Eighteen

"Dad, stop!"

Tears are spilling down my cheeks. It doesn't stop him.

"Daddy!" I cry, hugging my doll.

This time, he looks up, a murderous look on his face. His eyes are red. I'm scared.

"Go away! This is between your mother and I!"

He's hurting her. My mom glances at me, strands of her brown hair falling in her face.

"Run, Sophia!" she screams, her own eyes blurry with tears.

The next second, she lets out a strangled sound, looks one last time at me, her mouth opens to say 'I love you', and I run.

I run, hearing my father's screams. I run, hearing my mother's screams of pain, and then I scream, too, because her pain is my pain.

I think I reach the road. Where do I go? What do I do? Mommy! I need you!

My head spins. My eyes are blurry. I look up and notice a man. His figure is also blurry, but he's walking in my direction, and I have to look up when he's in front of me.

He kneels down and frowns.

"What are you doing alone here, my little?" he asks, pushing his glasses up his bridge with a concerned look.

"My daddy... mommy... why?" I stutter, crying even more.

The man looks behind me. He won't be able to see my house. Daddy chose this house in the forest. Narrowing his eyes, the man stands up and only then do I realize the two men with him.

I don't know what is going on. I just want to go home. I want my mom.

The men start to run in the direction of my house. They can't do that! He'll hurt them!

"Are you hurt?" the man asks me in a gentle tone, kneeling in front of me again.

I shake my head, sniffing. "No, but mommy—"

We hear a loud sound. I let out a scream and hide my face in the man's chest. I want this to stop.

The man strokes my hair.

"It's okay. You'll be fine." He pauses, and I try to stop crying to listen to him. "He won't hurt you anymore."

"Sophia!"

He'll hurt her. He'll hurt her.

"Sophia, wake up. It's a nightmare."

I gasp, my eyes opening. Then I look around me wide-awake, sitting up in my bed.

My eyes fall on Brandon in my dorm room, and I narrow my eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here? What's going on?" I look at the pistol in his hands.

He walks towards my nightstand and put down the weapon, still eyeing me with a concerned look. I don't get it. I rub my eyes tiredly, then realize that my heartbeat is faster than usual.

Brandon sits down at the end of my bed. He doesn't ask for permission, and for unknown reasons, I don't bother telling him to stand up and go away. The black t-shirt he's wearing looks old and tight on him, and his gray sweatpants tells me it's still the night.

So what is he doing in my room?

He runs a hand through his hair, making it tousled, and I can tell he definitely just woke up.

But why, goddammit?

"You were screaming," he murmurs, carefully glancing in my direction. "I was walking down the hall and heard you. I'm definitely not the only one."

I tense. Slowly, I understand. I try to swallow the lump in my throat. Shaking my head, I get out of my bed to walk away from Brandon. I feel vulnerable. I'm not vulnerable. I shouldn't be, and he shouldn't have heard me or being aware of what just happened.

Fucking hell.

"Well, I'm fine." I grab a hoodie. "What time is it?"

"It's 3 in the morning, Sophia," he says, and I turn to look at him. When I see his serious expression, I put the hoodie on, so I don't have to meet his eyes.

"That's great," I finally reply, shrugging a shoulder. "I'm not tired anymore and I work better at night."

I turn around to head towards the door.

"Sophia Montgomery," he calls, his voice deep and bossy. I stop in my track, tightening my fists. "You stay in this room. At some point, you'll need to stop running away. Is that what we taught you as an agent?"

I whirl around to glare at him.

"Yes, it is, Agent Haynes. I was eight years old when I first learned to do that," I reply through gritted teeth, walking until I stand in front of him.

His gaze automatically softens. I regret my answer right away because he got what he wanted.

I close my eyes and rub them, shaking my head. Brandon stays quiet. I sit down on my bed.

"I hate you, Brandon," I state in a murmur, taking my head in my hands.

"I know," he replies calmly, his expression blank of emotions for a moment. Then, he sighs and comes to sit next to me.

"You wanna talk about—"

"No," I cut him off, glancing at him in disbelief.

He nods, looking in front of him at nothing in particular. I appreciate the silence between us, because I know that soon, he'll speak again.

"You have these nightmares often?" Brandon questions after a while, and I look down at the sleeves of my hoodie. I just realize how oversized it is.

I shrug a shoulder, swallowing. "I didn't have any, for a while."

"You know, I used to have nightmares about that night." He shakes his head, glancing at me. I hold my breath. "It was shit. I didn't have someone to wake me up just in time before I get—"

He clears his throat and watches my expression. I keep it blank. I'm good at pretending.

Brandon continues. "I didn't have anyone to wake me up or to talk to about these."

I watch him. When he runs his hand through his hair, I notice the subtle scar on the side of his forehead. Closely, I can notice the physical scars he has.

I don't think he noticed mine, though. The physical ones, and the ones you can't see, because they're not all physical.

Clearing my throat, I look in his eyes again.

"How did you get rid of them?" I finally ask.

He shrugs a shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know. At some point, they were just gone. I don't remember how and when. After so many sleepless nights... I just lost count."

My answer is at the tip of my tongue, but I force myself to not say it. I bite the inside of my cheek, but it's too late. Brandon notices my expression and raises an eyebrow.

"Say what you have to say."

I clench my fists. "I think you met Nova. That's when it stopped."

He stares at me, his expression not telling me what he's thinking. And it kills me, because he's as good as me to hide his feelings.

After a moment, he simply shakes his head. "I don't think that's how it happened. Why are you always bringing her in our conversations?"

Voilà. The moment—whatever it was, probably just a mistake—is gone. I shake my head and take a deep breath.

"Because she's your girlfriend? She hates me and you still try your best to talk to me when—" I sigh, standing up. "Never mind, Brandon."

"I tried to—" He pauses, biting his lip and closing his eyes. He lets out a breath and rubs his eyes as if searching for the right words. "I tried to... forget about the past. Forget about that night. And you should do the same, Sophia. We are partners now, and we can try to be friends. Right now, with everything happening, we need to be on the same side. We can't let our feelings..."

Again, he pauses. He stares at me for a little too long, and I cross my arms like it would protect me.

"We can't let our feelings play a role in all of this. We need to trust each other again. Now more than ever."

"I told you, Brandon. I don't do friends." Nor love. "We—"

"That's bullshit and you know that." Brandon's voice is serious again, and he takes a step towards me. "What the hell happened between us, besides what happened that night?"

My eyes widen. This time, I had enough.

"You wanna know what happened? Fine. You, Brandon. You happened. You came into my life so unexpectedly, then you left. And now you're back again, and I didn't have time to think about how I deal with all of this."

I shake my head. "We fell in love and we destroyed each other. That's what happened. You destroyed me, and..."

I need to destroy you.

"One day, you'll be the death of me," I conclude. "If I let you close to me again, that's what will happen."

Brandon doesn't say anything. He stares at me, his blue eyes darker than usual, his jaw clenched. But he blinks, and his calm expression is back. There's even a small, subtle smile on his lips.

With everything that I just said, he smiles?

He steps back. His expression troubles me. He finally nods and looks me in the eyes.

"Okay, I get it," he says, taking out his phone.

I'm not sure you do. I keep my expression blank.

He turns to head towards the door. Before he opens it, he pauses to glance at me.

"You certainly didn't destroy me yet, sweetheart."

I close my eyes. There goes all my energy.

"Brandon—"

He's already gone when I open my eyes.

I sigh. Then I ask myself what the fuck just happened, again?

A few seconds later, my phone beeps. I sit on my bed and grab it. My breath catches in my throat.

I shake my head. I don't want him to have my number.

Then, my phone beeps again.

*

Man, I'm so excited for what's coming.

Hi! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 😏❤️

I'm a bit sad that I didn't make it to the longlist, I have to admit. But hey, that's life, and there's always next year!

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