c h a p t e r • 40

-"Stupid buffoon gorilla big oaf dumbass giraffe"-

Lili's POV

I froze for a few seconds before I slowly looked at his face.

He was looking down at our intertwined hands.

"S...say sike...right now. Laugh or smirk or something! Say y-you're kidding." I gulped.

He sighed and shook his head.

I let go of his hand and backed away.

I stand up and look at him cautiously.

"Don't lie to me, Ryder. St-stop joking around!" I stutter, feeling my heart beat faster.

No...no...it can't be.

"Shortcake..." He pleads.

"I'm not like them, I swear." He technically begs.

It was as if someone was choking me. I couldn't speak and I was finding it harder to breath by the second.

This can't be happening.

Just when I thought things couldn't get more complicated.

My vision starts to blur out as horrifying thoughts invade my mind.

A blurred face has a gun directed to Ryder but he wasn't aware of it.

Ryder had a gun directed to a beggar.

Then, all of a sudden they both had their guns directed at me as the bullets shot in the air.

I screamed when I felt a pair of hands touch me.

"I'm sorry." A voice whispered.

I was suddenly stuck in what looked like a warehouse.

Bullets were firing everywhere making me scream for help but it seemed to never end.

"Lili! Calm down!" A voice said from the distance.

I shook my head as I bury it in my arms.

"Stop. Stop! No! Go away!" I yelled as I begged for all the shouting and gun fight to stop.

"Lili! It's me, Lili. Your brother. Kyle." His voice said, soothingly.

"No! They are everywhere! Get down!" I yelled.

"Liliana. Shhh. It's okay, baby." I felt a pair of arms engulf me in a hug.

The bullets stopped firing as I came back into reality.

I started crying into my dad's chest, feeling scared.

"It's okay, baby. You're with me. Don't be afraid, we're all here." Dad cooed.

"I-I'm sorry." I sobbed.

I pulled away from him and saw Kyle looking clueless while mum had tears in her eyes as she tried to bring Oggy away.

I felt embarrassed and selfish.

How could I do this?

Dad helped me to my bed and tucked me in.

"What's wrong, honey?" Dad asked as he caressed my cheek.

I shook my head, not wanting to say anything.

He clenched his jaw.

"Did anyone hurt you?" He asks, softly and again I shook my head.

He sighs and nods in understanding.

"We'll talk tomorrow. Get some sleep, will you?" He says and I nod.

Kyle was still standing there frozen.

He finally approached me and gave me a hug.

"You scared me, you dumbass." He mutters and let's go of me.

Does he know about the gang?

"Sleep tight." He says and closes the door as he leaves my room.

I leaned against the headboard and sighed.

Why did my whole family have to witness that?

It was embarrassing.

I don't think I could face them.

I closed my eyes as I let a dreamless sleep engulf my fucked up mind.

-•-

The next morning, I woke up to sounds of people talking near my door.

I got up closer to listen in.

"Damie, I don't know what to do. I don't want her to have to go through what I went through." Mum said, concern and worry etched in her voice.

"It's not your fault, baby. We can help her." Dad cooes.

"But-" Dad cut her off.

"No. Just go talk to her. It'll be fine." Dad says.

"I can't do this now. I...I'll wait for her to wake up." Mum says as I hear their footsteps fading.

I sighed and took a short shower before changing into my outfit of the day.

My life may be fucked up but I don't have to look like it.

I took a paper and a pencil before writing a note to my family.

Sorry I didn't come down for breakfast. I went to school early. Love y'all.

I took my book bag and climbed out balcony.

I slowly climbed down, careful not to slip.

Once I finally reached the ground, I smiled in satisfaction.

I went to the garage and got in my car before leaving the driveway and the huge gates.

I drove to school in a kinda above the speed limit type of speed.

Once I've reached school, I parked the car under the shade and took out my phone.

After about half an hour, I heard someone knock on my window making me look to my side.

I saw Kyle looking worried.

I sighed and rolled down my tinted window.

"Why did you leave so early?" He asks.

I fake smiled softly.

"I wanted to avoid talking to mum and dad about last night." I say.

"Well, you definitely can't avoid talking to me about it." He huffs as I got out of the car.

I looked down and pretended to look sad.

"Whenever you're ready, of course." He clears his throat.

I bit back a smile.

"Bye, dumbass." I say as I walk in school.

-•-

2 days later (and they are still avoiding each other)

So, avoiding Ryder has been kinda easy to do because I have a feeling he's avoiding me too and that's just a big no.

I do not want him to avoid me. I want him to find me and talk to me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I really want to talk to him about it but like...I'm that type of girl okay.

This is so frustrating.

As I walked out of school, I saw Ryder leaning on a tree.

Smoking.

This stupid bastard.

"Hey! You big oaf!" I yelled at him and I saw him slowly look at me before his eyes widen and he drops his cigarette, stomping on it.

I stomped to him and glared at him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I shouted.

He sighs and runs a hand through his soft...soft hair.

"Sho-" I cut him off.

"And why the hell are you avoiding me? I'm the only one who's supposed to be avoiding you! That's not fair. You don't get to play that card!" I exclaim.

He looks down like a child being scolded by his mother for eating the food before dinner.

"Can we talk somewhere else...more private?" He asks.

I huffed and tried playing it cool.

"Sure, whatever." I roll my eyes and he pulls me in his car.

Luckily, Kyle has detention because he pulled a couple of pranks on the principal.

He drives out the school and I gasp.

"You stupid Giraffe, my car!" I exclaimed.

He rolls his eyes.

"We'll get it later." He says and I huff, crossing my arms.

We stay in a weirdly enough comfortable silence until we reach a familiar place.

It felt like forever since I've been here.

We got out of the car and started walking into the forest until we see our cliff.

Out of instict, we both sit on the edge of the cliff like the badass or buffoons we are.

We sat there awkwardly until he decided to break the silence.

"So..." He trails off.

"Yeah..." I say, awkwardly.

He scratches the back of his neck nervously and purses his lips.

"How are you?" He clears his throat.

I bit back a smirk at his attempt of starting the conversation.

"I've been better." I shrug.

"Yeah? Me too." He blurts and I couldn't contain it anymore. I bursted our laughing at his face and his ears turn pink.

"Oh my God, you're such a loser!" I laugh.

"I've been called better." He raises and eyebrow challengingly with a sly smile on his face.

"Do you wanna talk about the...thing?" I ask and he nods.

"Where do I start?" He asks himself and clasps his hand with mine making me blush involuntarily but luckily he wasn't looking at me.

"I was born into the gang life which is why my family is rich." He starts. "Your dad, he knows about this too but he didn't want any part of it and so, my father inherited the title from my grandfather who was close friends with your grandfather. Now that my father had retired, he gave me the title and I guess that's how it all started." He sighs.

"So, does Kyle know about it?" I ask and he nods. "And my mum?" Again? He nods.

I think the tea just burnt my tongue...

"So, what gang are you in, exactly?" I ask.

"The Howlerrs." He says and I narrow my eyes at him.

"You lied to me that night," I scoff and he shrugs.

"Stupid buffoon gorilla big oaf dumbass giraffe." I cross my arms and huff, looking away from him.

I heard him chuckle and move closer to me.

"You love this 'stupid buffoon gorilla big oaf dumbass giraffe'." He smirks and whispers in my ear making me blush.

"Maybe I do." I whisper back.

-•-

A/n: woah, honestly the first part was really intense. I've never had a panic attack before, and like sometimes I get close to one but it never really happened to me but I hope whatever I wrote was right or something? I don't know.

Anyways, love you guys!❤️