Twenty-three

I fucking hate feeling hopeless.

But I have to remind myself that I'm not, though. I know I still have two knives hidden in my boots. I know who I am.

Sophia Montgomery. The damn Bird.

I have experience. I can do this. I can save these innocent women. If I can't save myself, I can at least try to do something for them.

It's strange. As an agent, I can't think about the possibility of being the reason for someone's death. I have to think about my mission, the agency, and my own life. But that's unfair and I don't give a shit about that, right now.

I'm not in a mission, right now. I'm in survival mode. For me, but mostly for the ten women in the room who didn't ask to be here. They probably have a family worrying about them.

The only family I have left is, of course, the agency. However, it's not the same thing, and if I have to risk my life because I'm the Bird, to save these women's lives, I won't hesitate.

I can only hope that Britt uses that brain of hers and finds me. How ironic is it that, right now, I so desperately want my best friend to find me and annoy me with questions about a man I don't feel anything for anymore?

I shake my head, closing my eyes. A sudden shiver runs down my spine at the thought of blue, intense eyes, and brown messy hair. It's probably just the temperature of the room, but still.

What is wrong with me? And do I have the right to think about Brandon, right now?

Maybe. What if he stopped me to go out, again? I wouldn't be here, but I also wouldn't have found out about all the women kept in hostage here.

What if they never find me and come to the conclusion that I'm dead? I wonder how would Brandon react.

But he did think you were dead as well.

I sigh softly to not wake up the women beside me. I almost forgot about that. It's crazy to think that if I didn't change my phone number, he would have been able to call me. Things would be different. He would have left the... East Agency, to come back to us.

To me.

But this is the past now. And I seriously wonder why I am thinking about all of that.

A few hours later, women start to wake. I probably got two hours of sleep. I'm already standing up when the women open their eyes, and I head towards the small, unreachable, window.

Unreachable, my ass. I'm Sophia Montgomery, goddammit. If I can at least see something, get a clue to where we are, I won't feel so hopeless.

"What are you doing?" a small, tired voice asks behind me. Hanna.

She stands up to follow me. I glance up at the window.

"Something," I reply, calculating my next move. If I jump high enough...

"I told you we already tried everything," she says carefully, probably sensing the sudden determination radiating throughout my whole body.

I crack my knuckles. "You guys tried everything. I did not."

She comes closer to the wall and glances up at the window.

"All right. I'll stand here if you need me to help you. Be careful, some of us—"

I'm already taking a few steps back, and then I'm running and jumping the highest I can. My hand grips the concrete ledge below the window, and I hiss myself slightly, grimacing when my feet slide down the wall.

Hanna is quick to help, and I let out a breath when her hands try to push me. It helps me to steady myself, and I look down at her for a second.

"Thanks," I say.

"First try and you're up there." She shakes her head, taking a step back. "You're good."

I focus my attention on the small window. It's so dirty I can't see a damn thing outside. Carefully, with one hand,  I try to wipe the window, clenching my teeth when my left hand starts to ache from the effort of gripping the ledge and not falling.

"Everything okay? You see something?" Hanna asks below me, ready to catch me if something happens.

"Not much," I admit, shaking my head. "But I think there's a lot of vegetations."

She sighs loud enough for me to hear. However, it's not her who voices the next words.

"Nobody will ever find us. We're all gonna die."

My feet slide in surprise and my heart skips a beat when my right hand doesn't grip right away the ledge. My knuckles are white from clutching so hard.

Focus. Focus.

"Sophia, get down now," Hanna says, and I look down to see her worried look.

Don't be worried about me, dammit. I'm not worth it.

Gritting my teeth, I hiss myself higher, and maybe it's a stupid thing to do, but I try to break the window with my fist.

"What are you doing?" Hanna questions in curiosity, but soon I can feel her and all of the women getting worried.

"You're just going to hurt yourself," a woman says, but I don't look down anymore.

That pain is nothing. I got worse.

The building is probably old because so is the window. Maybe it's my sudden determination, energy, or my lack of sleep, but I hit harder the thin glass and feel something, besides the pain.

One more hit and the window will shatter.

I'm about to do it—the last hit that will probably do nothing but fill the room with more coldness—when voices stop me.

"They're coming!"

"Shit, get down!"

Confused, I look down at Hanna.

"They are coming," she urges, looking frantically between me and the door. "Come on, get down!"

Quickly, I drop on my two feet, Hanna staying close just in case, and then without waiting for me to say anything, she grabs my arm and quickly leads me to the opposite wall where she sits down, bringing me with her.

She hugs her knees close to her chest and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. I notice the women doing the same.

They're scared.

They're wondering what will happen.

Do they get water or food today?

Or do one of them die?

At the thought, my eyes find the injured woman. I can tell the fever got worse during the night. Her eyes are closed, she trembles against the body of another woman. But that's not what hits me the most.

She's done fighting. She doesn't need to say something or to open her eyes for me to see.

She just is.

This is the first time in years that I feel pain for someone I don't even know. That I feel pain for somebody.

I'm not even here for two days and I already feel myself changing in a way that I can't accept.

I need to get out of here.

The smart part of me tells me that I can't let them find me, the Bird. Thing is, they already found me, but it's just a matter of time until they step in this room, look around, and realize that I'm the Bird, then kill me.

The other part of me, the one that I'm finding about only now, tells me to screw all of this and to save these women. To tell whoever is coming in the room right now that I'm the Bird, I'm the one they're searching for, and to let the others go. It'll save them time and energy.

With a sigh, I reach for my boots and take out the hidden knives. Glancing at Hanna, I notice she still has her eyes closed, but unlike the other women, she doesn't seem so scared now. She's getting used to this.

I imagine her as an agent. And somehow, it fits.

"Hanna," I murmur, not wanting the other women to hear.

She turns her head towards me and opens her eyes. I take her hand in mine and give her one of the knives. Her eyes widen, but she doesn't look down to see what I put in her hand.

"Keep this with you," I say, feeling like I need to do this now because I won't stay long with them.

I already took my decision.

Silently, she hides the knife in her back pocket. Her eyes never leave mines.

"You had this on you and didn't tell us about it?" she questions lowly.

I shrug. "There are some things we need to keep quiet about."

A few moments pass before she nods. "And what do I need to do with this?"

I stare at her intensely. "Survive."

Again, she nods. Her eyes are curious, but she stays quiet after that.

I hear the footsteps coming closer to the door. Then it stops, and a second later, the door bursts open.

A man enters. He looks around, his eyes falling on every woman here. I wait for the moment his eyes will meet mine. Then he'll probably know, just like that night at the bar. If I'm really the Bird, he'll know.

But before his eyes can meet mine, one of his friends calls him. He stayed behind, leaning against the wall in the corridor, his gun ready to be used. I wonder if I would have a chance in my state. I only have a knife, but still. I could run out and disarm him before the other one realizes it.

Probably not a good idea, and I don't want to risk anything.

The bald man with tattoos covering his arms, after listening to what his friend had to say, drops something in the middle of the room. A bag, maybe.

"Eat, Birds. One of you will soon get the chance to go out." He smirks with a mysterious glint in his eyes, then steps back slowly, as if one of us will decide to fight him.

All these women are too afraid, hurt, and tired to try anything. I could do something, though.

But the man is already gone before I can even stand up, say something like I'm the Bird, and all the women suddenly crawl towards the bag.

Hanna and I move forward as well. The woman who got to the bag first looks up.

"Food. And a bottle of water," she declares, looking down again.

To my surprise, nobody moves to get to the food or the water first. They seem to wait for something—or someone—to do the first move. Who will get the privilege to eat whatever good thing is in this bag? Who will drink more than a sip of water?

After a moment, Hanna decides to step in and starts to separate in equal parts everything. I stay behind because food or water is not what I need. I can still survive without it for a few more days.

The man said something like one of us will have the chance to go out.

I don't want to ask what that means to the women.

I just know that it will be me. Nobody here will have to suffer because of me again.

*

After writing for hours, I finally got this chapter for you guys. ❤️

I'm so sorry for the late updates. I'm really busy right now and never been tired emotionally and physically because of college. I hope you can understand.

I know what it feels like when you read a chapter and then there's no updates for a while. Don't worry, I promise I'm trying my best to give you a bit of Sophia's world once in a while. ❤️

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