A Curse So Dark and Lonely: Chapter 49

This time, my return to consciousness isn’t gradual. I jerk awake with a shout and a cry.

Pain grips me from all sides, and I nearly curl in on myself. Sunlight burns my eyes. I’m lying in sheets soaked in sweat.

“Shh, my lady.” Rhen’s voice. His hand touches my cheek. “Another nightmare. Be at ease.”

I blink and his warm eyes fill my vision.

He goes blurry as tears well up. “You’re here.” The pain takes my breath away, but I can’t stop staring at him. “You’re here.”

“Yes. I am here.” He uses his thumb to brush the tears out of my eyes. “Zo and Jacob will be quite relieved to hear your voice.” His hand flattens over my cheek, then my forehead. “And your healer will be quite relieved to know your fever is gone.”

“But—the curse—”

“Broken.”

“Broken,”

I whisper.

“Yes.” He brushes an errant lock of hair off my forehead. “It is quite nice to see you through these eyes again.”

I swallow. “How long have I been unconscious?”

“Six days.”

“Six days!” I struggle to sit up and regret it immediately.

“Easy.” He pushes me back down. “You have many weeks of healing ahead of you.”

“What about Grey? Is he okay?” I realize what he said about Jake and Noah. “He didn’t take my brother and Noah home?”

Something in Rhen’s eyes fractures. “Grey did not return.”

“What?”

“Grey did not return. He disappeared with Lilith, and he did not return.”

“Oh, Rhen.” Tears find my eyes again. “Do you think—”

“I do not know what to think.” He pauses. “He could be dead. He could be sworn to Lilith. He could be trapped on your side if he killed her there.

I do not know.”

I find his hand and grip it in mine, then watch his eyes flare in surprise.

He lifts mine and brushes a kiss across my knuckles. “I feel as though I have won and lost at the same time.”

“Me too,” I say.

Rhen frowns, then kisses my hand again. “I will send for your brother. I imagine you have much to say to each other.”

Days pass.

Grey does not return.

The rumors of the evil enchantress and of the monster’s destruction of Karis Luran’s army fly in wild directions. I hear murmurs of a halfling child who may languish somewhere—but many people have laughed this off as too far-fetched. Rhen does nothing to quell any of them. He is too popular. His alliance with Disi is seen as a victory that protected his people.

He has regained the respect and support of Emberfall.

Jake and Noah are trapped here. They’ve fallen into a routine, and they seem happy enough, though I’ve heard Jake comforting an emotional Noah late at night, when the darkness is absolute and there are no patients to treat, and reality seems more profound.

Rhen is always busy. Always needed. He visits me often, but more frequently I’m entertained by Zo and Freya and the children. Even at night, Rhen gives me space and privacy, allowing me time to heal.

A week after I wake, Noah gives me a pass to go for a short walk outside in the sunlight. Rhen sticks to my side, and we’re trailed by Dustan and Zo.

My abdomen aches, but the fresh air feels nice. We’re in the back courtyard, near the stables, the trellis crawling with vibrant roses.

“The flowers are blooming!” I exclaim.

“Yes.” Rhen smiles. “When the curse was broken, fall turned to spring. Overnight, the dried leaves curled up, new buds formed on the trees.” A pause, and the smile slides off his face. “Though we faced many losses, our victory over Lilith and Karis Luran is seen as quite impressive.”

A victory that meant the loss of Grey.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I miss him, too.”

He shakes his head slowly. “He should have been a friend. I feel as though I still failed in so many ways.”

He might come back. I think it, but I do not say it.

If Grey could come back, he would have.

“You didn’t fail,” I tell him. “You saved your people.”

“I failed,” Rhen says. “I did not save them soon enough. I did not prevent it from happening at all.”

I’m quiet for a moment.

“When Lilith told me my family was in danger, she said that Grey was the one who let her into your chambers. That first night. She bribed him for access. You never mentioned that.” I pause. “But you knew, didn’t you? You’d have to know.”

He nods. “I knew.”

“He once told me that he wasn’t blameless for the curse.”

“Perhaps not, but I allowed her to stay. I could have sent her back out.” He pauses.

“The responsibility was mine. The curse was mine.”

“Do you remember when we played cards and you told me about how your father said everyone is dealt a hand and they have to play it all the way out?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think he’s right. I think you get cards, and you play them, but then you get more cards. I don’t think it’s all predestined from the beginning. All along the way, you could have made a different choice and this all could have ended up differently.” I pause. “Failure isn’t absolute. Just because you couldn’t save everyone doesn’t mean you didn’t save anyone.”

His expression has gone somber. The sun beams down and we walk in silence for a while. Eventually I reach out and catch his hand. His steps falter as if he’s surprised, but I lace my fingers through his and keep walking.

“There is one area where I still do not know if I failed or succeeded,” says Rhen.

“What’s that?”

He stops me, then turns to face me. His hair is golden in the sunlight, his eyes intense on mine. “I do not know if you broke the curse—or if Grey did when he killed Lilith.”

I study him. He hasn’t asked a question, but his voice is weighted.

I suddenly realize he’s asking if I’m in love with him.

My eyes drop. “I don’t know.”

Which I suppose is the wrong answer either way.

“Ah.” He doesn’t move, but I feel a new distance between us, as if he’s taken a step back. His fingers unlace from mine.

I think of the nights we spent sharing secrets. How we’d sway to the music.

I think of Grey on his knees, offering himself, to spare me. To spare Rhen.

I think of iridescent scales and quiet nights and throwing knives and my mother.

I think of choices.

I think of who’s in front of me, and who may never return.

Rhen is turning away. He’s not going to push me—that was never his style.

I catch his hand. “Your Highness.”

It’s the first time I’ve ever said it without a shred of disdain, and it gets his attention. He turns back. “My lady.”

I reach up and touch a hand to his face. Pull his mouth down to mine. “I’d like to find out.”