: Bonus Epilogue
Things We Left Behind
Happily Ever After
Lucian
A decade or so later
Christmas Eve was always chaos in our house. It was tradition that our family gathered here every year for an over-Âthe-Âtop holiday/anniversary dinner. Over the years, our family had grown considerably.
In the immediate family, we had two dogs, the now elderly and still judgmental Meow Meow, and a very expensive saltwater aquarium with one bad-Âtempered fish that had proceeded to eat every other fish until a pretty little clown fish kicked his ass. Sloane named him Lucian.
Despite my annual offering to hire a caterer, the womenâÂand StefâÂcommandeered the kitchen, drinking wine, laughing, and cooking for hours while the men ran herd on the younger kids.
There were so many traditions and so many people observing them. It should have been overwhelming, but every time the front door opened and a familiar face wandered in carrying gifts, bundled up against the cold, another broken piece inside me knit itself back together.
Not that Iâd ever admit it. I was, after all, Lucian Fucking Rollins. And even though Iâd gone part-Âtime in my own company, I was still a scary motherfucker.
Except to my family, of course.
I wandered into the kitchen, holding my first grandbaby. Amara was a tiny, bald little peanut in a too-Âbig Christmas onesie. I hadnât put her down since she got here. Sloane swooped by and delivered a kiss to Amaraâs cheek and then mine.
âLookinâ good, Grandpa,â she teased.
Our oldest son, Caden was twenty-Âfive. Weâd finalized his and his sister Caitlinâs adoption from foster care when Sloane was pregnant with our first baby, a boy we named Simon. In the course of four months, weâd gone from zero children to three. And weâd added a fourth, Juliana, just one year later.
I shot my wife a smoldering look, a promise of things to come.
She winked, then asked, âWhen will Nolanâs family get here?â
âTheyâll be here tomorrow night in time for Stef and Jeremiahâs Christmas party.â Stef had purchased the foreclosed Red Dog Horse Farm on the outskirts of town and turned it into a luxury spa. Every year, we gathered there for a catered feast.
Knox marched through the kitchen with his youngest daughter tossed over his shoulder. He paused long enough for Gilly to reach down and snag two cookies off the platter.
âViking and Mini Viking, youâre both in trouble!â Naomi called after them.
âDoes anyone need anything in here? A beverage? A clean dish towel? Some sanity?â I offered, admiring the platters of food.
âWine,â everyone chorused at the same time.
âLou, the kitchen needs wine,â I bellowed at Naomiâs father who, with Linaâs father, was manning the bar weâd added in the dining room. Amara looked up at me wide-Âeyed and then belly laughed.
âHowâs my little one?â Waylay asked, cooing at her daughter nestled in my arms.
In a twist of fate, Caden and Waylay had officially joined our families by overcoming years of friendship and falling in love in college. I still thought they were terrifyingly young to have jumped into that kind of commitment, but Sloane made me promise to keep my concerns to myself.
As my beautiful wife pointed out, if weâd done our job right, Caden would be a well-Âadjusted, productive adult who knew what he wanted. So far, her prediction appeared to be accurate. Even Emry, who was in the family room with his wife, Sacha, wearing a Hanukkah sweater and explaining the dreidel to Nashâs twins, assured me that they seemed like a happy, healthy couple.
âKnock knock!â a cheery voice called from the front door.
âLetâs go see who it is,â I told Amara. We arrived in time to see my mother-Âin-Âlaw, Karen, stroll through the door with my mother, their boyfriends, and their suitcases. I was still withholding judgment on both men. Even though the barrel-Âchested Max, who charmed Karen through salsa dancing, and the Purple Heart recipient veteran José looked at my mother as if sheâd given birth to the sun, the moon, and everything in between, I wasnât ready to trust either of them any further than I could throw them.
The great-Âgrandmothers dissolved into delighted squeals, and Amara was wrestled from me.
My flour-Âcovered wife appeared and started doling out hugs and cheek kisses. âYour rooms are ready upstairs. Dinner is in an hour. And wine is now,â she said.
âWeâll take the bags,â Jose offered, using his good arm to heft my motherâs overnight bag. As an above-Âthe-Âelbow amputee, the man was annoyingly good at everything. Which only served to make me want to find his weakness even more.
Karen sighed as she watched Max head for the staircase. âTell me the truth. Am I too old for this?â
âToo old for what?â Sloane asked, slipping her arm around my waist.
âTo be soâ¦infatuated.â
âWeâre never too old,â my mother assured her emphatically, winking at me as she jiggled Amara on her hip. I was still getting used to this new, confident Mom. And she was still getting used to Lucian the family man. But we were making it work.
âMom, itâs like Dad picked him out personally for you. Heâs lovely,â Sloane said.
âHe is, isnât he? Speaking of lovely, when are Maeve and Kurt getting here?â Karen asked.
âMaeve just texted. Chloe and her girlfriend just arrived so theyâll be here in a few minutes,â Sloane reported.
âI canât wait to meet the woman who got Chloe to stop talking long enough to fall in love,â Karen said with a grin.
A twitch of fur caught my eye, and I spotted Meow Meow hidden behind the drapes in the front window.
Knox growled theatrically from the living room and lunged on hands and knees. Two kids screamed and streaked down the hallway, three dogs yapping at their heels. Knox laughed, until he had to get to his feet.
âGoddammit, this middle-Âaged thing sucks,â he groaned.
We were all older. More things hurt getting out of bed in the morning. But Iâd never felt better in my life. Being part of this circus of a family had healed so many scars I didnât even know I carried. Iâd stopped tattooing over the physical ones after watching my wife wear hers like a badge of honor.
âHo! Ho! Ho!â Duke Morgan, Knox and Nashâs father, appeared in the open doorway. The man was dressed as Santa, and his wife was dressed as Mrs. Claus. On the porch was a red velvet sack overflowing with presents.
âGrandpa Santaâs here,â Nash, in uniform because he was on call, yelled. Lina was tucked into his side, her arms around his waist. Kids from all corners of the house ran to greet the newcomers.
Taking advantage of the distraction, I grabbed Sloane by the wrist and nodded toward the front door.
She grinned at me. We snuck our coats out of the closet and ducked outside onto the porch.
âThereâs too many damn people in there,â I complained as she led me to the swing.
âYou love it, and you know it, Lucifer.â
I did, and there was no hiding it despite my best efforts.
I pulled my wife into my side and covered us with the fleece blanket we kept on the porch for such escapes.
Sloane snuggled against me and let out a sigh of contentment. âEvery year just keeps getting better,â she said.
I stroked my hand over her hair, currently a silver blond. It really did. My semiretirement hadnât been the bump Iâd expected it to be. Nolan and Lina had been promoted. The unbearably chipper Holly had moved in next door to us in my old house with her new husband to work with Sloaneâs foundation. Between the library and her foundation, Sloane continued to amaze me with her generosity and tenacity.
Weâd kept my place in the city, but it had taken buying a monstrous place in the Outer Banks to get Sloane to truly slow down. Every year, we wrangled the entire extended brood into a two-Âweek beach vacation. The kind Iâd always dreamed of as a kid. With bonfires and fireworks and lazy days spent getting too much sun.
The life weâd built was the stuff of dreams.
Sloane sat up and looked at me with eager eyes. âI got you something.â
âYou got me everything.â
âSaid the rich guy who literally showers me with gifts on a daily basis. Do you think you can handle your anniversary present?â
I sighed. âOf course, but do it quickly before someone finds us out here.â
It had become yet another little tradition between just the two of us, sentimental gifts exchanged privately on our anniversary. This morning, Iâd given Sloane hers, a custom-Âmade dress by the same designer who had made her wedding gown. She was wearing it now, and every time I looked directly at her, my heart beat just a little faster.
Smugly, she lifted a pillow from the end of the swing to reveal a package wrapped in red-Âand-Âgreen-Âplaid paper.
I unearthed an acrylic frame from beneath the paper and lifted it free.
It was a single, perfect cherry blossom.
âItâs from our tree. I figured since you gave each kid a cutting that you should have something from it that you can enjoy all year-Âround.â
I traced my fingers over the blossom that had symbolized so much for me for so long.
Hope. Love. Family.
All of it Iâd earned. All of it Sloane had given me.
âItâsâ¦uh⦠Itâsâ¦nice.â I managed to get the words out around the lump in my throat.
Sloane grinned, bouncing on the cushion. âI knew youâd love it!â She paused her victory dance as the sound of breaking glass, a chorus of âuh-Âohs,â and raucous barking sounded from inside. âNow, get your shit together before we go back in there.â
I chuckled and looked up to catch the winking angel on top of the porch tree. âHe would have loved this,â I said.
âYou know what else he would have loved? The dad and grandpa you are.â
I pulled her into my lap and framed her face with my hands. âAll for you. Always.â