A Curse So Dark and Lonely: Chapter 41

Mom has been sleeping for hours.

It’s close to five a.m. now, and I’ve been curled up in bed beside her, listening to the whoosh of her oxygen tank. She smells like sickness. I’d forgotten that.

The longer I lie here listening to her quiet breathing, the more I worry that I’m too late, that she’s going to pass away with me right here, never having a chance to say anything to her.

“Harp.” Jake speaks quietly from the doorway.

I barely lift my face from the pillow to look at him. “What?”

“You’ve been in here for hours.”

“I’m waiting for her to wake up.”

“Sometimes she—she doesn’t really.” A pause. “You need—we need …” His voice trails off.

I know what he needs. What he wants. An explanation. I rub at my tired eyes. The knife-lined bracers are still bound around my forearms under my sweatshirt, and I’m aware of them every time I move.

“I’ll wait,” I say to Jake. “I want her to know I’m here.”

He comes into the room and drops into the armchair beside her bed. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes red. He looks like life has thrown him against the wall a few dozen times—and it has no intention of stopping. He’s changed so much in the weeks I’ve been gone. His eyes are harder than I remember. More wary. I want to throw my arms around his neck and beg him to be the sweet brother I remember.

“She’s asked about you a lot.” He sniffs, like he’s sucking back tears. “I didn’t—I didn’t tell her you were missing. I read about how losing a child can accelerate death in a terminal patient, and I didn’t—I couldn’t—” His voice breaks and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Harper, where were you? Where did you get everything in that bag?”

The question isn’t emotional like the rest of his words. His voice is edged. Almost suspicious.

“I don’t know how to explain.” I’d prepared an explanation about being kidnapped and escaping with the bag of riches, but I don’t want to lie to him. Not like this, sitting on my mother’s deathbed.

“Harper, I need to ask you something.”

Mom shifts and takes a deeper breath. I freeze, waiting, hoping she’ll wake up.

She doesn’t.

I look back at Jake. “Go ahead.”

“Is this—are you working with them?” His eyes, dark and narrow just like mine, fix on my face. He’s never been wary of me. “Is this some kind of trap?”

“What?” I exclaim. “No!” I want to hit him. “I came back to help you.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve been gone for weeks and weeks, and you’ve shown up on the last day we can do anything to survive. It’s all a little …” He takes a breath, but his eyes are still hard. “Convenient.”

“Fine,” I snap. “I was kidnapped by a fairy-tale prince. He made me a princess. He was cursed by an evil enchantress. I had a chance to help him break the curse or come back here—”

“Mom is dying and you’re going to crack jokes? What the hell is wrong with you?” He stands up, looming over me. “Where have you been, Harper?”

“You aren’t going to believe me.”

He leans closer. To my surprise, his hands have formed fists. The tendons on his forearms stand out. “Try me.”

He would be intimidating, but he’s my big brother, and he’s always been my protector. Besides, I’ve scuffled with Scary Grey and half the soldiers in Rhen’s new army, and Jake’s got nothing on that. “What are you going to do?” I say. “Rough me up like everyone else you’ve been shaking down for Lawrence?”

He jerks back, eyes wide. “What? How did you—?”

“Jake?” Mom’s eyelids flutter. Her voice is whisper-soft. “Jake, what’s wrong?”

His throat jerks as he swallows all his rage. “Mom.” His voice is rough and hushed. “Sorry.”

Her head slowly turns. “Oh! Harper. You’re … here.”

Her voice is so weak. I can barely hear her.

I’m crying again before I even realize it. “I’m here, Mom.”

Her eyes fall closed. “I’ve been … thinking of you … so much. Did you … feel it?”

“I did.” I choke. “I did.”

“I’m so proud of you. You’ve been … working so hard.”

I stop breathing. “Mom?”

“She doesn’t always make sense,” Jake whispers, so softly it’s almost under his breath.

“It’s so good … to see you two … together,” she says. “Always … always take care of each other.”

“We will.” I lift her slender hand and kiss her wrist.

Her eyes flutter and she looks at me. “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been waiting so long.” A long pause. So long I think she’s fallen asleep. “I love you both so much.”

“I love you, too, Mom.”

I’ve been waiting so long to be with her, and now I’m here, and time is running out. It was awful watching her suffer—but now that I’m here, I want more time.

“I love you, too,” says Jake. He’s not looming anymore. His face is drawn and pale.

Mom takes another breath.

And then she doesn’t take any more.