Chapter 0025

A few horrible minutes pass when I consider what the hell will happen to me if people discover the

Mafia Boss’s dead body in my room.

But, during those minutes, Kent’s breath softens. The horrible, crinkled look of pain disappears and his

face takes on its normal lines. He’s still sweaty and exhausted but he was right. It passes.

“Are you…are you okay?” I venture after a few minutes of calm breathing.

He doesn’t open his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Um,” I hesitate. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call someone? A doctor?”

He sits up on my floor, hooking his arms around his knees for support, and then straight at me. “I don’t

need a doctor.”

I stare at him, and I’m sure he can tell by my face that I think he’s definitely wrong. He shakes his head

and looks down – embarrassed, I think – and pauses before he speaks.

“It’s just…” he says, “something that happens to me. From time to time. It’s been happening for the

past couple of years. At times of…stress.”

I sink to the floor, my back still against the door, putting the pieces together.

I can’t believe it. “Oh my god,” I say, not even thinking about whether or not I should say it. “You have

panic attacks.”

He glances up at me.

“They’re really common,” I continue, “but not usually to this extent. But we learned, in my program, that

when they’re really severe they can present with the intensity of a heart attack…”

He doesn’t look at me or say a word. I bite my lip, feeling suddenly sorry for him. I can’t help it. I’ve

never really been able to see another person in pain and not want to help them.

“You know,” I say quietly. “There are doctors that can help you with this sort of thing. You shouldn’t

suffer like this, if they happen all the time.”

“I don’t need to see a doctor.” He says, his voice determined.

I roll my eyes at him, a gesture I’m not sure I’d make if he were looking at me.

“Well, if you don’t want to see a doctor,” I say, hesitating again. “Maybe I could help?”

He lifts his head, his eyes open now. “How could you possibly help me.”

I purse my lips, frustrated. “I mean, I am a trained therapist. I wouldn’t think you’d forget that,

considering it’s how we met.”

He laughs a little. “Yes, Fay’s little certificate,” he says, his voice derisive.

“Kent, this can be a seriously debilitating mental condition –“ I say, but he interrupts me.

“I have spoken to my doctor, Fay,” he says. “There is nothing wrong with me.”

But my training, and my desire to help, push back against my instinct to follow his command. “You have

an anxiety disorder, Kent,” I say, my voice serious.

He just laughs at me. “An anxiety disorder? A mental illness? Sissies make those up terms so they can

have an excuse for why they’re so inadequate.”

With that, he pushes himself to his feet. I do too, blocking the door with my body. “It’s not for sissies –

it’s an important aspect of your health –“

“Fay,” he says, angry with me, pressing his hand flat against the door so that I’m trapped between him

and the exit. “Do you know what would happen to me in this world, if word ever got out that I have

some kind weakness in my mind?”

I hesitate. I can guess, but I choose silence.

“I’d be dead, Fay.” He says, glaring at me. “If they ever found my body, it’d be at the bottom of a lake

with cinder blocks for shoes. And while I was missing, all of my enemies would come – like the carrion

birds they are – and pick pick pick –“he taps the top of my head, like a little bird pecking – “at the world

I’ve worked so hard to build.”

I stare up at him, not knowing what to say.

“So, if you don’t mind,” he says, still glaring, “I think I’ll decline your offer of mental health services.”

He pushes himself up off the door and I step aside so he can leave. He twists the handle, but he

hesitates before he pulls it open. “You will tell no one what you witnessed tonight. Ever. Not even

Daniel. Do you understand?”

Slowly, I nod as he strides out of my room and down the hall.

I watch him go, still shocked at the events of the evening.

Then, a slow smile creeps over my face.

Well. It looks like I finally got my first little piece of power in this mafia game. The question was, how

would I use it?