Chapter 0355

Janeen does whatever she wants, as usual. She doesn’t really need the money anymore — none of us do — but she still takes up

shifts at Crabby Dicks, the crappy beach strip club where we had our wedding reception, whenever she wants some extra cash,

or needs to dance, or just desires some male attention. Sometimes she stays out all night, sometimes she’s home, but she’s

always here when I need her.

Dad is a more constant, quiet presence. He’s been retired for years, though, so he knows how to entertain himself. Sometimes

he goes back to the city to hang out with his old buddies, but most of the time he’s here with me as I hunch over the kitchen

table, reading through legal paperwork, and histories of mafia families, and chess manuals.

“You getting anywhere with this, Fay?” he asks, a couple of weeks into the process when I’m weirdly studying Machiavelli's The

Prince alongside some of the international shipping maps that Daniel brought home from work.

I sigh and sit back, looking up at him. “I’m honestly not sure, dad,” I say, running anxious hands through my hair and piling it

messily on top of my head.

“Can I do anything to help?” he asks and I take a deep breath and smile up at him.

“Maybe order a pizza?” I say, hopeful. Dad he laughs and goes to make the call. I dig eagerly into the greasy hot pizza about an

hour later, absolutely starving. Because that’s how I am these days — just constantly hungry and constantly snacking to keep the

nausea away.

Because the moment that I stepped into my second trimester...

Let's just say that the easy nature of my first trimester? When I wondered whether I was pregnant, because I couldn't feel — at all

— that I was pregnant?

Well. That went the hell out the window.

I woke up in the middle of the night one night, green to the gills, and rushed to my bathroom to barf up absolutely everything in

my stomach. And it honestly feels like I have been nauseous every single second since that first night.

The only thing that keeps the nausea at bay is constantly eating. And my solution to this — to which no one has yet protested — is

to keep snacks in every corner of the house so that I can wander from room to room and there’s always something waiting for

me.

“What is this,” Janeen murmurs one afternoon as she sits in my bathroom with me, watching me lean over my sink to put a little

mascara on my eyelashes. I turn to look at her and see that she’s pulled a bag of popcorn out from the bathroom closet, stashed

in with the towels.

“That’s my...bathroom snack...” I murmur, suddenly blushing as I realize how weird it is. But my sister just laughs at me and puts

it back.

“Whatever you need, Fay,” she sighs, coming to put an arm around me and to run her hand over my belly, which is just barely

starting to swell.

“How is little Princess Baby doing in there, anyway?”

“She’s good,” I murmur, though I can’t help being a little chagrined. “Wish she'd lay off the nausea trigger a little bit, though. What

does she even get from it?”

“We'll make her pay it back to us on her twenty-first birthday,” Janeen says, grinning and giving me a big kiss on the cheek.

“Make her barf so much she needs bathroom snacks to recover.”

I laugh and then turn, shaking my head at her. “You need to stop calling the baby a she, Janeen,” I say, grinning. “We still don’t

know, and you're going to confuse both me and yourself — and potentially the baby, if it ends up being a boy.”

“I remain convinced,” Janeen says,

waving her hand at me as she leaves

me alone in th Rathyreni. ‘Sein

proveaibthetwisel Besides,” she

shrugs, calling over her shoulder,

“gender is a spectrum!” Please read

the original content at

.

I nod, conceding the point, and I turn

to the mirror and grimace a little, and

then look down at myebey. ‘what do

yoy thinks Wile Bay I murmur,

running a hand over my little pot

belly. “You're she until proven

otherwise, while your dad, today...”

Please read the original content at

.

I sigh again and look at myself in the mirror, unable to muster a smile. Because even though I’m staying in the house, Jerome

and Daniel are at court today, at Kent’s public hearing for his plea deal.

And even if in our justice system all those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty?

Today, Kent is pleading guilty.

Because I told him to.

“Well baby,” I say, not really knowing

if I'm speaking to myself or toRen)

little lemon- izecthurfiah growing

ins\ae , let's just hope that this all

goes well. And that I didn’t just ruin

all of our lives.” Please read the

original content at .