Fighting in My Mind
Translator: End less Fantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
When Huangfu Lingyao returned, he had just delicately lifted the covers when he heard a voice from inside the room.
His heart skipped a beat, and before lying down, he quickly climbed out of the window, asking, âWife, why are you awake? Are you thirsty or hungry? Is something bothering you?â
Liu Shimeiâs voice came from inside the room. âIâm fine. I just woke up to use the restroom and wanted to see if you were asleep.â
She had woken up in the middle of the night to relieve herself and, worried about their dog, glanced out the window only to find it missing.
In that moment, her worry had been genuine!
âOh, I had to use the restroom,â Huangfu Lingyao provided a standard answer â a bathroom call.
But upon reflection, he was afraid she might suspect he had taken an unusually long time in the restroom. So, he added, âItâs so dark at night, I woke up in a daze and thought I was still in the Imperial Residence. I went the wrong way. Thatâs why I took such a long route back.â
A perfect explanation.
Liu Shimei, as expected, had no doubts. She said, âWell, thatâs alright then. Go back to sleep.â
âOkay!â Only then did Huangfu Lingyao lie down.
He had once again managed to hoodwink her!
While he felt relieved, there was also a nagging unease in his heart. âIn the future, can I no longer act in secret? Otherwise, with my abilities, I could easily deceive her. But Iâm afraid thatâ¦â
Thinking about the word âdeceiveâ that Mu Jiangli had mentioned, his unease stemmed from here!
Lies tend to snowball; telling one lie requires a thousand and ten thousand more to cover it up.
He genuinely worried that, as he told more and more lies, if Liu Shimei were to discover the truth in the future, would she still forgive him?
The more he thought, the more troubled Huangfu Lingyao became. âDespite doting on me in every way, treating me like a child, thereâs a stubbornness in her that canât be underestimated. Anything she doesnât want, no one can force her!â
She was absolutely unwavering on her principles.
Turning on the small bed, Huangfu Lingyao pondered, âShould I test her attitude? Well, maybe I should try it. If her resistance isnât too obvious, Iâll find an opportunity to be honest with her and explain things.â
Liu Shimei was a clever person. With just a hint from him, she would surely understand why he had chosen this path. She should be able to empathize, right?
After all, once they opened up to each other, as a married couple, wouldnât that be wonderful?
Butâ¦
Turning over again, he hesitated once more. âBut what if sheâs unwilling to understand me? Or worse, she knows my predicament but doesnât want to face it with me?â
No, that wouldnât work!
Though she treated him very well, Huangfu Lingyao could not shake the feeling that her feelings for him werenât very deep. Perhaps it was more like⦠she had grown accustomed to his presence, but she could do without him?
She indulged him because they were in the same boat, and he had always clung to her, making it impossible for her to shake him off!
Finally, Huangfu Lingyao was struck by a horrifying questionâ
âWhat if she likes me, but only likes this foolish side of me? Because this version of me makes her drop her guard, not worrying that I might scheme against her. But if I reveal my true self, she surely wonât trust me and will suspect my motives!â
âBesides, in the beginning, my purpose in getting close to her was to use her to scheme against the Crown Prince!â
With all these thoughts swirling in his mind, it was as if a pair of little people were fighting in his head, and Huangfu Lingyao just could not fall asleep!
Perhaps his movements in bed had been too noticeable, as he woke up Liu Shimei, who asked, âLingyao, are you feeling unwell?â
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