The Reluctant Wife: Chapter 38

‘I am so not ready for this,’ I groan into the phone.

I’m perched on the counter of the bathroom adjoining the guest bedroom at Arthur’s place, which I’m using to tidy my appearance.

I’m delaying leaving by calling Zoey and updating her on the latest developments.

She was, naturally, taken aback by my proposed marriage to Ryot.

‘I know better than to talk you out of this, since you’re doing it for your country.” She looks into my features. “It’s not going to stop me from worrying about you.’

I look at her gratefully. ‘You’re an awesome friend, Zoey.’

I slide off the counter and walk out of the bathroom. Then, because I’m not ready to head down, I begin to pace. ‘At least, it’s not Gavin I’m marrying.’

If I repeat it enough, I’ll convince myself that it’s the only reason the thought of being married to Ryot fills my heart with excitement.

‘Hmm’—she looks at me with a speculative expression—’did something happen between you and Ryot?’

I flush and must look guilty, for her eyes round. ‘Oh, my god, you slept with him, didn’t you?’

‘It’s more accurate to say we slept with each other,’ I say primly.

‘And you enjoyed it, so that’s why the thought of marrying him is appealing to you?’

‘You sure you don’t want a second career as a shrink.’ I laugh.

‘I’m an editor; that makes me part psychologist. The number of times I have to calm down authors and help them figure out the reasons for their writer’s block alone qualifies me for that particular role.’ She chuckles. ‘But… I have to ask you again, are you sure you want to do this?”

‘You mean do I want to let Ryot use the Davenport fortune to rescue Verenza?” I ask only half-sarcastically.

A line appears between her eyebrows. “I mean, do you want to marry Ryot?”

I think about it, then nod. ‘If I’m being honest, the idea is far from repugnant. Would I prefer that he’s marrying me because he loves me? Yes. But given he’s going to help afford an entire generation of Verenza a future where they don’t have to ration food and are able to access healthcare provided by the state, not to mention the chance to study in state-run schools and take their place on the world stage…” I tilt my head. “It wasn’t a difficult decision, at all.”

She sighs. ‘I worry that you’re, once again, sacrificing your happiness for the sake of your country.’

‘That is the meaning of being a princess. It was drilled into us that we need to put our country before our personal happiness, every single time. It is the only way to ensure the continued survival of my family.’ My voice rises as I warm to my topic. And yes, being married to Ryot is going to be totally awesome, but I’m playing it cool. I don’t want Zoey to guess just how much I’m looking forward to it. I’m not sure why.

Her gaze grows fond. ‘I admire you.’

I scoff, ‘Now, you sound like Ryot.’

Her gaze widens. ‘He said he admires you?’

‘More precisely, my sense of responsibility.’

She seems nonplussed. ‘That’s…unexpected.’

I nod. ‘Right? It takes a secure man to say that. Given his macho persona, I didn’t expect him to have the maturity to recognize the softer emotions men often seem to run from, let alone say them aloud. It’s because I compared it to his duty while in the Marines.’ But then, Ryot has surprised me every step of the way.

‘True masculinity is being able to call out your feelings, something most men forget,’ she agrees.

‘For all his strong, silent, almost forbidding exterior, Ryot can be gentle and intuitive in a way that blows my mind.’ I confess. And other parts of me too.

The man is an annoyingly enticing mix of alpha-maleness and tenderness. He’s grumpy and growly to the world, but when it comes to me, there’s a softer side to him that takes me by surprise every time. I smooth down the fabric of my dress, trying to order my thoughts.

‘Anyway, it is what it is.’ I shrug. ‘I didn’t ask to be born into this family, but since I was, I have a responsibility.’ And so does he.

He promised to look out for me, and if marrying me is what it takes to keep his word, then he’s going to do it. As long as the people after me are out there, he’ll stay with me. And after that—? I’ll have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Meanwhile, there’s a tiny part of me hoping he doesn’t track down whoever it is; that they just disappear, and he sticks around because he hasn’t found them yet.

There’s another knock on the door. Shoot, I lost track of time talking to Zoey. ‘I have to⁠—’

‘—go.’ She nods.

‘I’ll be in touch.’ I blow her a kiss, then disconnect the call. Walking to the settee, I slide my phone into my handbag, then take it in hand, walk to the door and open it.

‘Your Royal Highness.’ Veronica curtsies.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “I’ve told you many times, you don’t need to call me by that title. You also don’t need to curtsy.”

Her expression turns crestfallen. “B-but, Ma’am, protocol and the dignity of your office require that I do.”

Sometimes, I forget that Veronica is from Verenza. She’s used to having royalty in her life. I’ll bet, like many of the citizens of my country, she looks upon the Royal Family as having almost mythical proportions. The media makes sure of that.

Little does she know the sacrifices it takes. Little does she know how unnatural it is to be born into this family and have everyone bow and scrape around you or treat you like you’ve achieved something extraordinary by being born into this life. A life that’s mine purely by accident of birth.

“Besides, you’re a real-life princess,” she bursts out.

Yep. She’s totally brainwashed by the hype surrounding the Royal Family. “Being a princess is not all it’s cut out to be.” I sigh. “While it might seem dazzling and very Disney-like, the reality is, I’m hemmed in by restrictions and feel like I’m living in a gilded cage.”

She pinches her lips together. “I’d give anything to live a single day in your shoes,” she huffs. Then her cheeks redden when she realizes she spoke out loud.

“Would you?” I ask, more curious than upset with her words. Perhaps, a little creeped out at the fervent look in her eyes. She’s always been over-committed to her role. But I don’t recall her being this fascinated by the royalty aspect of my life before.

Her gaze lights up. “It’s the only thing I’ve wanted to be since I was five.” She nods vigorously.

Something in her tone sends a prickle of unease down my back. “You want to be a princess?

“Only in my dreams. I know, it’s not possible in real life.” She flashes me a smile that’s so over-eager, it makes me take a step back. Then, she laughs and adds, ‘Unless you know of a prince looking to marry…’

What?! Did she sabotage things because she wants to be with Gavin? Was it her idea to send him to the safe house? Maybe she was hoping he’d catch me doing something with Ryot, call off the wedding, and then, she could swoop in? My thoughts whirl about in my head.

When I don’t respond, she continues.

“It’s why, when I saw the job advertised on the Royal Family website, I applied right away. And I’m so glad I did.” She locks her fingers together, adulation evident on her features. “I didn’t think someone as ordinary as me would ever be able to work in proximity to such beauty and status, but here I am. Too bad about Gavin, of course.”

Something in her tone pings another flurry of disquiet across my nerve-endings. Why does she care about Gavin? For that matter, why would he call her to get to me? Surely, he knew how to contact Fred directly. I mentally shake my head.

This is ridiculous. I’ve already been through this. He probably couldn’t reach Fred and was anxious to locate me. I’m letting my fears cloud my thinking.

Veronica has been nothing but helpful since she joined my team. So what, if she’s overzealous at times. She’s my assistant; she’s supposed to go the extra mile to ensure I don’t mess up my schedule, right?

“Not that you could have married him; not after what he did to you. And this, on top of the threat and the assassination attempt?” She shakes her head. Her features take on a look of concern, and she bites her lip.

Her running through the list of events that have shaken me in the last few weeks pumps up my blood pressure. My stomach churns. My fingers tremble, and I have to lock them together. She’s right. It is a lot. To be threatened, shot at, and then to have your hitherto harmless fiancé turn on you, while having to maintain the princess façade with the media, is enough to cause anyone a nervous breakdown. No wonder, I’m getting suspicious of her.

“You poor thing. You must be so shaken.” Her gaze is earnest. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

She seems really concerned about me. The expression on her features feels genuine. Enough for me to push aside my unease. While we have a strictly professional relationship, it stands to reason that something as big as Gavin no longer being in the picture would warrant, at least, a comment from her, right? I push aside the concern—what’s done is done—and hold my bag out to her.

She accepts it. ‘They’re waiting for you, Your Royal Highness.” She bobs her head again. On the other hand, her bowing and scraping sets my teeth on edge. It feels so… Insincere.

‘I am the princess. I’m allowed to be late, aren’t I?’ I say in a haughty tone to mask the annoyance I feel.

Once I go down there, and we announce to the world that I’m marrying Ryot, the word will be out, and there’ll be no turning back. Remember Verenza and how it’s citizens are going to benefit. It’s all going to be worth it. And meanwhile, I get to be with Ryot. I get to benefit from the orgasms, when he decides to bestow them on me, that is. And if I’m lucky—and persistent—I’ll be able to convince him this is not just a marriage of convenience but a forever relationship. A shiver of anticipation pinches my nerve-endings, but I don’t dwell on it.

I need to focus, not on the sexy things Ryot has promised to do to me, but on my upcoming nuptials.

Meanwhile, Veronica looks at me with that strange light in her eyes. It’s fangirling; I need to let it go. She’s so taken in by the ‘Royal Princess’ image I try to portray, she can’t see behind the façade I present to the world. Unlike Ryot, who figured me out right away.

He understands my insecurities and what it takes to live this role I’ve been born into. Too bad, he has his own ghosts preventing him from embracing this connection between us. Ghosts which, by the way, I intend to banish. Meanwhile, I’ll take what I get, and as long as it benefits Verenza, it’ll all be worth it.

‘Come on.’ I walk past her. ‘It’s time to face the music.’