A Curse So Dark and Lonely: Chapter 37

Rhen always wakes before I do—and he’s usually gone before sunlight creeps through my window. By the time I’m dressed and fed each morning, he’s been up for hours, meeting with his new generals or taking stock of the growing army. As weeks pass, he introduces me to nobles who have ridden to the castle, but I can barely keep track of the people living here.

Rhen, of course, knows them all. Some are clearly allies to his family, while others must smell blood in the water, because they dig at him for information about his father, the king, and try to interrogate me about Disi. After what happened in Hutchins Forge, Rhen is more cautious, but still as smooth with his people as he is with me over cards: all precision and strategy. When I flounder with the people, he says the right things to build them up or knock them down.

If I weren’t lying right beside him at night, I’d say he never sleeps. I can’t believe I once thought him lazy and arrogant.

Tonight, Rhen is having dinner with Micah Rennells, an older man who was a trade adviser to Rhen’s father. I was prepared to join him, but Rhen told me it would be a boring meal full of false flattery and he felt certain I could entertain myself more effectively.

So I am. Zo and I are swinging swords while Grey offers instruction.

Well, Zo is swinging a sword. I’m sweating through my clothes and learning that swordplay might not be my thing. I just can’t move quickly enough. My balance is lacking. Much like with ballet, this is more of a struggle than it should be.

After an hour, I put up a hand to stop, because otherwise I’m going to vomit in the dirt of the arena.

“You can tell me,” I say to Zo. “This isn’t my thing, is it?”

She smiles. “We can try again tomorrow.” She puts out a fist.

I grin and hit it with my own.

“Take the training blades to the armory,” Grey tells her. “Then relieve Dustan in the hall. I will escort the princess to her chambers.”

“Yes, Commander.” She offers a salute, then gathers the weapons to do as ordered.

Grey wordlessly pours me a glass of water at the table by the railing. I drain the whole glass in one swallow.

He gives me a look and holds out a fist.

I blush and hit it with my own. “It’s a custom in Disi.”

“I see.” He refills the glass. “You and Zo have become friends.”

“We have,” I agree. Freya has become a kind of surrogate mother, but Zo is becoming the friend I’ve always wanted. Sometimes late at night, when Rhen is asleep and she’s stationed outside my door, I’ll sneak out into the hallway and we’ll gossip about the silly posturing of the guardsmen or whatever frivolous request a noblewoman might make of Rhen. She’ll tell me how her mother forced her into an apprenticeship with the Master of Song in Silvermoon to settle a debt, and she does an impressive imitation of the man’s blustering.

She does an even better impression of Grey, one that made me laugh so hard we woke Freya’s children. We have to giggle in whispers because I don’t want Rhen to find out and put someone more boring outside my door, but I suspect he might know and doesn’t care.

Grey has been pouring me water like a servant, so I pick up the pitcher and fill a glass for him. “Are you happy with how everything is going?” I say. “I don’t think Rhen expected this kind of response.”

“I am pleased that you have found comfort and friendship. I am pleased our people seem united.” He hesitates. “I am not pleased that our time grows short.”

Because Rhen hasn’t broken the curse.

“I’m sorry, Grey,” I whisper.

He sighs and looks away.

“You owe no one an apology. You were brought here against your will. You have done more for us than anyone could rightly expect.”

“Ah, yes,” says a woman’s voice from the shadows. “Princess Harper and her alliance have been quite a boon for the people of Emberfall.”

Tension grips my spine, but I force myself to turn and face Lilith. She steps out of the shadowed corner. Tonight’s gown is red, a deep crimson bodice that falls into a hundred sheer layers of silk spilling to the floor, where they fade to white at the hem. Rubies glisten everywhere, like drops of blood scattered across her skirts.

“What do you want?” I say.

“I wondered if you were still so intent on returning home,” she says. “For I bring a message.”

“Like I would trust a bargain with you after what you’ve done to Rhen.”

“What I’ve done?” She laughs, a beautiful, childlike sound that hurts like a steel poker through my eardrum. “My dear girl, I merely showed him the state of his people.”

“You’re awful,” I spit at her. “You are despicable.”

Lilith is unaffected. She stands before me, her lips twisted into a bemused smile. “Do you know what I find despicable?” she says. “A prince who had the perfect opportunity to break this curse, time and time again, yet chose wrongly every single time. He could have ended this curse on the very first day, if he’d only seen what was right in front of him.”

My breathing has gone shallow. “Rhen would never love you.”

“Maybe not now.” Lilith reaches out a hand to touch the scar on my cheek. “But perhaps once. Did you know that I bribed Grey to gain access to the prince’s chambers?”

I knock her hand away. I don’t believe a word she says. “Don’t you touch me.”

She draws back a hand to slap me. I see the swing coming and barely have time to brace myself for the impact.

But Grey steps in front of me and catches her wrist. His dagger sits against her stomach. “I am under no orders here,” he says. “And you will not strike the princess.”

She glares at him. “If that blade breaks my skin, I will make you pay.”

“Is that your greatest threat?” he says. “Because there is truly nothing more you can take from me.”

Then he slams the dagger home.

She half crumples, but he grasps hold of her arm, keeping her upright. Blood spills around the blade to mingle with the rubies.

“Kill her,” I say.

“I have tried,” Grey says. “I cannot.”

“What if you cut her head off?”

His voice is grim. “It will rejoin her body.”

Lilith smiles, and there is blood on her teeth. She pulls the dagger out of her abdomen, and blood spills freely down the front of her dress as she staggers, still held upright by Grey’s grip. “I cannot be killed by simple steel.” She flings the bloodied blade to the ground. “Not on this side, silly girl. Magic seeks a balance. Do you not know this yet?”

I can’t decide if her morbid invulnerability is more disturbing than the blood pouring down the front of her gown. “I’ll find a way to kill you,” I say. “I don’t care what it takes.”

She laughs. A hand presses to her abdomen as she coughs blood. The scent is on the air, copper mixed with something bitter. “You? You stupid, broken girl. You did not even listen to me. You did not ask for my message.”

“What message?”

“Your mother. Your brother. So sad.”

Your mother. Your brother.

So sad.

I feel like I’m the one who just took the blade to the gut. “What happened?”

She lifts her bloodied hand and presses it against the cheek she cut.

The arena disappears. I’m in my family room with Jake. He’s on his knees, his hands clasped behind his head. An unfamiliar scar bisects his eyebrow, and he looks slightly bigger somehow, as if he’s been working out or gaining weight.

I can’t pay attention to any of that because a man stands over him, holding a gun to his head.

“You’ve had enough time.” The man cocks the hammer.

“My mother might not last the night.” Jake’s words fill me with relief and terror simultaneously. “I’ve been telling you for months, I don’t know where my father is.”

“Then you’d better find him.”

“Please,” says Jake. “My mother is in the bedroom. You can’t be here. Can’t we have—”

“Do you hear me, kid? You know how this works. We’ve been waiting long enough. We’ve got our orders.”

Then a faint voice, from somewhere else. “Jake? Jake, what’s going … what’s going on?”

“It’s okay, Mom!” Jake’s voice breaks. His face twists. “Please. One night. My mother.

Please. You owe me that, Barry. You know you do.”

Barry inhales, then sighs. “You have until nine a.m. That’s all I can give you.” He pauses and his voice is bizarrely amiable. “If you don’t get the money by then, I’ve got to do it.”

“Nothing is even open!” Jake rages. “I don’t know where my dad is! What are we going to do before—”

“What, you think you’re gonna get a bank loan?” Barry sighs.

“That’s it, kid. That’s all I can give you. Say your goodbyes. I’ll be back.”

Lilith lets go of my cheek. The vision disappears.

“Family tragedy,” Lilith says. “Such the pity.”

Rage builds in my chest. “Grey. Stab her again.”

I don’t expect Grey to obey, but he does. His blade flashes in the light and buries itself in her shoulder. She doesn’t cry out, but a small sound escapes her lips.

The expression on her face isn’t pain, though. It’s closer to euphoria. “I would so enjoy visiting you tonight, Grey. But I believe I have a better idea.”

She is so messed up. My thoughts won’t work in any direction.

“What do you want?” My voice cracks. “What do you want to send me home?”

“From you? Nothing.” Another cough. “Do you know why I granted Grey the ability to cross over to your side?”

I can barely think straight. “What? I don’t—no. I have no idea.”

“He is not trapped by the curse. He can leave at any time, but he will not. Not even when I gave him reason.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Commander Grey will not yield,” she says. “Not even when I described how his family would die.”

His expression is frozen, his eyes stony. He says nothing.

“I did not kill them all,” Lilith says. “You had so many brothers and sisters. I likely did your wanton mother a mercy.”

Every time I think Lilith cannot grow more terrible, I discover I am wrong. “Grey,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“I forswore family,” he says. His voice is tight and dark.

He told me that once before. I never really thought about what it might mean.

“It is by virtue of Grey’s loyalty alone that Rhen does not need to prey on his own people,” says Lilith. She smiles up at him. “I truly underestimated you, Commander.”

“Your mistake.”

“But it wasn’t a mistake. I believe your loyalty will work in my favor.”

I don’t understand. I’m so shaken by the image of my mother and brother that I can barely focus on what she’s saying right now.

Then she says, “I will grant Grey the ability to cross the veil between worlds at his whim. He can return you home at any time, Princess.”

“You—what?”

“He can return you home. You need not bargain anything from me. The person you must bargain with is Grey.”

With that, she disappears.

I can’t stop shaking. My mother has been dying for months—her death was at the end of this tunnel before I even arrived in Emberfall. But this is more than my mother. This is Jake.

I stare up at Grey. His eyes are closed off.

“Please,” I say.

“If I return you home, the curse has no chance to be broken.”

I put my hands against his chest. “Please, Grey. My brother has no one.”

“This is our final season. Our final chance.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. There are people depending on us. On me. But I can’t erase the sound of my brother begging from my ears. “Please, Grey.

Please.”

He looks away. A clear refusal.

“You broke your oath before,” I say desperately. “She said you took a bribe—”

He whips his head around, fury in his eyes. “It was a coin pressed into my palm, from a woman I’d seen share his affections in the Great Hall. It was silly. Frivolous. A hundred other guardsman had done it before me. I was young and tired and bored. So yes. I took her coin and I allowed her to wait in his chambers. Instead of spending the night alone, he spent the night with her. If you think I have not regretted that moment for every minute of every single one of these seasons, you are wrong indeed.”

“Please,” I whisper.

“No.”

The door at the end of the arena slams open. Rhen bursts through, slightly breathless. “Harper! I have good news! A messenger has arrived with word from—” He stops short, and everything positive drains out of his face. “Something has happened. Tell me.”

I open my mouth to tell him.

Instead, I burst into tears.

Rhen moves before me. “My lady. Please—”

I jerk away from him. Blinded by tears, I run from the arena.