Nightmares and Daydreams: Chapter 20

Rhysa didn’t need me, but I couldn’t leave her, so I moved into the dark corner of the library and watched. I noticed that Kris and Atsila didn’t stray too far either, but we gave each other space to brood. We were a broody bunch of motherfuckers.

I knew she was right. I couldn’t just strangle Ender without asking questions. I shouldn’t assume the male I’d worked beside for so long had been stabbing me in the back the whole time.

And truth be told, a part of me refused to believe it. Ender was an asshole and a pain, but he was honest and trustworthy. I saw no signs to the contrary. But then again, who else could it possibly be? Ender and Ivy were the only Volci coming to the house. If it wasn’t them then it had to be someone going behind their back and working with the House without their knowledge, and that seemed a bit far-fetched.

Although it was hard to determine what was far-fetched these days. I never thought I’d see the rise of a Dreg society or banshees turned into weapons. Was it really that hard to imagine yet another deception? Especially if someone had been here for decades sowing discontent and putting together a plan to bring our Houses down before the war even started.

When I put it that way, it seemed almost logical.

“I’ll make arrangements with the Queen,” Atsila murmured as he joined me in my shadows.

“We can leave right after the stories are told.”

“I did not want to bring you this news.”

This male was now, as far as I was concerned, my brother. I respected him immensely, and as the once-and-future-king of the Heida, we would be equals. “I appreciate your candor, even if it was the last thing I wanted to hear.” Rhysa was deep into the Plane now and Rain right with her. My protective nature had a firm grip on my mind. It wanted me to stand over them, to never leave Rhysa’s side. But I forced myself to remember that Rhysa was just fine, and I didn’t need to be any closer than this. “Do you have any other information on who the traitor might be?”

Few males were bigger than me, but the bear shifters were a breed unto themselves. Every one of them was taller and wider than any other male I had encountered before. So I found it interesting to stand beside Atsila. Was this how Rhysa felt standing beside me? I should take our size difference into account more often.

Atsila leaned against the bookcase and folded his arms over his chest. “The wolves seem to know things. The places they have amassed on our border are closest to the largest rifts. And these rifts are nowhere near our House. So they aren’t marching on the Queen.”

“How do we know there isn’t a traitor amongst the Heida as well?”

He gave me a toothy grin. “Because we are just coming out of hibernation. We have not gathered yet. If the traitor were amongst us, they would be part of the royal court and I find that impossible to believe.”

Who else could be a wild card? “What about the new Doctor? Can he be trusted?” Atsila had spent more time with the newly installed Doctor than almost anyone. Perhaps I should consult Sun.

“I believe so. Even if the Doctor had a personal agenda, his oath would prevent him from doing anything about it.”

A logical point, but I would still check with Sun.

“You know I have your back, right?” Atsila asked.

“Of course.”

“I mean it.” He straightened. “This family is my family, and I will defend it with my life. I have your back and will stand at your side. Brothers in battle.”

“And life,” I teased, but the truth was that it meant a hell of a lot for him to pledge himself like this. His obligation was to his House and his Queen, not me or even Leena.

“And life,” he said quietly, his gaze drifting to where my sister now stood with her hands around Rhysa’s head. “Fuck.”

I flinched but kept myself from storming across the room. If Leena was helping, things weren’t going smoothly. But there was nothing I could do about it. Interfering would only make things worse.

But that didn’t stop me from wanting to punch a hole in the wall.

“It’s okay,” Kris said as he hurried over. “They’re coming back now.” My brother had a pretty continuous psychic link to Rain as her Shield. I was envious he got to play such a crucial role in helping his mate. “It was close, but they’re fine. Rhysa just needed a jolt, nothing more.”

I couldn’t be mad about that considering how many times she saved my ass. And yet I was mad anyway. Anger seemed to be fused with my soul these days.

Rhysa leapt out of her chair gasping for air. Now that I could finally interfere, I marched across the room and took her in my arms, trying to soothe the shivers out of her body. “I’ve got you.”

She shook her head a few times and then melted into me. I willed my strength into her. “Are you all right?”

She shivered some more, then relaxed again. “Yes. I am. I promise.”

I didn’t want to let her go, but she pulled away. “I guess we’re going north. Even Marhysa says that’s where we need to be.”

Atsila went very still and his upper lip curled. “Where?”

I noticed that Rhysa stayed close, so I put my hand on her lower back for connection.

“She didn’t say.”

“We’ll go as soon as the stories are shared.”

Rhysa squirmed. She wanted to go now. “Marhysa says it’s important. That the answers are in the North. She also said it’s time for Gigi and Ryddyck.”

My anger came back. Gasoline on an already raging fire. “After the stories are told.”

“Yes, Dray. After the stories are told.”

A little of my rage eased with the soft tone of her voice “You’re well?”

She nodded again.

I pulled her to me and rested my forehead against hers. “I have work to do. I’ll meet you at the house.” It wasn’t how I liked leaving things with Rhysa, but I didn’t have a choice. If I didn’t let some of this rage out it would consume me. And I couldn’t afford to lose control. Not now.

There wasn’t enough wood to chop. At least not enough to slow my anger. So I started chopping down trees that needed to come down.

“Ever heard of climate change?” Bo thought he was being funny.

I hopped over the log and started hacking.

“You know, because you’re clearing the forest? Trees? Nature? Carbon dioxide? Erosion?”

The ax got stuck and I put a foot on the log, using my weight to pull it free.

“Tough crowd.” He grumbled, sitting on an old stump covered in vines. “What the hell is going on? Kris is in a mood too. And I am not going anywhere near Atsila.”

“We got some bad news.” I filled him in on all the news from the North and that Gigi had a new mission in life.

He rubbed a hand over his face. “This makes parking tickets seem stupid.”

My back and arms burned—finally—so I buried the ax in the wood and sat across from my brother. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Don’t worry about it. You think Gigi’s right?”

Of course she was right. Everything was out of our hands. Sometimes it felt like we were just puppets playing out some fantasy made up by a being more powerful than us. “She’s right.”

Bo and I were only a little over a year apart in age. We grew up together. As different as we were, we had been good friends our whole lives, through thick and thin. So when he spoke I knew whether he was being serious or an asshole, or playing with me or trying to start a fight. Bo was being very serious right now.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m a shit brother because I’m glad it’s you and not me. But most of the time?” He shook his head and looked me right in the eye. “Most of the time I hate that there’s nothing I can do to help you two. I feel so useless.”

“Well, you’re not useless anymore. Shit’s about to go sideways and I have a part to play in all of it. If Gigi’s right, her transformation is what will allow her to exist in Ryddyck’s reality.”

“Fuck. And we already know they have dragons.”

“Exactly. Which means you need to be in charge. You’ve already headed up training, so everyone is used to following your orders.”

He shot to his feet just like I expected. “No Dray. You’re Head of House. Not me.”

“And you’ve walked beside me every step of the way. You know how the House operates. You work with the other Houses. You’ve trained your whole life to take my place if need be. Well, it need be.”

“How will that even work with your bond to Rhysa? She wields Dreadnought.”

I didn’t have all the fucking answers. I wish I did. “I don’t know. Maybe if you’re not officially Head of House it won’t matter. I’m hoping it doesn’t. If you’re in charge and I’m technically Head of House, then Dreadnought remains with us. While I’m in my dragon form Rhysa will wield it still.”

“I hate this.”

“I’m not a fan.”

He paced into the trees, disappearing. I gave him space to accept what needed to be done. It wasn’t like I could change Destiny. But I also knew it took a minute to let it all set in. My own simmering rage boiled up higher again and I resumed working the log. If I were doing this properly I would have brought more than the ax. But then again, I didn’t really come out here to make high quality firewood or planks for building. I came out here to destroy something since I couldn’t destroy the things I really wanted to. It wasn’t efficient, but if all I did was turn these logs into pulp then it would be worthwhile.

“Can I have a go?” Bo already stripped out of his shirt that was now hung from a nearby tree.

I reluctantly handed over the ax. “I think we should name it Rage.”

Bo held the ax in front of his face. “This?”

“Yep.”

“I’m a fan.” Then he took over destroying the log. “Do you think she’s up to it?”

The big, overprotective brother inside me wanted to say no because that’s what I wanted to be true. Gigi wasn’t ready because she would never have to face anything like this. She would stay home or in her lab, happily pursuing all her many interests and live in a world that would never hurt her or anyone else.

But the reality was very different and Gigi, like me, had been waiting her whole life to know why we were made to be so different. “She’s ready. You should see the look in her eyes. There’s relief in knowing.”

“Knowing and being ready aren’t the same.”

“Well then you tell me. Can she fight as well as anyone?”

His shoulders sagged. “Yes. I wouldn’t recommend going anywhere near her when she has a dagger in her hands.”

“She’s smarter than any of us. She’ll absorb information from the other reality like a sponge. She’ll see details no one else would have. And if she gets into trouble, she’s more than capable of fighting her way out.”

“And Ryddyck?”

“I don’t know why, but I trust him. And I have a feeling when he’s in his reality, he’s different. Being able to be here, to exist here, must take quite a toll on him.” It was as if he were always just a little out of phase. It’s why he blinked so much and drifted off mid-thought all the time.

At least that was my theory.

“It’s Ender, isn’t it?”

I shook out of my thoughts. “I hope not.”

Sweaty and breathless, Bo gave the ax a rest and returned to his stump. “I consider him a friend. I can’t imagine it’s him, but who else could it be?”

“Ivy.” That sat so wrong with me I knew it couldn’t be true. But it was the other best logical explanation.

“No, there has to be someone else. Someone we’re not even paying attention to. Maybe someone we don’t realize is connected to the Volci. I’ll go over the master list of everyone who’s come and gone since we started the archival research.”

“That’s a good idea. I want to lock Ender up and pull the answers from him cut by cut, but Rhysa suggests caution instead. If we go after him and we’re wrong it will just alert the real traitor. Get your list together tonight. I want possibilities in the morning.”

“Done. I like having something to focus on.”

The forest in front of me blinked in and out, then turned gray and black. A vision or dream, I couldn’t be sure. It was night and cold. Damp. The crickets loud. Somewhere in the distance I heard laughter and some music. A cloud moved over the moon casting everything into more darkness. Then a shadow moved closer. I felt dread but didn’t know why.

Then the shadow moved even closer, like a ship coming into port with its holds full of goods. Only the shadow wasn’t just darkness. It also sparkled and slithered.

Like the Grista.

I snapped back to the forest. I had to blink against the bright sunlight. Bo stood in front of me waving a hand in my face. “Hello? Where did you just go?”

“I don’t know.” Bo was still sweaty and shirtless. The log was just as we left it. Nothing was different. Only I was. “Rhysa and I share dreams and thoughts sometimes now, but this was more like a nightmare.”

“Maybe she’s taking a nap,” Bo said slowly.

Maybe. “I think I’ll go check on her. You’ve got Rage?”

He chuckled. “Rage and I are going to do some more work.”

“I’ll see you later.” I shifted back to the treehouse hoping to find Rhysa in bed just like Bo suggested, but instead all I found was an empty house and a feeling of dread.