Chapter 0054

When we finally reach the black sedan, Kent and Daniel climb into the back seat on either side of me,

sandwiching me in the middle. Pressed between them, I fold my hands between my knees and try my

best to breathe evenly.

“Go,” Kent says firmly to Carlos, who obediently peels out. Kent continues to look out the window,

surveying the landscape for any more threats which he didn’t catch the first time.

Daniel, instead, turns to me. He takes my face in my hands and carefully looks me over. When he

ascertains that I’m not scratched or bruised, he moves on to the rest of my body, putting a hand on my

knee and taking me in.

“How are you, Fay?” he asks quietly. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m f-f-fine,” I say, shivering a little. I don’t know whether it’s shock still, or perhaps the cold –

Suddenly, I remember my beautiful mink stole – still in the coat check at the country club. I turn

backwards to look out the rear window with a little “oh,” regretting the loss of it.

“What,” Kent says, worried, following my gaze. I instantly feel guilty – here he is, looking for assassins

wielding guns or blades and here I am, sorry to have lost my coat.

“N-nothing,” I say, looking up at him. I notice that he’s still clutching his arm and that blood is still

seeping from behind his hand.

I lean across him to look at it. “Are y-you all right?”

“I’m fine,” he says, pulling away from me with gritted teeth. “Just a graze – nothing the guys at home

can’t patch up –“

I look up into his face, then, my eyes wide, finally putting the pieces together – god, what the hell took

me so long – “do you mean you were shot!?”

Kent looks at me, then, frustrated and like he doesn’t know what to say – because of course he was

shot.

The knowledge, though – after all that we’ve been through tonight – sends me. I lean back into the

leather of the seat, my whole body shaking, pressing my teeth together so that they won’t clatter.

“Oh my god, Fay,” Daniel says, pulling off his coat and wrapping it around me. He looks towards his

father, who looks straight forward in the car. “What should I do for her??”

“Nothing,” his father says. “She’ll get through it. Just keep her warm. Everyone’s first time is rough.”

Daniel wraps his arms around me as the tears start to leak from my eyes, sliding down my cheeks in a

silent torrent. All of a sudden, I’m so fed up with all of this –

So fed up with this world, with this life – how people think it’s just normal to have a first shootout, as if

there will be more and I’ll just get used to them –

I saw people die tonight – people with families – people who were coming after me, maybe, trying to

take me because I’m a powerful pawn in whatever fucking game they’re playing – Kent and Alden and

Daniel –

I hate them all then – hate everything they stand for.

Daniel tries to be kind to me, tries to shush me and stroke my hair softly.

“I hate this,” I whisper between my clattering teeth. “I hate this, I hate this life, I hate everything it

represents –“ I turn to Daniel then, hurt and damage all over my face. “I wish I’d never met you – I was

right to dump you the first time, when –“

But I snap my mouth shut. I don’t mean all of it, not really – I don’t hate him. If I did, I’d tell his dad his

secret to punish him for wrapping me all up in this – for not letting me go, for being complicit in keeping

me here, trapped in this life, when all I want to do is leave.

“I’m sorry, Fay,” Daniel says softly, and I can tell by the guilt in his face that he means it.

“Then let me go,” I plead, desperate.

Slowly, though, he shakes his head.

Deep down, I know the choice isn’t his. But I weep bitter tears anyway.