Come back if you start feeling sick again." She said.

"I will." I said as she went back to cooking. Y/n moved her head, signalling for the door. I walked over there and opened it, allowing her to leave first.

"Thank you." She said, stepping out.

"Of course." I said, walking out after her and shutting the door behind me.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, as she reached for my hand and holding it tight.

"Hm?" I asked with a smile, she doesn't usually do this. I'm normally the one to grab her hand, not that i'm complaining though.

"We've been there before. Just wait until we get there, okay?" She asked.

"Alright, i'll wait." I said.

We continued walking for a little while until we reached the old pond we used to go to. We still hang out, of course. But we haven't been here since we were I think, twelve or thirteen.

"Sit." She said, her hand still in mine. She sat down herself, so I was forced to sit too.

"Y/n, why are we here?" I asked, she dangled her feet just above the water.

"Memories, I guess." She said with a small smile.

"You're acting weird, whats going on?" I asked. It was true, I couldn't understand why she was acting like this. She sighed and looked me in my eyes.

"I have to move away.." She said. I felt as stiff as a rock, like I was frozen in place. The smile that was on my face instantly faded away. How could this be happening? After everything, shes just moving away?

"No, no. You can't, w-why are you moving?" I asked, a tear falling from her e/c eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to. But my mother and father have had dreams of opening a bakery for a while and they want to start somewhere fresh, break new ground for themselves." She said. This wasn't fair.

"Well you aren't moving that far, right? Just to a new neighborhood or something?" I asked, she shifted and pulled me into a hug, beginning to play with my hair.

"I'm moving to a city called Trenton, its all the way on the other side of Louisiana." She said. I had heard of it before, and it is far. Farther than I could ever walk, or drive. As she said that, my breath became more shaky. I could feel tears brimming my eyes, I tried my best to not let them fall but I was unsuccessful.

"But you can't leave. You can't leave me too." I said, just barely louder than a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Alastor. I don't want to leave you either, I really don't. But I don't have a choice." She said, pulling away from the hug. She left her fingers tangled in my hair for just a moment before moving her hand to my cheek.

"Alastor, it'll be okay." She said, I got the worst déjà vu ever. It was almost the same exact thing my mother said to me. With out thinking I blurted out.

"Don't lie to me." A tear falling from my eye. She smiled and then brushed it away.

"You'll make new friends, I know you. You have this energy, you just have a way of making people like you, without effort. You'll find new friends in no time, so don't cry, okay?" She said. I still couldn't muster up a smile, let alone look her in the eye. But then she did something I didn't expect, she kissed me on the cheek. I let out a small gasp as I felt the heat rushing to my face, that's when I finally looked at her.

She had the prettiest smile on her face, her hair slightly blowing in the wind. The morning light, hitting and bouncing off of her features perfectly. Her eyes looked glossy from her tears, almost like a porcelain doll's. If there was a moment I could capture, it would be this one. I would love to stay in this moment forever if it was possible. But it wasn't.

"You know, I've always liked your smile." She said, moving back to sitting next to me instead of in front.

"I..I-um." I was still flustered from the kiss, it was hard to get words out. She took another look at me and giggled.

"Your face is still red too." She said as I looked over to her.

"W-What..what was that for?" I asked, holding my cheek.

"Hmm think of it as..a parting gift." She said as I sighed, just another reminder that I wont be seeing her for a while. Or ever again.

"I'm really..really going to miss you." I said, grabbing her hand.

"I know, I will too, Al." She said. A few moments later, without warning she got up. She let go of my hand.

"I have to go now, but i'm glad I was able to talk to you before I left." She said, as I got up as well. I scoffed.

"Wait, you're not leaving now, are you?" I asked with a confused smile, she looked away and rubbed her arm. She wasn't smiling anymore, I took this as an answer.

She was leaving me, today. No, she was leaving me now.

"I thought we were going to spend the rest of the day together or something, you can't be leaving now. No, you just can't." I said, I was starting to raise my voice. I was angry and upset. Who wouldn't be? She was just walking out of my life.

"Alastor, I know you're upset but you need to try to calm down." She said.

"How am I supposed to calm down?" I said, yelling while my voice was breaking. More tears began falling from my eyes, she took notice of that and quickly pulled me into another hug.

"I'm sorry, I know. I know this is hard. It's hard for me too." She said, rubbing the back of my neck.

"You can't just leave..isn't there some other way you could stay? Any way at all?" I asked, tugging on the back of her shirt.

"I wish there was." She said, breaking from the hug once more.

"There's nothing, huh?" I asked in a low tone, my arms falling to my sides and my eyes glued to the floor.

"Hey." She said, causing me to look up at her.

"Wheres your smile? I told you I loved it, didn't I?" She asked.

"You said 'liked' not loved, stupid." I said, a small one forming on my face.

"Did I? Well, I love it." She said.

"Y/n, do you think we'll see each other again?" I asked.

"I do." She said as I smiled a bit more.

"Then i'll wait until we do." I said.

"I'd like that." She said, beginning to walk away.

"Oh, and Alastor." She said.

"Yes?" I asked.

"When I come back, you better be that radio star that you always talk about becoming." She said.

"Okay." I said.

"Promise me." She said as I chuckled.

"Fine, I promise." I said as she nodded.

"Remember me when you're famous." She said with a small laugh, walking away. Actually this time.

I wish she would just stop again, tell me shes gonna stay or something, anything. But that didn't happen. She just kept walking, while I stood there in place. I took a few deep breaths, but when she was no longer in view, I broke down. I couldn't help it, I sat back down and held my knees to my chest. Like a child. I felt pathetic, but I didn't know what else to do. She was just, gone. After a while, I pulled myself together and went back home.

"Is Y/n with you?" She asked as I walked inside. She was putting food down and setting the table, not too sure what she made though.

"No." I said as she tilted her head.

"Hey, look at me. Is everything okay?" She asked, walking over to me.

"Nothings okay." I said, she lifted my face to look at me.

"Oh, Alastor..what happened?" She asked, giving me a hug.

"Y/n is moving away, I feel like i'll never see her again." I said.

"Well." She paused, taking a breath.

"Where is she moving to?" She asked, letting go of me.

"Trenton." I said.

"Trenton? Woo..that is..far." She said as I nodded.

"I know." I said, lifting my glasses and rubbing my eyes.

"But i'm sure you'll see her again. Tell me, did she say why she was moving?" She asked.

"Her parents want to start somewhere new and open a bakery." I said as her eyes widened.

"So, she's moving because of her parents?" She said.

"Yes." I said.

"Does she want to go?" She asked.

"She said that she wanted to stay here, but she does have a bit of a sweet tooth. I think she'll like the bakery." I said.

"Then try to be happy for her. Try and think about the better side of things." She said, but that was going to be very difficult for me to do right now. I think it'll take a little time before i'm able to do that. I mumbled "Mhm". I walked away from her, about to start walking up the stairs.

"Going back to sleep?" She asked.

"Sure." I said, I rushed up the stairs and into my room. I shut my door and changed back into my nightwear that I was wearing earlier. I grabbed the radio off of my nightstand and curled up into bed, throwing the covers onto myself and turning it on.

"Hello, New Orleans! Isn't it a beautiful day? But not as beautiful as all of you fans out there! Ahaha!"

I couldn't help but laugh with him, the host was quite charming. I wished to be like him someday.

"I hope you all are doing well, because i'm doing great! How couldn't I be?"

I was starting to feel tired from just lying down, I also figured that if I was sleeping, I couldn't think about Y/n. I switched the radio to the jazz channel and soon fell asleep.

~~~

I woke up in the afternoon but went back to sleep, I felt horrible. I kept going back to sleep until I couldn't anymore. Now i'm here, writing in this old journal. I wonder if she's really going to enjoy it there.

And how long it'll be until I see her again.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I was trying to get it out earlier but I was having trouble figuring out what to write so that set me back a little. I made a new cover picture too, its most likely only temporary until I make a new one. I just didn't like the old one very much so I wanted to change it.

Word count: 2807