Chapter 10

Something changed when Y/n left, or maybe it was after I killed mother and father. But something changed, drastically. A little after I turned 17, I began killing people. Not too many, I don't think I could get away with more than a few at the moment. I don't have my own home yet, so I don't have somewhere to bring the bodies. Recently, I've been burying them in the woods. Aunt Mary hasn't found out yet, and I don't intend on letting her. Though, one of the times I came back to the house. I didn't realized that I had blood on the collar of my shirt and she saw it. I told her that it was just a bit of something that I spilled and she bought it, I haven't made that mistake again. I wouldn't have ever thought of becoming a killer, but after I did kill someone, it almost felt like I couldn't stop. It's weirdly enjoyable. There's times that my mind bounces back to the thought of Y/n. What would she think of me now if she found out what I was doing? I wonder if she would turn me in to the police, it would be the smart thing to do. Which is why I could never let her know, not that i'm even sure if she'll ever come back. I know that she said that she would but i'm just not sure.

For all I know she might have been just saying it to make me feel better about her leaving. I do hope that shes coming back though. I miss her, dearly. Even if it's been over a little over a year, I still always think about her. How couldn't I? I still think about the little things. Like, how she would scold me when I would be late to class because I didn't want to get out of bed. Or when I would leave my bag at home so I didn't have to do certain classwork, I wish she would scold me again. Just once. However, if she knew that I've killed people, and that i'm still doing it, I would get so much more than just a lecture. But it would just feel nice to see her face again, or to hear her voice. I've been targeting not innocent people, but bad ones. The first one I killed, besides from my parents, was a man similar to my own father. He had a beautiful wife, and a young daughter. I had seen them take walks quite frequently. On one of them, it was only him and his wife. Something happened in a store they were in, he brought her outside and yelled at her. He said something about how he misplaced his wallet at home because she was distracting him. When she tried to speak up, he struck her. I had been on a walk of my own when I witnessed it. Her and him were in view everyone, people saw him do what he did. And yet no one batted an eye. It was terrible, how could people be so okay with it? I felt an urge, a murderous one.

I thought that maybe I wouldn't feel something like that again, that it was a one time thing and that it was only because he reminded me so much of father. But no, I kept feeling it. And I kept indulging in the feeling. Whenever I would tune into the radio, I would hear of the disappearances, and then when the bodies were found. Honestly, I felt prideful. One after the other I heard of my work, my victims. I do wish that they went into more detail though, i'd like to re-live the moment again.

I know I said that my victims weren't innocent, and that was true. For the most part.

There have been a few that hadn't done anything wrong, but it didn't change the way I felt. It still felt good to hear them, to see them hurt. Depending on how I feel, I try to not kill innocent people. I don't feel anything like guilt when i'm killing people, but when they're innocent, after i'm done I feel a small sting of it. Not so much to make me regret it, but a little bit of guilt hits me. I haven't killed too many people, its only been six so far.

Only two were innocent, I don't really plan on killing anymore of them. I'd rather target adverse, corrupted, putrid, people. I get a better rush when I kill them, because I know they deserve it. And I don't feel any guilt when i'm done, Its easier, more enjoyable this way. I'm a little surprised that I haven't been caught yet, not that I want to be, of course. I suppose I've been hiding my tracks quite well if i'm getting this far. I've been careful to make sure no one sees me when i'm taking them and when i'm hiding them. Its not like anyone really goes in that woods anyways. I usually go out when its late, 12-1. So I don't have to make up some sort of excuse to get out of the house.

Aunt Mary doesn't let me skip dinner either, one time I did because I thought I could be quick and hurry up with the body, but no. When I came back I got an earful from her. Its a gamble, though. She's caught me before when it was late and I was trying to sneak back into the house, its safe to say that she wasn't very pleased. I had to tell her that I couldn't sleep and that I went out for a small walk. She had been up for an hour and a half waiting for me to get home, she told me that next time I did that, to at least leave a note so that she wasn't up worrying and waiting for me to come back. I'm a little worried that if i'm out for too long, that she might realize that i'm not just on a walk. Sure, I've been safe so far. But how long can I keep it up? I'm not even an adult yet, I don't wan't the fun for me to end. I still have plans for becoming a radio host, preferably, as soon as possible. It pays quite well too, and I don't intend on ending what I've been doing anytime soon. So, once I get the job, I don't have to worry about things like sneaking out. I don't think i'll be bad at the job, quite the contrary. I just have to make sure that the listeners like me, i'm sure that won't be much of a problem either.

I've heard that within a year or two, that a new radio station would be built and opening up. When it does, i'll see if I could be one of their host's. I've been thinking about what i'll do and what i'll say, I mostly think about it when i'm in class. Daydreaming about how cool its going to be, I honestly can't wait. I don't really use that journal to write down how i'm feeling anymore, I've been using it to write down ideas. Like, jokes that I could say to the audience, the different topics I could talk about. Aunt Mary found me writing a few times and asked to read it, I caught her laughing a bit at whatever part she was reading. She's happy that I want to become a radio host, she promised to listen to me everyday when I do. It's nice to see her supportive, so was my mother. She loved the idea of me becoming one, especially since she would listen to the radio often. She told me how good of a host I would be, and it would make me so happy to hear that.

To hear her words of encouragement. I miss her. But on the bright side, her recipes that I've been making have been turning out well. I've been cooking dinner for me and Aunt Mary, it seems like she's been enjoying it as much as I have. I've followed the recipes but they're simply not as good as mother's cooking. Maybe its true what they say, the secret ingredient is love. It was like that's all she ever had, she gave so much love. When I was younger, she used to kiss me on the cheek, even when Y/n would come over. I would get so embarrassed, but I would give anything for her to give me a kiss now. I don't particularly believe in heaven and hell, but if they're real then I think-I know she's in heaven. There wasn't a time where she was rude, or unforgiving. She was nothing like father. If those are real, I don't have a doubt in my mind that he's in hell. And he deserves it, just thinking about him makes me angry. The way he treated mother was terrible, she was the definition of perfect. And he hurt her, if he was still around I would make sure he felt as much pain as he made her feel. I don't know why she stayed with him, or why she was with him in the first place. Surely she could have found someone better than him, any man would have been lucky to have her. I'm just glad that he's gone, and that he wont be coming back. In a way, with my parents deaths, and Y/n moving away, it's sort of working in my favor.

If my parents were still around, I don't know if I could hide what I was doing from both mother and father. And as much as she loved me, I don't know how mother would have reacted. I'm sure my father would turn me in to see if he could get some kind of reward. And Y/n, I think it would have been hard hiding it from her too. She can get quite nosy sometimes. If she dug around for long enough, then she would have probably found out some unsavory things about me. And I have no idea what she would do either. As much as I want to believe she wouldn't turn me in, I just don't know. I doubt that she would be okay with me being a killer. So, even though those things were bad, maybe they were necessary. So that I could be where I am now, and so that I can do what I want to in the future with my hobby. Its one thing to keep Aunt Mary off of my tail, but the police are a different story. I've been using gloves, just so I don't leave any prints, in case they find something. Its not like I leave the weapon behind or anything, but that's something too. Aunt Mary asked me once why I needed it, I had to come up with some bullshit excuse and had to hide it. I've grown to love her, but shes a liability. Just as nosy as Y/n too, which could be a problem. I might have to start hiding my tracks more, start making better excuses too. If I don't start getting better at this soon, I believe that everything that i'm working for will be lost. And that it'll fall apart if i'm not careful, I don't want to spend my time in the big house. That's no way to live, all I need to do is step up my game.

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Hello! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I was planning on cutting off the childhood part of the story off here and start the next chapter in 1923, but I want to know what you guys want before I do anything. So, should I do a few more chapters or skip to the 1923 part? If I do more chapters for the childhood part of this story, it would be from Y/n's POV. I'd love to know what you guys want so I can make this story enjoyable for you all! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

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