103. Tears

The moment the alpha king and I stepped outside, I distanced myself from him. A safe distance where he could not touch me and disturb my emotions even further.

We stayed as far away from the servants and any eavesdroppers as possible.

Looking that no one was there, I said, “Say what you want, Maxxwell. Let’s get this done once and for all. I don't want to hear Zenith bitching over me and saying spiteful things," I muttered coldly. "And please. Sleep after this. I can still smell the liquor coming from your body."

"I'm sober now." Both of his hands fell on his side.

I released an exasperated sigh. "Don't make me wait anymore. I have a lot of things to do." I don't.

When I come back inside, I'll be overthinking again until sleep knocks me out.

“Honesty, I actually don’t know what to say, River. I just dragged you here. I wanted to talk to you.

You've been avoiding me for the past couple of weeks. I miss talking to you.”

My mouth went round. “What the fuck? Are you wasting my time? Go back to Zenith’s arms and finish what the two of you were doing earlier,” I snapped. "If you miss me, you are not busy enough to look for me."

Sometimes, I want him to look for me. To make me feel that I did matter to him.

I shook my head.

Where did that thought come from?

"Zenith was always beside me. She didn't want me to leave her side. But I assure you. Nothing happened between us, River.”

“How could I believe you when you have her kiss marks?” I sauntered towards him, yanked his collar, and exposed his neck. “Don’t tell me you were not aware she was biting your neck as if she was a vampire? And do you hear her moaning earlier? We heard her clearly, Maxxwell! I may not be able to read and write better than anyone else, but I am not a fool. Stop making me a fool!”

Maxxwell's face paled.

“I was trying to stop her earlier. I vow that nothing happened between us. I did not touch her, River.

Zenith is the one who kept on seducing me.” His expression softened. “Please, believe me.”

The woman was always on Maxxwell’s mind. And the absence of Zenith will only make his heart grow fonder of him.

I hardened my expression. “You want me to believe you? Kneel, Maxxwell. That is the only thing that you can do.”

Which I know he will not do. He was the alpha king. He was proud. Arrogant. He would never grovel—

He did. He kneels in front of me.

My mouth gaped open.

“What are you doing?”

He smiled sadly. “This is what you want. This signifies my honesty.”

“Get up! The servants will see you kneeling like this! They may lose their respect for you.”

“I don’t care. Do you believe me now?”

I turned sideways, folding my arms in front of my chest. “Why are you doing this, Maxxwell? Isn’t it enough that you keep on hurting me over and over again?”

“What? But I am not….”

“You want me to forgive you? Fine. Let me go back to my pack. To Haverstone Pack. Release me from your hold. You have Zenith to begin with. I am no longer important to you, anyway.”

I wanted to stay away from this place for a moment and gather my emotions again. That was the only thing I could do to save myself.

His head fell. “Is that what you desire? To stay away from me?”

"Yes!" I exclaimed. “Why? Don’t you pity me? Don’t you pity my wolf, Maxxwell? She’s been crying every day, urging me to talk to you. To beg you to reject Zenith so that it will only be the two of us. It pained me to see her suffering like this. So please, allow me to be released, Maxxwell. Can you do that for me?”

Oh, no. I will not cry in front of him. I won't.

Maxxwell sniffed.

I stiffened.

Was he crying? Why would an alpha king cry?

I knelt in front of him and lifted his chin. He was indeed crying.

Something tugged at my heart.

“Is that what you want?”

Seeing the alpha king cry was like a punch in the gut. And there I realized that I could never betray him if it would result in this. If he doesn’t still accept me going back to my pack, I will run away.

“Y-yes. Release me.”

“I release you as my servant. I release you as my attendant, River. If seeing is always meant to hurt you, perhaps going back is the answer. If only I did not proclaim her as my queen, then I have the option to—”

I covered his lips using my fingers. “Nothing will change, anyway. Be happy with Zenith, Your Majesty.

You have been searching and praying for her return,” I announced, cutting off his words.

"I also desire to be with you, River."

"If it means with Zenith…." I said, trailing off my words. "I can't. I want to be the only woman in your heart, Maxxwell. If you cannot do that, you better release me."

He lifted his face. "What will you do to your pack?"

"Find another man who will love me for real." It was a joke. But the way Maxxwell looked at me, it seemed like he thought I was being serious.

“Be safe,” he retorted, his voice cracked. "Be safe."

I did not know what had gotten over me, and the next thing I knew, I drew him towards my chest and engulfed him with a hug.

I felt Maxxwell stiffen but relax against my embrace.

—----------------

“Will you go back?” Dawn asked when I returned to my quarters. Maxxwell and I went our separate ways.

And now that I have his permission, I have to prepare everything. I will surely miss this place—

especially the twins.

I found Dawn irritated, but when she spotted me, concern washed over her face.

“Yes. Maxxwell already had given his permission.”

“He did? I was amazed he allowed you to, given that you are his mate. What changed?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

I was baring my soul to him.

“Nothing. I just told him the truth.”

“What will you do there? You said that Alpha Wade was nothing but a bastard and an asshole. He was an abuser. You don’t have any business with your pack, River. You have to think about it a couple of times.”

I grabbed my clothes and put them into my bag. It was better to be prepared. I only had to do one last thing. And that was to talk to Zenith.

“Where will I go, then, Dawn? I have nowhere else. I don’t have any identity."

"You have. You are the daughter of Melissa and Robert Dove.”

“I have to talk with Zenith. First. Before I owned that identity.”

“You can do that. But please don’t go back to Haverstone Pack. If you want, you can join me. I plan to gather my remaining packmates and build my pack again.”

“I-I can’t join you.”

Dawn's face fell. "Too bad. I'm expecting you to come."

"I won't."

"If that's the case, allow me to join you at Haverstone Pack, River. If you bring me with you, I can protect you."