Part 1: What the-?

There was a goblin in front of me.

A vicious, stinky goblin in a pink dress was staring up at me with a wide grin showing a plethora of rotting teeth.

The goblin didn’t move or make a sound as he stared at me, as if he was just as surprised to see me on the other side of the door.

“Rowan!” Granny Liadan cried, as she shoved the goblin out of the way. He gave a loud snarl to show his displeasure. “It’s so good to see youuuu-“

I pulled Granny Liadan through the door and behind me. Luckily, she was frail enough that her body had no choice but to comply. Approaching 80, Granny Liadan looked good for her age. A slight slouch in her posture, skinny as a twig, and hair fried by night curlers, so it looked like a little sheep was sleeping on her head. She was doing well for someone living isolated in the woods. The family had tried several times to convince her to move since her glasses seemed to be getting thicker with every year, her hearing aids needed to be constantly charged with the unreliable power, and her dentures would occasionally get nicked by the various spirits living in the woods. But she was born in this cabin, and she was determined to die in this cabin. “WHY IS THERE A GOBLIN IN YOUR HOUSE, GRANNY!?!”

“Goblin?” The old woman calmly murmured as she adjusted her specs and hair that had come loose from the sudden yank. She stared at me and then at the creature before erupting into laughter. “I think he’s talking about you, Cormac.”

The goblin gave a snort before turning around and venturing deeper into the house. His stubby legs gave him a captivating strut. “We need to go while he’s not thinking about eating us,” I pleaded to Granny Liadan.

“Don’t be silly.” She flicked my forehead with more force than an old lady was entitled to have. “Cormac may be a… special kid, but he’s not a goblin. Right, dearie?” The goblin gave a snort as he plopped directly in front of the ancient tv and turned it on. There was only static, but the goblin didn’t seem to mind.

“No… no, that’s a fully grown goblin!”

“Cormac is shorter than you by over twenty centimetres, Rowan.”

“Goblins are known to be short, Granny! Just look at him! He’s got a moustache.” I watched Granny Liadan try to peer through her thick glasses, it was hopeless. There was no way she could see anything far with those. “Trust me, Granny. He’s a fully grown goblin.”

Granny Liadan patted my head. “Some children have hormonal problems or other medical issues going on. We shouldn’t judge.”

“He’s green for god's sake!”

“Rowan! Don’t you dare take the lord’s name in vain.” Granny Liadan said a quick prayer apologising for my slip of a tongue. “I can see why your father has sent you. I thought it was strange to send a 13-year-old boy to the middle of the woods when he should be playing with his friends. I had no idea you were becoming a racist.”

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… “But his skin is literally green?”

“And you’re as pale as milk.” Granny Liadan huffed past me and towards the goblin.

“No, wait-”

“You can come inside once you’ve learnt to be a little more tolerant of others and apologise for hurting Cormac’s feelings.” The goblin didn’t bother acknowledging us anymore as his eyes were glued to the static.

“But he doesn’t seem hurt-” Granny Liadan slammed the door in my face, leaving the frail lady alone in a house with a fully grown goblin.

“I’m sorry!” I shouted through the kitchen window. A glance at my out-of-service phone showed that dinner time was approaching. Three hours since Dad left me at the bottom of the mountain. Two hours of static playing nonstop. One hour of contemplating abandoning Granny Liadan in order to get some help. It would be safer for her if we left together. She was probably too frail to reach the bottom of the mountain alone if the goblin were to get vicious.

Looking in, I could see the familiar and quaint, little kitchen that was 80% supported by canned food and 20% fuelled by the general deliveries by Euan, Granny Liadan’s closest neighbour. But neither granny nor goblin were in the kitchen. From the archway showing an old-fashioned living room, I could see Granny Liadan knitting away while gently rocking on her favourite chair. She seemed just as focused on the static as the goblin. “I said I’m sorry!” I shouted again, hoping to get her attention and lead her away from the goblin and into the kitchen.

This time Granny Liadan seemed to have heard me. I was starting to get my hopes up when I saw her reach for the remote, but they were shattered as I heard the static from the tv grow louder. Was she trying to drown me out? “Cormac’s favourite show is playing right now. You two can talk once it’s finished.”

“But it’s static! It’s never going to end,” I tried to reason with her. Instead of a logical reply or acknowledgment, she increased the volume even more. In desperation, I began searching around the house. Dad would occasionally cause a power cut whenever my little sister, Cara, and I got too absorbed into whatever was on the tv when we were little. Back then, the antenna on the roof still worked.

It didn’t take long to find the cable and give it a quick tug to cause a blackout. I was beginning to feel pleased with myself when I heard the roar of an enraged goblin. “Granny!” I called out as I rushed back to the kitchen window.

“There, there, now. The show is over, so why don’t you pick out a game for us to play?” Granny Liadan comforted the goblin, whose roars had turned into wails.

“Can I come in to apologise now?” I asked through the window as jealousy began to bite away at me. Through clenched teeth, I continued my plea. “I want to apologise to Cormac.”

“What do you say, Cormac, should we let him in?” Granny Liadan asked the goblin, who was pulling apart the cupboard with all of the family board games. I held my tongue as I watched the Monopoly board that my sister made for the family be torn in half. “Should we give him a second chance?” The goblin responded with some gibberish, but Granny Liadan seemed to understand. “You’re forgiven! Come on in.”

The goblin lowered the pieces of paper and cardboard, turned around and stared at me through the window. His toothy grin filled with rotten teeth was terrifying. I’ve got to save Granny Liadan from him.