Chapter 0015

“Daniel,” I say, my heart going out to him. “Why is it such a big deal? It’s the twenty-first century – it’s so

backwards to think that way about sexual orientation –“

“You don’t understand,” he says, shaking his head and looking down at the floor. “It’s a different world

here, Fay – that’s why I spend so much time outside of it, at school, in the bookshops and coffee

shops.”

“This world, this family,” he says, “all their values are 100 years old, maybe more. And tradition is

everything, family is everything. If I don’t get married, don’t have kids to carry on the family line…not

only will they consider me a failure, but it will cause massive chaos in the city as the other bosses try to

grab what my dad has built. What I will inherit, whether I want to or not.”

I study Daniel’s perfect face, feeling for him. He’s trapped and he knows it.

God, was I trapped now too?

“Do you know what they do to people like me, Fay?” Daniel asks, turning to look at me, agonized.

I shake my head no, not even wanting to imagine it.

“They beat the crap out of them,” he says, “make them denounce their sexuality, who they are, and if

they do it again, they…they mutilate them…”

He says quickly, shaking his head. “One of the other boss’s sons. He shamed the family and…” Daniel

shakes his head, unable to finish.

“Why don’t you just leave, Daniel,” I say, horrified for him. “Why not just run?”

He laughs, a harsh thing. “You think I haven’t thought about it?” He shrugs. “They’ll just find me, Fay.

There’s no getting out of it. I’m the sole heir to my father’s game. If run, they’ll find me. If I defy

expectations about the kind of life I’m supposed to life – wife, family, taking a role in the organization,

they’ll…well, they’ll straighten me out.”

His lips quirk at his little play on words. Mine do too.

“Daniel, this all sucks,” I say, and he laughs at my understatement. “But is the solution really just to give

them what they want? You know what your dad did to me today – made me give up everything I love,

say horrible things to my family so that they’ll let me go.”

Daniel looks at me, hopeless.

“Why give them what they want? Why don’t we both run? Maybe together…”

He shakes his head, sighing. “You don’t get it, Fay,” he says. “You can’t just disappear anymore. Your

in his world now, there’s no escape.”

“My mom did it,” I say quietly, realizing it myself for perhaps the first time. “She ran from my father,

stayed away.”

“Yeah,” Daniel says, looking me in the eye. “And even after she died, the world came and found you,

her daughter, and pulled you back in even when it couldn’t take her. Don’t you get it, Fay? Even if you

got away, got married, had kids, had the life you wanted – my dad? Your dad? They would find your

kids, and pull them in. There’s no getting out.”

My stomach drops like a stone when I realize that he’s right. Even if my mother did get out – here I

was, right back in it.

But still. I couldn’t just give in. Maybe Daniel has been more beat down than me – or maybe just more

realistic – but this isn’t the life I want. I have to try. And in order to try, maybe this means I have to go

deeper into this world. Study it. Figure out what makes it tick.

And then, when I find a loophole. I’ll run.

“Well, Daniel,” I say, taking his hand again and giving them a squeeze. “You may have given in, but I’m

not sure I have yet. All I ask is that when the time comes, you don’t stop me from leaving.”

He looks at me, sadness etched on his face, and says nothing.