Secrets We Keep: Chapter Eleven

"You told him I led you to the vault," John said.

Credence barely heard him, her attention turned to the ghastly bruises around his neck and clavicle, and the red line that extended from his forehead to the edge of his chin. The line was open, but the blood had long dried between the split skin. It joined the old scar on his lips, the one that added allure to John's appearance.

Credence did not believe this new wound would heal as handsomely.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

John gave her a cold stare, and his prolonged silence told Credence he was unsure what answer to give her.

"Unrest in the kingdom," he said. He winced as he spoke, keeping his mouth as still as possible to avoid angering the wound.

"Why haven't you tended to your injury?"

"There were more important matters—" He hissed as pain rang through his face and had to settle himself before continuing. "I had to fetch you for dinner."

"We should go to the lake," Credence answered without thinking. "You should wash it and—"

"No," John interrupted angrily. He released a ragged breath. "No, Credence. It's more important that you arrive promptly."

"Surely the Collector will heal you once we're there."

"He owes me nothing."

Credence scoffed. "How can you serve someone who would let you suffer?"

John didn't answer, only moved upon her with a threatening air and grabbed her arm.

"I don't know any healing spells," Credence blurted, more worried about his face than his menace. "I would cast one if I did."

John immediately released her and his expression grew confused.

"Why would you do that?"

"I...don't know."

"You don't care for me."

"I...No, I don't."

They stared at each other, equally concerned.

"I will see to my healing after I've delivered you to dinner," John said. "Please, don't delay it."

***

The Queen's story continued to echo in Credence's mind. She would have preferred to eat this meal alone, if only to give herself time to comprehend everything.

But the bells rang and the Collector took his seat—

No. Not the Collector, not anymore.

"I hope the hour finds you in good spirits."

His friendly greeting stunned her.

"It may have," she answered, "but the sight of John disturbed me."

"The wolf? What of him?"

"His face was torn."

"He will live through it."

"You should grant favor to your subjects, most of all the loyal ones. A king should not let his people suffer."

"You wish for me to heal him? Done."

He waved his hand, and although nothing happened that she could see, Credence wondered if John, wherever he was, had been suddenly seized by a rush of magic.

"Thank you," Credence said out of habit, then bit the inside of her cheek. "I'm sure John will be grateful."

Her host nodded. Credence watched him as he began to eat, noting the elegance of his movements. His childhood had been spent in the pursuit of ruling, she reminded herself, and was likely filled with lessons on grace.

It was possible she had been wrong in her initial judgment of him. The man before her was not a costume. This was his true face. The face of a king. Ajo.

This was the face that once loved Galeia.

It seemed unlikely that he was ever a romantic match for her, and stranger still to imagine he had known her as a child, for the man at the end of the table looked several years younger than Ma. He did not possess the faint wrinkles and lines on his face that were present in both her parents, though Credence suspected this was due to his magical lineage.

"Did you speak with my mother again," he interrupted her silent appraisal.

"I did. She told me a rather sad tale about you...Ajo."

He tensed at the sound of his name, but the slightest smirk played at the corners of his mouth.

"What did you think of her story?"

"Well...I think I understand why you are...what you are."

"What am I?"

"Angry. Sad. Betrayed."

"You should feel the same way, if she told the truth."

"I do," Credence answered and was not lying.

Ajo turned back to his plate. Credence poured herself a drink.

Dinner carried on in silence.

"I have...that is, I would like...to show you something," he said with a hint of urgency. "If you would permit me."

"What is it?"

He hadn't expected such quick compliance. His words came out stilted and careful.

"A book. I think—you will enjoy it. But it would require us to move to another room."

Credence poked at her food with her fork. A part of her fought against obliging him, but after hearing the Queen's tale, the hate within her, and the fury she felt upon seeing him, had shifted.

She was curious. There was a small urge to learn more about him.

That, of course, meant spending time with him.

"Will John be joining us?" She wasn't sure why she'd asked it.

"Do you want him to?" Ajo's voice carried a bite of scorn.

"No. I don't think so."

A full smile bloomed on his lips, and for the briefest instant Credence found it attractive. The way his eyes turned from dangerous to almost gentle. The feeling that he might be jealous of John—

It was almost endearing.

A tingle of strength shuddered through her. Credence decided to chase it.

"Your smile makes you handsome," she said boldly.

Ajo's gaze turned away from her.

"And you are beautiful," he muttered. "Not only when you smile, but always."

Her courage grew, and she set her fork down and rose from her seat.

"I would like to see that book," she said.

Ajo rose and moved towards her, closing the distance between them until he stood at arm's length. His tension matched hers, a shared the excitement for the unknown.

It was unnerving how her emotions turned under his gaze.

He held his hand out.

"I will take you to it."

Credence didn't trust her voice, so she placed her hand in his, and a warmth raced through her when he squeezed his fingers around hers. He walked up the staircase, gently pulling her behind him. When they reached the balcony he placed his free hand on her back to move her in front of him.

His touch made her shiver, but not from hate or disgust.

Hidden behind the columns was a door, a beautifully carved piece of wood with gold inlays, depicting angels and demons in a dance.

Credence felt a prick of doubt. She turned to Ajo, searching his face for deceit.

"It's in there," Ajo said gently.

He pushed the door open and revealed a lavish sitting room lit by dozens of candles and furnished with a plush chaise. Ajo sat her there, then moved to a shelf filled from floor to ceiling with books. As if he knew its place by heart, he plucked a volume from the shelf, a green cover with a silver horned dragon painted on it. He took his place beside her, closer than he'd ever dared before, but upon noticing Credence's discomfort he pulled away.

"I would like to read to you," he explained. "There are pictures—I thought you would want to see them."

Credence nodded and he drew close once more. She watched his fingers glide over the book to open its pages.

"There's a poem. It reminds me of you."

His eyes dropped to the book and he began to read.

"A wild thing lives here, in my heart.

Its temper is fierce and untamed, and that is why I adore it.

I chase it, I feel it slip between my fingers.

What is it, if not my desire, my own heart?

Who am I if I choose not to follow it, even unto my death?

When my blood has dried to dirt

And grass grows between my bones,

When all that I am is lost to time—

Will the stars remember my name?

It matters not, for I am bound to the chase.

One day, perhaps, my hunt will be over.

Only then will my eternity begin.

I must cling to its image, and will never lose that face, that light,

Of the wild thing that lives here, in my heart."

His voice died with the final line of the poem and his eyes remained on the words. He turned the page and Credence saw a gorgeous picture of a man and woman embracing, their lips connected in a passionate kiss.

Entwined, without any clothing.

Her thoughts grew cloudy. Her lips felt numb. Slowly, she reached out to trace her finger over the bodies in the picture. She thought nothing of it when Ajo's finger joined hers, tracing the same path over the curves of the drawing.

Over the mouths that were joined.

They looked at each other simultaneously. Ajo's eyes flickered back and forth between hers, and there was a question begging to be asked in them.

"Credence," he whispered and she closed her eyes.

She leaned towards him.

"Marry me. Please."

Her eyes fluttered open.

It was a destiny they were well acquainted with, but it was the first time he had ever asked her.

"No," she answered and felt a sharp twinge of regret and confusion.

Ajo pulled away and Credence expected his face to be a mask of rage.

But it wasn't anger she found in his eyes. It was loss.

He didn't argue. He didn't slam his fist or demand to know why. His hand slipped into a pocket on his clothing and from it he withdrew a delicate golden thread. He closed the book and placed it to the side, then bent on one knee before her, staring with that same mournful longing. He wrapped the golden chain around her ankle and shut its clasp. His fingers lingered on her skin for a second too long, and Credence thought he meant to kiss her there.

"A gift," he said, "to wear for as long as it pleases you." He stood and offered his hand to her. "The hour is late. You probably wish to sleep now."

They were silent as he led her back into the dining hall. The table was still covered with food, and the fire was still burning hot and bright.

How odd, Credence thought when they entered the hall, that the room should feel like a familiar, comfortable place. A safe place.

At the top of the stairs, Ajo paused.

"I will ask again," he said. "I will hope but never assume. It's a question, not an expectation. When—if—you accept it, it will be because you want to."

He placed a chaste kiss on her knuckle and the touch of his lips burned like a brand.

"Goodnight."

He released her and the door to the hall opened.

John's eyes found the pair on the balcony immediately. The line on his face had knit back together, and there wasn't a trace of the recent wound on his skin. He smiled and his voice carried across the hall.

"Have a nice evening?"

Credence looked at him like he was a ghost.

"Yes, I—" Credence stopped herself. "Just a moment."

She turned back to address Ajo, but he was already gone.

***

It took a poem to shatter her world.

Not a fight, not angry words. Not a monster.

A poem.

Credence didn't return to the Queen right away.

She went to the lake and plunged into the water, not bothering to remove her clothes first. The cold helped calm the heat in her skin, and swimming helped to expend the energy within her.

Ajo's voice echoed in her mind. There must have been some enchantment over the room, something to beguile her. In her heart, Credence knew that wasn't the truth. What she felt in that room, what she felt for Ajo, had been honest.

She knew he felt it, too.

It was different from the thrilling power that made her feel wild and important. She felt like a fire sitting undisturbed inside a raging thunderstorm.

She wanted to chase that feeling.

She was looking forward to the next dinner.

Would he read to her again?

She kicked up her legs to float on her back and caught a flash of gold. The chain he placed around her ankle.

Credence grinned at the gift.

Does this mean he loves me?

She couldn't remember the last time, if ever, she had been so happy.

I don't want it to end, she thought. I don't ever want to feel any other way.

She returned to her room in the tavern, now thinking it very plain compared to Ajo's castle. Here she had a bed and little else. What luxury would she have as a queen?

She realized she was smiling, and could not guess how long her mouth had been set that way.

She laid her wet clothes aside to dry and pulled the blanket from her bed around her shoulders. Ma's book was on the pillow, and Credence felt a mixture of anger and loss when her eyes found it. Ma had always been so kind to her family. So full of tenderness and devotion.

But there was another side to her that was flawed. It was unsettling to think that such opposites could exist in Ma, that one half could be the most caring and protective parent, while the other harbored deep hate for those she once loved.

Credence picked up the book and flipped through the pages, turning to a particular section she'd read before.

'Today is a good day, for I learned the name of the one I am going to marry. He is too tall and his nose is funny, but he makes me laugh. He's a human. His name is Oliver.'

Warmth spread through Credence at the thought of her parents as lovestruck youths.

Without thinking, her eyes scanned the page for Ajo's name.

'I am alone. Again. I spend so much time by myself now, so when he called to me I almost jumped out of my skin! Sometimes Oliver is so serious that he reminds me of Ajo. But he's also brave and funny and so very...different.

I loved him the very moment I saw him. But I won't tell anyone that.

I felt my soul singing his name before I knew it. And the feeling he leaves behind...this tingling?...this shiver...I feel strong but afraid.

I'm not a fool, even if everyone thinks it. They think I don't know what's expected of me, even when they parade it right in front of my face. Mother will be furious. Ajo will...never forgive me.

I'm scared that if I follow my heart it will cost me everything.

But I'm scared that if I don't it will cost me more.'

Beneath that entry, Ma wrote Pa's name over and over, practicing it to perfection.

'Oliver...Oliver...Oliver...'

Credence closed the book. What an awful thing it must have been for Ma, to fall in love knowing it would only lead to disaster.

She did it anyway, because she had no choice.

Oliver called to her, and she was his forevermore.

Her soul sang his name.

But...was it not the same for herself and Ajo?

Credence didn't want to admit it, that she had opened Ma's book to compare their feelings. Ma wrote about a shiver that made her feel strong and afraid—

Credence was well acquainted with that rush of power.

It had been Credence's long-held belief that Ma's promise was the only thing that bound her to Ajo, but perhaps there was something more. Could it not be the same power that gripped Galeia and Oliver so many years ago—the fated meeting of souls? Not tied by a vow, but something bigger than words.

What if the promise Ma made was not the only reason Credence had always been pulled towards her supposed enemy? What if the real reason was written somewhere in the heavens, foretold before there ever was a forest or a Queen to rule it?

Credence settled into bed and closed her eyes, with a single dreamy notion tickling her thoughts.

Destined true love, how wonderfully romantic.

***

"Something's happened between you and Ajo."

The Queen sensed it immediately.

Credence glanced at the base of the tree, where a crowd of creatures were huddled together. She had no words to explain herself. How could she possibly describe to the Queen the shift that had happened in the sitting room, and how her feelings had turned?

How she almost wanted to say 'yes' to Ajo's question, and was still confused about why she denied him.

"He asked me to marry him," Credence admitted.

"Did you accept his proposal?"

"I didn't."

"Not yet. Has he kissed you?"

Credence blushed. "Yes." The Queen's eyes grew wide and Credence added quickly, "My hand."

The Queen smiled. "As careful and inexperienced as you are." The admission perplexed Credence, but the Queen continued, "You're two innocents trying to map the course of love."

"I don't know if it's love—"

"You may not have accepted his proposal, but you, Credence, have the very look of it about you. The faint beginnings of a woman lost."

"That's not true." Credence didn't sound convincing, even to herself.

"Take your time," the Queen said. "Learn the truth of him, behind the manners and courtship. Because the truth is what you will marry in the end. The truth will be the only thing that remains after time has eaten away the magic of new love."

"How can I do that?"

"Love requires sacrifice. Think hard about what that means for both of you. What are you willing to give to prove your love for him? And what should he give in return?"

Credence's heart fluttered, but melancholy settled into her spirit.

"Your wisdom is a comfort to me," she said. "For so long I've felt like there was no one I could trust. Except my brother. When he—when I lost him, I thought I'd lost the only friend left in the world."

"You've more friends than you think, Credence."

"Ajo told me I would not remember the first time I met him. Do you know what he meant?"

"The night you were born."

"He...was there?"

"He came to meet his intended."

"He told you that?"

"I was there, too."

"Tell me about it, please."

"Galeia had drunk her fill of the moon to give her strength. I was by her side, and it was I who cleaned you and looked at your face first. Birth is a woman's task, so your father remained outside while it happened. Oh, how Galeia changed when you opened your eyes to look at her! That was the last moment she was the child I remembered. She had become something full of strength and courage. A mother.

But her grip tightened when I drew near to kiss your face. The resolve that had given you away melted when she looked at you. I knew then that Galeia was prepared to break her vow. That the promise she made would become the only regret she carried in this life.

'How could I damn this innocent child?' she asked. 'I cannot do it, mother.'

I tried to console her.

'Have you forgotten the boy you once loved? He was innocent, too.'

'It would be best to imprison him. We could do it together.'

'Your heart is so full of hate, but why? You were not the one betrayed.'

'What if she doesn't want him? Does it mean an eternity trapped in my place, miserable and hating the mother who gave her up? I will not have that for her.' A haunting grin cut across Galeia's face. 'There could be another way. She could destroy him.'

I was horrified to hear it.

'You do not mean that.'

'She will be strong. I can teach her. I can make her deadly.'

From outside came the approach of boots. When Ajo moved to hold you, Galeia clutched you tightly.

'You promised not to take her until she called you,' Galeia snapped at him. 'If she calls you at all.'

Ajo's voice was soft, I remember. Soft, and sad.

'She will call.'

'The child cannot help it,' I warned.

'And you will not stop her,' Ajo added.

'She cannot call you now,' Galeia hissed, 'so you must leave.'

'I've only come to look upon her.'

'She's not yours,' Galeia snapped. 'She's an innocent babe who needs protection from monsters like you!'

'I'm the only one who can protect her. I'm the only one who can love her.'

Galeia spat on the floor near his feet. Ajo remained unfazed and moved to take you.

Unable to stop him, Galeia gave you up. Ajo stared at you, his expression telling nothing. You didn't make a sound, but stared right back, unafraid of the power that held you. And then...Ajo smiled. A flicker of my wonderful boy showed on his face—but it left quickly and he handed you back to your mother.

When he turned to leave, Galeia offered a parting threat.

'I will teach her to fear you. She will know you are a monster. When you come for her, she will have nothing but scorn and hate. I swear this, Ajo: She will never love you.'

Ajo's stoicism shattered into sorrow. He took one last glance at you and left the house.

'Why would you say such words?' I asked her.

'Because he deserves no pity. That thing does not deserve love.'

She looked down at you, and you were smiling at the space where Ajo had been.

'If he dares to uphold this vow, I will make sure that she intends to kill him.'"

"That's not true," Credence interjected. "She never taught me to hate him—or how to hurt him. Ma never told me anything."

"It's possible she convinced herself that Ajo would forget or give up. That his love would not prove real. She was wrong, of course."

Guilt settled over the Queen, making her look very old and tired.

"I suppose we should be grateful Galeia never fulfilled her threat." She sighed. "I wish I could embrace you now."

Credence pressed her hand against the trunk.

"One day, your majesty, I'll hold you to that wish."