: Chapter 35

‘You skipped school.’ I say softly.

‘You skipped class.’ He deadpanned, still not turning around to face me. I could see the rising and falling of his back as he tried to catch his breath.

A little smile makes its way to my lips.

‘Technically I skipped the rest of the day.’ It was supposed to lighten the tension but it does the opposite. He quickly turns around to face me, his face unreadable.

‘Why exactly are you here Ashley?’ He questions again, removes the gloves and throws them on the floor. I flinch slightly but regain my composure. He sounded so distant and cold like he wasn’t really here.

‘I come to see if you’re alright, I-‘

A very cold chuckle cuts me off. Blake crossed his arms over his chest, the muscles bulging. It takes everything in me to stop my eyes from trailing down south.

‘Yeah you suddenly care now.’He says bluntly and rolls his eyes in annoyance. ‘You wasted your time in coming here, I’m fine.’

I narrow my eyes now feeling pissed off at his indifference. Yeah we didn’t exactly end on a very good note last night but I was hoping he’d be more happy to see me.

‘What exactly do you mean? I always care for you Blake!’ I hissed and walked closer to him until we were a foot apart. ‘I care a little too much.’

I reached over and poked his chest. ‘And you’re definitely not fine, you’re mad at me-‘

He steps away and glares at me. ‘Ofcourse I’m fucking mad at you! You’re a very infuriating woman and I’m sick and tired of not being able to think properly when I’m around you!’

I flinch and back away as he advances towards me.

I felt the sudden cold brick behind my head and I knew that I was trapped. His hands come to brace beside my head, his muscles flex in the process.

He’s looking down at me while I’m looking up in those blue eyes of his that always made my heart pound. And that’s exactly what it was doing currently.

‘You’re fucking invading my thoughts when I’m awake and in my dreams. You won’t let me rest, I can always taste the sweet nectar of your kiss. The sweet taste of your juices between your legs.’ He clenches his eyes shut like it pained him to remember.

He opens his eyes. Blue meets green and we stare. ‘ I can always hear the sound of your moans that drive me fucking insane. Everything about you fucking makes me insane. I just wanted one fucking day without thinking about you and you ruined it by showing here!’ He hissed, nose flaring in anger.

I squirm the bag dropping to the ground with a thud. ‘And you want to know why I’m so furious with you right now?’ He doesn’t wait for me to respond just continued.’You always fucking push me away! Every damn time! I know you feel what I’m feeling Ashley, I could feel it in the way you respond to my touch. You want this too. So what’s stopping you? What’s holding you back?’

His question leaves my throat dry and senses in a blur. I’ve been asking myself those questions for days. ‘I’m scared.’ I whispered and turned my eyes away from him. There I said it. I stare at some of the exercising equipment.

I could feel his eyes on me, feel the way they burned through my skin. Being this close to him really wasn’t helping my emotions. ‘Scared of what?’ He finally asked after a tense pause silence.

I lost out a shaky breath and finally face him. It was better I tell him. I was tired of holding in my emotions. ‘I’m scared that you’ll finally come to your senses one day and not want me anymore. I don’t want to see disgust etched on your face one day. I don’t want to lose you Blake. I rather have you as a friend than not have you at all. ‘ I mumble sadly.

My eyes fall to his parted dusty pink lips. ‘This thing between us started when we kissed at that party. It’s just infatuation, you’ll soon get over it and what then? What becomes of us then? You’ll no-‘

Every word I spoke Blake’s seemed to darken in rage until he finally had enough and cut me off. ‘Bullshit!’ He roars. I flinch at his loud angry tone. ‘What you’re saying is completely and utterly bullshit!’ He spits.

He then laughs, one full of mockery. ‘I’m not fucking infatuated with you Ashley. What I feel for you isn’t just lust or admiration.’ He speaks then grabs my hand and places it on his chest.

I feel the rise and fall of his chest along with the feeling of his pounding heart. It was just as fast as mine. ‘I fucking love you Ashley. I always have. To be completely honest I figured that out after I helped clean you off of rotten eggs in the seventh grade.’

‘You were fucking crying and yapping about how stinky and ugly you were. I admit I always thought you were the prettiest girl I knew, but that day, when I looked into your eyes I felt something different. Suddenly you weren’t just a pretty girl, you were now my girl. And that realization scared me to death. I wanted you more than a friend should. I wanted you more than I ever wanted anyone.’ He says hoarsely, voice full of honesty as he looks into my eyes.

My heart is pounding until I’m afraid that I’ll get a heart attack. His matches the same rythm with my own, fast and uncontrollable. ‘Then why didn’t you-‘ I start.

‘Pursue you? Make you mine?’ He finishes for me. He sighs and his forehead comes to rest on my own. ‘I always knew what I wanted to become at an early age. I saw my mom protecting a guy of color when I was around five and saw my dad help someone who needed assistance. I wanted to be like that, I wanted to help others, I wanted to serve our country. I plan to join the army when I leave high school.’ He mumbles.

My heart squeezes. Blake was going to leave. We never really spoke about our life after high school or what we wanted to do. ‘I knew then that I couldn’t pursue a relationship only to leave you. I didn’t want you to wait for me Ley, you deserve so much better than a guy you’d hardly see, you deserve to be happy. So I swallowed my feelings for years. But then the feelings got stronger instead of diminishing and I knew that someday I’d break my promise and make you mine. The kiss at that party honestly gave me the key to the door, it was just a matter of time.’

One of his hands sneaks around my waist and pulls me closer to him. Our breathing is ragged as we stare into each other’s eyes. ‘Call me selfish but I’m done wasting time. I regret not doing it earlier, I hate that I waited years. I know you’d not want to wait for me when I join the army and honestly it hurts like fuck but if it makes you happy then-‘

I thread my fingers through his hair and pull him down to my lips. After kissing him like I was starved I pull back slightly to speak. ‘You’re an idiot, who says I wouldn’t wait for you? ‘ I give him a small peck on his lips earning a groan from him.’ By the way.’ I smile against his lips.’ I love you too.’

I could feel his heart pounding against my own chest. I was sure he could feel mine too. ‘Does that mean you’re now mine?’ His tone holds happiness. I nod and smile.

He cheers before I feel his hands grip my ass to hoist me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and succumb to his embrace. ‘I fucking love you Ley.’ He whispered in the crook of my neck.

‘I fucking love you too.’ I said honestly.

His head snaps up and he stares into my eyes, shocked beyond belief. ‘Did you just curse?’ He asks in shock.