7 Ataraxia

My head throbbed with an ache so dull that everything slowed, my heart, my mind and the soul that I carry. Allowing such a sensation made the occasion bearable. Neither numb nor aware. I refused to ask him further. similar the way I withheld from looking at him too.

It wasn't my tongue that felt tied and confused with fury and disbelief. I merely laid it to rest so the answers I may receive to the doubts it projects might snatch the little peace I found in our walk back.

I saw her die. Her veins and lungs froze to death. I am trembling inside. But I won't dwell.

Some one froze her.

And he yearns to know about me.

I. Shouldn't. Dwell.

I am so scared.

I must stop.

I strived to not think of it. I succeeded soon since I had revised from an age of young to distract my conscience from letting go.

Patience and hope.

I had distracted myself from setting that niche of mine ablaze. The one that wrestled to bask in the suffering of my tormentors. And it hasn't been much different yet- I still get guilty at such thoughts even with who I believe to be the deserving ones.

So I follow him, the sound of our shoes and the sky above this sleeping city the only consort. Soon the trees and bushes took over the where brothels and mills reside, though it was a long walk there wasn't much that ilks my mind.

I was counting the stars, inhaling the scent of damp earth after the drizzling rain and wondered about the leisure the moon may feel to be so far and safe from the chaos.

But chaos can come in all forms and nature. My eyes fall on the man beside me- and he is there, strolling with me, his steps though vital remaining in pace with mine. As if he was restraining his phase to accompany me. And the more I let the image of him consume me- the fiercely I am assured of my theory.

Chaos can be calm.

And I realised that they are the most dangerous of kind because it's demeanour launders the heart they carry. Reading his heart is a luxury while reaching his eyes was a farce.Its too precise to not envy, it is too much like the lonely moon to not wish to be such.

I fail to map the path again as we reach a new opening, it is a small green house with a doorway through, we pass a set of hallways before he uses a key to another door and slides over a panel disguised as a fence. And like that, we were inside a magnificent library.

It was enormous and so -so tall that I feared I may sprain my neck while admiring the neatly kept stakes of books on various floorings. The library itself was hot and cosy, smelling of old books, woods and coffee beans. There are people, minor and aged , apprentice for ventim in their sky blue uniforms. Their coats were buttoned up to their necks and stopped right above their knees. One could easily separate them, they had their nose buried and lips sealed, it was scary how similar they all looked. Serious, studious and disinterested in what went around them. Almost similar to the Prince beside me-

I shake away the thought immediately.

He cannot be a scholar, if he was I would have known. I would have read or heard it somewhere. A royals' abilities are revealed with pride when they are of age, and it stays in the scrips and with the people until and after their deaths.

But with this prince who was born in the new world, he has been an embodiment of an enigma in existence. Some believe he is of cursed destiny and some are ardent to brand him as a liability. They don't like him, nor are they hateful.

It is an impossibility to determine a person when all he had been is a mystery to the crown.

He is as unknown to the world as I am of my own birth.

Everything is normal. The readers, the guards and the guides- I hadn't realised what I was surprised about, but it has to be the fact that a prince had escaped the premise and no one seem to have a gist of it. Some look at us and simply pass by, contrary to what I speculated, receiving a couple of sour eyes and nothing that thrilled them with the person next to me.

Then I look to my side and it was empty.

He was gone.

His scent remained as the sold proof that he was even here.

Exhaling a breath that had been building up in me I decide to navigate the sections in library that I could comprehend, reeling back to times I would have spent my days in such place- it had been a frivolous dream of a young me. An access I had to books wasn't enough, I found some of the familiar titles among the aisle and I know I could recite their pages from memory. I touch them, I smell their pages, I smile at their words and suddenly I feel a yank on my shoulder.

I turn with my fist up in defence and my attention seeker quite clumsily shoved me away instead of blocking me. I stumble, my fall cushioned by the pad of unorganised books on floor.

"That wasn't pleasant and it shall be our secret young kasper" I recognised that smooth voice even before I saw him. It was the ventim from the chamber where I was initially introduced to the royals. And I still don't know where on the stage he stands.

So when he lends his hand for me to take, I let mine hold and be lifted.

"My apologies sir, I did not mean to act so-

His shoulder clashed with mine as he whirled stoically, walking ahead- he waves, encouraging my gaping self to thread in the direction he went.

"Boy or girl, none has the audacity or heart to punch a face as charming as mine. I know how edgy you are- preoccupied in your head most while, mostly lost" I never knew that words could have a strong effect on me, not when they were so harmless and simply a result of severe observation.

But it is from who it came.

A person who could decipher emotions from a flap of a bird's wing. He is an inventor, advisor and negotiator. He could be anything he wants. And he is a beautiful man of southern descent, with foxy eyes and glassy skin. And my steps stammer along with my voice as I foolishly attempt to outsmart a foul perceiving tool with soul and long legs.

"I know sir, I happen to be shimmering with the idea of settling down in my new home you see"

I was proud of my quick wit when he took a moment to comprehend and -

"That's an adorable lie"

My nose goes cold, two girls walk in on one another as they simultaneously bowed to greet him. He nods once with a practised smile. It was gone the soon we were past them, his said charm. Faces rise from their books and they elevate from the seat to stand, their head low and hands clasped behind their back in an act of respect.

"You are afraid for your life" he declared, lifting two of his fingers at the guards by the door as they slide it open for us, for him. We are in the hollow mouth of base- from here the stairway I took to reach the Ezdan is inches shy from me. I know my way from here.

But I don't know the person accompanying me of his own will. I am unaware of so many things that I feel like an infant out of womb. Cold, afraid and in dire need to expand my lungs with a scream of cry.

And how may of a play would it be for him to read me? I stare at the ventim with vulnerability stark in my language and vision. Because the more I hide, the more he will seek. It's the passion they are born with.

"No one wants to be my friend, and I don't want to be an outcast" I am defying him, his persuasive manipulation. Perhaps providing him with options might make him lose his focus- but it was in vain as he revolts

"You became an outcast the moment you were chosen by Prince Julian. And aiding him in his escapade today only nailed your fate kid. It's too late to redeem"

My demeanour falls from my face and I am staring at him, blank and blinking. Because I am understanding the pattern- it's clear as dawn.

"You help him here when he is gone, you provide an alibi" I say

"Smart"

"What of my absence?"

"You were with my students, supporting them with textual arrangements since morning" his eyes rake me with contentment "Good you appear enough exhausted to justify the excuse"

My students?

How gifted was he to train while he appeared no more than of age Dorin is.

Strewn with a wide range of outcomes, I maintain my spiral ling sanity, what calibre was he from to have such unquestioning authority- I hear his tired exhale.

"You don't know who I am do you?"

Our gaze meet-

"I am Marlon. Marlon saga"

***

He escorted me, the successor of Saga descent himself in flesh walked me to the base, to the dome hall where the fighters feasted and celebrated with drinks and applause. The energy crackles in the room and I see a circle formation in middle. When I galloped down the stairs I recognized the commotion.

It was a duel, like the unfair one I had with General Slantis this morning - which feels like a week ago. But this was different, they weren't wielding swords or weapons, I can't see them well, but neither can I hear a weapon . It was the physical.

"Aspiring Armins are no less than animals" with such a large gathering in the centre there isn't one or few who saw us. Saw him. And he was yet here with me passing remarks as if we were lost comrades exchanging adventures at tea. "Not to mistake my jab with the one who will make it, someone like you"

He reminded me of Noon and his approach. He had been the only ventim I ever encountered and he made me feel relaxed and riled at the same time.

There is a swirl of heat and then a strike of fire that sizzled in strike. I gasped- though I wasn't able to see the fight inside, I know the incense of the fire. And in moment I tried to run towards it, but Marlons hand enclasped my wrist.

"Don't"

I twist to free myself, he lets go. But I am not moving. Not reaching for him because I know a saga wouldn't command or purpose if there's no reason behind it. Saga- the only Lord with a ventim bloodline sent to fight a war. The pioneer of annihilating inventions immune to sea, land and sky. And I am here trusting his blood to advise me.

"He is my brother"

"He is also someone who needs to make his name to survive" he squints after "Aren't you the one who instigated a dragon while they already had their hands full?" He pushes the right button, up to my nasal passage so it completely blocks any arguments I had in me.

I know they could have died if the dragon didn't give up. Dorin almost did. And he also woke up and he is fighting again. Also he is an idiot.

"I will leave you to decide though, you might not want to steal his vigour and fame-" he is stepping away as he speaks and I must be relived. But I want him here, I want him to tell me more "- rage overpowers the loneliness that comes with being an outcast"

There is a roar of cheer, similar to the one in trails. I look to see a girl lifting Dorin's arm, claiming him a winner as he grins at the chanting crowd.

It sings his name.

When I turn, I see the sagas visage disappear into the corner. And this time I don't wait- I rush to Dorin who stood between a dispersion. When he sees me I am too close to him, and I collide- engulfing him in a hug so strong that the feel of my arms is strained. He does the same with me- lifting me off the ground and gave one fine twirl.

He is warm, so so warm like the fur of a bear. And we are watched, and we didn't heed to it. We were celebrating our lives that got spared. I yank him to the sides, into the hallways until we were in an empty practice room. It is dark with golden hues from the camp down seeping over the large window.

We sit on the ground with our legs folded and back to wall.

Breathing. Finally breathing.

Safe.

For now.

We stay such in tranquility until I crack with my real pitch.

"There accent is ruining my voice" I smile, my gaze blurring as I touch my neck, known well by both of us that it isn't why i was displaying such fragility. His concerned gaze looms over me and I notice how rested he appeared. His new attire made him so much more approachable than he usually looks, there's a recent cut on his lips and a healed scar in his brow "I might lose it at this rate"

He closes his eyes, when he speaks it brims with guilt and honesty.

"I am sorry for being asleep for so long"

"I will be damned if you aren't"

Silence.

"Did they do something...to you?"

I scoot my knees closer to my chest, watching the lights of people shifting play in the wall ahead.

"No"

"Should I believe you?"

"You are the only one I don't lie to" entirely at least.

"Castle has been on my side since morning, she told me everything that I missed. Well- she wrote me the details since I flunked to keep up with her speed" he chuckles humoured at our fate perhaps. "Is there something more I am being kept from?" He asks.

I reply with a loud snort.

There's too much and we certainly have the whole night to theorise and possess ourselves with terror.

"There are few, but I don't wish to dwell on it tonight. Not suitable for a brain recovering from coma" I click my tongue with a wink, the mask of a polite and submissive boy a story of past in hour.

There is so much we need to say and listen to. There's a tragedy in the pages of our book and all we seem and want to do is appreciate the colours of its covers tonight. So when he smiles in mischief I arc my brow.

"We made it" he whispers tightly. I nod returning his smile for the seconds that fool him, and then I smack. A slap to his elbow. He jerked and winced as I do it again.

"What made you think it was fine to jump in there?" I am hissing and laughing, I am losing control "castle doesn't even have a liking toward you, and you were ready to be shred for her"

"I know"

"You know?"

"I only did it because her dying would make the world a bit less beautiful"

I squirm with giggle.

"We are siblings on papers now"

He smirks painfully.

"My fire can burn those pages"

***

It was narrated in investing desperate pleads that the fire hadn't always been there. Though spark and grainy flutter of flare remained, none that combusts an inferno. He sweared on his dead mother's grave which was too extreme for me to not believe. And I hadn't earned the right to stay mad at him because I can't flaunt loyalty as he did.

"I sometimes see a snippet of future in dreams" I had confessed unassured "and animals seem to be kind with me- but I know they aren't enough for my instigator to be a mythical anomaly"

I keep the event that involves a high blood aside for today because I suspect that Dorin wasn't prepared for it. Planning a heist in the court of Azure was a demeaning risk enough and to do it under the guidance and scrutiny of crown was equal to smacking a stamp upon a warrant of death.

He might go reckless with the information with how feral his adaption was. Not after he fought yesterday like that. Antar is changing him. It's changing Us.

While he seems to have amplified his gifts, mine is lost. I haven't had a vision in my dreams. My sleep has never been so peaceful.

It was morning and we had bought our plate of breakfast in the same empty training room. We were in the middle of eating to hearts fill when castle sauntered in. Her robe over her suit flutters behind ,her hair was tied in a high tail.

There was a plate in her hand. Similar but smaller.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, inwardly cringing at the rude manner it rolled. Fine was it that castle doesn't take any offence, not from me for less.

I have a suspicion that she doesn't take me seriously.

"We are bonded by a sibling hood- even if both of you don't bother, there are keen eyes in patrols that see over moves" she signs as Dorin frowns at me. I swallow the slice of apple with a nod. "Also you both forgot desserts" she drops the small plate she carried here in my lap.

"So considerate" Dorin grimaced with sarcasm. It was a sight to mark in history where Dorin genuinely seemed frustrated at the view of her.

"It's for her" she patiently signs for him, batting her eyes with smirk. Meanwhile, she reaches into her robe, pulling out two cards. We took it from her and skimmed through it.

It was time and venue.

The docks.

Both of us shared a gaze before diverting it at castle, she was prepared for our unasked query.

There is a flash of dishevelled nervousness that I never thought to see from her. But Antar- has indeed transformed us all- even her.

She knots hers fingers and sucks in a breath,

"We leave keld tomorrow-" her fingers halt for a second as she smiled in encouragement, it doesn't reach her eyes "Brace for the beginning"

A/N - the Antarians is alleged to have accent similar as British while Iris has much softer one, probably French.

Marlon Saga has Asian features for those that might confuse. And hope you like him.;)

P.s unedited 👼