18 | why can't this boy just go out and do something instead of listening to...

A/n: wanted to make the title longer but wattpad said max 80 characters😭

Here's the full one:

why can't this boy just go out and do something instead of listening to his horrible sad spotify playlist all day💀

__________

I didn't go to Holly's counseling session the next week, or the week after. I sent Everett a text that I wouldn't be coming and he replied just saying 'okay.'

We hadn't spoken aside from that.

My heart leaped to my throat every time my phone pinged. But it was always just Jenna bothering me about my non-existent love life.

Beep.

My heart stopped. I checked it.

Just another text from Jenna.

-J

Ugh fine, forget the guy then if you're going to be so chicken about it >_<

Come out with us!

Alex wants to see you too.

I don't know, Jenna.

I don't really feel like going anywhere.

-C

-J

Come on, don't be a party pooper.

We're just going to a cafe.

Would it happen to be the one he works at?

-C

-J

He works at a cafe?

Which one?

I sighed.

The one where we broke up.

-C

-J

Ohh, yeah that's the one we're going to loll.

Wait a minute, did y'all get together like the second after WE broke up? :O

We're not together.

-C

-J

:(

I was just kidding, Clemmy.

I think it's good that you moved on.

...

But now you're just depressed for whole other reasons xD

Call incoming: Jenna

I glared at the phone for a while but it didn't disappear. It just kept ringing, and the ringtone was disrupting my queued up playlist so I decided to pick up.

"Hiiii Clemmy-tine!" Jenna chirped as soon as I answered.

"Hey." I put the phone on speaker and lay down in bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on my ceiling.

"I hope I didn't interrupt your 'Sad Boi Spotify Time,' haha," she said.

"You did actually, and it was an especially depressing new playlist as well."

To be fair, it's not that the songs on it were depressing. It's just that it was the playlist that Everett had shared with me. They were bright and the lyrics were cheerful, and it only made me feel worse because they reminded me so much of him.

I missed the sound of his laughter, and his tiny nose, and his chaotic nature, and the way his hair curls up in every which way. I missed his sparkling, glittering eyes framed in those stupidly long, messy lashes.

I missed him like crazy.

"Why don't you just go see him, Clem." I could almost hear Jenna rolling her eyes over the phone. "Or at least drop a flirty text."

"That would be way out of line. He doesn't like me like that."

"How do you know?" Jenna challenged.

"He hasn't said anything."

"Neither have you."

I glared at the ceiling.

"And why would he tell you?" Jenna continued, "He probably thinks you're still hung up over me. Did you see his face at the skating rink when you hugged me? You actually shouldn't have done that, Clem."

"I don't think I did," I grumbled.

"Well I think you gave him the wrong impression; you acted really weird in front of him," Jenna accused, "He probably thinks you're as straight as a pole."

I averted my eyes for a moment, remembering that I hadn't really corrected that assumption.

"Oh my GOD, Clementine!" Realization dawned on Jenna. "You didn't tell him?"

I think this is actually the first time she's called me by my full name. Coming from her...it sounded rather offensive.

"It didn't really come up," I mumbled, flushing slightly at the lie.

"Oh, and you didn't think to just tell him?" Jenna asked sarcastically.

"It's not like I can just out of the blue inform him about my sexuality; that's creepy," I muttered, "He would've thought I was like...creepily coming on to him or something."

"You wanna know why I broke up with you, Clementine?" Jenna took a deep breath and continued on without waiting to hear my answer. "It's because you're always second guessing yourself. It's not an easy thing for whoever you're dating to have to deal with." She paused. "And you never kissed first."

"What?" I choked out.

"Sometimes you lean in like you're about to, but then you seem to just change your mind." She sounded sad. "I understand being nervous in a new relationship, but we were together for three years, Clementine."

"I just didn't want to do it randomly without your permission," I protested.

"I know and that's great and all Clementine, but there's a freaking limit." Her voice rose. "You can't just act cold and then expect everyone else to put in the effort."

"I never knew you felt that way, Jenna." I dragged a hand through my hair, feeling upset. "I'm not a mind reader."

"You don't have to be a freaking mind reader to know how someone you care about is feeling. You know what, Clementine, you are just way too stuck inside your own head." Jenna sounded angry when she said my name like that. "So much so, that you act like you don't even care about anything or anyone else. You think it wouldn't affect other people because you imagine they don't care about you. But they do care. And I know you have some kind of social anxiety or something," she added, "But you're being an asshole."

Tears stung my eyes. "Of course I care, I'm in love with him, Jenna!"

"Then fucking act like it," Jenna finally snapped, "You're being an idiot."

And with that she cut the call. The line went dead. I stared at the blank screen for a long time.

Her words stung but she was right. I needed to hear it.

I had been an idiot all along.

A/n: clementine being shamed for being an idiot^ xP