Chapter 155

“You look tired, your highness,” Elias notices, his loyal butler Chester pushing him into the sitting room.

The ornate room, which had seemed dull and lifeless all week, suddenly seem to brighten a tad as he is rolled right to the side of my couch as opposed to being seated on the opposing couch across from me. The proximity is comforting. Most maids and servants are required to stand a certain distance away from all imperial family members, which can feel incredibly isolating at times.

I know, I know. I said I wouldn’t see Elias again until my 12th birthday when he begs for forgiveness with a nice present. But this princess is also a loser with no friends so I have to make do with the few I have while Emma is off on assignment and I’m stuck in a fugue about the tea party yesterday.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to tell a lady that?” I snap, before latently recalling that Elias’ mother died at birth and could be a huge source of trauma for him.

“Sorry,” I add immediately after, my anger disappearing in the face of contrition. I don’t want to be one of those cliche princesses who are so caught up with themselves that they lack empathy and consideration for others.

“It’s alright,” Elias says, waving away the comment as if it wasn’t his mother I’d accidentally insulted. He narrowly peers at me, his eyes seeing to peel back layers to unveil my true emotions. “You seem... different. Did anything happen since I last saw you?”

“Different, huh? You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” I sigh, thinking over the assassination attempt, my semi-disastrous foray into the younger circles of high society, and the struggles of acquiring a trade permit for coffee under my pseudonym of Pandora. If I revealed that Pandora was actually me, I’m sure the process would be far easier. But then, all my business dealings would be common knowledge to the public, leaving me open to condemnation and criticism. Running a business is seen as lower class amongst the nobility.

.....

I tell Elias my struggles and by the end of my short, woeful summary, Elias is chuckling to himself, shaking his head as if he couldn’t fathom what he had just heard.

“See, I told you you wouldn’t believe me,” I pout, burying my face in an ivory couch pillow. It faintly smells like incense and the light perfume that is used on every article of furniture.

“Winter, I’m not laughing because I don’t believe you. I’m laughing because I cannot believe how incredible you are.” His amethyst eyes burn a bit too bright as he speaks, as if he actually means what he says. I feel my cheeks warm. Compliments are a dime a dozen from maids who want to gain my favor, but I do not often hear sincere ones.

“You jest,” I say in a “tell me more” kind of way.

“I wouldn’t dare, your highness. You are truly brilliant,” Elias tells me in a serious voice.

“What did I tell you about calling me that?” I chide him in a playful manner as the topic meanders into the mundane and ordinary. A foolish nobleman blew through much of his inheritance on a few raucous nights at a Red House. The head constable of the Radovalsk police force had his pants pulled down by a nimble-fingered thief who sounds a little bit too much like Jack.

“I was put into music lessons recently,” I muse after I’m tired of laughing from his stories.

“Oh?” Elias perks up.

“I’m rubbish, obviously. One useless hand does make playing an instrument rather difficult. And singing is considered too lowly for me to learn,” I quickly explain lest he presumes me to be the next Mozart.

He nods slowly, unfazed by my explanation. “Music is useful to learn. Its structure is similar to magic.”

“Magic? Isn’t that a taboo in this empire if it isn’t used by a licensed physician, one of the Holy Church’s people, or me?” I turn an inquisitive eye in his direction, silently ordering Elias to keep talking.

He beckons me closer as if to share a secret with me. But I’m disappointed when he just says, “Magic is a force of nature, embedded in the very bones of this empire. It cannot be good or bad the same way water is not good or bad.”

“That’s not quite the same. You need water to live, but you don’t need magic to live,” I sigh, disappointed he’s not informing me of anything new.

“Oh, but you do. Don’t you need your bones to live?” He speaks of all this reasonably, as if we are discussing why birds fly or why water is wet.

“Look,” I sigh, feeling as if I’m going in circles. “I’ve read all of the few books on magic the Imperial Library has. Magic does not play that large of a role in the Erudian Empire.

“Us Northerners, we are more forgiving when it comes to magic. We know things those of you in the capital do not.” He’s doing that infuriating thing he did last time where he pretends he knows everything.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“So will you tell me or will you keep dangling the carrot before me? If you won’t say, I have other ways of finding out for myself. But I’m sure you know that already, don’t you, Elias?” A flash of old anger parks itself on the periphery of my emotions, demanding to be let through. “Congratulations on winning your bet about whether or not the coming-of-age ceremony would go smoothly. I suppose you don’t have to leave the capital now,” I add snidely, referencing the bet we’d made in the heat of our last argument.

“I found no pleasure in winning, especially after you were wounded,” he confesses, his innocent face not appearing the least bit smug. But that too could just be a mask to hide his true intentions.

“How do you know I was hurt?” I ask, reflexively curling away from him on the sofa.

“I can see it. I can sense it. From the moment I entered, you’ve had the energy and temperament of a recovering patient.” I rub at my neck where I’m certain the wound has already disappeared.

“Well, I’m alive. And so is my father,” I bite back without my usual care for my words. Elias is sharp, catching my slip of tongue without skipping a beat.

“His Majesty was in danger?” His clasped hands on his lap, which had been tapping out a tempo I could not follow, immediately paused mid-beat.

“That’s none of your business.” But that purple energy comes to mind and an idea comes to me. “Wait. Forget birthday gifts. If you do this one thing for me, I will properly forgive you for your deceit.”

“Deceit?”

“I treated you as a friend, yet you only showed me a false version of yourself. Who knows how conniving and wicked you are under your gentle appearance?” I accuse lightly, peeping at Elias through my lashes.

“The same could be said of yourself, your highness, for you are as lovely as you are devious. It is unfair to condemn me of such a crime,” he counters swiftly, not breaking eye contact with me.

To a certain effect, his words do ring true. Moving through high society is like attending a constant masquerade ball, where dropping your mask for even a moment can have dire repercussions. But while knowing all this, I still remember the pang of hurt when he’d turned his face so suddenly.

I rise from the sofa and step close until I’m towering over him in his wheelchair. “I’m a princess. I’m a promised child. I’m Pandora. And I’m many more identities you couldn’t possibly fathom. But one thing I have not been, is disingenuous in my interactions with you. You have gotten the most real version of me.” And you squandered her away.

“When will you show me the real you? The one tucked away in here,” I tap on his chest, “plotting or whatever it is you are up to? What do you want, Elias? We can work together to achieve it.” I don’t know when my voice acquired a stupid, pleading tone, but it’s too late to change its course.

“Me?” Elias seems surprised at my question. “What do I want? Not much I suppose. Just those who owe me to pay me my just dues,” he answers vaguely. But I can see something flicker behind those deep purple eyes that have been like a stone wall when it came to interpreting his emotions. There must be some truth to his answer which I can manage.

If there had been none, I don’t think I would ever speak to him again.

“I don’t know if I should trust you. I don’t know if I should avoid you,” I admit, not letting up on the physical intimidation.

Elias clears his throat awkwardly. “Do neither. Or the first. Maybe not the second. There are... very few in the capital I can call my friend as well.”

“A friend, huh? I used to have many of those too.” But the interrogation is over. The tense moment gains a brief reprieve as I back out of his space and pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Now where was I before you decided to show off how clever your tongue is?” I let out a sigh, but it’s the freeing kind that leaves my chest feeling less blocked up than before.

“You had a favor to request of me in lieu of a gift,” Elias replies dutifully.

I snap my fingers. “That’s right! I did. I have questions about something that, if you’re caught it might get both of us in trouble, but would most definitely get you in trouble. Are you still open to hearing it?”

“Please share, Pandora.”

“Hmph. Just Winter.” But it’s halfhearted, my mind already on the topic at hand. “Forbidden magic,” I whisper with a flourish of my hands. “There are no sources about it in the Imperial Library. But I have a feeling that it is present in the capital.”

It’s more than a feeling of course, as I quite literally slurped it up like spaghetti the other day to save my father’s life. But there is only so much I should share with Elias.

Elias lets out a huff that faintly sounds like a chuckle, his eyes gazing off into the distance. But his tone is sure and steady. “I am yours to command, Winter. If it is forbidden magic you wish to learn about, I shall see to it that you are satisfied.”

“Hmmm,” I hum nonchalantly, unable to curtail the smile on my lips. “I shall await your results with bated breath.” The air suddenly seems to smell sweeter, the weather feels warmer. Satisfaction is truly a feeling unlike any other.

“Sweet Winter, where do you hide?” A usually welcomed, but at the moment entirely unwelcomed voice says. It’s Augustus performing one of his spontaneous visits after sparring practice, when the path takes him right past the central palace and myself.

“Brother!” I chirp, taking a few steps away from Elias unconsciously. Augustus has grown tall, covering the steps from the door to the couches in a few, short steps. If it weren’t for the fact that I’d dismissed all maids thoroughly when Elias arrived, I would’ve known he was on his way.

Displeasure announces its presence on Augustus’ handsome face, tugging the corner of his mouth downward. As summer readily approaches, a steady tan has begun to make itself known on his skin, making him look more rugged and grown. “What is he doing in here? Unchaperoned. Unsupervised. Where is your nursemaid?”

He suddenly looks and sounds so much like our father, although Emperor Helio has never spoken to me so.

“We are children. I need no chaperone,” I scoff to my older brother, barely suppressing an eye roll. I’ve watched this scene often, where the father or older male chaperone walks in and indignantly barks at the offending male presence. But never in my life did I expect this to happen to me for the first time here and now in another world.

“Aren’t you always the first to remind me that childhood is a luxury we do not enjoy in this family?” He asks, purposefully stepping in between Elias and myself so I cannot see my wheelchair-bound companion behind his towering figure. Irritation sparks up. I dislike the way Augustus throws past words back in my face.

“Well, it isn’t your place to worry about with whom and how I pass my time,” I accuse, crossing my arms and turning away to hide my embarrassment.

“And if I were to disagree? There is no place in our home, in our empire, that isn’t my place,” he challenges in a soft yet unforgiving tone. Augustus wears a smile, but his eyes look between the two of us, carrying the blazing torch of suspicion.

It is now I realize, Elias is not the only one who’s changed from my initial impression. For this is not the easily manipulated crown prince who gave in to my whims when I held a letter opener to my throat. Not. At. All.

I don’t know if I should be proud or worried.